Husband and wife get along: only by not turning over "old scores" can marriage be happier!

The most taboo for couples to quarrel is to turn over old scores and expose shortcomings. Arguing is ok, but you must tell the truth. Don't talk about past mistakes again and again, hurting each other's feelings.

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0 1.

At the beginning of the month, just after the wedding, Chen Man and her husband Li Jian agreed to divorce.

My son didn't dissuade him after he knew it. He feels that divorce is a relief for both parents, and he doesn't want his parents to live a marriage in name only because of him.

Because of this, it will make him feel very stressed and guilty, and he even secretly sighs that he finally doesn't have to stay in a home where his face and heart are inconsistent.

In fact, the divorce between Chen Man and Li Jian does not involve cheating or domestic violence, but there is one problem that Li Jian can't stand. That is, when husband and wife have conflicts, Chen Man always likes to turn over old scores. She still remembers the bad things more than 20 years ago. As long as Li Jian is a little wrong or sorry about Chen Man, it will be the content of the quarrel in the future.

In Chen Man's eyes, nothing can be turned over. She always felt that she had to catch Li Jian's "pigtail" and remind him to reflect and repent.

For example, when he first got married, Li Jian liked playing cards, and sometimes he was too focused on playing cards, which delayed many things.

One weekend, Chen Man had a stomachache because she ate something cold, so she called Li Jian, hoping that Li Jian could buy some medicine and send it back to her. After receiving the call, Li Jian promised to buy it back immediately, but Li Jian, who put the phone down, was immersed in the poker table.

Chen Man waited at home and called several times, but because the table was too noisy, Li Jian didn't hear the call and forgot to buy medicine.

Chen Man waited at home for a long time and stamped his feet with anger, but there was nothing he could do, so he had to bite the bullet and go downstairs to buy medicine.

A few hours later, Li suddenly remembered to ask him to buy medicine. He hurried off the table, bought the medicine and went home. When he saw Chen Man, he apologized to her and promised her that he would never play cards again. Chen Man and Li Jian had a cold war for several days.

02.

Li Jian knew that he had gone too far this time. After that, he seldom went to play cards. He thought it was over, but he didn't expect to quarrel later. Chen Man always said it again.

On another occasion, a former colleague of Li Jian said that his father in his hometown needed surgery and needed money badly, so he borrowed 10,000 yuan from Li Jian for emergency and promised to pay him back in a month. Li Jian thought, after all, is a colleague, the somebody else to this sake, also is not good to refuse, consult with Chen Man before they lend it out.

But a month later, Li Jian's former colleague secretly hacked Li Jian's WeChat and other contact information, and the whole person lost contact. Naturally, this $10,000 also hit Shui Piao.

When Chen Man found out, he scolded Li Jianyi. Li Jian knew he was careless this time, so he didn't argue. I sincerely admit my mistake and then give all my bank cards to Chen Man for management. But since then, every time there is a contradiction, Chen Man will take out something wrong with Li Jian over the years and whisper it in Li Jian's ear, endlessly.

Chen Man scolded again and again and answered Li Jian's scar again and again, which always made Li Jian very depressed and annoyed. Finally, Li Jian moved back to his parents' house and didn't want to go home and listen to Chen Man's old scores. I also think that Chen Man will never get rid of this bad habit in his life, so he only made up his mind to divorce Mann after his son got married.

03.

In fact, there are many people like Chen Man. When quarreling with your lover, you always like to count all the wrong places in each other's history from beginning to end.

Although those things have passed for a long time, he keeps bringing up the old things. This kind of behavior will make the other person very angry, painful and unbearable.

There will always be such an example around us:

"Before I asked you to buy a house in XX, you hesitated, and finally the price went up. Later, I asked you to get the money owed by XX back, and you also lost face. You also bought a poor seat in that movie, and you can't do anything well; The last time you had an ambiguous chat with that woman ... "

Why do some people like to turn over old scores is because they think that what happened at the beginning can poke a sore spot, make that person feel more guilty, and thus change that person's behavior.

In fact, the most taboo between husband and wife is to turn over each other's old accounts, because if you continue to turn over the old accounts, the other party will turn the original guilt into resentment and boredom, because he feels the endless pressure from you, and then the fuse will gradually start to spark.

If you want a happy marriage, it is very important to learn to forget properly. If you always cling to the past and don't turn the page, you will only suffer.

Only those who know how to turn over the past can have more happy space.

When I really just gave birth to a child, I neglected my husband because I took care of the child. My real husband chatted with my female colleague on WeChat and asked questions.

When she really knew about it, she calmly told her husband that she knew about it and asked him what he thought, whether he thought the women outside were better or wanted a better life.

My real husband is very guilty, saying that he just thinks the new colleague is fresh and interesting, which is nonsense. Really, it's okay. Now take back your heart and let the family live a good life.

From then on, Zhen Zhen never said anything about her husband's affair, but her husband felt a little ashamed of his wife and became more cordial to her.

In marriage, it is a wrong way to make a person realize that he is wrong and needs to change, and it should not be solved by turning over old accounts. The effect is often counterproductive.

So, let bygones be bygones, don't bring up the past, don't dig up old scores, don't pursue them, don't make trouble without reason, and don't think about pulling back a game at this time. A wise man knows how to turn a page.

04.

The relationship between husband and wife depends entirely on whether you do more things to add points to your feelings or do more things to reduce points in your life.

In marriage, there can be disputes and even a little emotions, but don't turn over old scores.

Because, once the old account is turned over, the other party will be more angry and the situation will get worse. There is no way to communicate well to solve the present situation, and it will hurt feelings, which will not help solve the problem at all, and will also hurt the feelings of husband and wife.

Husband and wife belong to two families with different value systems. Forming a new intimate relationship will inevitably lead to contradictions, disputes and quarrels. However, when there is a quarrel, don't use the shortcomings mentioned above to save face, argue and hit the other side. This is very stupid.

In this world, there is no one who can't make mistakes. Now that it's a thing of the past, let's turn over those old accounts.

No matter how angry two people quarrel, some topics are really untouchable. The past is over and really can't be mentioned again.

Bringing up the past is really tantamount to exposing the scars and sprinkling some salt. Over time, it is a scar in marriage that is difficult to heal.

Married marriage life is managed by both husband and wife, and it is mutually inclusive. Everyone has advantages and disadvantages, and we can't just hold on to each other.

The days are still long, and we can't always live in memories. Today's contradiction is solved today, and then turn the page.