Is it really so sad for our one-child family with adopted children to get sick when they are old?

First of all, no matter whether we adopt a son or a daughter, our generation should not place the hope of providing for the aged after illness on our children.

The son mentioned in the article is not necessarily unfilial, but the pressure of life leads to his lack of energy and ability to be filial to his parents. So this has nothing to do with his son and daughter, but with the pressure of his life. Imagine, if you change your son's situation into a daughter, can you be filial to you? Not necessarily, maybe not as good as my son. Because contemporary women not only have to bear the pressure of work, but also bear more pressure of life. She really doesn't care about you.

On the other hand, if you have a strong economic foundation, your son can easily support his family with your savings without working. Do you think he is filial? I think he is more filial than anyone else because he relies on your savings to support his family. Filial piety to parents earns more money than hard work. He is glad that the river doesn't wash the boat, and he will certainly become a sensible and considerate dutiful son.

After all, your friend's family background is not thick enough. So how to solve this problem?

First of all, while being healthy, you can also do something to earn more money and reduce the pressure on your children to provide for the elderly. In this way, even if the children can't take care of them, we can hire nannies, carers and even live in better nursing homes. I think the staff here know how to take care of the elderly better than their sons.

Secondly, it is to exercise seriously and have regular physical examinations, so that we can have a healthy body and take good care of our lives, and we don't need children to be filial before going to bed. Just like my mother-in-law, she is over eighty, still full of energy every day, and her small life is arranged properly, so she doesn't need children to take care of her.

All in all, I think things will work out eventually. There is no need to scare yourself and embarrass yourself. There are also many excellent sons and daughters, and there are also many unfilial daughters. Why embarrass yourself for an unchangeable status quo (no daughter)?

I still hope you can live a happy, optimistic and cheerful life, so that diseases will not haunt you easily. It is better to be filial to your children than to have a healthy body! Do you think what I said makes sense?

Mother and son are a kind of fate!

My husband has a normal relationship with his mother-in-law. He didn't grow up with his mother when he was a child. When I was old, I joined the army, especially in other places. Mothers and sons only get together on holidays. Five years ago, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. Breast cancer.

My mother-in-law called us over and said quietly. I majored in biology as an undergraduate. So, doctor, I understand! Breast cancer is a kind of accessory cancer. It doesn't matter!

How could it not matter! Eighty years old. The husband asked the doctor, are you optimistic? The doctor talked for a long time but didn't make it clear. Anyway, it is: three guarantees and five. The warranty is three years. I hope I won't have a relapse after five years ... my mother-in-law's illness is hard to say!

What happened afterwards? The husband went back to work. Not long after, I applied to be transferred back to Beijing headquarters. He is a good husband. Ask me what to eat at night. But it was his decision. Give up your comfortable job, give up your promotion and go back to Beijing! "My mother's life is not easy. In the last few years, I spent more time with her! "

We moved from a big house to a small house. From taking the official bus to starting to squeeze the subway to work. I live in an old apartment on the West Second Ring Road in Beijing. Just to take care of her mother-in-law at that time and go to the hospital every day. What about the husband? Report to the hospital as soon as you get off work!

On the day of mother-in-law's operation. He has been standing at the door. Stand in a motionless military posture. Four and a half hours. Until the doctor came out ... "The operation was quite successful. Family members can rest assured! "

He held her mother-in-law's bed and carefully pushed it back to the ward. My mother-in-law woke up. I think I said something. He knelt on the ground, prone on the bed and listened!

His mother-in-law's illness touched his heart. He lost sleep for the first time. The first time I got dizzy, First of all, heart discomfort. It was then. More than four months. He stays with his mother every night. He has more white hair. ...

My brother is also a dutiful son.

It is said that my stepmother is not suitable for having children. Risked his life and gave birth to a younger brother. Relatives say her son raised it!

Stepmother has had Alzheimer's disease for many years! She doesn't like taking a bath. Except my brother coaxed her. Others denied it. Every week, my brother takes time out to bathe his mother. Pedicure and manicure. He even taught himself to cut his hair and cut his mother's hair. He has thoroughly studied his mother's situation. He even became half a doctor! He works in a real estate company. Now working in Shenzhen. I have to fly to Beijing every weekend. Otherwise, fidgeting! Because mom is calling him. ...

He recorded a lot of videos. Those who sing Yue Opera. Sing nursery rhymes. Jumping around. I usually let the nanny show it to my mother.

Once, my stepmother was ill. Pull out your hair. It's bleeding. I saw it. I took out my scissors and cut all her hair. Cut it very short. When my brother came back to see his mother like this, he flew into a rage and asked the nanny what was going on. The nanny told him. He didn't speak. After dinner, he looked for it with his mobile phone ... A few days later, his mother wore a flowered hat on her head.

The younger brother said with tears. Mom loves beauty all her life!

Filial piety to the elderly is a virtue. However, the real mother-child relationship depends on love! Unfilial! Whether your children love you or not, it is estimated that they know it!

And a son. Mom has cancer! I always miss my son. She had four children in her life. Only this one son! Her medical expenses are all inclusive. I live in Gao Qian. There is a medical team. She knew she was dying. Always wanted to see my son.

Where's the eldest son? Answer her through the secretary. "I'll take time to visit you in Beijing." Then, arrange someone to send flowers to his mother in his own name every day! "I wish you a speedy recovery!" The eldest son wrote it by hand. Copy again. I made 200 at once. One a day.

Throughout the year, he is also "busy with official business" and always goes there three times.

He wasn't even around when mom left! He explained: I said no last time. I went! And then it's okay! Who knows, it's true this time!

A few years later, he got cancer. His son is also "busy with official business". Just watch it a few times. Send flowers according to "family tradition" ...

"There are doctors and nurses. Do I think it is useful? "

In the best hospital in Beijing. I've heard this from older girls more than once.

The memorial service was full of heavy and decent dutiful sons! In fact, there are scenes behind it!

Not many sons. This is not a condition. Go if you can. No conditions, we can take care of it. What a force! What a force! Not a daughter-in-law's attitude.

Does he love his parents now? And this love is actually planted by parents themselves.

We are the parents of the first generation of only children, and we are also sensitive to the problem of relying on children when we are old and sick, but I am not sad. There is only one daughter in our family, and she has been working with us since she graduated from college. Although I bought a house for my daughter, I still live with us after marriage. I usually take care of my daughter's home. Neither of us can drive. On holidays or going far away, my daughter drives us. The daughter is also responsible for the annual routine physical examination, and she is responsible for the health care products she usually uses. We take care of their lives, and they know how to repay them. My son-in-law works in other places. When my grandson was young, my daughter always took care of him at night and never bothered us. We are not worried about our daughter's performance. When we can't take care of ourselves, our daughter won't turn a blind eye. Even if there is no helper, we believe that she will arrange it, so the old couple value our capable daughter.

Not to mention the one-child family with a son, but what if there are more children? My brother and sister are in other provinces, and my father's cancer surgery has been kept by me for a month. I was covered with a tube, turned over, urinated and fed, and the unit urged me to work. In the end, he was detained for more than 3 thousand. More than 80 mothers hung infusion bottles day and night five days before they were hospitalized. They collect urine every half an hour, and there is no accompanying bed, so they sit on a small stool and endure it for more than half a month. Opposite the hospital bed, an 84-year-old rural mother was served by a son in her 60s, and she raised six sons and two daughters. She has never seen other children visit her, saying that her land is planted for her eldest son, who is responsible for providing for the elderly. The steamed bread and pickles brought at home are so big that we eat a lot. I envy that I am a daughter who waits on my mother and that we order food every day. There is also a mother in her fifties in the same ward. Because of lung infection, her son was working outside. She didn't call him back and hired a nurse to take care of him. The fourth hospital bed is an old man in his forties who has been under examination. Not diagnosed, taken care of by an only child. Fortunately, the only daughter developed her own gallery and stopped working. She is busy communicating with doctors every day, and keeps going upstairs and downstairs with her mother for examination. Ward is the epitome of society. I have retired and have time to be healthy, so I don't have to call my brothers and sisters who work far away. Think about what to do if I get sick, and it is impossible to delay my son's work. He has to bring home the bacon. He won't retire until I'm 90. The only way is to have money. If you have money, you have the ability to treat your disease. If you have money, you can afford to take care of you. You can make an agreement with your son in advance that I will not be in the intensive care unit, and you should not sign the rescue with bare pipes. After the rescue, you will rely on

This is the reality, there is no sadness, the key is that you expect too much, rely too much and are in a bad mood.

We are only children, too. After graduating from college, we worked in other places and married local women. There are only old couples at home.

When many people congratulated our son after he was born, I once smiled and said to my best friend, "There is nothing to celebrate. As the saying goes, if you marry a daughter-in-law and sell your children, your son will be raised in the future and there will be nothing. Unlike your adopted daughter, the son-in-law has half a son, and both children are complete. "

Although this is a joke, it is true. Therefore, feel at ease, have children without overjoyed, have no old age, and do your due duty. Then, love yourself, live your life well, don't give your children trouble, give them less trouble, just be happy. Finding a nursing home to live in and enjoy my old age is also a kind of life, which is really beyond my power. Where is the desolation?

I am the first generation only child. 1980 years later, on 20 14, my mother was diagnosed with cancer and my father had collapsed. I contacted the hospital myself, found someone to treat my mother in the hospital, started chemotherapy, and drove to pick her up every day. Because my roommate has two children, my daughter resigned and accompanied her every day, and my son came to pick her up every day. I can't bear to let my mother stay in the hospital alone, but I can only toss and turn every day ... since my mother was ill. I dare not shed a tear … I don't know how to get through it … At that time, I had made plans to sell my house and car without getting married … Later, my mother might feel sorry for me … Within half a year, people would be gone … So, it was very sad, so I thought how not to come out flat-bottomed and comfort each other …

Whether a one-child family with a son can count on him when he is old and sick really depends on people, whether the child knows how to be grateful and how parents count on him. If he falls ill in his later years, I find it hard to expect children to take care of him. If you think about it from your son's point of view, it is not difficult to understand, because he has to face four old people, as well as his family, work and life, which is not easy for him. Of course, this does not mean that only children live on their laurels.

Different sons and sons have different ages, different family education, different environments and different living conditions, and of course the degree of filial piety is also different. I once met a boy born in 1980s who quit his job to take care of his mother who suffered from cerebral hemorrhage and hemiplegia. His wife came to the hospital with her food and children after work at night. This kind of situation is rare, and it is also the most touching picture I have ever seen, because the mother once helped her son and daughter-in-law to take care of their children, and they have always been grateful.

But most parents I have met, daughters are more cautious and closer to their parents than sons. Five households in my building are all my sons, and the other four households seem to be "stained with their daughters' light", so I envy them, too. But nothing is absolute. No matter a boy or a girl, filial piety to parents requires him to have that heart, that is, to be a good boy.

Actually, you don't have to be sad. One-child families are not old people all their lives. They have many children, and this child can't count on that. Our one-child family is about to change this old concept. We should support the elderly on our own, and we can't give our children any trouble. Don't say that two children face four old people, and children are tired of facing their own biological parents. We are old, such as seventy or eighty years old, and our son is not young. He's exhausted, too How can he bear to wait on two old people all day? Besides, they have been spoiled since childhood, and you can serve him just as well. If two old people are hospitalized, one is sick at home and the other is helpless, the child will be sad to think about this situation.

My husband and I take care of each other. My husband is in good health. He usually takes care of me when I am sick. I take care of all minor illnesses, including hospitalization, which is not difficult for him. In fact, at the end of life, husband and wife are the best crutches, and it is best to help each other.

2. Save money to hire someone to take care of or go to a nursing home. At present, our life is ok, but we should also take care of the elderly, because both parents are alive and almost 90 years old. We have a pension. When we are old, my son is willing to take care of the money and give it to him step by step. If we can't take care of it, we will spend money to hire someone. If it really doesn't work, we will live in a nursing home in advance.

3. "Everything will be solved in the end." Mind your own business, count as you walk, and don't want to go that far for the time being. It is almost hopeless to expect an only child, because people don't know what's wrong and how long it will take, so don't delay the child's career and bring him trouble. I felt even more worried when my child was ill.

Every family has a difficult experience, so let's continue to work hard! Whether you have a pension or not, you have to save money to support the elderly, so children can't expect to support their children. That's an old story. Nowadays, most only children are spoiled by their parents and can't take care of others at all. They often stay up late and sleep to death at night. Do you think it is feasible to ask him to eat lunch for breakfast and expect him to take care of them? If a son can't count on his daughter-in-law, don't think about it, as if he hasn't had that obligation yet.

It's good that children can always greet you, care about you and come to see you, without being stuffy. Don't expect too much. Come to think of it, children are not "used to support the elderly." If he knows how to be grateful, he will naturally arrange you and take good care of you without expectation. It depends on how you "invest" your child in him since childhood.

Finally, I thank Wukong for inviting me.

In fact, we have an only-child family with adopted children, and getting sick in old age is not as sad as we thought.

I am in the hospital this time. I have three beds in the same ward, all of whom are only children.

There is an elder sister whose son and daughter-in-law are in the army, and her husband died last year. The hospitalization operation was signed by her brother, and then she was taken care of by a nurse at her own expense. Her son and daughter-in-law just call to say hello every day, full of care and consideration.

Another sister is taken care of by her daughter-in-law, her son is working outside, and her granddaughter has just entered junior high school. The daughter-in-law is also an only child, and her father is hospitalized on the same floor. 1 1. This woman runs upstairs and downstairs, taking care of her mother-in-law to sleep, and then taking care of her father. It's not that she doesn't hire a nurse, but the price of 200 yuan a day doesn't feel worthwhile.

My son and daughter-in-law are all at work and doctors, so they can't have time to take care of me. I was taken care of by my wife on vacation and went home. My son and daughter-in-law told me to have a good rest. When they are free, they also do housework diligently.

Even in families with many children, children have their own families and children, and they need to have their own lives. Parents can't kidnap their children because they are old or sick, which will reduce their quality of life.

With the development of an aging society, the old people's pension and diseases will attract social attention. The quality of nurses and nannies will be improved, so I'm not too worried about these.

On the other hand, the only child is now the most tired: overwhelmed by the pressure from the elderly (some even have grandparents), children who have to support their education, and wives.

As parents, let's put ourselves in others' shoes. Think about them more. You are helping your son by not putting pressure on them.

I feel that having children makes a large part of the elderly sad. The sad time is that the elderly have physical problems, inconvenient legs and feet, and even can't take care of themselves. I think everyone can see that when people are old, there are happy times and painful times, because more children are always a hundred times better than fewer children. For example, if the old man is ill and hospitalized, you and I are a son, and this nursing becomes a problem. Therefore, it is painful and helpless to have a son. If there are many children, they can be replaced, and the hospitalized elderly may suffer less or even live for a few more years. If children live in poverty and lack of financial resources, it may mean that the lives of the elderly are seriously affected. When he is old, he can't make money, and his children have no money. How difficult is life for a frail old man? This is the helplessness of the old man, which is both sad.

I let go of the second child, and my wife resolutely refused to let me have a second child. In his words, it is enough to love a child well.

Then we agreed to spend one's salary after retirement and keep one's salary for the elderly. As long as one day, we forget to turn off the fire after cooking for three times, the two of us will go to the nursing home together, and we will never get tired of children.

It is not easy for children to tell the truth nowadays. The work pressure is high and the competition is fierce. It won't add chaos to the children. As long as the child lives well, he will be practical when he dies and close his eyes.

Remember not to burden the children.

Answer over!