What is the marriage custom in Nanyang now?

First, Nanyang folk old marriage customs

1, early marriage

In ancient times, even during the Republic of China, Nanyang folk marriage age was relatively broad, and people advocated early marriage. Generally speaking, the age of marriage is 16~20 years for men and 14~ 16 years for women. Influenced by feudal Confucianism, people attach importance to the happiness of having more children, and they can have children as soon as they get married. In addition, people think that "there are three kinds of unfilial, and nothing is great." In order to let the family inherit and continue the incense earlier, the phenomenon of early marriage was born. /kloc-Early marriage under the age of 0/6 is common. There is almost no phenomenon of late marriage. In people's minds, the ideal is that men are one to three years older than women. There is a folk saying that "men are bigger than women, holding gold bricks, and women are bigger than men, crying". However, some families are willing to give their sons an older wife in order to let their daughters-in-law do housework and farm work after going through the door. This is not uncommon in Nanyang in the old society. ?

2. Finger-belly marriage

If two relatives and friends are close and parents get along well, two housewives can get engaged at the same time for their unborn children and get married at a certain age. This phenomenon is commonly known as "finger marriage". This marriage custom disappeared after liberation. ?

3. Child marriage

In some poor families with many children, in order to relieve parents' financial pressure, they often adopt a girl for their son at a low price when he is still young, and then marry him when men and women reach marriageable age. This kind of marriage is commonly known as "child marriage". "Child marriage" is a disguised form of trafficking for women from poor families with many children. After a woman is bought by her husband's family, during the unmarried period, a man and a woman are regarded as brothers and sisters, and future in-laws are regarded as father and daughter, mother and daughter. Outsiders call it a child bride. This marriage custom did not disappear in some remote rural areas until the national liberation in 1949. ?

4. "There are six ceremonies to get married, namely winning the lottery, asking the name, Najib, accepting marriage, inviting parties and welcoming in person."

These six ceremonies include the whole process from matchmaking to marriage. In the old days, Nanyang folk wedding etiquette followed six rites. But according to family conditions, each link is complicated and simple.

1) Nacai

Na Cai means that if the man takes a fancy to a woman of a certain age, he asks the matchmaker to propose to her. If the woman thinks that the door is right and agrees to propose, the man will propose to her with a gift. ?

2) Ask your name

Ask the name, commonly known as "Guo Ba Zi", "Gai Geng Tie" and "Gai Long Feng Tie", and the two sides formally exchange the date of birth to see if there is any difference. The names, official titles and places of residence of the three generations of both parties should be indicated on the Geng post. After the exchange of this post between men and women, it is equivalent to sketching the engagement. ?

3) Najib

Naji, the ancestor of the man who prayed to the temple, was determined by divine power whether the marriage was suitable or not. After the man prayed for good luck, he prepared a gift to inform his wife and decided to get married. Later, this etiquette gradually evolved into a small gift, commonly known as a small hire. The man gives the woman some property, usually jewelry, clothes, etc. And the woman should thank her with shoes, hats and other things. At this point, the two sides engaged, under normal circumstances, can not go back on our word. Both men and women issued formal letters of appointment. ?

4) Zheng Na

Zheng Na, also known as Nabi, is commonly known as "lost property" among Nanyang people. After the marriage contract is concluded, both men and women hold a banquet on auspicious days to exchange betrothal gifts. The man wants to give the woman a certain amount of property, and the woman answers with a certain amount of property, commonly known as "dowry". The amount of bride price depends on the family's economic situation, ranging from tens to hundreds. ?

Invite a date

Invitation, commonly known as "seeing off" among Nanyang people, means that after the man chooses the wedding date, the matchmaker takes the man's appointment book to the woman's house to discuss the wedding date. This date was chosen by the fortune teller according to the date of birth of men and women.

In the old society, people often set the wedding date in spring, autumn and winter, especially in autumn and winter. First, because the busy farming in autumn and winter is over, crops have been harvested, and there is more money on hand, so it is easy to get funds. Second, because Nanyang is cool in autumn and cold in winter, the food used for wedding banquets is not easy to corrupt and easy to preserve; Third, according to the principle of yin and yang and five elements, there are many good days in autumn and winter, especially in the twelfth lunar month, and basically every day is a good day. The day after the eighth day of the twelfth lunar month and the twenty-third of the twelfth lunar month is a good day for anyone to choose, and there is no taboo. After choosing the wedding date, the man should prepare a generous gift for the woman, and the woman will return the gift to show her gratitude and actively prepare a dowry to accompany her. Rich families often marry four kinds of dowry, that is, a full set, a half set or a box, a table, a cupboard and a chair. If the family's economic conditions are not good, simply organize the wedding. ?

Kissing and greeting

Kissing means getting married on the date agreed by both men and women. This is the last procedure of an old-fashioned wedding. At dusk that day, the groom personally led the honor guard and sedan chair to the woman's house to pick up the bride as a sign of seriousness. ?

The child bride and widow remarried.

Widows remarried, which was regarded as a disgraceful thing in the old society, so in order to hide people's eyes and ears instead of being picked up by the man in an ox cart at night, weddings were not allowed.

6. "big wedding"

The wedding lasted three days. Invite matchmakers, relatives and friends to pay New Year greetings with invitations in advance, arrange lanterns, put up couplets and play drums. When getting married, the teacher of Yin and Yang will pick up the sedan chair and sit in it. In front of the sedan chair, someone laid a blanket and lit firecrackers. Behind the sedan chair, there are two lanterns, two torches, two large-caliber shotguns with three eyes, gongs, colorful flags, suona and so on. When they arrived at the woman's house, everyone rushed out. The bride wore a dress and covered her face with a red veil. She sat in a chair and was carried into a sedan chair by all her brothers. According to the convention, the bride's red hijab was taken to the sedan chair from her parents' home, and no matter what happened along the way, she was not allowed to take it off until she reached the man's door. Only when we get to the bridal chamber and wait until the wedding ceremony is over can the groom unveil it, commonly known as "uncovering the veil".

From the sedan chair to the man's house, the man's house holds a red-hot plow and pours white wine, which is also commonly known as "holding your temper." After that, the groom went out to meet him and bowed to the sedan chair, commonly known as "worshipping the sedan chair door". After the ceremony, the two bridesmaids helped the bride out of the sedan chair with their hands and walked to the table of heaven and earth-a square table covered with red cloth. ?

7. Worship ceremony

It is the most solemn etiquette in traditional marriage customs in Nanyang. There are usually three kinds of worship, one is heaven and earth, the other is Gaotang, and the third is that husband and wife get married together, and then the bride and groom go into the bridal chamber together and have a glass of wine, and they become legal couples.

Although the worship ceremony of the church originated very early, there are some factors that are not in line with the current world trend, but it can not be simply classified as feudal dross and blindly abolished without analysis. As a symbolic behavior, it has been passed down through the ages because of its rich cultural connotation.

Heaven and earth are the space for human existence, and the worship of heaven and earth reflects human desire for survival and a better life.

Both men and women should thank their parents for their upbringing, which is not only in line with ancient etiquette, but also in line with today's morality. Couples paying homage can better reflect the connotation of traditional wedding ceremonies.

On the long road of life in the future, husband and wife share joys and sorrows, and need to love each other and understand each other, and worship is the beginning of this relationship. After that, it is to entertain guests. ?

8. A noisy room

At night, everyone plays and fights, commonly known as "noisy room". ?

The next day, the bride and groom kowtowed to their parents, relatives and elders, and the recipient gave money on the spot, no matter how much.

9. Back to the door?

Three days later, the bride and groom went back to their parents' home to visit relatives, commonly known as "returning to the door." Nanyang Huimen custom, also known as worshipping the door, prevailed in the Song Dynasty. When returning home, the man should prepare gifts for the woman. On the day of going home, the son-in-law will go home after the banquet, and shall not stay at his daughter's house. Whether the bride will come back or not depends on the actual situation. This custom has remained unchanged for thousands of years. The wedding is now complete. ?

10, in terms of marriage customs, both men and women pay attention to harmony and auspiciousness.

Harmony occupies an important position in Confucian philosophy and has a profound social foundation in the history of China. Harmony is the essence of the humanistic spirit of China culture. "Poetry and books between heaven and earth are the most precious, and harmony within the family comes first". China's diverse ancient cultures all believe that harmony is the condition and foundation for the existence of all things in the universe, so it is also the highest goal pursued by human beings and the basic principle for handling all personnel.

The marriage culture in Nanyang is full of profound harmonious philosophy and harmonious ethical atmosphere. As far as concrete performance is concerned, it is harmony, moral harmony and human harmony. ?

1), Shunhe

It means that people's behavior and mood in folk marriage should be in a natural state with the ecological environment, rather than violating natural ecological ethics. It pursues peace of mind and impatience of behavior, and deals with various problems in marriage in a natural way and attitude. People regard nature as the law, not inaction as nature, which is a form of "doing" and a kind of "inaction"

Lao Tzu said, "If you want to take it, you must repair it first.". In the folk marriage culture, the second meaning of harmony is doing nothing for nature. Specifically, it is kindness, frugality and modesty. Kindness is kindness, which emphasizes that people should have love and empathy, and should not have an indifferent and impartial attitude. This is the source of power for people to live in harmony with the natural ecological environment.

2) Dehe

Virtue harmony in folk marriage culture means that both parties to a marriage should not only be endless, but also renew their virtues when dealing with the ethical relationship with the natural ecology. Nanyang folk wedding attaches great importance to the high harmony between man and natural ecological environment, and the sun, the moon, the four seasons and the twists and turns are wonderful. We can see that the parties are cautious in choosing the date from the words "careful choice" and "good will" before each date is set in the writing of wedding invitations, so as to be in line with the gods without violating the nature of heaven and earth. This harmonious and orderly coordination is a dynamic display of people and everything in the world.

In Nanyang people's view, people's marriage behavior is easy to conflict with everything in nature. In addition to the harmony between all parties, the most important thing is to respect each other with everything in nature. Only in this way can the two sides live endlessly, that is, "harmonious creatures." At the same time, it is not enough to only have "harmonious creatures", but also to improve their moral level. The purpose of harmony between heaven and earth is to breed new things, which is the internal essential reason why some old customs in folk marriage customs are gradually replaced by new ones. ?

3) Human harmony

Folk marriage customs also fully contain the desire and hope of harmonious coexistence between the parties and between the parties and other relatives and friends. On the one hand, it expounds how to take responsibility by doing what is stipulated in various marriage customs voluntarily, that is, everyone should bear a fair share and burden in such marriage activities, on the other hand, it puts forward that the customs involved should conform to the ethical spirit of Confucianism. It is a kind of truth and value orientation, which not only rationally regulates people's life freedom and equal rights, but also guarantees everyone's integrity in personality and dignity. It contains rich political, economic and ethical contents.

Everyone loves each other and helps each other, which is the internal moral basis of people's harmonious marriage and the external cultural feature that human beings can go out of their homes and turn into society. If both sides of the marriage vilify each other and resent each other, it will only intensify contradictions and create estrangement. The relationship between people is an important structural factor in the marriage network. Only by putting it in a harmonious background and following the spirit of harmony can we coordinate the relationship between the two parties in marriage and the body, family and country. For example, in Nanyang folk wedding custom, the man chooses the wedding date through divination. In order to show his respect for the woman's family, he still asks the matchmaker to go to her house and let her set the wedding date. With this comity first, the woman's family will generally be happy to say that everything is subject to the man's family. ?

Second, the new society, changing customs.

Nowadays, young people in Nanyang have been integrated into the whole society, and their marriage has become a common practice, and they are no longer bound by the old red tape.

According to Lao Zhou's observation in the province, the wedding procedure in Nanyang is basically the same as that in other regions, so I won't go into details here.