Super Wonderful Humorous Self-introduction _ Humorous Personal Introduction (2)

Super Wonderful Humor Self-introduction Chapter 4

I was born twice.

The first time, a doctor pulled me out of the womb and suddenly fainted. A nurse closed her eyes and fumbled to shove me back?

After the second birth, everyone in the hospital hid in the morgue and cried. The dean slapped himself in the mouth and blamed himself for being as blind as a bat and should not be greedy for my business?

Motherly love is great. She didn't abandon me and raised me, but he posted a picture of a skeleton on my face to relieve my psychological pressure. The mask accompanied me until I was ten years old.

At the age of eleven, when I was in the third grade, the whole class was the most curious and desperately wanted to see what I looked like behind the mask. A classmate named Li Dadan tore off my mask when I peed. From then on, Li Dadan got a strange disease, unable to speak, with dull eyes, doing nothing all day, killing people without blinking, and crying as soon as he closed his eyes?

The headmaster reported to the education bureau, and the education bureau sent someone. Because all the students have transferred to another school, the principal can only eat half a bowl of porridge every morning, and the teacher's salary has not been settled for two months?

When people from the Education Bureau saw me, the director immediately resigned and went to sea, which triggered a chain reaction and educational institutions all over the country were dissolved?

I was walking in the street, and people on the roadside were vomiting wildly. A group of * rushed in front of me from behind, scrambling to put red flowers on me, give me trophies and certificates, which read: * Savior.

Next door, Pockmarked Liu's daughter-in-law wants to brag to him that his pockmarked face is disgusting and she has to leave! ! ! It happened that I went to their window. As soon as Pockmarked Liu's wife saw me, she stopped talking and took out money to the insurance company to insure Pockmarked Liu. Ten thousand for a pockmarked man?

Also alarmed the United Nations (? Why do you want to say it again), Annan was at his wit's end and asked me to have plastic surgery, but it didn't work. All plastic surgeons cried when they saw me. Nearly half of the doctors went to a mental hospital with the same symptoms, but said nothing except one sentence: ugly? The ugliest?

Arafat sent a special plane to pick me up and asked me to stand at the gate of the presidential palace to resist the siege of the Israeli army. I stood there for a minute and Sharon was forced to resign. The whole country of Palestine was jubilant, but when Arafat wanted to introduce me as a national hero, the people of Palestine couldn't find me with lanterns?

A writer came to me with tears in his eyes: When I was so old, my biggest dream was to get a Nobel Prize in Literature. Now the master is too powerful? I have a unique skill. As long as I can write a book in front of you, I will definitely win the prize! ! !

I don't believe it. He stayed with me for a week and wrote a five-million-word novel, Seven Days in Hell. As a result, he even won the Nobel Prize in Medicine?

Nobel headquarters announced that if we can find words to describe my face in the world, we will win the literature prize. As a result, all writers switched to buying meat, and Nobel Prize in Literature disappeared from the scene?

The National Football Association specially recruited me to join the team, hoping to really rush out of Asia. In the World Cup, China didn't concede a goal, and every game was 12:0. After playing football, we had a picnic on the lawn. I was alone in front of the goal BBQ, and the opposing players, including the goalkeeper, vomited on the ground, and the referee even pulled out a red card.

Of course, our players are also trained by the devil step by step. Look at my photos first, then look at my photos of eating, and then play football?

The World Cup will stay in China forever, and foreign media commented that I am the incarnation of the devil.

At the beginning of the world lying contest, players of all races boasted for the first time. I went on stage, won the championship in only three words, and kept the title forever. I said, am I not ugly? .

I cried at night, looked at the moon and asked softly, me, is it nice? A white object landed gently on the moon. I picked it up and saw that it was a white rabbit trampled to death by Jiuyin's white bone claw.

I shouted at the sky: God, am I the ugliest?

The sky suddenly began to rain cats and dogs and fell on me. I touched it and it was all vomit?

I left this world and came to this ancient castle. I asked the mirror: mirror, mirror, who is the ugliest in the world? The mirror burst into tears and committed suicide?

God forbid, why did you give birth to me?

I held a grudge and finally got depressed. Who knows, the terrible person gave me an Amnesty and let me go back to earth?

So I wandered around the world, having nothing to do, playing online, and I wanted to chat, so I applied for a QQ number. Who knows? System prompt: because of your disgusting face (please forgive me, my literary level is not high, I can only explain this), our company will not provide you with the number even if I die?

I wonder if I can send this thing.

Super Wonderful Humor Self-introduction Chapter 5

I am happy, but I am lonely.

I am gregarious, but I am lonely.

I am humorous, but I am depressed.

I've been trying to treat pain as a dimple.

Wearing jeans and a tennis hat.

Those who don't know me define me as a deep but impure person, a person who thinks like a mechanical bite, and what rules me is calm, cold and a little dull. All the dull brains on this planet are perfectly integrated, oh, and perfect. I am very satisfied. Half the people who know me say that I am unpredictable, just like the wind in the south of the Yangtze River in May, which is warm but a little wriggling. I can feel it, but I can't catch it. I just want to entrust a multinational company to make a top-class bag and send me in like a gust of wind, but I often miss it above, but I can't cover it below. Say I'm frank, but at the same time, I'm as vague, confused and have no common sense as Greater China. I often try to help me shuffle the cards, but such people often don't wash their hands. People who know me appreciate my sincerity, sincerity, simplicity, love and caring, although sometimes my mother-in-law is not much better than the old woman who has filled her teeth. When she is bored and nervous, she talks like an old ox pulling a broken car in an old almanac. Although it is broken, it is full of charm. However, this period of time is generally within the tolerance of ordinary people.

He thinks I'm a friend, loyal and capable. Always accompany me to drink in the dark and windy night. If I were at the seaside, it would be a scene of high waves. But I often take sprite and white wine for chemical reaction. I really can't drink when all he sees is the wine glass. It was the mountains and rivers that raised me, not the wine that did this job. This is for boys. I am cute enough for girls, but I am not as cute as an angel. I am romantic enough, but I can't write a love script like Shakespeare. Petty bourgeoisie has a strong emotional appeal. I often write small poems and essays, but I am careless and ambiguous, which makes her understand me and hate me. Love and hate are intertwined in my heart? Sanduo? Versatile and affectionate (cheeky three thousands of feet) I am a high-risk, high-input and high-return investment place. Someone who knows me completely, sorry, not yet. Will this passage be wonderful? Who cares? Let's do it first. Single aristocrat? Besides, because it's a matter of fate, because she will be the angel of my life.

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