Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Lucky day inquiry - What does the old man in the countryside mean when he says that his son-in-law is in bed and his family is ruined?
What does the old man in the countryside mean when he says that his son-in-law is in bed and his family is ruined?
I remember when I was a child, there was a girl in our village who asked her boyfriend to spend the night at her house when her parents were away. Later, the girl became pregnant, which became the explosive news in the village at that time. Immediately become people's talk after dinner. At that time, the social environment absolutely prohibited girls from getting pregnant before marriage. Later, the girl couldn't stand the harsh words of the villagers. I ran to the reservoir in the mountain and drowned myself. People's saliva devoured a young life alive, but it should really be said that the son-in-law went to bed and the family was ruined.
But now this is a bit out of date. If the son-in-law doesn't go to bed, can he be allowed to hit the floor? Whose son-in-law doesn't sleep? Our married sons-in-law here all follow their daughters-in-law back to their parents' homes. Of course, they must be sleeping in their mother-in-law's bed, and they have never seen anyone break up. What logic is this? Don't say now, even in ancient times, I'm afraid there is no saying that married son-in-law can't go to bed. This may be just a custom in a certain area.
We do have a local custom that a daughter can't let her son-in-law sleep in her mother-in-law's house before she gets married. However, with the development of social civilization today, even this custom is rarely followed. Of course, even if the society develops again, some people are still more traditional. Especially in rural areas, some parents are still quite feudal in nature. Even if the daughter has talked about the object for many years, as long as she is not married, she is not allowed to spend the night at the man's house. If the boyfriend must stay at home at night for special reasons, then the daughter must never live with her boyfriend.
A few years ago, if someone's son talked about a person, even if it was because of bad weather or other reasons, it was furtive to spend the night at her boyfriend's house. If the neighbors find out, people will point and laugh at this woman's frivolity. If the daughter is not married, it is even more outrageous to leave her boyfriend at home for the night. Neighbors will be laughed at if they find their unmarried son-in-law spending the night at their mother-in-law's house. Parents will never agree to let unmarried son-in-law spend the night in the mother-in-law's house, which may be the reason why the son-in-law in rural areas can't go to bed. This statement is out of date now.
In our eastern Henan province, there is no such saying and no such custom.
Every time I accompany my wife back to her mother's house, my mother-in-law will tidy up the room in advance and take out a new quilt for the husband and wife to use. It's just that my wife and mother-in-law always seem to have endless words and don't come back to sleep until midnight every day.
Of course, it is inevitable for couples to do something similar to making love, but they can't be as unscrupulous as at home. Although everyone is sleeping, they are still a little cautious, afraid of being heard by others, and they have to get up early the next day to clean up the battlefield.
In fact, they are all experienced people, and their parents-in-law always deliberately avoid them. There is a natural tacit understanding. My mother-in-law likes to get up early, and often waits for us to wake up before cooking.
We feel like a family. There is no need to separate you from me. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are also very enthusiastic about us. My brother-in-law has a successful career and a prosperous population. I don't see anything wrong with it.
It's another year's short holiday in Tomb-Sweeping Day. I believe many migrant workers will go back to their hometowns to visit their graves, and many married girls will also go back to their parents' homes during the small holiday in Tomb-Sweeping Day. Now that you are married, you must be married and have children when you go back to your parents' house. Some married girls are usually busy at work, so they want to stay at their parents' house for a few more days during a short vacation, but they can't share the same room with their husbands at night, which is the rural saying that "the son-in-law goes to bed, and the family is ruined." So sharing a room with my husband will really lead to the ruin of my parents' family?
Last year, neighbor Xiao Zhang refused to spend the night at her mother-in-law's house after returning home with her daughter-in-law in Tomb-Sweeping Day. Although Xiao Zhang's daughter-in-law is not a distant relative, it takes more than an hour to go back to her family, so Xiao Zhang will stay for a few days every time she goes back to her family. Before, Xiao Zhang sent his daughter-in-law away and drove back after lunch. Last year, Tomb-Sweeping Day caught up with the holiday, and Xiao Zhang and his daughter-in-law stayed at their parents' home for a few days. Who listened to Xiao Zhang? When sleeping that night, Xiao Zhang was arranged to sleep with her brother-in-law, and her daughter-in-law slept with her mother-in-law. It turns out that Xiao Zhang's daughter-in-law has a custom that a married girl can't sleep with her husband when she goes back to her family. Xiao Zhang's brother-in-law is fat and snores at night. So Xiao Zhang slept soundly for those nights, so when Xiao Zhang got home, he told his daughter-in-law that I would send you to your mother's house to live alone, and I wouldn't live with your brother.
In many areas, there is a custom that married girls can't sleep with their husbands at home. This custom has existed in most areas before, mainly related to the preference for sons over daughters in the past. People think that a daughter belongs to someone else's family after marriage. If a married girl sleeps with her husband, it will have a bad influence on her son. However, with the changing of people's ideas, this traditional custom has disappeared in many areas, but it is still circulating in some areas.
In the past, because the concept of son preference was too serious, except that the married girl could not sleep in a room with her husband, there was also the custom that the married girl could not go back to her parents' home on the first day of the New Year, and the married girl could not sit in her parents' home. Although we don't have the custom that married girls can't live at home with their husbands, the latter two customs still exist. An old neighbor's sister married into a family without a mother-in-law, and she was particularly worried about where to go for confinement after pregnancy. She has no one to take care of her confinement at home, but she can't go back to her mother's house to have her confinement. Fortunately, this sister's sister-in-law was reasonable and asked her to go back to her mother's house for confinement. According to her sister-in-law, she knows the importance of confinement to women. Although the old tradition is important, the health of her sister and baby is more important, so her neighbor's sister
With people's minds becoming more and more open now, many old traditions and old ideas have gradually disappeared from our lives. But for areas with these old traditions, we should also respect the traditional customs and habits left by these ancestors.
I come from Shangluo, Shaanxi, and we also have this custom here. The son-in-law goes to his parents' house and can't sleep in the same room as his daughter. He wants to sleep separately, saying that sleeping together will be bad for her family.
Cousin went back to her hometown after getting married. Because mom and dad were a little far away and the car was inconvenient, she left her brother's house when she got married. She and her husband went back to her brother's house directly, and her brother bought a house in the county, which was more convenient.
Her sister-in-law is her brother's second wife. She may be dissatisfied with her. She came back and asked for a night off, and specifically told her husband and wife to let them sleep in a room. As a result, they didn't shy away. They are also newlyweds, they don't understand these things, and no one tells them.
As a result, at dawn the next day, her sister-in-law called them husband and wife, saying that they were shameless and came to her house to bury people. Anyway, it was terrible to scold, threatened to deny them, and left early in the morning.
Then my parents and brother were also angry. This mistress is strong, scolding her mother-in-law for not teaching her daughter. My aunt also shed a lot of tears.
Most rural people are still taboo about these customs.
Are the dregs left over from feudal society. If the son-in-law sleeps in his father-in-law's bed, his father-in-law will die. Actually, I just don't treat my daughter like a human being.
My classmates and I come from the same city. The family didn't say that the daughter couldn't go home for the New Year. The classmates said that going home for the New Year would affect the younger brother.
The same city, not far apart, why are there two completely different customs? The reason is that boys are heavier than girls. My family treats children the same, so naturally there is no such thing as insulting my daughter. It is obviously disrespectful and insulting to the daughter that the classmate's family prefers boys to girls and her daughter is an outsider.
The most disgusting kind of patriarchal family, sons are mostly useless, parents are useless, and sons-in-law are needed for help everywhere. This classmate's family was poor, and his father failed in business. From then on, he ignored his family and only cared about his own happiness. Pay social security money or son-in-law pay money. Such people still look down on their son-in-law, calling them classmates' wives, and being scolded by their father-in-law that they should not be called wives.
Now this father-in-law still occupies a property in his classmate's house. Originally, this classmate wanted to rent out the house to pay off debts, but her father disagreed, saying that he should keep it as a holiday place for him, and write in big letters when he was free.
An incompetent man has the ugliest face and makes rules that are beneficial to him everywhere. These scum left behind now are all made by some incompetent men in ancient times.
Some incompetent men in modern times are also making rules, such as "colorful green", "unilateral, roadside and sideline", which are all made by some incompetent men in order to ask their son-in-law for money. It is precisely because there are too many such incompetent men that it has become a custom in the countryside.
What does the old man in the countryside mean when he says his son-in-law goes to bed? There are many reasons and special old sayings in the countryside. I don't know if you have heard the old saying that the son-in-law went to bed and ruined his family. This sentence sounds particularly serious and very infiltrating. So what does this mean? Today I will bring you to talk about this sentence!
In fact, this sentence means that after the daughter gets married, she can't share the same room and sleep in separate rooms when she goes back to her parents' house. This situation was especially common in ancient times. At that time, women didn't have any status, so the married girl returned to her family, which was an outsider without a cousin here. At that time, the old people thought that if her son-in-law and daughter shared the same room at their parents' house, it would bring bad luck to her family, and it might even be possible.
But in modern times, where will anyone care about this matter, let alone get married? Even now, many unmarried prospective sons-in-law go to their parents-in-law's house and live together aboveboard. My parents-in-law don't care about these little things at all. I wonder if I understand this sentence correctly?
There are many proverbs about the countryside, many of which are easy to understand. For example, the old man often said that "the son-in-law went to bed, and the family was ruined", which means that a married woman brought her husband (that is, the son-in-law of her father-in-law) back to her mother's house and spent the night there. If two people share the same bed, it will be very unfavorable to the woman's family, and it is very likely that the family will be ruined. So does this old saying make sense? The following specific analysis:
In the past, people thought that married women belonged to others. Just a guest who took her husband home to visit relatives. If she spends the night at her parents' house, she should also observe some customs, otherwise she will disrespect her family. In some places, it is a custom that the son-in-law and his wife go to their father-in-law's house to sleep at night. A man and his wife can't live together, otherwise it will have a bad influence on his father-in-law's family. As for the bad influence, no one has said it in detail. How many people have seen it?
In the view of rural cuisine, "the son-in-law went to bed and the family was ruined" exaggerated the relationship between the son-in-law and his father-in-law. It is a very happy thing for the son-in-law and his wife to visit their father-in-law and others at their in-laws home. Moreover, the road before was not so good, and it was quite busy to go back. If they wash clothes at night, they will have a good rest. What else can they do? Sharing a bed can lead to family breakdown and death. Maybe they are exaggerated.
If we say that "the son-in-law went to bed and his family was ruined", it may be that the relationship between the son-in-law and the old father-in-law is not good, and there are even great contradictions. The father-in-law doesn't want his daughter and son-in-law together. The son-in-law takes his daughter back to the father-in-law's house, and wants to sleep in a bed as usual at home, showing great love, which will cause dissatisfaction with the father-in-law's family and may lead to quarrels.
There is no saying in his hometown that "the son-in-law goes to bed, and the family is ruined." On the contrary, the son-in-law and his wife went to the father-in-law's house to live in a room and sleep together. If the two families are close, they will not stay overnight and go back to their home that day.
Of course, although the son-in-law and his wife can sleep in a bed at the old father's house for the night, if they don't worship their ancestors at the old father's house for special reasons when they get married, they can't sleep in a bed at the old father's house, but sleep in two rooms, otherwise it will affect the fortune of the old father's house; As for why there is such a statement, I asked my mother before, and she said she didn't know either. Anyway, this statement was handed down by the old people in the past, and no one dared to violate the rules. After thinking about it myself, I think it should be that the son-in-law and his daughter got a marriage certificate, but because they didn't worship the woman's ancestors when they got married, they were not really "married", so the daughter and son-in-law couldn't sleep in the same bed when they came back.
Xiang opera's "Cai Xiao" thinks that there is no practical basis for the old saying that "a son-in-law goes to bed and his family is ruined". Just like the old saying, "If you don't cut your hair in the first month, you will die if you cut your hair." Just cutting your hair can decide your uncle's life and death? I remember I cut my child's hair in the first month, the year before last, and I didn't see my uncle who influenced the child. His uncle is fine. Therefore, saying that "the son-in-law went to bed and the family was ruined" exaggerated the influence of the son-in-law on the father's family.
Hello, everyone, I am the creator of the field of agriculture, countryside and farmers, and I am very happy to answer this question for you. Let me tell you something about my son-in-law going to bed, and his family was ruined.
The phrase "son-in-law goes to bed, the family is ruined" is also found in my hometown, which is often said by the elderly. So what does "the son-in-law goes to bed, and the family is ruined" mean? The meaning of this sentence is easy to understand, that is, when the son-in-law and daughter go back to their parents' home together, if the son-in-law and daughter share the same bed, it will bring bad luck to the family and eventually destroy the family. But I think this statement is unreasonable. Let me give you my opinion.
Since you are a son-in-law, you are husband and wife. If husband and wife don't sleep in the same bed, who else will sleep in the same bed? Moreover, it is normal for a son-in-law and a daughter to sleep in the same bed, and it is not a bad thing. Just like all of us have a meal, how can ordinary things ruin her family? In my opinion, this statement has a long history, and it feels a bit of feudal superstition, but now we are anti-feudal superstition. We must not believe this statement. Some people think this is a tradition in some rural areas, but I don't think it's good. We need to abandon it. Son-in-law and daughter live in the same bed, which shows that their relationship is good, good for the family, not bad, and will not ruin the family. We still don't believe this statement. After all, it is not good for son-in-law and daughter. This is a bad habit and should be given up.
What does the old man in the countryside mean when he says that his son-in-law is in bed and his family is ruined?
It means that after the daughter gets married, the daughter and son-in-law go back to their parents' house to sleep in separate rooms and can't share the same room.
If the daughter and son-in-law go back to sleep in the same room, that is, the son-in-law goes to bed, it means that it will bring bad omen and bad luck, not literally, but literally to describe the seriousness of bad things!
In the past, there were really many rules in the countryside, just like those in TV dramas. Everything from eating to food, clothing, housing and transportation is taboo, such as the orientation of the house, facing north or south. You should choose according to the terrain, date and year, and you can't violate these laws. How to open doors and windows? Don't face the door of the house. Choose a good day to build the house! Don't wear white for marriage and red for funeral! Wait, wait, wait. Many rules!
Besides that, you can't put chopsticks in the rice and knock on the table with chopsticks! You can't say unlucky things during the Spring Festival! The fifteenth day of the first lunar month is for ancestor worship! These are everyday things, but in my opinion, these are old ideas, the times are developing, and some unfounded ideas should be abandoned!
My grandmother is a very conservative person, so we should do everything according to her rules. When we build a new house, we should advance the brazier before people move in. We should also tell our ancestors to bless the smooth progress. If I were you, I couldn't do these things, but for the sake of the elderly, we should follow her instructions!
On the other hand, the old man said that his son-in-law went to bed and his family was ruined. Have you considered what to do now that everyone is an only child? I often go back to my parents' house, and there is not enough room to sleep together, so I can't sleep in the living room! It is reasonable to share a room with the old couple! The law allows, why not!
Therefore, I think some backward and eliminated concepts in rural areas should be abandoned, and they can't keep up with the progress of the times. Old ideas without scientific basis, such as son-in-law going to bed and family destruction, should be changed! Save some reasonable rural customs!
There is a saying in the countryside: "Wild flowers go to bed, and the family is ruined." This old saying is easy to understand, and it is also the price to pay for marriage derailment. What does the son-in-law mean here? Actually, it means that a married daughter can't sleep with her husband when she goes back to her mother's house. Although this is a past statement, it seems that there are still some areas that have received such attention, but with the progress of society,
In fact, these are all feudal ideas. Not only married women can't sleep with their husbands when they go back to their parents' homes, but it seems that married prostitutes can't have children at their parents' homes. These are all reasons. Isn't the prostitute her own? She is determined to be herself, and these practices only work for her daughter. First, giving birth to a child was considered a filthy thing in the past, which would have a great impact on her family's fortune and feng shui, that is, parents would not say anything. Sister-in-law or aunt will also complain. Secondly, the married daughter is already a husband's family. Children are born for the sake of the family's family. Having a baby needs someone to take care of it. The baby born in her mother's house is not her own. This thankless thing can't be done. In addition to having children at her parents' home, she also pays attention to the statement that she can't sleep with her husband when she goes back to her parents' home.
There is also a saying in our village that married girls go back to their parents' homes and sleep in separate rooms. Husband and wife cannot share the same room. According to Lao Zhang at the east end of the village, the couple spent the night together at their parents' house. If they are pregnant and have children, they will take away their blessings and wealth, which is very unfavorable to their parents' fortune, and some will remove them by some means, that is, give money. In fact, it is also the same meaning, and there are not many restrictions. These are just a way to defend yourself.
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