Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Almanac inquiry - Big talk "following the ceremony"

Big talk "following the ceremony"

Write in front: Accompanying gifts is also called following staff, and collecting money. In social communication, people's emotional communication has different ways, and courtesy is one of them. But with the evolution of the broken particles, the broken particles changed their taste! It makes people feel that the accompanying ceremony is not to enhance friendship and emotion, but like a transaction.

What is life? Life is busy and in a hurry. What is life? Life is the interaction between people-indifference, hatred, dullness, enthusiasm or rebellion ... Life has no eternal enemies, but there are always inevitable contacts-

What is life? Life is busy and in a hurry.

What is life? Life is the interaction between people-or indifference, or hatred, or bland, or enthusiasm, or perseverance. ...

There are no eternal enemies in life, but there are always inevitable contacts-mutual help, friendship for help, friendship between gentlemen who want nothing, friendship between relatives and lovers ... and so on. No one can bypass it, because life without communication is almost impossible. It's just a matter of depth and distance. The so-called one fence with three piles and one hero with three gangs is the truth. Friendship of mutual assistance, friendship of asking for help, friendship of a gentleman who wants nothing, friendship of a close relative and a beloved family. ...

And so on, no one can bypass it, because life without communication is almost impossible. It's just a matter of depth and distance. The so-called one fence with three piles and one hero with three gangs is the truth.

The process of communication with people is actually a process of reciprocity. Courtesy is the most popular form of "reciprocity" in China. Greetings and sending, weddings and funerals, weddings and funerals have penetrated into everyone's family life.

There is such a joke about the ceremony, a man trapped by the ceremony asked the master for advice-

"Master, I want to go bankrupt with the ceremony. Please give some advice? "

The master pointed to the almanac.

"Do you want me to pick a day to hold a banquet to earn it back?"

The master shook his head: "Turn off the phone when you see a good day."

Although it is a joke, it tells the helplessness of many people in the face of the ceremony. Friendship is thick and thin, relations are good and bad, and there are also active and passive points along with the ceremony.

It is willing to give gifts to people with good relationships, and there are many gifts. If that person does something quietly and doesn't tell you, you are just kept in the dark (this is very unlikely). Once you hear this letter, you are sure to have some heartfelt accusations and complaints. "Look down on people", "Don't treat me as a friend", "I won't tell you anything else" and so on. You will be more ruthless than one sentence like a machine gun until that person apologizes to you and you make up the gift money. This is the highest state of courtesy, and the person who gets this courtesy is the truest friendship and closest feelings with you.

Between initiative and passivity, people who accompany the ceremony are often people who can talk about their temper, but have never worked together and have contacts but are not too deep. Whether you receive a post or hear news from other places, you will go to join us, of course, the gift money will be less. If I didn't get the news at that time and missed the gift, there would be whispers like "my buddies are not enough" and "I'm afraid I'll drink" when we met, but most of them were diplomatic words, half joking and half serious, and the tone would not be as heavy as above, nor would I insist on making up the gift.

Passive politeness often occurs between colleagues in the unit or between people who have met several times but are not friends. It is better to have fewer people in a small unit, even if you follow everything, it will not hurt your vitality. It is really unbearable for a large unit with hundreds of people to ask for it. Low wages are basically not enough to eat high-priced meals in January. So, there is a question of choice. The same line must follow; It is not a department, but it is closely related to work at ordinary times and must be followed; If you are a leader, the department in charge of you should follow suit. If you don't take charge, your relationship is not close, and you are entrusted with the important task of "presiding" or "witnessing", you can't return empty-handed. If you don't follow these relationships, it will be awkward to meet. If you save some money, you will lose face. You always feel that you owe others a lot.

It's just a normal colleague relationship. Nod when you meet. I haven't contacted for many years, or I have had a few fair-weather friends outside the unit occasionally. Even if we receive the invitation, we are in the mood to go or not. Because now in various units, carrying big bags of wedding candy and holding thick invitations can be seen everywhere. The inviter usually casts a net, focusing on fishing, and may not believe that you will definitely go. It is not surprising that many people don't go to the ceremony, and there is no shame in not going. It can be said that there are not many of you, not as many as you.

The lower level has the initiative to follow the higher level to give gifts, and the gift money is high. Most of them have received good intentions, or are going to ask others for help, which is a bit suspected of accepting bribes in disguise; If you are passive, don't go. I'm worried that my colleagues will have little shoes if they go alone. Go ahead, it's not what you want. Between choices, it is the most worrying.

Nowadays, the ritual wind is getting worse and worse, and it has fallen into an endless cycle. Some people are unwilling to hold banquets because of weddings and funerals. Because they have given gifts to others before, there is no obvious "loss", so they also make a big fuss about the psychology of turning over books. I accepted the gift this time, but I owe more favor, and I must repay it at that time. Some people who miss the big event of getting married and having children have also come up with many tricks of "turning over books", such as moving to a new home, giving birthdays to the elderly, and letting their children go to college. And began to put on a big banquet, spread invitations widely, and never gave up.

Xiao Shenyang said: "One day will pass with your eyes open"; The biggest regret in life is that money is not spent when people die. Changed to "cottage with the ceremony version", that is: open your eyes and close your eyes, hundreds of pieces are gone; The biggest regret in life is that the gift went out with you, but the money didn't come back.