Ma Stand-up Crosstalk "Eat jiaozi"

Say such a stand-up comedy. Why not tell a story? Because you don't have to laugh when listening to stories, you must laugh when listening to cross talk. But if you really don't laugh, I can't help it.

I said that this period is not something of the present, but something of the Qing Dynasty. What year? At the same time of salt. The man said: there is no such title? Because I was either in Xianfeng or Tongzhi, I can't remember!

This happened in Jining, Shandong Province. There is such a rich family with four sons. Although they are brothers, the four boys have different tempers. The boss is very loyal; The second child is honest; Only this old man can be as treacherous and slick as he is, and he doesn't eat at all, and people don't pay him when he makes friends. He is simply a porcelain rooster, an iron crane, a glass mouse and a glass cat. Simply, he can't pull out a hair! This old four is not only honest but also quiet. He looked down on his third son's behavior, but he still answered a few words when others talked to him. What did the third child ask him? He just said "No", "Yes" and "Hum". The longer the days, the more they object. The third one called him a fool. When I was a child, studying together was a different furnace of ice and charcoal, but when I was older, I couldn't get together!

This year happens to be a big year, and I want to go to Beijing to catch the exam. His father chose a good day and told them to start. The night before I left, my third son stayed up all night. I thought: I can't take a fool. He is so irritating that I don't know how to ask him to go. The next day, I discussed with my eldest brother and second brother: "eldest brother and second brother, hurry up and take the exam. We don't want to take the exam for fourth brother." The boss listened: "Why?" The third said, "He can't get there without studying." "Then leave him alone. He won't come back without winning, and it didn't cost you money. Four people can go if they want, or not at all. " The second child also advocates this. The third child is human, but his arm can't twist his thigh. If you think of another bad idea, you will think of other ways; When he left in a hurry after dinner, his father walked out of the door himself. His brother was about to leave when he got on the horse. The third child stopped him: "Big Brother, Second Brother, let's go?" The boss said, "What else?" "Why are we going to Beijing?" "Catch the exam!" "What are you doing in the examination room?" "Make a fuss!" "Again, how can he make a fuss if he doesn't learn?" "What about you?" "I said, now let's make a poem, one for each of our four brothers. If you want to say this poem, you must follow it to Beijing and connect a poem. The boss said I was the eldest brother, so I came first: "Go out and carve the saddle. "The second brother said," Get on the horse and take the whip. The third said, "Who will win this trip?" -Your turn. "Old four said," Hey! " The third said, "Say it?" "It's over." "Why did you say a word just now? "The boss said," Yes, although his words are big, he can control our fifteen words. The third said, "Is that okay?" ""who cares, go out and carve on the saddle, and the horse will whip the whip. Ask, who won this? He said' za', yes, that's him. Let's go. "Come on, let's go. Old one is so angry!

The four brothers were walking forward when they saw a funeral. The third one looked at it and immediately stopped: "Hey! -eldest brother and second brother, we went out and had a funeral. When you go out and meet a coffin, you can make money. Let's make a poem on this topic. Brother, you go first. " The boss said, "Well, listen to me. The villa met a bite. " The second child said, "Many people are waiting to carry him." The third said, "It was carried to the cemetery." Old four said, "Bury!" "Say it!" "it's over." "Eldest brother, why did he say another word?" The boss said, "Yes, the coffins are all in the cemetery. If they are not buried, are they still there? " The third child said, "How's it going?" The boss said, "How's it going? Go! " Then let's go.

Further on, as soon as I left the village, I met a daughter-in-law, with a flag-gong umbrella fan in front and a sedan chair in the back. The third child pulled back his horse and said, "Hey! -eldest brother, second brother, look at this wife. " The boss said: "Take this as the topic, everyone will write a poem." The third said, "Just do what you think." The boss said, "nonsense, you can get it without this idea!" " I said, I met a sedan chair when I left the village. The second child said, "The gong is on in front." . "The third child said," All the relatives and friends are very happy. "Old four said," Laugh! " "Go ahead!" "It's over." "Eldest brother, why did he say a word again? "The boss said," Yes, why are you crying when you marry a daughter-in-law? "? " The third said, "well ... let's go." Old three is so angry!

Go further and see an ancient temple in the distance. The third bridle: "Hey! -eldest brother, second brother, look at this temple. " The boss said, "Don't talk nonsense, everyone will say something. I will say first that there are monks in the ancient temple. " The second child said, "There is an upside-down bell." He saw the bell tower. The third said, "I called 108 times in a row." Old four said, "Hum!" The third child said, "Do you have any other words?" The boss said, "Yes, ringing the bell is buzzing ... not to mention 108 and 2 16." The second child said, "Stop talking nonsense and let's go."

2007-9-1121:46 Reply 222. 133. 107. * Go further on the second floor, the sun has set in the west. In front of it, we came to a county town. When we reached the moat, there was a bridge. This bridge is a single-plank bridge. A gentleman wants to cross the bridge. Try it with a horse pole. This bridge is too narrow to cross. The third said, "Mr. Xianmu crossed the river. Let's write a poem." The boss said, "All right! See the wooden bridge from a distance. " The second child said, "Walk here and shake there." The third child said, "The gentleman who admits his mistake dares not pass." Old four said, "Go around!" The old man said, "Let's go around, too."

Entering the city, there is a shop on the south side of the main street. The white wall here says "Anyu businessman" and on the other side says "official". The third said, "Don't go, let's stay in a hotel." I went to the store and found three rooms. I haven't eaten. I just ordered some. After dinner, the boss said, "Go to bed early, and we will be on our way tomorrow." The third child stayed up all night, thinking: this fool has been saying a word, and the eldest brother also said that he was right. How irritating this thing is. If I call Beijing from here, I'm still not angry. Just find a way to starve the fool back. He thought of a way. I deserved it when I saw it the next morning. It is raining! The third child was so happy that he quickly called the shop assistant: "Go and buy us something, two catties of beef and three catties of white flour, two zucchini, onions, garlic, oil, salt, firewood and water. Here are two taels of silver, and I'll give you the rest when I buy something. " "Thank you." Little buddy will buy it back soon. Ask the waiter to help him chop meat, fill stuffing and fill noodles. Just call them three brothers: "Big Brother, Second Brother, Fourth Brother, it's getting late, get up." The boss said, "OK, OK, let's pack our bags quickly." The third said, "I can't go, it's raining outside!" " Big Brother and Second Brother, it's cloudy today. Let's eat jiaozi. "The boss said," that much trouble. "The third said," Don't bother, the noodles are ready and the stuffing is ready. I gave you two pieces of silver to buy things. I won't ask you for it. " The boss thought, isn't he such a kind person at ordinary times? I didn't know he was hungry, old four. The three of us washed our faces and washed our mouths. The third son said, "We are the young masters of the family. When tea comes, rice comes. ":Go outside and do it if you want. My idea is: Eat rice and drink water as soup. Now that the noodles are ready and the stuffing is ready, all that remains is pulling medicine, rolling skin, boiling, wrapping, fishing and lighting. Come and share it, big brother. What are you doing? " The boss said, "I am pulling medicine and rolling dough." The second child said, "I cook and I fish." The third said, "I'll pack my bags and make a fire." Old four? ""eat! " "Eat, eat, you still say something!" Heart says I want you to eat. Many hands make light work. After a while, jiaozi got it, fished out the two iron pots, and set chopsticks and plates. The boss sat aside and said, "I'm really hungry." I can eat first. The third said, "Wait a minute! Is this jiaozi free? "The boss said to himself, I knew he didn't have such a good heart." Isn't this two taels of silver? I'll give it to you. The third said, "No, you are wrong." Not only do you want to eat jiaozi every day from today, but I also tell you that I pay every day. But in one section, I have one condition. ""what conditions? " "Starting today, we will eat, drink, sleep, sit and lie down, and we will all write poems. Old four, you can understand that this time we are called new poetry, and there are no restrictions on a few words, as long as it rhymes. " Eldest brother said, "seven words count. "The second brother said," As long as the five words rhyme, it will do. "I can say four words. If you want to say three words, just say it. " The boss said, "I said it first." The third said, "Don't be busy, I'm not finished yet! As you know, poetry is not limited to a few words, and my intersection can be limited. We are one word and one intersection. For example, eldest brother eats seven words of jiaozi, and second brother eats five words of jiaozi. You say six words and eat six. Go ahead. " Hearing this, the boss said, this is the fourth starving child. Originally, he just said one word at a time. Managing a jiaozi with one word didn't make him hungry! The boss wanted to take this as his brother's style, so he said, "Where are we eating or making trouble?" What kind of poem are you talking about? Stop talking and eat. "The third child said," If you don't tell anyone to eat, I can lift the table first. "the second child said," eldest brother, then you tell me. " The boss said, "What did you say? So, big guy, is he full of jiaozi? "The second child said," Don't worry, big brother, aren't we going to talk more? "We have enough left for him to eat." The boss said, "What's the topic?" The third said, "Suit yourself." Boss saw a bird's nest under the eaves outside, so we took it as a topic and said, "I looked up and saw a bird's nest." These are my seven words. Let me dial seventy cents. "The third said," Don't do it, I'll do it. "Took a small plate, took a pair of chopsticks, put jiaozi in the basin. One folder, one word. "Look up, look, look, one, swallow, nest, hey, you eat seven. "Look at the second child: dig by the word! I said, "There are eight or nine little swallows in it. I also have seven here. I'll dial it myself "Put it in a bowl and smash the chopsticks. The third child said, "It's all broken. How can I eat it?"? "The second child said," Where are you in charge? "I scooped a little soup with a spoon." I'm eating meatballs with a piece of soup. Go ahead. "The third thought, the eldest brother said he looked up and saw a bird's nest, and the second brother said there were eight or nine Xiaoyan in it. This Xiaoyan can't eat. I said that the geese went out to fight for food and came back to feed the geese, so the fool had to say hello and let him eat a jiaozi. Yes! " Swallows come out of their nests to eat! Old four, you say. "Old four, the word" hello "is on the tip of my tongue. Let the boss cover his mouth in the past. " Say hello! "Old four said," this is just feed back to eat! ""The boss said, "How can I support you? To feed you in the nest, you can eat four more. If you feed me later, you can eat three more, first, then or both. The third said, "Why are you in such a hurry?" Old four said, "Big Brother, eat as much as you say?" The boss said, "Why don't you get it? One word controls a jiaozi, and the more the better. " Fourth brother said, "Third brother, remember to count for me." The third said, "OK, you go." Old four said, "Let me talk about geese ..." Old three almost twisted his nose. When he came home, he didn't say a word. This time, he said nothing about a jiaozi. "Ok, you can eat seven." Old four rolled his eyes: "Why should I eat seven?" "You say seven words, but you can't eat seven?" "I have something to say!" "What else?" "There are many!" "good! Then you can say it. " "Third brother, you remember the number for me!" The third said, "OK, I'll count it for you." "I put away the swallow, ate out of the nest early in the morning, spread my wings, flew over Sanli Peach Blossom Store and crossed Wuli Apricot Slope. There was good wine in front of the Peach Blossom Store and beautiful scenery in front of it. It's very easy to get enough food, lick your wings and collect feathers into your nest. As soon as the wild goose entered the nest door, the little wild goose saw the laughter and called her mother. Listen, you are cooking outside, and I am really hungry. As soon as the geese saw it, they grabbed the food and fed it, feed it like this, feed it like that, feed it like that, feed it like that ... "The third child said," Don't count it, jiaozi is all yours! "