Marriage custom in Feixian County, Shandong Province?

Every town has different customs, so it's better to ask your family!

But generally speaking, the custom should be like this:

marriage customs

Marriage-also known as "taking a wife".

Before the founding of the People's Republic of China, the marriage of Han men and women was basically arranged by their parents, and the parties could not make their own decisions. When getting married, except for the landlord's lavishness and ostentation, ordinary farmers do what they can according to their own economic conditions, with low expenses and simple procedures. However, influenced by feudal tradition, superstition is strong. From the early years of the Republic of China to the founding of the People's Republic of China, the marriage procedure is roughly as follows:

When a man and a woman propose marriage at the age of 12 or 13, most of them are arranged by the matchmaker or the parents of boys and girls voluntarily, and propose marriage at the woman's house (generally not with the same surname), which is nothing more than showing that a family is loyal, hardworking, honest, rich and able to live. Then introduce the family situation and economic income, which is often exaggerated. After inquiring and visiting, the woman thinks that the portal is quite suitable, that is, ask the matchmaker to get the boy's birthday card (that is, the date of birth) and ask Mr. Erzhai or fortune teller to marry him. If you belong to the same family, such as "two dragons (dragons and snakes) in the same bed are either absolutely poor", "Golden roosters are afraid of jade dogs, chickens and monkeys communicate with tears, snakes and tigers are like knives and files, and sheep and mice once retired", you can't get married; The original two relatives, but also depends on whether the seniority is the same, if the two sides are not of the same generation, that is, "no generation", it is difficult to get married. If the genus is consistent and unavoidable, you can consider allowing relatives. In this process, neither side participates, and both parents make decisions.

Xia Cambodia is also called "Xia Pin", also known as "Guo Xiaohong" and "Xia Hong Dianhua". After the woman agreed to get married, the man chose the matchmaker in Jiri Central to hold an invitation (commonly known as "Cambodia") with both men and women written on it, and then took two packs of snacks, two pairs of earrings and two tapes (for leggings) to the woman's house. The woman's family accepted invitations and gifts, hosted a banquet for the matchmaker, and then sent shoes, socks, hats and towels. Since then, the two sides formally engaged, generally can not go back on our word. From then on, whenever there is a wedding, funeral and wedding, both parents communicate with each other as in-laws.

The next day, also called "Too Red", men and women began to talk about marriage at the age of fifteen or sixteen. After the mediation of the matchmaker, the two sides reached a tacit understanding. The man asked Mr. Erzhai to check a good day (usually in the slack season), write an invitation and prepare four-color gifts: a pair of chickens (a male and a female) and a pair of fish (mostly silver carp, mostly squid and carp). In recent years), and a knife (usually cut pork kidneys or ribs into rectangles, weighing 5), prepare two coats and noodles, and send them to the woman's house by the central matchmaker. The woman gave a banquet and then gave some gifts in return.

Busy married women began to prepare wedding dresses after receiving the "Day". Rich people often make a fuss, make eight kinds of dowry (up to sixteen kinds) to show off, and even buy small copper hammers to eat walnuts; Most people buy "three pieces" (one cabinet, one table and two stools). Those who are a little richer use cabinets instead of tables, which are called "small five pieces", and those who have cabinets and tables are called "big five pieces". The poor should at least buy copper pots, tin lamps and a table and cupboard. Try to buy other daily necessities. When getting married, put peanuts, walnuts, chestnuts, jujubes, etc. Dyed in various colors in furniture and bedding, meaning "initial setting". Wedding quilt, mattress, cotton-padded jacket, etc. It must be sewn by an "American" (a woman who was originally married and both had children and was not pregnant).

The day before the wedding, the man hired someone to carry the box (mostly the owner of the box) to the woman's house to "make up", and sent a red cotton-padded jacket, red cotton trousers, a hooded Hong Haier, a ring (a kind of jewelry) and four-color gifts. The woman wrote a "marriage list", which listed the number of men and women to get married, the orientation of getting on the sedan chair, the orientation of getting off the sedan chair, facing the top, when to enter the door, what to do when to enter the door (usually chicken or bacon), what three animals to avoid and so on. And origin brought them back.

The night before the wedding, the drum music hired by the man (usually 4, 6 or 8 people) played fine music in the woman's house, which was called "warm sedan chair". It was the night when the guests were crowded and the relatives "filled the boxes", which ended today. After midnight, aunts, aunts and sisters-in-law tidy up dowry supplies for married people, which is called "tidying up cabinets". Reunion cakes, birthday shoes, snacks, cigarettes and money (no matter how much) are essential. Relax noodles, green onions, salt, etc. , it should still be in the cupboard.

As soon as the wedding day arrives, the sedan chair hired by the man (who went to the woman's house the night before) is waiting at the door. Married people put on the red cotton-padded jacket and trousers sent by the man's family, and their hair is no longer a girl's braid. They have to braid it (their hair is pulled into a flat circle and hung behind their heads), put on earrings, put on zodiac shoes (soft shoes made of yellow silk), tie their legs with red belts, put on "red headgear" and carry it to the front of the car with new towels in their hands. And began to cry to get married, commonly known as her family's "golden bean."

There are two "big guests" who sent their loved ones away. One is my uncle, and the other is my uncle or uncle. Many people, mostly aunts, aunts or sisters-in-law, "send women off". It is also useful as a "little guest". It must be a brother and nephew. Add dowry, drummer and bearers, the total is odd, and the married people make up a double number.

A group of people crossed the village with a fixed number of doors. When they arrived at the village where the husband's family was located, they had to enter the East Gate. Meet wells, bridges, archways, temples, etc. Put up Qinglong posts along the way. You should spread a red mat on the floor, and you must play music when you cross the village. Three-sex people should be nailed with "Qinglong" columns on their shoulders. The bride is wearing a wedding dress and a corolla, and her head and face are covered with "hood red". When she got off the sedan chair, she was held by two women holding her daughter-in-law. Men and women are tied together with HongLing, which is called "collar red". She stepped on the red carpet or red mat to enter the DPRK, worship heaven and earth, and enter the bridal chamber. Sprinkle chestnuts and dates, which means "initial setting" The man who scatters chestnuts and dates said, "Sow chestnuts first, then dates, and the big ones lead the small ones to run." Have more children. After the groom steps on the bed, he should munch on the eggs. Narrator: "This is a strong life, taking a big bite of yellow." In the evening, the bride and groom eat "comfort noodles" and drink "wedding wine". Neighborhood men and women, regardless of age, enter the bridal chamber. The bridal chamber doesn't turn off the lights all night, which is called "ever-bright (life) light". Before the bride and groom got together, the man's brother sent a "potty" to the bridal chamber and said, "I will send a potty to my brother and sister-in-law, and my nephew will have a baby early." After the bride and groom fall asleep, someone eavesdrops outside the house, which is called the "listening room"

The bride's sedan chair arrived at the door of the man's house. The groom wore a robe and jacket and a red hat shell, wrapped the hat shell with red thread (later replaced by a uniform hat, still wrapped with red thread), and wore new shoes made by the bride. Accompanied by two groomsmen, he greeted the door and bowed to the sedan chair. When the curtain rises, two "bridesmaids" (must be "Americans") help the bride out of the car door. The two little girls each carry a tea tray with a bowl of brown sugar tea on it. A man was holding a piece of bacon (wrapped in red paper). Brown sugar tea is poured in front of the sedan chair, and the carpet bearer paves the road with a red carpet instead of paving it. The groom is in front and the bride is behind, walking slowly on the red carpet. Entering the gate, also called "crossing the door", a pine fire is lit in the brazier next to the door, firecrackers are set off, and the drummer plays the trumpet. Before walking to the incense table in the courtyard, gongs and drums were loud, the bride and groom sat in the east, west, north and south, and the people above kowtowed to the bride (with red lines on her head and face), indicating that the bride had changed from a prostitute to a daughter-in-law. Immediately after the ceremony, the wedding ceremony was held. The two sides worshipped heaven and earth first, then the high hall, and the husband and wife worshipped each other. Both sides were helped into the bridal chamber. At this time, the bacon was thrown on the roof, and the ecliptic shoes were taken away by onlookers. Someone in the host's family sprinkled chestnuts, jujubes and peanuts in front of the incense table, and they were relieved to be eaten by others. The scene was very lively and peaceful.

After the couple entered the bridal chamber, the bride sat down in the direction set on the wedding list, and the groom provoked Hong Haier wearing a headscarf with a scale, and the bride showed her true colors in front of the groom. Then the person in charge presided over, and the husband and wife "toasted", each with 2 cups. Bite red eggs, 2 each. When biting red eggs, the boss should shout, "Whoever bites yellow will win the championship next year." After eating the eggs, put on the squeezing shoes brought by the woman. When the groom quit, the bride went to the door and began to "sit on the bill". You can't take a threshold step within three days, so the bride often goes on a diet before getting married, mainly eating boiled eggs, especially not drinking water. I can only sit down and be a vegetarian. I seldom eat vegetarian food because I can't go out.

As soon as the ceremony was over, the man began to entertain the farewell guests. The two seats, the big guest and the female guest, needed money and someone to accompany them. There can be fewer seats left, but the bearers, drummers and dowry should be rewarded.

On the wedding night, the lights are not allowed to be turned off in the bridal chamber. The groom's brother and nephew make fun of the couple (mainly the bride) in various ways, comment on the head and taste, ask for cigarettes, sugar and snacks, eavesdrop under the bed and order dried peppers. And all kinds of nonsense are not too much. Brides should smile at each other and become smart with others. If no one has a noisy room, a broom must be planted behind the door to replace the noisy room.

The next morning, the bride, accompanied by the groom's aunt or aunt, went to the ancestral grave to worship, and then the bride and groom returned to their parents' home. The groom picked up the four-color gift, and the Yue family found a colleague to accompany him, hosted a banquet and came back the same day. Instead of "calling the right music" and "sending the right music".

On the third day after fasting, the bride got up early to "clean the cupboard" and sent shoes to her in-laws with a shoe basket. Find someone to "make a face", go to the forest to sacrifice with her husband, kowtow to her in-laws and other elders, and pay kowtow money. The groom must go to his grandfather's grave. Then set a table in the middle school for the bride to attend, which is called "quick break". From then on, the bride can step out of the bridal chamber and be allowed to eat meat.

On the fourth or sixth day after the bride gets married, the bride's parents and brothers come to pick her up, which is called "calling the bride". After 4-6 days, the bride's family prepares four-color gifts. The bride sews a cigarette bag for her in-laws, sews a pocket for the groom, and then the brothers send it back to her in-laws' house. This is called "sending happiness".

A month after the full moon, the bride was taken back by her family and came back after living for a month.

In the spring of the second year after marriage, the bride's family will buy a pillow, a red mat and a mat clip for her daughter, which is called "Leave the mother's pillow, leave the mother's mat."

From proposing marriage to getting married, the main procedures are roughly the same. In the old society, there was great inequality between men and women. A husband can marry a concubine, a woman can marry a second wife, and a woman must be loyal to her husband. The death of a husband and a woman is considered fierce, loyalty and not remarriage is considered chastity, and remarriage is ridiculed and discriminated against.

After the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), the people's government promulgated the Marriage Law, which advocated equality between men and women and freedom of marriage, and gradually abolished the habit of buying and selling marriages and arranging marriages. Although marriage still has the words of parents' matchmakers, the parties must personally participate in it, and there are more and more independent elements. There are also many changes in procedures, except that marriage must be registered with the people's government at the township level, and:

The opposite men and women and their relatives will meet at the appointed place on a certain day, and then look at the family situation after they like each other. The man is diligent and careful, and the woman is not easy to express her position. If the woman agrees to eat at the man's house, the marriage will be successful in all likelihood.

Both sides have talked about love, and the woman's parents took their daughters and other relatives to the man's house for dinner another day. During the dinner, men and women in-laws exchange cups for a change, which is called "changing cups". After dinner, the woman kowtows to her future in-laws, who will pay "kowtow money". Just change the cup and the marriage will be settled.

From the late period of the Cultural Revolution, it gradually formed a bad atmosphere in which women demanded a lot of bride price and got married in a big way. Some girls can't wear the materials they asked for when they got engaged. Dozens of banquets are often held when getting married, and governments at all levels actively guide simplicity through positive education, with remarkable results.

Since the reform and opening up, marriage customs have been changing constantly. The two sides are free to fall in love and find a matchmaker to clarify the facts. "Matchmaking" is just a form. After the engagement, the girl openly went to her in-laws' house. If something happened to her in-laws, she was bound to pick up her unmarried daughter-in-law. It has become a common practice for young people to go to Yue's home to help with farming, which is of great benefit to deepening understanding and enhancing feelings.