Etiquette and custom in the traditional marriage custom of Han nationality

1, three books: according to the traditional etiquette of the Han nationality, it refers to the documents exchanged in the process of employment, that is, the "letter of appointment"-the letter of appointment, which is exchanged at the time of engagement; "Gift Book"-a list of gifts, which lists the types and quantities of gifts in detail and will be exchanged when giving gifts; "Wedding Book"-a book for marrying the bride, which is used when picking up the bride on the wedding day.

2. Six rites: refers to the process from matchmaking to marriage. They are "talented"-commonly known as matchmakers, that is, the man's family asks the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's family, and the woman's family promises to propose marriage, and the man's family prepares gifts to propose marriage; "Ask the name"-commonly known as the eight characters, ask the matchmaker to ask the woman's date of birth and name to prepare for the wedding ceremony; "Naji"-that is, after the man's family has a good omen, he will prepare a gift to inform the woman's family that the marriage is preliminarily agreed; "Zheng Na"-also called a gift, the man chooses an auspicious day to hold an engagement gift at the woman's house; "Please invite"-choose an auspicious day to get married. In the past, auspicious days of the zodiac were usually bimonthly and bimonthly, and I didn't like to choose March, June, November and Wednesday with scattered voices. I don't choose six because I don't want a half-life marriage; 1 1 month is full of meaning. "Kissing"-On the wedding day, the man personally went to the woman's house with a congratulatory letter to marry the bride.

3, bed: a few days before the wedding, choose a good day, spread bedding and sheets on the new bed, then spread the dragon and phoenix quilt, sprinkle all kinds of happy fruits, such as peanuts, red dates, longan, lotus seeds and so on. In other words, the couple will have a baby early. Those who lift the bed, make the bed, and sprinkle happy fruits are all carefully selected "lucky"-parents are alive, brothers and sisters are complete, marriage is harmonious, and children are in pairs. Naturally, I hope that such people can bring good luck to the newcomers.

4. Dowry: The dowry of a woman's family is a symbol of her family status and wealth. The dowry will be delivered to the in-laws at the latest the day before the wedding. In addition to clothes and ornaments, dowry is mainly a good omen, such as scissors, which means Hu Die and Qi Fei; Spiton, also known as the children's fight; Vase, meaning flowers bloom with wealth; Shoes mean growing old together; Feet, meaning fertile land and so on. Of course, customs and pay attention to different places.

5. Above: Pre-marital ceremony of both men and women. It is also a good day to choose. Men and women comb their hair in their own homes and say loudly at the same time: comb it to the end, comb it to Qi Mei with white hair, comb it to the children and grandchildren, and comb it to four silver bamboo shoots. "Climbing to the top" is a very exquisite ceremony. Comb your hair with a new comb, and the person who helps "the top" must be a "full-blessed person", that is, this person is a person with six relatives and a house full of children.

6. Hold a red umbrella: On the wedding day, the bride's sister or maid of honor will hold her mother's door and stand in the open air. The elder sister or bridesmaid will hold a red umbrella on the bride's head, which means "spreading the branches and leaves" and scatter rice to the sky and the top of the umbrella.

7. Change the genealogy: The families of the man and the woman exchange genealogy with each other as evidence of engagement. After the matchmaker proposes marriage, if the characters of men and women do not conflict, the two sides will change the Geng spectrum.

8. Give a big gift: The man will choose an auspicious day and bring some gifts to the woman's house. Gifts are generally three sacrifices, wine gifts, etc. , and formally issued a letter of appointment. "Guo Wen Ding" will be followed by the "Guo Da Li" ceremony, which is the most grand and important engagement ceremony. Because after this ceremony, it's like a formal engagement. Like Guo, men will choose an auspicious day and bring the same dowry and various gifts to the woman's home; And the woman's family will also prepare gifts in return. Gifts are even to get the meaning of "yes man".

9. Weeping to marry: According to the Book of Rites: "Confucius said: Marry a woman's family, stay in the candle for three nights, and think about parting." In ancient times, it was difficult for a daughter to see her family after she got married because of the inconvenient modern transportation. In fact, married women can't go back to their parents' homes to visit relatives at any time, as they do today, and they need the consent of their husband's family. In addition, some people say that crying marriage originated from the fact that ancient women could not marry freely, so they would use the song of crying marriage to accuse the unfair marriage system in ancient times.

10, hijab: Brides usually cover their heads with a square red scarf three feet long on one side. This kind of red scarf is called "hijab", commonly known as hijab. There are generally two opinions about the wedding custom of hijab: one thinks that hijab is to hide shame; There is also a saying that originated from predatory marriage in ancient times, which means that the bride can never find her way back after covering her head.

1 1. Wedding: In ancient times, the man had to attend the wedding. "Greeting" is the most solemn etiquette among the six rites. Without the groom, there is no married bride. In ancient times, there were people on foot and by car, and it was more common to greet them with eight-person sedan chairs. People in sedan chairs must be strong. Don't touch someone else's sedan chair. You must walk around. When you come back from the wedding ceremony, you have to find a way to go back so that you won't go back. If you pass through temples, shrines, graves, wells, rivers and other places on the way, the married man should cover the sedan chair with a red carpet as a means of "avoiding evil spirits". If you meet a funeral procession on the road, the person who greets the wedding will say, "Lucky today, you have met a treasure!" " "Because the homonym of the coffin is' viewing wealth', which means seeing treasure. This is mainly for the sake of good luck.

12. Visiting the church: also known as "worshipping heaven and earth", it is a very important ceremony in the wedding. "Visiting the church" does not belong to the ancient "three books and six rituals". This marriage custom was very popular after the Song Dynasty. After "visiting the church", the woman officially became a member of the man's family. When "paying homage to the church", the master of ceremonies presiding over the wedding will say loudly: "One worships heaven and earth, the other worships the high hall, and the husband and wife worship the church and enter the bridal chamber together." In fact, worship of heaven and earth represents the worship of the god of heaven and earth; And worshipping Gaotang is the embodiment of filial piety; As for the worship of husband and wife, it means that husband and wife respect each other as guests.

13, Going out: Going out means that the bride leaves her family. At the auspicious time, the woman must be carried on the sedan chair by Sister Daikin. It is said that it will bring bad luck if the bride lands on her feet. When going out, the bride's sister-in-law is not allowed to send it away. This is because the word Sister-in-law has the homonym of jinx, so people believe that going out to send her away will bring her bad luck. When the bride goes out, the bridesmaid holds up a red umbrella to protect the bride, which means spreading her branches and leaves. While walking, Sister Dajin and other sisters sprinkled rice on the sky, the roof of the umbrella and the roof of the flower car to "feed the golden rooster", which means that the chicken will not peck the bride after pecking the rice. Finally, before boarding the float, the bride will bow to her relatives and friends to show her gratitude.

14. Going through the door: Going through the door means that the bride officially enters the man's house after leaving the woman's house to meet the elder of the man's house. Legend has it that Aunt Weng can't directly see the newcomers entering the door in the lobby because there will be a collision. So when the woman enters the man's house, Weng Gu will come out of the room and meet the couple in the hall. Then the bride and groom will worship heaven and earth first, and then their ancestors. Newcomers will offer tea to Aunt Weng and bow down. Aunt Weng will say some greetings and send jewelry and gifts to the bride. The bride should wear the ornaments as soon as she receives them to show her gratitude. Then, the couple will offer tea to other elders and relatives.

15, three dynasties: mothering, three dynasties refers to the third day after marriage, accompanied by her husband, the newcomer returned to her mother's house with roast pigs and gifts to worship her ancestors, and then returned to her husband's house with her husband; According to legend, there was such a custom in the pre-Qin period. Mothering-in-law means going back to my mother's high school to report peace to my parents. In ancient times, modern transportation was inconvenient. If a woman wants her husband's family to stay away from her mother's family, she may not have a chance to return to her mother's family after marriage. Therefore, returning to the door may be a woman's last chance to set foot in the family. Because of this, people attach great importance to visiting their parents, which is a wedding custom. When going home, men need to prepare: a roast pig, two boxes of cakes, a pair of wine, two bamboo sticks, a pair of chickens, lettuce, two baskets of raw fruit, two boxes of sticky rice noodles, two pounds of chicken lanterns, two pounds of pork belly and pork.

16, make-up: It is a ceremony that the man's family sends someone to bring gifts to urge the woman's family to make up for the bride as soon as possible. In the Song Dynasty, three days before the wedding, the male family would give the female family ornaments, gold hijabs and flower fans, and the female family would use gold and silver to win over the royal family, Hualuopu heads, green robes and boots.

17. Makeup delivery: A few days before the wedding ceremony, the woman's family sent someone to deliver the dowry to the man's family. Dowry is often packed in boxes, and some people spread it out with the square table to show off their dowry and send it to the man's house in a row. Dowry usually includes boxes, bedding, jewelry, clothes, silks and satins, Four Treasures of the Study and gold and silver utensils, as well as fields, houses, shops and pawn shops. In Zhejiang, there is a kind of dowry called "Tong Tong" (there is a big lid on the bucket for the bride to have a baby). The bucket contains red eggs and happy fruit, which is called "giving away children" and means blessing. In Shaoxing area, there is "daughter wine" as a dowry, that is, after the daughter is full moon or a few years old, that is, several winemaking jars are buried in the ground and taken out as dowry gifts for the man's family on the day of her marriage.

2 1, Noisy Room: In modern times, this is a ceremony for newlyweds to receive congratulations on their wedding night and frolic in their new house. There is a folk saying that "it doesn't matter if you get married for three days" and "the louder you are, the happier you are". Different places have different ways and methods of "noisy rooms", and the degree of noisy is also divided into elegance and vulgarity. Sometimes it is too much, which often brings embarrassment and unhappiness to both the host and the guest, but because it adds a warm atmosphere to the wedding, this program is often essential in later weddings.