Do you remember your first love in those years?

Do you remember your first love? I remember, from 2009 to 20 17, I remembered him for eight years. I met him on QQ. At that time, I was sixteen years old, eager for love, and I was loved and protected by the hero like the heroine in the TV series. He 175, thin, with a pair of black-rimmed glasses and long hair. He looks like the hero in a Korean drama, and the sunshine is charming. I wrote him a letter of several thousand words, introducing myself completely, from childhood to senior one at that time, from personality and temper to hobbies. He replied, don't trust anyone, including him. But at that time, I couldn't listen to anything and felt surrounded by happiness. Why first love is so unforgettable may be because it is the purest, purest and most beautiful. For the first time, I have someone I can care about. For the first time, I have someone who can make me pay for it. For the first time, I said "I love you" from my heart. For the first time, I will become silly, sensitive and suspicious because someone is in a bad mood and writes a long emotional speech. I want to do a lot of romantic things with a person for the first time.

I remember he gave me a rhubarb dog doll 1.3 meters long. Now that all the broken cotton is out, I still have it. He gave me a box of chocolates, which may be the sweetest chocolate I have ever eaten. Chocolate should be a standard for couples. He gave me a heart-shaped spoon. Once I wanted to make a super mini pendant and hang it around my neck like a spoon, but I couldn't find a craftsman who could do it. He gave me a pair of heart-shaped earrings, which I have never worn except trying them on. This is the most embarrassing, because the earrings are so ugly.

This is all I can think of that he has done for me. Just a little bit, made me miss him for eight years. This is the magic of first love. At that time, I changed schools and paid 2000 yuan for choosing schools, saying that I would get them back as long as my grades were good. One day he said he wanted to buy a laptop, and I almost lost money. I worked hard and finally got back the 2000 school selection fee and lent it to him without hesitation. I only have him in my heart, and I can't wait to give him everything I can. It feels great. He is the person I am destined to be in my life. However, a year later, like most people's first love, he dumped me, deleted QQ, changed his phone, and there was no news. If someone proudly tells me now, you see, this is my first love with my husband (wife), and I will not hesitate to bless you. You are lucky, because first love is the best time in love.

After that, I often search QQ to his space to see what he is doing recently. I refused to add him many times. I just don't want to be abandoned, not to the extent that I still love him. After a long time, I got married. I have a husband who loves me and has paid a lot for me. I gave birth to a child and lived happily. And he may have had enough waves, or he may regret it. I'm glad he took the initiative to add me as a friend. But every time I talk to him, I am still cautious, either just talking about games or using a brotherly tone, for fear that something will anger him and then delete me. He doesn't usually call me. Every time he comes to me, he will say that he is poor and has no money, but I still meet him stupidly again and again, as if I were his ATM, but I am willing. I rightfully call it love, but it's just my vanity. People who abandoned me came back to me with a sense of accomplishment.

In this way, after almost six years of vanity and repeated satisfaction, I am tired. In March of this year, he suddenly asked me how to have a pregnancy test. I asked him if it was his. He saidno. A few days later, he asked me what I needed to eat to supplement my body after abortion. I asked him what happened, and he admitted that it was his child, and he accompanied him to the operation. I was very angry. I thought he really regretted it or really cared about me. I thought he would never cheat again. I thought I met his needs and he would care about my feelings. I was wrong. Eight years of missing suddenly disappeared in an instant and finally let go. I think of a word to describe him as scum, and a word to describe me as meanness. Until now, I often go to see his space. He's not doing well, but it's none of my business. I'm not looking at him, it's the purest feeling.

I think of a sentence that a father said when arguing with his daughter, "Dad is also a father for the first time." The same is true of first love. When you fall in love for the first time, you don't know anything, you don't know how to distinguish hypocrisy, you don't know how to give and receive, but it is this ignorance and clumsiness that is more real. Everything will pass by with time, but it has become the most beautiful, painful or touching thing in life. This is an inevitable disaster in the journey of life and the best gift from heaven. This is the first love, unforgettable, taught me to love.

Do you remember your first love? Where is it now?