Original text of secular strange man

Weifang, Tianjin is a land and water terminal with mixed residents and different personalities. However, Zhao Yan's hometown is full of blood and gas field; Water, salt and soil are alkaline and windy. In the past hundred years, all disasters in China have been the first, because all kinds of weird people have been born, not only in the upper class, but also in the streets. I have heard many friends and remembered them for a long time. After that, although it was mostly used in books such as "The Whip of God" and "Three-inch Golden Lotus", some story characters were still idle and not adopted. These wonderful things are unheard of. Wouldn't it be a pity if they were abandoned? I suddenly had an idea recently. Why not write it down for future generations to appreciate and learn that past lives is the same? So, think about it, starting today; Each person has nothing to do with it, and the crown is always called "earthly wonders".

Secular Miracle: Su Qi Kuai

Dr. Su, whose real name is Su Jinsan, started to practice medicine in Xiaobailou area in the early years of the Republic of China, with a bone-setting ring and Tianjin Wei hanging the top card. Even foreigners who raced horses and broke their arms and legs came to beg him.

He is a man with long robes and strong hands. He is in his fifties, with red lips and white teeth, eyes and a lock of goatee, and his chin is black and shiny. When I speak, my voice comes from my chest, as loud as being close at hand and as far away as the sky. If I enter this class to study drama, I will become Jin Shaoshan's sworn enemy. His movements are even more "clean". Someone has a broken bone and comes to him. What should he do? When you touch your fingers, you cut the meat through the skin. What's going on inside? You immediately shine. Suddenly, a Bai Niao's hands raced up and down like lightning. There was only a click, and before the patient felt pain, the broken bone was connected. Stick a plaster and a splint, and the patient will be fine when he goes back. If I come again, I will definitely send a big plaque and bow greatly to express my gratitude.

People have skill and good temper. Dr. Su has a formal rule that whoever comes to see a doctor, rich or poor, must put seven silver dollars on the counter before he is willing to see a doctor, otherwise he will never take a reason. Is this a rule? This is his rule! People accused him of recognizing money but not people, and his ability was worth seven dollars. For some reason, he got a derogatory nickname called Su Qikuai. Call him Dr. Su to his face and Su Qikuai behind his back. No one knows his name Su Jinsan.

Dr. Su likes playing cards very much. One day, he did nothing. Two card friends came to play, one was short of three, so they invited Dr. Hua, a dentist not far from the street, to gather together a table. Just as I was having a good time, Zhang Si, a tricycle driver, broke in and leaned against the door. His left elbow was supported by his right hand, and sweat was dripping on his head. The jacket on the neck is wet, and the arm is obviously broken, which hurts enough. But rickshaw pullers earn money and eat every day. How can they get seven silver dollars? He said he owed it to Dr. Su first, and then he would definitely pay it back. He even groaned when he spoke, which was very painful. Unexpectedly, Dr. Su doesn't listen to games, touch cards, look at cards, count cards, be happy or worried or be surprised or pretend not to be surprised, and his mind is all on the card table. A card friend couldn't see the past and pointed to the door with his finger, but Dr. Su kept staring at the card. The nickname "Su Qi Kuai" is very firm.

Dr. Hua is a dentist. He is famous for his kindness. He said he had to pee, left the card table and went to the backyard, drilled the back door and went around the front street. He quietly called Zhang Si, who was leaning against the door, and gave him seven silver dollars from his pocket. Without waiting for Zhang Si's gratitude, he turned and retraced his steps, entered the room and sat back at the poker table, then casually played cards.

After a while, Zhang Si walked into the room in a crooked way. Seven pieces of silver entered the table with a loud "Wow", which was faster than ringing the bell. Dr. Su had already stood in front of Zhang Si, rolled up his sleeves, put Zhang Si's arm on the table, pinched the bones a few times, and pushed it left and right with his hand, from top to bottom. Zhang Si suddenly shrugged his shoulders, narrowed his neck, closed his eyes and bared his teeth, ready for a heavy blow, but Dr. Su said, "It's connected." Immediately put on ointment, put on splint, and gave Zhang Si several packages of oral medicine for promoting blood circulation and relieving pain. Zhang Si said that he had no money to pay for the medicine, but Dr. Su only said, "I gave this medicine." He went back to the poker table.

Today's cards have their own wins and losses, and they are endless. It was not until the light came on that everyone shouted in vain. When leaving the house, Dr. Su held out his thin hand and stopped Dr. Hua, giving him something to do. After the two card friends left, he took out seven pieces from the pile of silver dollars in front of his seat and put them in Dr. Hua's hand. Dr. China said in surprise:

"There are words, still have to tell you. Don't think I have a bad heart, but I can't change this rule! "

Dr. Hua took this and went back to ponder for three days and nights, still not understanding the meaning of Dr. Su's words. But he really admires Dr. Su and this person.

Secular Miracle: Feng

Feng is from Ningbo, Zhejiang. There are two kinds of people in the Feng family, one is a businessman and the other is a scholar. The people in the Feng family are smart, and their minds are full of ivory balls carved by Cantonese Weng, layer by layer, and each layer has patterns. Therefore, the Feng family became very rich in business, and they were all literary giants when they were studying. There are five men and two women in Feng's generation, and he ranks last. Several brothers set up factories in Shanghai and Tianjin for a long time to do business, got married early and gained a firm foothold. Only Feng is eating a book at home. He looks like a crucian carp, with thin bones and tender meat like a fish belly. It is not the appearance of making money, but the material of dancing writing. Every book he reads, you read one sentence and he recites the next. It is said that this ability is only available to Wang Anshi in the Song Dynasty. As for his eloquence, no one is dissatisfied. It is said that the future of Feng's generation depends on this.

Feng was twenty-five years old and his parents died. He sold his house and took his family to Tianjinwei in order to vote for his brother and rely on his friends to find a way across the sky.

He has a high heart, but Tianjinwei is a commercial port, and the brush is used to keep accounts. No one reads, and naturally no one reads. For example, there are gold and books on the ground, which one do you pick up? When others get rich, Feng's eyes are hot and his brain is crooked, and he is determined to go into business. But he knows nothing about it. What can he do?

China people want to make money, the first thing that comes to mind is to open a restaurant. People take food as the sky, and people take food as the sky; Three meals a day, if you don't eat your legs, you will be weak. All the money will be given to the restaurant owner. All the money in Tianjin is in the hands of businessmen, and most business contacts are at the dinner table. Besides, Tianjin produces salt, the food is heavy, and Ningbo food is salty, which is right for the taste. Wu Ye Yu Feng made up his mind to open a Ningbo-style restaurant, so he built a house in the downtown area of Majiakou and named it "Zhuangyuan Building". Choose an auspicious day, hold a plaque, burn a whip, shoot a gun, and the restaurant will open. Feng, dressed in a purple-blue gown with a pure gold watch chain hanging on his chest, was separated from China and India, covered in oil, and dressed as an authentic boss, standing in the hall to welcome guests and cope with all directions. A person who studies well, pays attention to etiquette, talks well and is very popular. Besides, Zhuangyuan Building is the only Ningbo Pavilion in Tianjin, and the fish and shrimp in the sea are all Tianjin people's delicacies, which can satisfy their desire. When cooking in Ningbo, they are fresher than live fish and shrimp. Therefore, since its opening, it has been full every day and has to "roll over" at night. After a long time, I didn't make much money. Feng wondered that handfuls of money and flocks of birds flew in every day. Where did it all fall? Look back at the account, alas, lost!

One day, a waiter who came to Ningbo as a helper told him with trepidation that the chicken, duck and fish in the kitchen had limited access to the guests' mouths, and most of them were cut off and thrown out by the cooks, and someone was waiting outside. How much money can Zhuangyuanlou bear to be thrown out every day?

After Feng was furious, he thought, "Twenty-four histories" are all memorized, so there is no way to take this group of dishes. This is an operation. Except for the fat cook brought from my hometown in Ningbo, the rest of the guys were blown away, uprooted and replaced. The backyard wall was equipped with a power grid, thinking that everything would be fine from now on, but the account was still lost. What happened?

Another day, a woman living near Zhuangyuan Building told him quietly that every afternoon when the garbage truck arrived, she would ring the bell and beat seven or eight earth boxes carried out from Zhuangyuan Building. There is only a thin layer of garbage on the top, and there are tin cans, whole bags of salted fish, good wine and cigarettes on the bottom. It turns out that internal and external collusion got things away in this way. Isn't this the same as carrying money out with a clay box every day? In the afternoon, when Feng took out the garbage, he went to check it out, and sure enough. In a rage, change to another person. People have changed, but the book deficit has not changed.

Master Feng doesn't believe that he is incompetent. Staring at the restaurant every day, I can't see anything wrong. Literati live by imagination and really fall into the kaleidoscope of life, that is, "smart people are really fools." Zhuangyuanlou broke the ball, vented his anger and exposed the wind, and fell down at sight. Buying and selling racing drivers, relying on one person to live and vent, no one can do anything. The fewer guests, the fewer guests; Oil and water have no oil, man. Break up. Sometimes the dining room is only half lit.

Master Feng was only a little dissatisfied.

The next day, the boy around him told him that it was rumored that the biggest thief in Zhuangyuan Building was none other than the fat cook brought from his hometown. It is said that he is addicted to stealing, stealing every day, stealing all the time, stealing nothing, stealing something every night when he comes home, and stealing so high that he will never find out. Feng refused to believe that the fat cook cooked for his father, and the fat cook's father cooked for his grandfather. His roots have already taken root in the Feng family. If he is a thief, who is not a thief?

However, after doing business for two years, Feng saw more fake smiles than real ones, heard more lies than the truth, and gained more hearts. That night, when the Zhuangyuan Building turned off the lights and closed, Master Feng took the boy to the front hall of the restaurant, moved a cane chair, put it in a ventilated place, and lay on his back, saying it was cool, but it was really a thief.

Before long, the fat cook turned off the fire, hit the kitchen and was about to go home. He was naked and covered in meat, wearing only a pair of big white underpants, a pair of worn-out cloth shoes, a sweat towel on his shoulders and a paper lamp in his hand. When he saw the boss, he was not in a hurry to leave, but stood and talked. The contest said, "Open your eyes and see!

Feng accosted him in his mouth, but a pair of sharp eyes like literati looked him up and down, thinking-where is this bald man hiding? You can't put a pack of cigarettes in a broken shoe! Lanterns are very bright and recognizable. If you put some in them, you can show them all. Although the underpants are big, you can still see the outline of thighs and buttocks clearly when the wind blows back and forth in the hall. What else can there be? Is there anything wrapped in the towel to wipe the sweat on your shoulders? I have doubts. Before he could say, the fat cook had taken the sweat towel off his shoulder and threw it to the boy. He said, "It's cold outside. What should I do with this big towel? Please put it on the clothesline in the backyard! " After saying goodbye to Feng, he walked away with a lantern.

Master Feng told the boy to open the towel. There was nothing in it. He almost wronged a good man.

But the next day, the boy found the flowers made by the fat cook on the lantern last night. It turns out that the lamp holder for inserting foreign wax is not made of wood, but rotated with a piece of frozen meat, weighing two pounds! But people turned on the light right under Feng's nose and carried it away grandly. What a surprise!

After hearing this, Feng didn't speak for three days, and closed the Zhuangyuan Building on the fourth day. It is suggested that he go back to Wen Yuan to continue his studies. He shook his head and sighed. When you study, you should trust books. He doesn't even know the ability of people who study or don't study, so how can he still study?

Blue eyes, the first part of the miracle on earth

Antique shops have natural enemies, namely fake paintings and fake paintings. People who make fake paintings try their best to deceive those sharp and sharp eyes who look at fake paintings; However, people who look at fake paintings see through the mystery and tricks with these eyes, grab the tip of the tail that the counterfeiter didn't hide, pull it out of a pile of paintings and hang it in broad daylight.

People who look at fake paintings are called blue eyes. I work in Yu Chenggong antique shop in Guodian Street, specializing in painting. Blue eyes are not blue. His surname is Jiang and his original name is Zaitang. Blue eyes is his nickname. Tianjin people have a nice nickname, one is called, and the other is recorded. These blue eyes come from his short-sighted glasses. The lens is thick and You Lan, which really matches a pair of blue eyes. And the key to this blue eye is still in his eye. It is said that he can see the truth by turning off the lights and looking at the picture; Although the text is a bit mysterious, it is not adulterated. His blue eyes are really amazing when painting-looking at fake paintings, his eyes are dull; Look at the real painting, a blue light.

On this day, a man who is learning to dress up came to the store with a photo in his hand. The inscription outside reads "Spring Color Map of Dadizi Lake". Blue eyes seem to have missed it. He knew that no matter what was written on the inscription, it didn't count. It depended on the painting. He brushed the floor and pulled it like lightning, revealing a half-foot painting heart. This is the famous "half-foot job" of Blue Eye. He only looks at paintings within half a foot, no matter how big they are. Whether it's true or not, take this half-foot painting and never look at it again. Blue eyes facing half a foot painting, glasses brush to flash across a blue light, he looked up and asked newcomers:

"How much are you going to sell?"

Newcomers are not in a hurry to ask, but say:

"I heard that Huang San Ye in the west also copied this painting."

Huang San Ye is the first master of fake painting in Guinness. Everyone in the antique shop is afraid of him. I didn't expect blue eyes to listen to games, so I said it again:

"There has never been any Huang San Ye in my eyes. Tell me how much you plan to sell this painting. "

"Two." The newcomer said. These two pieces are twenty taels of gold.

The asking price is not low, nor too high. You push me a little on both sides, and the deal will be eighteen taels.

From this day on, the antique shop in Jinmen said that Yu of Guodian Street successfully bought a large water stone with a long inscription on it, which was very rare. Some people say that this thing comes from a palace in Beijing. The person who came to sell paintings was not very good at painting, but Blue Eye caught him red-handed. Spend a lot of money and things will be easy. Such fine polyester has not been seen in Tianjin antique shop for ten years. At that time, there were no newspapers, and the mouth was the media. The more you talk about it, the wider it will spread. There are always groups of people coming to see the paintings, which has almost become a silk shop.

Enough about the things in the world, and then start talking. About three months later, people began to say that the successful polyester was unreliable. At first glance, it's quite bluffing, but after reading it several times, it's all thin soup and water, and I have no spirit. The difference between true and false paintings is that the real painting can stand the sight, but the fake painting can't stand it. After this word spread, the news came out-some people said that this painting was a fake of western Huang San Ye! Isn't this equivalent to throwing a basin of dirty water on someone's blue-eyed robe?

Blue eyes have roots, ignore them. The more you ignore it, the more mysterious it becomes. Later, he said it had a nose and eyes. It is said that someone saw the original in a person's home in Shenzhen Street. Then, one by one, people went to the successful antique shop to see the paintings, but this time they wanted to see how Huang San Ye could cover his blue eyes. Seeing talented people stumble is always the most fascinating thing!

Mr. Tong, our boss, was a little hairy and said to Blue Eye, "I believe in your eyesight, but I can't hold back the gossip outside, which makes our shop noisy all day." Let's ask someone where the painting is. If you really have an identical painting, you should try to show it and distinguish the true from the false, so it will look taller. "

Blue eyes can tell that the boss is uncertain, but unless he does what the boss says and shows the truth and falsehood together, no one can do anything about gossip. People make trouble in the dark and win in the light.

Boss Tong calls you Xiaowu. You Xiaowu is Tianjin Wei's hamster. He drills everywhere and can touch anything with his ears. They sent you Xiaowu to inquire, and there will be news the next day. It turns out that there is really another Dadi, also called "Hu Caitu", and it is really a Cui family in Shenzhen Street! Boss Tong and Blue Eye don't know who this Cui family is. Boss Tong asked you to show your blue eyes to Xiaowu. Blue eyes can't help but go. When I arrived at the house, two blue lights flashed through the glass brush. Stupid!

This is a real painting. The one in the shop is fake! These two paintings are the same in size, color and picture, and even the seals are imitations. But the air is different-look, this is really air!

He doesn't know how to hit him in the eye. At this time, facing this painting, I really want to be buried. He has been watching it for twenty years. His blue eyes became gods in the antique shop. No one does not believe that what he said is true, and what he said is false. But this time, it was a mistake, spread out and ruined. It's no problem to see whether the painting is true or not, and it's no problem to see it for a lifetime. If you make a mistake, you will jump into the end.

He didn't make a sound I went back to the store and told the boss the truth. Success and blue eyes are linked together, and they should all be planted. Boss Tong thought about it all night. With an idea, I decided to buy Cui's big polyester shaft, even though the price was high. Both paintings are in your hands, and it's up to you to decide which is true or false. However, they can never show up, so they hired another person, pretending to be a buyer, and followed You Xiaowu to Cui's house to buy this scroll painting. Unexpectedly, the beginning of Cui's surname is sky-high. Or you can keep it for yourself. I'm afraid to buy things and not sell them at the same time. However, this person who pretends to be a buyer has a bottom line, because when he comes, Huang Ba has something to say to him, "Even if you smash my shop, you have to buy me the painting." I gave in again and again, and finally I spent seven gold to buy it, more than double the shaft I bought before.

After bringing this scroll painting, Tong's boss was relieved. Although he was worried about money, he kept a successful brand. He asked the guys to hang the two-axis paintings side by side on the wall and have a good look. When hanging a picture, blue eyes look forward and glasses brush flashes three times. People really stood there with sticks. Everything is normal and strange-the original is true, and the one just bought is fake!

If you don't compare the true and false together, you can't tell the true and false at all-this is the skill of others to fake paintings and the highest skill!

But blue eyes are long, aren't they? Navel?

Blue eyes almost closed in one breath. Three days later, he connected the whole story, and then he realized that all this was a trap set by Huang San Ye in the dark. I told you step by step to go in. People sell real paintings without losing money, and fake paintings sell higher than the sky. It suddenly occurred to him that the dressed scholar who came to sell the painting for the first time didn't tell him that "Huang San Ye also copied this painting"? People have already made it clear that this painting is true or false. Let's see who's to blame for hitting the eye. It seems that this Huang San Ye is not only for money, but only for himself. You are told to keep the real painting in your hand and then buy the fake one he made. Well done! When he understands this layer, he will understand that he is home and will eventually fall! From here on, blue eyes rolled up their sleeves and left success. Since then, not only did Tianjin antique shops like him, but even the shadow of Tianjin disappeared from the ground. Some people said that he was very ill, so he lay down and never got up again. What a terrible planting!

Think again, he has worse-he lost to Huang San Ye, but only saw Huang San Ye's handwriting, and he didn't know his face!

Fortunately, he finally thought of Huang San Ye's skill. Die clearly.

Clay figurine Zhang

Among the people on the craft road, the "clay figurine Zhang" who pinched the clay figurine ranked first. Moreover, there is a first, no second, and the third is 108,000 miles.

Clay figurine Zhang's name is. Xianfeng used to go to two places. One is the theater Grand View Building in the northeast corner of the city, and the other is the restaurant Tianqing Pavilion in Beiguan. Sitting there, you have to meet all kinds of people and pinch all kinds of people. Go to the Daguanlou stands to see all kinds of roles, and go to Tianqing Pavilion to see all kinds of roles in the world. The latter is more like.

It was raining that day, and he sat alone in Tianqingge drinking, while paying attention to the appearance of diners around him. At this moment, three people came in from the outside. In the middle, a well-dressed, big-headed, medium-sized man, with a belly and a cow's posture, stormed in. Standing on the table facing the door, the crouching man glanced at it and quickly shouted, "Mr. Zhang in the photo is a rare guest and a distinguished guest." There are always three people here-please come in! "

Hearing this publicity, diners stopped talking and even put down their chopsticks and looked at the famous Zhang. At present, Zhang Jinwen, who made a fortune by selling salt, is the most angry person inside and outside the city. In those days, he was adopted as an adopted son by General Hai Daren of Shengjing, ranking fifth. Therefore, it is also called "Zhang Haiwu". But people call him Zhang to his face and Zhang Wu behind his back. Tianjinwei is the boundary of business, and whoever has money wins three points.

But except craftsmen, craftsmen eat by hand. Who else can you ask? Afraid of who? Therefore, clay figurine Zhang only cares about drinking and eating vegetables, looking around, completely ignoring Hai Zhangwu.

But no, I just heard Hai Zhangwu talk about him. A small voice said, "people are watching a play, and they have clay figurines in their sleeves." Take it out and have a look Just like on the stage. He pinched it. " Then there was Hai Zhangwu's loud voice saying, "Where can I pinch it?" Pinched in the sleeve? Pinch it in your crotch! "Then there was a burst of laughter, making fun of clay figurine zhang.

Everyone in Tianqingge heard these words. People are waiting to see how Zhang, a clay figurine with superb skills and courage, "repays" Hai Zhangwu. A ball of mud passed through?

I saw the clay figurine Zhang didn't listen to the game. He reached under the table with his left hand and tapped the sole to dig out a piece of mud. With a glass of wine in his right hand, his eyes only looked at the tables. The left hand fiddled with the mud, and several fingers pinched it quickly, which was more dexterous than Liu, a juggler. Hai Zhangwu is still having fun. Clay figurine Zhang must have taken all those words back to the mud in his hand. Then I stopped my hand, threw the clay ball on the table, got up and went to the counter to check out.

Diners craned their necks to see that this clay figurine is really awesome! It's like cutting off Zhang Wu's head and putting it on the table. A gourd ladle-like head, bulging eyes and a proud face are more like Zhang Wu in the sea than Zhang Wu in the sea. Only the size of a walnut.

Hai Zhangwu is over there. You can tell it's him two feet away. He shouted at the back of the clay figurine Zhang who was walking out the door: "This broken craft also needs to make money, and no one wants to sell it cheaply."

Without looking back, the mud man opened his umbrella and left. But what happened to Tianjin Wei didn't end like this-

The next day, rows of clay sculptures of Zhang Wu in the sea were placed on several grocery stalls in the street outside the North Gate, and another body was added, sitting there grandly. And turn it over and buckle it, mass production, one or two hundred. There is also a white note on the booth, which is written in pen and ink:

Sell haizhangwu at a low price

It is estimated that people coming and going in the street are happy to see them. Look for acquaintances after having fun, and have another fun.

Three days later, Hai Zhangwu sent someone to buy all these clay figurines at a high price. It is said that they also bought clay molds. Clay figurines are gone, but the story of "selling Zhang Wu at a low price" has been circulating for more than 100 years until today.

Brush plum

Brush Li is a master of a construction factory on Hebei Avenue. Just draw one line and do nothing else.

The most amazing thing is that he wears a black suit when he brushes the pulp, and there is no white body after he finishes his work.

Point. He also made a rule for himself that as long as there are white spots on his body, white brushes don't cost money.

One day this year, Li accepted an apprentice named Cao. Of course, Cao has already heard of it.

Master's stunts have always been dubious. I have to see for myself this time.

On that day, I went out to work with my master for the first time and went to Chengnan Road in the British Concession to give it to Li Gai.

The house was painted with mud. Before work, the owner opened a small square bag with him, which contained fruit.

However, he is wearing black trousers and a pair of black cloth shoes.

A room, a roof, four walls, first paint the roof and then paint the walls. The top is particularly difficult to brush,

Who wouldn't drop a brush dipped in a drop of powder paste? If you drop it, it will definitely fall on you.

You can finish it with one brush, but you won't dip it. But painted the roof, even solid.

A white, bright white, refreshing white.

Li shuagong has a rule. Every time I finish painting the wall, I have to sit on a stool and have a meeting.

Son, smoke a pack of cigarettes, drink a bowl of tea, and then paint the next wall. At the moment, Cao gave it to the master.

Pour water to light a cigarette, have a look, and carefully search the whole body of Mei Brush. After painting every wall, he

Search again. I cann't believe I didn't even find a sesame-sized powder spot. He really thinks it is black.

Our clothes have a sacred majesty.

However, when Li finished painting the last wall and sat down, Cao lit his cigarette.

I really see a white spot the size of a soybean on my pants. There is black in white, which is darker than white.

More eye-catching. It's over! Master betrayed, he is not a fairy, but a mountain-like shape in the past legend.

The elephant fell. But he was afraid that Master would be embarrassed, so he didn't dare to say or read it. He just couldn't help but scan it.

A glimpse.

At that moment, Li suddenly brushed and said to him:

"Small three, you see the white spots on my pants. You think the master's ability is fake,

Fame is a lie, right Silly boy, you take a closer look-"

Li said, and gently lifted it with the finger brush of his trousers, and the white spot disappeared immediately and appeared again.

As soon as I let go, the white spots appeared again, which was amazing! He put his face together and looked at it again. That white dot turned out to be a dot.

Hole! I accidentally caught fire while smoking just now. The white underwear inside is perforated and looks like

It's exactly the same as the white spot on the paste!