Begging girls to joke.

A young man received a dear John letter from his girlfriend, which wrote: "Although,

Our relationship is over, but you must compensate me for the loss of my youth for four years.

Lost ... "

The young man replied with a short message: "Honey, I can't afford this money."

Yes, because you have no insurance. "

Friendship between generations

A man said to his new girlfriend, "If you insist.

Tell me your age, so I have to tell others that you are a friend who has forgotten the year. "

Chemistry fan

A young man and a young woman fell in love. This man is studying chemistry at the moment.

Study hard. In the park, other lovers are talking about love, but he is there.

Write a chemical formula for your girlfriend on the grass. Girlfriend in order to get his attention

Italy, one day deliberately wore a bright flower skirt. As soon as they meet, he will definitely

He looked enviously at his girlfriend's dress and shouted, "This dress is really beautiful."

Beauty. "

The girlfriend thought, "I finally got him tempted." However, I didn't expect

Then he said, "The pictures above are all desirable benzene rings."

blow/throw a kiss (at)

The angry father scolded his daughter, "Clara, why are you in a big school?"

Blow a kiss to that strange young man in public? What a pity! "

"Why? He blows me a kiss first, if I don't let it go.

Throw it back. Do you want me to keep it? "

Freeze for seven days

A couple got angry and decided to "punish" each other for a week.

I can't get through.

A week later, the woman spoke first: "Since you can endure seven."

If I don't call tomorrow, I can't help but not answer the phone for seven days. "

The sun and the ocean

A couple is at the seaside.

Man: "I remember a poet who wrote,' Warm the sun is selfless.

Kiss the blue ocean. Dear, I want to be a selfless sun, and you?

It's a blue ocean. "

Woman: "What about after sunset?"

Jiazhuang

Two beggars are very close. They met in front of a restaurant this morning.

Yes One of them said, "Congratulations!" I finally got engaged for my daughter.

Yes! "

"Heartfelt congratulations! Who is the groom? "

"Bigger is a little deaf in his left ear."

"Good boy! How much dowry did you give him? "

"Don't ask that! I'm going to take the whole Mill Street and half a cow.

Give him Ning Street, and I will never beg there again. "

I do

Director: "Miss Wang! The young man was anxious to shoot this scene.

Rush into your room, hug you, tie you with a rope, and then

He kissed you madly. "

Heroine: "Is this man tall and beautiful?"

Director: "Of course! Hey, why do you ask this? "

Heroine: "Then, he doesn't have to tie me up."

I don't know

The girl asked her boyfriend who was nearly fifty years old, "Honey, how many do you have?"

Years old, you look very young. "

Boyfriend: "I don't know. You are as old as you say. "

Girl: "Then when were you born?"

Boyfriend: "When I was born, I was very confused. Who knows which one? "

Years! "

Monocular aiming

Woman: "Why do you use one eye every time you look at me?"

Man: "You don't know? This is even clearer. "

Woman: "Why?"

Man: "It's very simple. We all aim with one eye when shooting. "

Quasi? "

saviour

On the boat, a beautiful girl proudly said to the passengers, "I am today."

God saved the lives of more than 800 of you. Do you think greatness is not great? "

Passenger: "How did you save it?"

Girl: "because the captain threatened me if I didn't agree to his request."

If you get married, he will sink a boat and let everyone die at the bottom of the sea, so I have to answer.

Answer him. "

lower the standard

Woman: "You have good conditions in all aspects. Why didn't you find a woman before? "

Friends? "

Man: "Because my eyes are too high."

Woman: "Then I am honored to be your girlfriend now."

Man: "No, but now I lower my eyes."

The difference of a word

A young woman on a farm wrote to her boyfriend in the city and said, "In everyone's home.

With the help, my stomach is getting bigger and bigger. ……"

After reading the letter, my boyfriend was puzzled and couldn't sleep all night, muttering to himself.

Whispered: "childhood friends, I didn't expect ..."

The next day, he came to his girlfriend's farm. He froze as soon as they met.

Look at her carefully. Because of the cold weather, she is wearing a thick cotton-padded coat and has a real figure.

Looks a little bloated. After a long time, he said stupefied, "Let's break up."

All right! "

"Break up? ! What does this mean? "

"What do you mean? ! You know it yourself! "

"Do you understand? What do I know? " She asked incredulously.

"In your belly, don't you get it?"

"What belly, say it again!"

"The belly is what you said in your letter, don't you forget?"

"oh! What I said in my letter is that my courage is growing. "

I hate asking this question.

Man: "Honey, how old are you?"

Woman: "I hate it when you ask that."

Man: "Why?"

Woman: "Nothing! Just like I asked you how much money you had in your wallet.

Sample! "

Love grave

There is a man who wants to end his long-distance love run for more than ten years and is happy.

The groom. After the auspicious day was set, he was idle and looked through the Gregorian calendar and found that

This day turned out to be "only suitable for burial", so he had to laugh at himself and say, "This is really called.

Marriage is the grave of love! "

Diplomatic temperament

Son: "Dad, what is a diplomat?"

Father: "A diplomat remembers his girlfriend's birthday, but forgets her age."

People. "

Worship the elderly

Ten days after the Chinese New Year, a young man forgot to give it to his daughter.

My friend wrote a love letter when he visited New Year. At the end of the letter, he wrote: "Good luck.

You have a happy old age! "

A butterfly in love with flowers

In summer, a pair of young men and women are madly in love, and the man is pointing to the strong.

The flower said, "Dear, you are as beautiful as this blooming flower."

The woman said, "Then I am a flower. What are you? "

The man said, "I am a butterfly with flowers!" " "

The woman said, "I don't like butterflies!" " "

The man said, "Why?"

The woman said unhappily, "Look, that butterfly has flown to the Chinese rose again."

Yes "

Eyes of love

A pair of lovestruck men and women meet. At the time of appointment, Gu.

Mother was very angry when she waited for the young man to arrive. In hindsight.

Tao, the young man delayed his appointment in order to see off a lost old woman.

Yes

When she got home, the girl cried sadly to her mother, "He just doesn't love you.

Love me, forget me for an old woman! "

The mother stroked her daughter's head and smiled and advised, "Silly child,

He can care so much about an old woman he doesn't know, and he can not love her in the future.

What about you? ! "

The more the better.

The young man wants to choose a new year card for his fiancee.

"That's right, very beautiful! It said, "The only thing for me.

Best wishes from my sweetheart! ""The salesgirl gave it to him.

An idea.

"That's great! Give me a dozen ... "

Let me do it.

In the shade of a tree, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it,

In the past, he said to the man, "You are so confused. You should give artificial respiration. "

Put her flat on the ground. Go away and let me do it. I am a doctor. "

Cupid

One day, Xiao Chen saw this sentence in his girlfriend's love letter.

Saying, "Cupid's arrow hit me ..." I couldn't help flying into a rage. he

I immediately found my girlfriend and asked, "Where did Cupid shoot you? this

Which unit is the boy from? I want to teach him a lesson! "

marry

The father and son had a fierce quarrel over their son's marriage.

At this time, the son's mother came in to stop the fight. The son took his mother,

Say, "Mom, I have never interfered in your marriage, but why should Dad interfere?"

Why do you always interfere in my marriage? ! "

Rear riots

A young couple stood quietly in front of the door. After a while, he was afraid.

"If I kiss you now, will you call your mother?" She asked.

She asked inexplicably, "What? Do you still want to kiss her? "

Enthusiastic you

A man asked after donating blood, "Is my blood warm?"

Really? "

The nurse nodded yes. The man added, "Give me a certificate."

Really? "

The nurse looked at him doubtfully. The man explained, "My girlfriend often scolds me.

I am a cold-blooded animal. I want to prove to her that I am not! "

Know the time.

The etiquette teacher of the YWCA teaches students how to make great contributions to their male partners.

A chance to concentrate. She said, "Sit still in the car and let him call you."

Open the door. "Then she added," but if he has left.

Don't wait until you enter the restaurant to order. "

The chemist proposed marriage.

The chemist wrote to his girlfriend: "I am oxygen atom O, and you are hydrogen."

Our union is as stable as water (H2O). "

Girlfriend wrote back: "Where's the other H?"

More hope

"I came to you to propose to your daughter." The young man said.

"Have you talked to my wife?" Father asked.

"Yes, but I prefer to marry your daughter."

Have no chance to have children

A young woman who was about to get married decided to give it a try at the last minute.

Explore her sweetheart. So, she chose a beautiful girlfriend

Although she knew it was an adventure, she said to her, "I'll arrange it tonight."

Jack takes you out-take a walk by the sea in the moonlight and enjoy a dragon meal.

Shrimp meal. To test his loyalty, I want you to ask him for a kiss. "

My girlfriend smiled and blushed and agreed. The dangerous plan began.

The next day, the lovestruck woman went to see her girlfriend and was extremely anxious.

Quietly asked, "Have you asked him?"

"No."

"No? Why not? "

"I don't have a chance. He asked me first. "

Play for real, pretend to do it

Jiali took her new boyfriend to her home and got home.

In her mouth, Belle said to her boyfriend, "You can kiss me now, but then I have to."

Give you a slap in the face because my father is looking out of the window. "

Selecting female teachers

A young man has three good girlfriends, one is a doctor,

One is a telephone operator, and the other is a teacher.

One day, the young man asked his mother which of them was suitable for the job.

His partner. The mother immediately replied: "My child, of course, is a female teacher."

Teacher! "

"Why?"

"It's not clear? Because doctors always say,' Next is it.

Telephone operators often say things like "please be brief".

Female teachers are different from them. She always said kindly, "I

Let's try again, we might as well try again, don't lose heart, we will succeed in the end.

Gong. "

Yang Biao

A: "Yesterday, my fiancee praised me in front of everyone."

B: "What did she praise you for?"

A: "She said I was good at solving problems. I won't wash my socks when they are dirty. I turned them over.

I wore it for another week. "

A shy man

A shy man will never have the courage to be with the woman he loves.

Love. Although she likes him very much, she often creates opportunities to make him look good.

Express his love, but he can't use all the machines she makes.

Yes

One night, he sat with her on a bench in the park. As usual, he

There's nothing to say. She couldn't help hinting at him: "They all talk like men."

The length of an arm is equal to a woman's waist. Do you believe it or not? "

"Is it true?" He replied? It's a pity that I didn't bring a rope.

Come and measure it. "

Good thing we haven't dated yet.

Man: "Hello, dear!" " "

Woman: "Excuse me, who are you?"

Man: "What do you think?"

Woman: "I can't see!" " "

Man: "Then who do you recognize?"

Woman: "I don't recognize it either."

Man: "Goodbye (put down the phone), deaf and blind. So is my cousin.

Yes, how to introduce such a person? It's a good thing we haven't dated yet. "

Mark what?

Man: "I dreamed last night that I proposed to you." You said this offer

What's your goal? "

Woman: "This shows that you are more emotional when you sleep than when you are awake."

jump

"Xiao Chen, tell me, what's the progress of your relationship with Lily?

Really? "

"No .. whenever I tell her that I love her, she quickly puts

Let's talk about marriage again "

elegant

Woman: "My boyfriend is a gentleman."

Girlfriend: "How is he?"

Woman: "When he kisses me, he always takes the cigarette away from his mouth."

Girlfriend: "..."

inner beauty

A young man dressed in fashion went to find a girlfriend. Nvpeng

Friends are disgusted with his affectation, neither male nor female, so they are dissatisfied.

He said, "I hate your external beauty and like your internal beauty."

Hearing this, the young man quickly unbuttoned his coat and pointed to the embroidery on his chest.

Danhua's green sweater said, "Look, it's beautiful in me, too."

Fish in troubled waters [fish in troubled waters]

A couple is traveling together. When the train they take passes for a long time.

When the tunnel came out, the man said, "If I had known the tunnel was so long,

I will give you a kiss! "

"My God!" The woman exclaimed, "It wasn't you who kissed me just now.

Really? "

Beware of being fooled

Qing Qing said to her mother, "Mom, I found Amin was really my choice."

Man, every time he hugs me, I can hear his heartbeat. "

Mother warned, "Look out! Your father used one in those days.

Pocket watch lied to me! "

I am no exception.

My girlfriend bought a new pen for her boyfriend. She tentatively asked, "Buy it!" "

Whose name will you write first with this pen? "

The boyfriend asked, "Do you want me to tell the truth?"

The girlfriend said, "Of course, to tell the truth."

The boyfriend replied, "97% of men try to write by themselves first."

My own name, and I am no exception. "

Cut and dry

A well-dressed young man came to a luxury hotel.

On entering the door, he handed the usher a shilling.

The usher weighed the shilling with his hand in confusion and said sarcastically, "Why?"

Yao, do you want to use this money to order food? "

The young man quickly explained, "No, no, I'll find an aunt to live with later."

Mom, please say to us loudly,' Today is full, please go somewhere else'.

Thank you! "

I am really in pain.

A young man and a young woman are strolling along the boulevard.

Woman: "We were shot by Cupid's arrow."

Man: "it doesn't matter if you shoot me, but I can't shoot you." As long as I'm here, of course

I can't let you get hurt. "

Woman: "I'm really hurt."

I'll die of heat.

Man: "honey, if I take a good look at your face, I will."

I'll buy you a pair of mink gloves; If you let me shake your hand, I will

I'll buy you a silver fox skin scarf; If I kiss you, I will.

Buy you an otter skin shawl; Ah, if I ... "

Woman: "Enough, enough! I will die of heat! "

Yuanyang

By the pool in the zoo, a young man is holding the girl's hand.

Said, "Let's live together forever like a pair of mandarin ducks, shall we?"

The girl replied regretfully, "Very well, but I haven't learned to swim yet."

So what! "

Pay attention to packaging when exporting.

My brothers and sisters are old enough to love beauty and are not interested in clothes.

Very particular. But my mother often buys new clothes for my sister and ignores my brother.

To this end, the younger brother was very unhappy and said that his mother was eccentric. Mom has her reasons.

Meat, said: "For export, we should pay special attention to packaging."

Andrew advertisement

one

"Are you my sweetheart? I've been in business for many years and I'm smart.

Very rich. Although he is forty years old, he is still young and handsome. Disadvantages, or

Xu is a little richer. I sincerely hope that women with beautiful and warm knots will not smoke.

Alcoholic, aged between 20 and 35. Please send it to me if you are interested.

Biography, with photos and phone calls. Note: Don't forget to attach it.

Zhao Yu! "

two

Twenty-two years old, virgin, flight attendant. Gentle and handsome.

Li Tong is reasonable and good at cooking. Once in contact, it will surprise you.

Surprise. Looking for an economically rich man, regardless of age or race, but he must

Treat people sincerely. I hope you can accompany me to go shopping in Paris and eat in Rome. such as

If he can attract me within three months after we meet, I will marry him. hope

Good luck and wait for good news. "

pure love

A pair of lovers snuggled up to each other. The man said, "Dear.

Dear, I want to dedicate all my pure love to you! "The woman listened to one leng,

Say, "Which one are you going to give to those impure ones?"

Find a husband

Introducer: "What do you think of each other?"

Young woman: "I have no idea about him."

Introducer: "Getting married is a big deal, you should think it over."

Young woman: "No! Anyway, I am looking for my husband's family. "

Not yet a master.

A young man went to XX University to see his girlfriend, and the doorman asked.

He filled in the visitor list. Name, gender, address, age ... until.

In the last column "relationship", I saw the young man think for a long time and fill in "Shang"

It didn't happen.

* * * Same language

Mom: "This young man is very beautiful, with a high salary and a good job, but you are different."

It means, what are you looking for? "

Daughter: "I want to find someone who speaks the same language."

Mom: "He is not a foreigner. How can he not have the same language? "

Words? "

Marriage advertisement

A farmer wanted to label his daughter's marriage "personals".

There will be a cow in the makeup. In order to save words, farmers put "marriage"

The number of words of "things" is reduced to a minimum. As a result, it was published in the newspaper and changed.

It goes like this: "The man who marries my daughter Emma will have a good cow!" " "

Obey mother's instruction.

Woman: "Mom always told me that no matter what you ask me before you get married.

Yao, I should answer' no'. "

Man (thinking): "Do you mind if I shake your hand?"

Woman: "No."

Man: "Don't you object to my kissing you?"

Woman: "No."

Man: "So, you won't refuse to have sex with us, will you?"

Woman: "No."

Man: "ah! Long live your mother! "

Serious problem

A young man and a young woman are sitting on a park bench, snuggling up to each other.

Gaze thoughtfully. After a long time, the girl whispered to her boyfriend:

"Angus, if you tell me what you are thinking, I will give you a hand.

Stone. "

The young man replied, "I was thinking, if you give me a small one."

Kiss, it's perfect. "

The girl blushed and kissed him. After a while, she added, "I ...

Spend another penny on what you think now, Angus. "

"This time I am thinking about a serious problem." The young man said.

"Is there a problem, Angus?" The girl asked shyly.

"I was thinking, now you should pay me that penny."

Know your heart

Man: "dear! Do you know my heart? "

Woman: "You have to know me before I can know your heart."

Heart, why ask more? "

Speak a foreign language

A young man who loves watching foreign movies decided to meet for the first time.

Show the art of speaking in front of your girlfriend. So, the young man said:

"Good morning, nice to meet you. You are so beautiful. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?

Coffee? "

The girlfriend said, "No, thanks. Let's eat western food!" " "

An incomprehensible letter

A girl went to a drugstore full of customers. She waited patiently.

She stayed until everyone bought the medicine and went out, then she approached the pharmacist.

Give him a letter and ask him to read it. She said, "This is my boyfriend.

From. He is a doctor, and only a pharmacist can read his handwriting. "

Professional instinct

A lady who works as a clerk in a department store speaks for the first time.

Love. After the first kiss with her boyfriend, she asked, "What else do you want?"

What? "

Are all the same color.

At the marriage agency.

"Young lady, do you like men with yellow hair or men with black hair?

People? "

"I want a man with red hair! You know, everything in my family.

The furniture is all red! "

In a remote mountainous area, a woman is naturally fond of showing off. Shortly after the marriage, her man went out to do business, and the woman was having an affair with her lover in the house. Halfway through, listening to the footsteps outside, the woman hurriedly put on her lover's sheepskin coat and hid in the backyard sheepfold. His man came back to pull a woman to have sex! -& gt； When the woman refused, the man was so hungry that he went to the backyard to catch a sheep. It happened that this sheep was faked by that woman's lover. After sex, the man went back to his room and got up in the middle of the night to catch sheep to vent. In the morning, the man got up, thinking back to last night, thinking that the sheep smelled, went to the backyard, grabbed the sheep and was about to act. The sheep suddenly stood up and said, "Are you fucking crazy? Am I the only sheep in the sheepfold? "

The female colleague of our unit went to the bank by bus yesterday, and there was a young woman dressed brightly in the bus. A pervert passed by and stood behind her, touching her back and forth. The woman was furious, turned around and swore: You squeeze J8! ! At this time, the car was quiet. Dull for a few seconds, the color man replied: 1 j8 was laughing in the car. Our colleague said that several boys wanted to help the girl, but they were all too happy. Then the pervert got off the bus as soon as he got to the station. Beauty, can you lend me a fruit knife? "

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to help you peel apples!"

Beauty, what time is it?

It's eleven fifteen.

It seems that our fate is good! My watch says 1 1 5.

Beauty! Please wait, please wait! (Brick in hand! ) Excuse me, did you drop this brick?

Watching TV series at home, I think the scene of proposing marriage is too romantic. Looking back at my boyfriend who was addicted to the game, I said, you should propose to me, too. He finally turned his eyes from the game to my face, thought for a moment and said, "I beg for mercy."

My boyfriend complains all day that I am too fierce. I retorted, where am I fierce? Besides, didn't you just fall in love with me? The boyfriend said, "How is that possible? Your breasts are so small! "

One day, I had a whim and decided to make a small pot of rice noodles for my boyfriend at home. Then I watched him eat happily and asked him, "Is it salty enough?" He said, "I haven't eaten salted eggs yet."

My boyfriend is much older than me. One day, I had a whim and asked him if he would choose me if he had met me a few years ago. He immediately replied: no, I am very upset and asked: Why? He rubbed his sleepy eyes and said, a few years ago, you were only a few years old. It is illegal to be with minors.

I like to coquetry with him every day and say, "husband, I love you."

My boyfriend thought about it and said, "I think so."

My boyfriend is a gourmet and often says to me, "I'll take you to eat whatever you like." One day I passed a seafood restaurant, and my boyfriend said, "Hey, you don't like seafood." I'm wondering if I should say it or take you to eat often. As a result, people said, "Otherwise, my wallet will be killed."