Those invincible evil spirits are funny. Tell me about 202 1.

1, if you live a miserable life, I will laugh wildly.

2. deskmate I really envy you having such a good deskmate as me. This is really a blessing for my predecessors.

I bought a bag of Oreos and learned to twist my waist on TV. Can't I wipe it off at all?

I was afraid of the dark since I was a child, and I didn't study well when I was a child because I didn't dare to look at the blackboard.

Some people pay for things, and some people hold umbrellas when it rains. Even an argument is romantic.

6. I used to think that people with high qq level were awesome, but now I find that the more people bask in the sun, the older they get.

7. Some people say that if I fall in love, my IQ will go to zero. I fell in love with my homework, didn't I?

8. Time is like running water, which flows slowly and then converges in time.

9. Love is like glass, it will break when someone taps it lightly.

10, local tyrant Since we are friends, let's send a local gold mobile phone.

1 1. If I can't have the beauty of heaven, then let me go to your world.

12, I want to make money hard and buy an ATM in the future.

13. If you see a man dragging his underwear outside, don't be afraid. Maybe he really is Superman.

14, who said that women are narrow-minded? A woman is not narrow-minded, but a man takes her heart away.

15, how time flies. You will become an old man in the blink of an eye.

16, I want to eat all the soy sauce in the world and make others jealous.

17. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first.

18, when the goods have a shelf life and people are tired of watching them, how long can you be awesome in my heart?

19, getting fat is not my fault, but your fault, which always makes me angry.

20. Sorry, the number you dialed is married. Please delete it so that you don't have to contact me in the future.

2 1, I must live with you. If I were not your wife, I would be your stepmother.

22. Money is a piece of paper if it is not spent, and money if it is spent.

23. I struggle with two things every day. I don't want to sleep at night and I don't want to wake up during the day.

24. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it finally kills students.

25. They all say that I am naughty and have ADHD, but I think I am the most naughty one.

26. Meeting strangers is really troublesome. Many lies should be told again.

27. Student: There is no limit to learning. If you want to use it, use Noah's Ark.

28, this year, whether Sohu or sogou, cats just don't understand.

29, if the apple tree can really bear an iphone, it would be great.

The rule of success is to read more books, read more newspapers, eat less snacks and sleep more.

3 1. Draw a circle. The people inside are murderers.

Every time I see a man dawdling, chattering and sloppy, my sister wants to slap him.

33. I skipped classes too much. I want to go to class today. When I met my teacher, the teacher was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for a long time. I have grown so big.

34, live like a hero, you can really win the beauty, it takes a long time to cultivate a hero's heart.

Only a bright future is suitable for an upper-class person like you.

Even if you know what I'm thinking, it doesn't mean you really know me.

37. It's cool to hit a tree by bike.

38. My greatest advantage is that I can't talk to you without telling you a story.

Please leave my love and leave my world non-stop.

40. If you are scum, you will never be a schoolmaster; If you are weak, you will never be strong.

4 1, I knew your sister's heart had changed, and finally I talked about TM's love?

42. Don't look at me, I am invincible. Actually, I was shot in the heart.

Leave my sight with your arrogant attitude.

44. I'm talking about love that won't break up when men are no longer interested.

45. Give up loving you and keep digging for people who can find me good.

46. Sorry, I have my happiness and don't want to be your spare tire.

47. Don't say you can't bear to part, just say goodbye neatly.

48. I want to give you all my happiness, but you don't want to bear it yourself.

49. Either you always love me or you leave me as soon as possible.

Girl, don't cry easily. Are your tears tap water?

Talk about it modestly and interestingly.

1, the disease comes from the mouth, and the disaster comes from the mouth, so it is safest to shut up.

2. People have four states: busy, very busy, very busy and unhurried.

When you think that the person you like likes you, you usually think too much.

4. Eggs break food from the outside and life from the inside.

It is better to eat in the supermarket before the end of the day.

The person I secretly loved changed his hairstyle yesterday, and I suddenly felt that I had changed my mind.

As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman.

8, laugh for ten years, then laugh wrinkles.

9. Three laws of the workplace; : either bear it! Either work hard! Or go out.

10, friendship is like a vase, it will break when it is smashed.

1 1, I connected all my memories into a movie, and a tragedy happened.

The Smurfs sang to Avatar, "When I grow up, I will be you".

13, chased a bus to the terminal in the morning.

14. Either you don't work hard or you don't work hard.

15, dreams can't be measured by money, otherwise your dreams will depreciate.

16, this book is particularly good, so I have been reluctant to read it.

17, although giving up won't kill you, you will never give up when you die.

18, you must be born well, get old slowly, get sick late and die quickly.

19, you are a thick-skinned person and say that you treat people well.

20, family affairs, state affairs in the world, no money to eat is a big deal.

2 1, I am a person, and you are not me, so you are not a person.

You can't eat as a meal, but I'm full as soon as I see you.

23. Why do you feel sleepy when reading? Because books are the place where dreams begin.

24. That year, Aoi sora was still a virgin and didn't have a camera.

25. People lose weight, waist and buttocks. Why do we have to start with brain cells?

26. I asked God: How to be happy at the same time about forget the sorrow. God replied: Drive yourself crazy.

27, shameless this matter, if done well, is called excellent psychological quality.

Since I bought insurance, I don't even look at traffic lights when I walk.

China Mobile and China Unicom are husband and wife. Gave birth to a child named China Telecom.

30. When money stood up and spoke, all truths fell asleep.

3 1, Laozi is my son's passport, and my son is my epitaph.

32. I only have eyes for you. Okay ... so I'm just an eyedropper.

33. Tea is really pitiful. If you soak it, praise it. If you soak it, throw it away.

34. When there is no money, there are a group of friends; When you have money, there will be a group of bodyguards. ...

35. Life is like a pancake. You have to turn it over several times before it matures.

36. Young people don't work hard. The boss does his homework.

37. Hold your hand. If the child doesn't go, knock the child out and continue dragging.

38. Dinosaurs all died in the last doomsday; So I'm worried about you this time.

39. Others speak the truth after drinking, but I only vomit food after drinking.

40. Metal detectors are not only used for safety inspection, but also used by some people to pick up garbage.

4 1, what if the world ends? Suicide. Why? Go down and sit down for a while.

42. How many people's reputations have been ruined by so-called good friends?

43. A good girlfriend can save 200G hard disk for your computer.

44. the Monkey King is so fickle that she is destined to be single.

45. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. If you owe money, you must pay it back.

46. It is said that cutting a flat head is proud all your life, so is it smart to cut a pig's head all your life?

How many people in the world owe you money? It makes you look dead every day, not buried.

The meanest and funniest words about Daquan.

The meanest and funniest words about Daquan.

1. My son will be a small leader in a certain department after graduation. Accustomed to leadership, the father said, "Do you know what is the most important thing now?" ? The son wanted to think, of course, to establish prestige. . . . . Father nodded and obeyed! Who knows that my son continues to say that WeChat, qq group and circle of friends should be built, and everyone should have fun together!

It's very hot today. An old man is crossing the road. The old man stood up just as a car came and knocked him down. Passers-by praised him in succession, saying that his quality is good and there is nothing wrong! For example! The old man couldn't stand it, and said loudly, don't play there, you'll burn your fucking ass! Sit down and try!

Manager, starting from today, your monthly salary will increase to 5000 yuan! Employee A: Yes, long live the manager! Employee B, the manager, is it because of the welfare of our company? Manager, no, because today is April Fool's Day! !

My mother wants to buy clothes for my daughter. I didn't want my mother to spend money, so I kept stopping her. My daughter can't take it anymore. She took me aside and scolded me. Look, your mother is very angry. Why don't you listen to your mother? Your hair has turned you white. If grandma wants to buy it for me, you can buy it.

I have a 6-year-old son. I went to the training class yesterday afternoon, but I couldn't find him. I'm worried about our family. Is my son lost? In the end, I had no choice but to call the police. My wife wandered to the neighbor's house crying. Suddenly she heard someone whispering in the bedroom and found her son after entering the room. that this is not the important question. The point is that he slept naked with his neighbor's 7-year-old daughter. I have to say, son, you have a bright future! ! I'm proud of you.

6. When I took a fake fifty-dollar bill to the toy store to pay for a plane, I handed 50 yuan money to the cashier and said it was fake. I didn't like it then. It sounds like your plane is real.

7. My cousin came to see me and had dinner with them. During the dinner, the two showed their love. Brother-in-law, Daniel Wu or Takeshi Kaneshiro, which do you think is more handsome? Sister, huh? Aren't you in the options? My brother-in-law looks shy, so who is the most handsome, Daniel Wu, Takeshi Kaneshiro or me? ~ Sister Daniel Wu.

8. Have you installed satellite positioning or electronic tracking? Beauty, I began to avoid you 50 meters away! You're driving in the wrong direction! I hid from you and took it to the grass! You still hit so accurately! Fortunately, you are an electric car. If you change to four wheels, I will be in the crematorium!

9. A relative at home introduced an object, and the photo was sent directly to my mother's mobile phone. She refused, and told me three days ago that the reason for her refusal was that she was too thin and her breasts were too big to look good. Now I want to know what procedures are needed to sever the mother-child relationship, and wait online. It's urgent !

10, several buddies took their female friends to the playground to play. When we arrived at the haunted house, we shouted at the ghost in order not to lose face in front of our female friends. Later, when we went to play again, we saw that the last item of the travel instructions next to the door was conspicuously added with a red pen, and it was forbidden to scare ghosts.

1 1, Zhengzhou (four people) on business. Today, I returned to Shenyang. When I walked out of the hotel, I couldn't get a taxi. In desperation, I took four motorcycles (electric cars) to the subway station. After getting off the bus to pay, I was delayed at the subway entrance for a while. Five minutes later, one of the motorcycles came back and sent back the suitcase we forgot to take with us. I've always heard that people in Henan are very bad.

12, Wuhan was flooded by rain. A colleague of mine had a big fight with his wife. Do you know why? His daughter-in-law called him and said that it was raining heavily and the road was flooded, so he couldn't go back. The little friend was anxious when he heard it, and immediately said, be careful, don't drop your mobile phone in the water.

13, damn it, I lent my bike that cost more than 500 yuan to others a few days later and said it was stolen. I made a polite remark and stole it, and then there was no sound. The point is that his family is rich and my family is poor. I really don't know what these people think. They are happy to take advantage.

14, my husband is working outside. He should be back around 10, but he suddenly came back the next day. I asked him, why did you come back from so far away? He said affectionately, "I came all the way back to see you!" " As a result, he really only looked at me, and then took his mobile phone to see it!

15, call your wife. My two-and-a-half-year-old daughter replied. Hello, daughter! Who are you? I heard my daughter's voice say, I am your father's daughter. Oh! You call your father. I said put your mother on the phone. I only heard my daughter shouting and my mother answered the phone. The wife asked who she was. The daughter replied: Your father. The wife came to answer the phone while reprimanding. The child didn't even call grandpa. Take the phone and say to me, dad! what's up

16. Today, my wife asked me why I bought insurance for myself instead of for her! I said I have a guarantee for your future! In case I die, the insurance company will pay you and your son a lot of money! She called me selfish! What if I'm not dead? All right! You are so cruel! I wish myself a long life.

17, at work, a colleague answered the phone. It's his four-year-old son (the child had a good time in his hometown after the holiday). Dad, don't come back. I will be in a bad mood as soon as you come back, so don't come back and don't call me in the future. Colleagues smiled and said, well, dad will pick you up when school starts.

18, a university announced on the cat's paw that it would build a world-class university, but it was turned into a world rogue university because of careless typing. Seven days later, I found the mistake, but no one corrected it. They all liked the post!

19, I didn't know how to talk about flat chest last night, and then we discussed what flat chest is. Suddenly, a roommate resolutely said get out of the way. I'll take off my bra and show you what a flat chest is!

20. My brother found that the landlord relied heavily on the yellow calendar and asked him, why do you want to see the yellow calendar? Because following the yellow calendar can make people lucky. Later, my brother followed my example. As a result, on a day in the Gregorian calendar, it is said that water should not be discharged. He hasn't peed all day, lying in bed sweating, brother! Avoid water in the yellow calendar not to prevent you from peeing! Mom, please listen to me!

2 1, chatting with a friend, he said, "My dad asked me to go back to raise cattle and bought four or five hundred cows to let me go home to raise them. I said, yes, your family is quite rich. If a Niu Yi head is $10,000, then four or five hundred heads are $45 million. I didn't see it. He paused and said, "I'm talking about snails. " .。

22. Now it is said that post-70s and post-80s are not easy to get along with. In fact, the hardest thing is that we are born after 90. We don't have much experience after 80s, no savings after 70s and no experience after 60s, but we are burdened with high prices and housing prices. We have to pretend to be grandchildren for work, so we can't live fast. Be in a bad mood, complain

23. There is a three-year-old girl watching TV at home. She is eating seaweed. When she saw it, she ate it with her. She didn't object. After a while, she burst into tears. You ate all my seaweed and lost it. You pay for this! Mother is so poor that she can't afford the money. Hey, the little guy stopped crying and turned off the sofa. He grabbed her father and said loudly that your husband has money to buy seaweed and let him pay for you.

The head teacher asked us to write a composition independently. Hall deskmate wrote in the latest episode of our favorite Super Cavalry at that time! Change the names of the characters in it to me and several neighboring tables. But this composition was praised by the class teacher in public the next day! It's good anyway. The climax came, and the class teacher asked the deskmate to read the composition aloud on the podium. Except some female students, all the male students below us laughed.

25. In the breakfast shop, I found that the next table was a neighbor of a community. Because I didn't have enough money on me, I had to eat slowly. I was going to pay the bill first or help me after he finished eating. Two hours later, he couldn't help coming up to me and saying, why don't we give it to each other? I don't have enough money.

26. Today, the girl ticket is cooking, and I am cleaning up the dishes. The female ticket tasted the food she cooked and said with intoxication: The fried food is really delicious! I said something, when dogs eat incense, they will think, incense is delicious! I suddenly feel cold and wooshing in my back.

27. Hello everyone, I just saw a warm reminder that the April Fool's Day confession is simply weak. Tomb-Sweeping Day's confession is king, because in case of rejection, you can say that you are embarrassed and just possessed.

28. On April Fool's Day, the aunt of the boarding apartment stormed into the classmate's dormitory and said, "Are there two men hiding in your dormitory?" Everyone in the dormitory was very angry, and one of the women said fiercely, "How can two men feed six of us?"

My neighbor keeps two rabbits in the yard, and my daughter likes them very much. Every day, I go to see rabbits, feed them leaves and sing children's songs of rabbits. On this day, my daughter dragged me to see the rabbit with her and asked me why my mother and funny face next door didn't see the rabbit. I said, sweet sister is too busy to see rabbits. The daughter went on to say, "If you don't look at rabbits, why keep rabbits?"

When I was young, I went to my uncle's house to play. A rooster likes me very much and plays well with me. When my uncle saw me playing with a rooster, he asked me if I wanted to eat a rooster. At that time, I was too young to hear clearly. I thought my uncle would give it to me, so I agreed happily. In the evening, the rooster went to the pot. I cried for a long time with chicken bones in my arms.

3 1, a buddy talked about a girlfriend, who was his father's former lover. Sadly, her mother also took someone to beat her. What's more tragic is that my buddy didn't know about it and took her to see her parents. At that time, at the scene,

32. accompany my daughter to have a check-up. After the results came out, we asked by the way whether it was a boy or a girl. The doctor is not sure. My best friend also asked me why I was not sure. I took her away. People told you the answer. Why do you ask?

33. Sister, why is there a boy standing in the ladies' room in your hotel to pee? Sister, shh, keep your voice down. This is the secret of our hotel! Sister, please tell me! Sister Korean stars often come to our hotel ~ ~ ~

34. The patient said to the dentist, "You really make money. You won $65,438+00 in just three seconds. The doctor replied, I can pull it out for you in slow motion if you like.

35. I felt a little sleepy when driving, so I pulled over to take a nap. Unexpectedly, just after I closed my eyes, a cold voice came from the co-pilot. Do you want to pass the road test?

36. When you go to tattoo, ask the tattoo master what is more domineering, which makes people stay away from it! The tattoo artist introduced me to classic tattoos such as dragon, tiger, wolf and leopard. Finally, I thought about it and said to him, give me a national road! Let them know I'm in the street, too

37. When I went out to play with my friends and passed a barber shop, I wanted to get a haircut. It's very hot in summer, so I say I have a crew cut. After washing my hair, the barber stood behind me, looked at me in the mirror and said seriously, why does this young man have such long hair but a flat head? Tell me something you can't forget. I was in a mess in an instant.

38. During class, a classmate was secretly playing with his mobile phone. After I looked at my classmate for a while, we fixed our eyes on that classmate's mobile phone together. When his mobile phone was taken away by the teacher, we silently withdrew our eyes.

39. In Chinese class, when the teacher saw Xiaogang was sleepy, he said to Xiaogang, "Xiaogang, what is the next sentence of three thousand harem beauties?" Xiao Gang stood up with a red face and half shouted and replied, "Iron bars will also be ground into needles!" " The whole class burst into laughter.

40. A friend from the city went to my hometown to play. Seeing the sheep dung ball on the roadside, he said with emotion, "You country people are really wasting. Isn't this peanut skin just a black spot? It's everywhere! I laughed, it was accidentally fried when it was fried!

4 1, I quarreled with my father, so I called my father on my grandfather's mobile phone. Hello after connecting! Dad, then I secretly replied, hey! Son. Forget it. The doctor called me.

42. My friend asked me who is the boss in your family, your father, your mother or you? I shook my head. There is no boss in my family. He said enviously, "Your family is really democratic, and my mother is the boss and overbearing." . I took a sip of water and then said, "My mother forbids us to mention old words in front of her, so my father and I usually call her a respectable leader." .

43. My uncle has a big licensed truck in Tianjin, which he bought in the 1990s. He has been driving with him for a long time. Once he drove to work, he turned left and waited for the red light. When the green light came on, he began to hit the direction. With a hard press, the steering wheel lost its left turn signal for a short time. In the rage of the car behind, my uncle calmly took the square plate out of the window, and the world was quiet in an instant.

44. In class, I secretly kissed the little girl at the same table. My little girl stared at me coldly and said, "Students, please stay focused." I was shocked! Then he kissed me happily.

45. I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner today. The young couple at the next table are showing their love. I saw that man just fed the woman a mouthful of rice. The woman asked me dear, who else have you fed besides me? To be honest, the man thought for a while and said dog with trepidation. . . I sprayed rice in an instant

Boys' Evil Charm Talk about Cold Character

1, use anger to cover up sincerity, use stupidity to cover up wisdom, and use superficial gentleness to cover up the unruly in the bones. ...

Actually, I don't want to have you, but I am attracted by your smile.

3. A man with a good temper is particularly attractive.

4. A person is like a coin, with 1 in front and chrysanthemums behind.

If I have to die, I will take the darkness as my bride and hug it in my arms.

6. Life is too short to eat, drink and be merry. A hundred years is too long. We can't seize the day.

7. In this world, do nothing or do your best.

8. I'm not so much a playboy as you can't catch my heart.

I won't tell you if you kill me. You haven't done a honey trap yet!

10, brothers scattered in the past, fame and fortune have long been bearish. I love and hate glory, and I have no intention of fighting again.

1 1. Although I like her very much, I never told her, because I know that what I can't get is always the best.

12, I like to help others, especially girls.

13 Men's eyes lie.

14, the wind blows and the water cools, and the strong man beats the dog, which is gone forever.

15, bullshit, they said it was love. I heard it and smelled it, but no one saw it.

16, I drove my mother on a motorcycle and slammed the accelerator to shout safety first. As a result, I was beaten by my mother.

17, I generally don't love people, I don't love ordinary people, I love people very much.

18, if 1 million people love me and 100 million people hate me; I will repay the former with actions and convince the latter!

19, boss, give me a beautiful haircut. I want to run with the bull.

20. Women are like clothes, but pay attention. Sometimes women are underwear, more likely prison clothes.

2 1. I smoked all my life and burned my hands all my life. Drinking wine for a lifetime will make you ugly for a lifetime.

22. My ex-girlfriend is my friend. Can I add my ex-boyfriend back as a friend?

23. In the workplace, I should, like Conan, have a domineering attitude of letting others die wherever I go.

Brother, your home is here. No matter what you do, your buddy is waiting for you.

25, brothers are the sky, brothers are the earth, and more brothers can stand tall.

26. Ask your brother how long he will do it and how long his heartbeat will last.

27, the old woman is the man of this world, don't fall in love with a bitch.

28, an idle person, indifferent love.

29, it's cold, hold your hand tightly, don't let any man walk into your heart, only me.

30. Why should the best people be called extinct people? Even if he has no seeds, he can still be considered a man.

3 1, if I am a woman in the next life! I will definitely marry a man like me!

32, a man, with cigarettes, with wine, there will be a story.

33. It is said that men are colored. In fact, women are not much better, but men are obviously colored and women are introverted.

34. Women are heartless, so why should men be affectionate?

35. Women are tools to make human beings, while men are human beings who use tools.

36. A man, even if he is rebellious and free when he is young, will try to be a woman sooner or later.

37. The rich have a loud voice, but the wives of the poor have a loud voice.

38. Every successful person has a fast broadcast on his computer.

39. Don't fall in love with a bitch.

40. It is difficult to be a man, a woman, a man and a good person. It is better to be a child.

4 1. Behind a successful man, there is always a woman who loves him.

42. Men don't rely on handsome, they all rely on demeanor.

43. A man can suffer all his life, but he will never suffer the woman who will accompany you all his life.

44. Once a woman is heartless, she is more destructive than men.

45. People have gold under their knees. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

46. A man can use his life to hurt a woman. What do you use to hurt a person?

47. The ancients said: Men have gold under their knees, and I have enough hair under my knees.

48. Russia's responsibility is to be the person in front of you.

Remember, a woman and a husband will not let you suffer.

50. Women should support men. Give your body at any time.