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2022 Divorce Yearbook Query (This series is Southern Weekend and Southern People Weekly, free to read within a limited time)

Walking out of the marriage registration center in Haidian District, the man took off his mask and squatted on the street to smoke a cigarette, while the woman waited behind. (Southern Weekend reporter Tan Chang/map)

(This article was first published on March 26th, 2022 in the special issue of "Southern Weekend Fighting Pneumonia" and "Popular Line Report". )

"What they are fighting for is actually not how to treat the' imperial doctor'. But as a husband and wife, the other party does not understand and agree with their own values, and they feel sad about it. "

Jin Zengyu originally wanted to see if there were any parties who changed their minds after experiencing the epidemic and eased their relationship with the other half-"no lovers."

A young couple in Wuhan complained to her that both sides have not worked for more than two months, and they have raised two children at home, and they are still carrying mortgage loans. "Even group buying dishes can't afford it."

Tian Zijun, an expert in marital emotional psychology in Wuhan, received a phone call from a local young couple during the epidemic. China people and the young couple had a heated debate about whether to support Li Yuehua, who claimed to have cured many patients.

The wife appreciated Li Yuehua's kindness, treated the disease regardless of personal safety during the epidemic, and then blamed her husband for questioning his medical ability, "always thinking so badly of people". The husband grabbed the complaint and said, "How can I live with an ignorant woman?"

"What they are fighting for is actually not how to treat the' imperial doctor'. But as a husband and wife, the other party does not understand and agree with their own values, and they feel sad about it. " After working for more than 20 years, Tian Zijun has seen many marriages. She found that couples who can walk through the storm hand in hand always have similar values.

The epidemic since the beginning of 2022 has left many couples who have never been at home for a long time, and their concepts conflict with each other.

The epidemic has invaded our daily life, and many things we thought were solid have vanished, including marriage? A friend inquired that divorce appointments were everywhere in some cities recently, which proved the fragility of marriage in the epidemic.

However, Tian Zijun has a different interpretation. On March 22nd, she told Southern Weekend that "the epidemic has pushed up the divorce rate" is more like saying: "In recent years, the divorce rate in China has been rising continuously, not suddenly. The epidemic has only aggravated the inherent contradictions of the family. "

The divorce appointment is full.

There are still ten minutes to go out. At 8: 00 a.m. on March 2 1, there was a sparse queue outside the Marriage Registration Center in Haidian District. Everyone in the team wears a mask and consciously keeps a distance of more than one meter from the person in front.

In order to avoid the large number of people registered in the lobby, the city issued a notice at the end of 1, stipulating that the marriage registration centers in all districts should implement the appointment system. Whether it is registered marriage or divorce, the parties must wait outside and call in according to the pre-reserved time period. The wedding vows, wedding lecture hall and other procedures are all suspended, in order to shorten the detention time, and the relatives and friends of the parties can enter the hall without accompanying them.

March 2 1 day is Saturday, but from the perspective of the Gregorian calendar, it is not an auspicious day for marriage. According to the telephone statistics at the door, there were more than 100 couples who made an appointment for marriage registration that day, and about half of them were married and divorced. "Usually, there are more marriages."

Most people who come for divorce are silent. At about 9: 40, a man and a woman who finished the divorce registration came out, rode on a bicycle on the street to share and parted ways. The woman told the Southern Weekend reporter that she chose this day to register, just because it was Saturday, and the appointment was only two or three days in advance.

Compared with Shanghai, Shanghainese have to make an appointment almost one month in advance for divorce, but the reason is not necessarily the increase in the number of divorces.

The name of Shanghai Xuhui District Marriage Registration Center is generally based on appointment registration, but some older people will not make an appointment and come directly to the scene, taking into account the situation. Now because of the epidemic, the total number of visits must be controlled, and those without appointments are no longer available. The maximum number of divorce appointments in the center every day is 15, so as to ensure that at most only two couples in the hall are going through the formalities at the same time.

"This can't be compared with before. There were so many the morning before. " After the total amount is controlled, the number of divorces received every day will drop, which will inevitably lead to a backlog of people who want to divorce. "The notice is to make an appointment one month in advance. According to the parties, it is full. But whether there are more people (than before) who want to divorce, I can't see it here. " It says.

Xi' an 17 marriage registration office began to work normally on March 2, one month later than in previous years. Local media reported that there was a "small peak" of divorce. According to the analysis of this newspaper, the marriage registration office in Yanta District is partly due to the backlog of inventory some time ago and partly due to the epidemic. "I stayed at home for too long, and my husband and wife divorced impulsively."

"There are usually more than 20 couples (divorces) a day, but there are very few. Make more than 10 pairs a day, and the income is high. Now because it's an appointment, it's full every day. But if there is any growth, I can't see it. " Hu Li (a pseudonym) is one of the three divorce businesses in the Marriage Registry of Xincheng District of Xi City.

Hu Li said that divorce is more complicated than marriage registration. Usually only one pair can be tied in an hour. The working hours are three hours in the morning and three hours in the afternoon, so now they only have six divorce appointments a day.

I spoke to Hu Li on March 18. On the same day, Southern Weekend reporter found that the divorce appointment in Xincheng had been scheduled for April 7, leaving only the time slot of 14:00- 15:00. Marriage dating is relatively loose.

Hu Li explained that because the marriage registration office is relatively large, it can be separated by several windows, and there are 20 pairs a day. "We divorce this house is small, and it is not good to shout in. One pair left and then the next pair came in, and there was a process of elimination in the middle. "

Moreover, "marriage can't wait, and divorce can be reconsidered at this time."

In Hu Li's view, the vast majority of recently divorced people have not been affected by the epidemic. "It's all been planned for a long time." Some of them are determined. It has been five years since they began to register for divorce. "It is not because of the epidemic that they are looking for trouble at home." After registering, others walked in hand and left hand in hand.

"risk your life for divorce"

There is a marriage and family room in xingqing district, Yinchuan. Usually, Mr. Wang Binhai will provide free mediation here for couples who intend to divorce.

Affected by the epidemic, the marriage registration business in xingqing district was not resumed until March 15. But as early as mid-February, I was worried that people were bored and emotionally unstable at home, and asked Wang Binhai to publish his mobile phone number and set up a marriage service.

On the most day, Wang Binhai received more than 50, and when it was less, there were nearly 20. The caller doesn't necessarily ask for a divorce, but complains that her husband has a bad temper and her mother-in-law is biased against herself. "Contradictions, no epidemic will happen. It's just that during this time, everyone is more anxious and amplifies emotions. "

Some people are anxious to ask when to resume divorce registration. Wang Binhai advised them to wait patiently and regard the epidemic period as a "cooling-off period for divorce".

Yiyi, a divorce lawyer, received several friends during the epidemic. "They said they were fighting at home." These couples have their own contradictions, but in normal times, Yiyi estimates that she can wait two or three years before making up her mind to divorce. The sudden outbreak of the epidemic is like a chemical agent. "I used to avoid going to work, but now I can't get out at home and I can't avoid it. I want one after the epidemic. "

Although they are friends, Yiyi seldom makes peace. According to her past experience, couples who want to divorce will leave after a while even if they are stopped for a while. The epidemic only shortened the last time for both parties to try to maintain their marriage.

Yi Yi is the director of Kerry Law Firm. Since the resumption of work on February 20th, this law firm specializing in divorce litigation has signed more than 50 cases in one month. "The number of cases cannot be said to be more than in previous years. After all, many places stopped production this year. But there are quite a few. We all feel incredible. Some customers have signed contracts without meeting each other. It is urgent. "

In most cases, the reason why the parties want to divorce has little to do with the epidemic. "Domestic violence, extramarital affairs, conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law ... nothing more than these, as usual." However, some "pots" still depend on the epidemic. For example, a client told Yi Yi that it was these days that she was trapped at home and accidentally found the ambiguous chat record between her husband and a third party.

Jin Zengyu, another lawyer of the firm, had more than 30 unsolved cases before the New Year. She wants to see if any customers have changed their minds after experiencing the epidemic and eased their relationship with the other half-"no lovers."

"These people risked their lives to get divorced." Jin Zengyu recalled that she was still in her hometown in Heilongjiang on the fifteenth day of the first month, and a client had already made an appointment to come to the law firm for an interview. "At that time, the epidemic was serious and all localities stopped working. Most people's cognition has nothing to go out. "

Being unable to meet face to face really brings a lot of trouble to the work of divorce lawyers. Jin Zengyu said that the parties in marriage and family cases rely more on lawyers than other cases. "Only when you meet can you feel safe, and when you meet, you can talk about deeper things." One afternoon after work, she interviewed a client who wanted a divorce because of domestic violence. She interviewed for five hours, and both of them were wearing masks all the time.

In a special period, someone moved the trial of divorce proceedings online, and Jin Zengyu felt very uncomfortable. For example, her client claims that the other party is cheating, and the other party denies it. If it is an offline trial, the judge can observe the manner and tone of the other party when presenting evidence, and form a free evaluation certificate. "But now everyone is on the phone and the signal is unstable. The judge said that you look at this photo, and the other party said that I can't see it clearly, so there is no way. "

"The greater the economic pressure, the more depressed the family."

In Hubei, the hardest hit area, on March 17, the Hubei Provincial Civil Affairs Department announced that the marriage registration authorities in the province would gradually resume marriage registration in different levels and regions. Up to now, the specific recovery time has not been known.

/kloc-Long Mei, a witness to the SARS epidemic 0/7 years ago, reminded that the impact of the epidemic on patients' families was worthwhile.

Long Mei's ex-husband was infected with SARS, and in the course of treatment, he left a sequela due to improper medication. "Sequela half in the body, half in psychology. He is the son of heaven. After he got sick, there was a big gap, so he would blame me for the misfortune of contracting SARS and take it out on me. For family members, it is an ordinary life and an unbearable weight in life. "

In 2006, Long Mei and her ex-husband agreed to divorce. Long Mei, who was still working in the media at that time, made a survey: more than 300 patients with SARS sequelae were registered, and 60% of them had changed their families.

However, after learning the experience and lessons of SARS treatment, the treatment of patients this time pays more attention to rational use. Long Mei hopes that patients can avoid family tragedies caused by sequela in the future.

But unlike SARS, Tian Zijun noticed that the economic pressure brought by the epidemic was gradually eroding the foundation of the family. A young couple in Wuhan complained to her that both sides had not worked for more than two months, and there were two children at home, and they were still carrying a mortgage and car loan. "Even the group buying food can't afford it."

"In the later period, the greater their economic pressure, the more depressed their families are, and they bicker for some trivial matters. This is no longer a problem that psychology can solve. " Tian Zijun said.

Lin Zi, a member of the psychological consultation expert group on epidemic prevention and control in Shanghai, found that the parent-child relationship in many families has also changed into husband-wife relationship. The children are always at home and have to watch classes. Many mothers feel that they are on the verge of "collapse". "Only by scolding your husband can you make yourself feel better. The migration, generalization and' contagion' of emotions during the epidemic are more obvious in every family. "

"This epidemic constitutes a large-scale disaster. In a disaster, if people's stress state is not intervened in time, it may turn into post-traumatic stress disorder, and there will be a high incidence of psychological crisis within three to six months after the outbreak. " Lin Zi and her team have participated in the psychological rescue of major disasters such as the loss of Asiana and Malaysia Airlines. She told the Southern Weekend reporter that after these disasters, the relevant groups all had different degrees of stress response, and the group stress response brought by this epidemic was even stronger.

Lin Zi suggested that as individuals, especially couples facing marital troubles, they should better understand the big psychological environment and background and avoid making any major decisions under pressure.

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Southern Weekend reporter Tan Chang Southern Weekend Intern Song Sijing

The above is about the 2022 divorce calendar query, about the sharing of the epidemic. I hope this will help you watch the flood control in Niu Geng in 2022!