China Customs: Mongolians: Etiquette and Taboo.

In the long-term historical development, Chahar Mongolians have formed their own unique wedding customs. When a Mongolian man reaches marriageable age, his parents will propose marriage to a good girl. Generally, they will invite a person who has a deep friendship with the woman's family and is reasonable. The matchmaker brought the man's Hada and other gifts, explained the purpose to the woman's parents, presented Hada in front of the Buddha to show his solemnity, and then left. If the woman really disagrees with this marriage, she will return the proposal to Hada within 7-8 days. If you agree, don't quit Hada until the matchmaker comes back. The first step of getting married is called "proposing Hada".

According to the woman's intention of not returning Hada, the man asked the matchmaker to visit her parents and other elders again and present Hada one by one to show their engagement. At this time, the woman's parents suggested that the number of Hada should be determined according to the number of her daughter's uncles, aunts and uncles. This process is called "engagement with Hada". After the woman accepted all the agreed Hada, she invited a person to her daughter's aunt and uncle's house to present Hada to show her daughter's engagement.

After the engagement, the man's family asked Mr. Wang to choose the auspicious day of the wedding and the arrival time of the wedding guests according to the birth dates of the two children. Then write down the wedding date and the arrival time of wedding guests on red paper and let the matchmaker bring Hada and gifts to the girl's father. If the woman's parents have no opinion, they will start to agree on the number of people to meet the bride. The number of people attending the wedding must be even.

The date of the wedding should be fixed a few months before the wedding. According to the date of the wedding, the parents of both men and women send invitations, organize banquets and prepare the items needed for the wedding. In particular, the bride's family has a lot of needlework to prepare the dowry, because there is a custom of * * * the husband's family's clothes, shoes and socks within three years after the daughter-in-law goes through the door.

On the day before the wedding, the man will hold a banquet (Mao banquet) to entertain the applicant's representative and the guests who come to attend the wedding, and hold a ceremony to bless the new house. On this day, the woman will hold a girl's banquet hosted by her parents, inviting girls from her hometown and relatives to sit at the same table with her soon-to-be-married daughter (Mao banquet). During the dinner, relatives and friends presented dowry items, and the woman's mother brought a bowl of fresh milk for the girls to taste, and then officially announced to everyone that the girl was about to get married. At this time, the girls sang "The Girl's Banquet Song" and told the soon-to-be-married girl with lyrics to pour out their feelings of parting.

The groom will hold a banquet before the wedding. Please lead the in-laws of the wedding team and their entourage to the table. The groom's parents and the groom himself have always toasted everyone. When the wedding procession leaves, the groom will dress up according to the custom. When the groom wears bows and arrows and scatters cloth bags, the eulogists bless loudly. When the wedding team on horseback comes to the woman's house, they should also take a horse with a complete saddle that matches the bride's birthday as the bride's mount. Guests attending the wedding must arrive at the woman's residence before sunrise and marry the bride.

When the wedding guests arrived near the woman's residence, all the wedding guests dismounted and sat together, and sent two experienced people to report their greetings to the woman. As soon as the guests arrived, the woman gave a banquet to prepare for the wedding guests. After the two sides exchanged some manners and customs, they invited the people who greeted them into the house. The two sisters-in-law came forward to untie the bridegroom's bow and arrow, and the representatives of the two in-laws exchanged greetings and took their seats after the ceremony of holding Hada and exchanging snuff bottles. At this time, the groom should kowtow to the woman's kitchen god and other gods, offer Hada and offerings, kowtow to the bride's elders and relatives, and propose a toast to the people at the table in turn. After the toast, the groom sat down on the sheep's mat. The sommelier cut a piece of meat from each side of the whole sheep's back and exchanged places left and right to invite guests to dinner as a sign of respect. At this time, the groom's entourage took the opportunity to snatch the sheep's tibia, quickly peeled off the sheep's ankle bone, wrapped it in Hadari and stuffed it into his right boot waist. Sheep's ankles must not be taken away by girls. If you accidentally took it away, you have to toast, offer hada or even kowtow to the girl who took the sheep ankle bone to get it back. Then let the groom unload the atlas of sheep. When the groom labored to unload the atlas in full view, the girls would take the opportunity to ridicule the groom. After the all-sheep feast, the bride's family wanted to dress the groom, and the sisters-in-law couldn't help but make a little joke when tying the belt to the groom, tying the belt like an iron bucket, which made the groom breathless. Then put boots on the groom. As soon as the feast was over, the sisters-in-law put on bows and arrows for the groom and reported the bride to get on the horse. Out of date, the usher led the bride and groom's horse, let the bride get on the horse, and set off three times around the yard.

The wedding team should return to the groom's house before the wedding. After all the people who saw the bride off arrive, the representatives of the man, his parents-in-law and all relatives and friends should enthusiastically make all preparations before entering the new house. At this time, the bride dismounted as soon as she approached the groom's yard, and then someone helped the bride into the yard in her original car. When the bride dismounted, she was wearing a saddle. Then, the invited Lama will perform the baptism ceremony of washing hands and faces for the standing bride. After the mother-in-law tasted the milk for the bride, she asked the bride to wait for the wedding in a specially prepared tent or room.

When it is time to worship heaven and earth, the comb mother or comb father of the bride and groom will preside over the worship ceremony on the altar. When worshipping heaven and earth, the host asked the bride and groom to kneel on the left and right sides respectively, put the groom's hands and his own hand in a special white cloth bag and kowtow to the Western God. Then the father or mother who combs her hair puts the bride's hair on the groom's shoulder and combs her hair. At this time, the wife's sister-in-law came to see the bride's mother-in-law with a plate full of food and motioned for her to pick up the bride's headdress. Mother-in-law put all the headdresses for the bride on a plate for the bride's sister-in-law to send. After the ceremony, the bride can enter the new house. When the bride enters the new house, the mother or father who combs her hair will lead her in with the branches tied with Hada and step on the sheepskin spread on the threshold.

After the bride enters the new house, the mother or father who combs her hair holds the veiled bride and kowtows to the kitchen god of the groom's house first. Then, the mother-in-law gave her daughter-in-law a sip of milk. At this time, the groom lifted the bride's veil with an arrow tied to Hada. The sisters-in-law combed the bride's hair again and put on all the jewelry. After dressing up, the bride, led by all the sisters-in-law, made a toast, presented Hada and gifts to her husband, wife, uncle, grandfather, uncle and other elders, and kowtowed. When kowtowing, you should rank from elder to elder sister, elder sister and brother-in-law. Those who accept the kowtow of the new wife should return the gift.

After the kowtow ceremony, the wedding banquet officially began. After the relatives and friends of both men and women are seated, the bride and groom propose a toast to their relatives and friends in turn. In the toasting room, specially invited young people and singers provide banquets and wine songs. When singing a banquet song, guests should raise their glasses and drink during each intermission. Some love songs can only be sung when the wedding director announces that they can be sung. After the grand and warm wedding reception, except for a few people who visited their daughters, all the people who bid farewell to the wedding must go back immediately. Even those who can't go home on the day of the long journey have to get on the horse and make a detour, and then stay at a neighbor's house.

Those who stayed to visit the girl after the farewell party went to the new house as visitors from their parents and family. Visitors should give gifts to their daughters, son-in-law and parents-in-law. In the evening, the husband's family invited the guests who visited the girl and the parents who combed the bride and groom's hair to the new house for a banquet. The banquet for visiting women (also known as the return banquet) is usually held on the night after the wedding banquet, and only the official and expensive families will hold it the next day. It is no less grand and enthusiastic than the wedding reception. After the banquet, I went into the bridal chamber.

Entering the bridal chamber, the sisters-in-law laid the bedding for the bride and groom. After the bride's sister-in-law checks and arranges the bed for the bride and groom, she will provide tea for the bride and groom and prepare the wedding pillow (remove the bride's headdress, etc.). ) When the bride and groom are having tea, the groom's brother-in-law and sister-in-law make fun of the bride by asking for candy, letting them wear flowers and solve riddles on the lanterns. Taking advantage of the excitement and excitement, they took the groom out and hid. Once the groom is robbed, he will be hidden in a place that is difficult to find. Sometimes I stay up late into the night, but I must not stay up all night.

Three to five days after marriage, the bride and groom, led by their mother-in-law, returned to their parents' home for in-laws ceremony. When you go back to the door, you should bring gifts such as whole sheep. When the bride's family holds a banquet for her mother, daughter and son-in-law, she should invite relatives to sit with her daughter's former good relatives and sisters. After the bride and groom presented Hada to their father-in-law (father), mother-in-law (mother) and other elders, they were arranged at the main seat as the most distinguished guests. When toasting at dinner, you should first toast your daughter and son-in-law. The daughter respectfully took the glass and handed it to her mother-in-law. After the mother-in-law tasted Deji, the daughter-in-law put the glass in front of her. Then, the daughter and son-in-law toasted the participants one by one in the order of seniority, and also sang and played music to entertain them.

Mongolians regard parents who comb their hair and have contacts after marriage as their closest relatives. As parents who comb their hair, they care deeply about their children and visit them frequently just like their biological parents. Therefore, after the wedding, the bride and groom go to their parents' home with gifts such as whole sheep, fruit boxes and wine, and parents hold a banquet like a wedding banquet. The newlyweds stayed at their parents' home for 1 day, and returned in time for door-to-door etiquette. So these ceremonies were completed in turn and the wedding was over.

After the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), the marriage customs of Mongolian people in China have gradually become simple, and in recent years, they have gradually become the same as those of Han people.

The second funeral

Mongolian people also have their own unique rituals and customs in funeral. Mongolians are mainly nomadic people. Earlier, the dead were buried mainly in the form of wild burial (also known as celestial burial, where the body was placed in a Lele car and driven, it was an auspicious burial place). With the development of society and the influence of other national customs, funeral customs have also changed, from wild burial to burial or cremation.

The custom of Mongolians is not to hurry to change clothes and go to the grave after death, but to ask a Lama to chant Buddhist scriptures to guide the way. It doesn't have to be the same day, but it can be done in a few days, but it should be timely. After death, people don't set up a funeral tent outside to pay homage. But stay in the original home after burial, cover your body with curtains, and move the funeral procession when you are buried. Before the funeral, lamas read the scriptures all day, and at night lay men, women and children took turns to read the Mani Sutra all night to cross over the dead. He lit Buddhist lanterns and incense sticks on the altar, put a string of prayer beads in a wooden bowl, and offered Chen Fang's clothes, shoes and hats, smoking utensils and jewelry used by the deceased before his death. Tea and rice are particularly abundant these days. There is also a dinner in the evening, and refreshments continue.

After the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), the way of leaving bodies in the wild has disappeared, and most of them, like the Han nationality, adopted the way of coffin burial. At the funeral, the children and other descendants of the deceased lined up to kneel under the coffin and then went to the burial site. After returning from the burial, a banquet was held to entertain everyone.

During mourning, drinking, paying respects, hosting banquets and going to meetings are taboo, and men do not shave or have their hair cut; Women don't wear jewelry, * * * red hangs green. During the Spring Festival of the year of mourning, red and green paper is not pasted on the doors and windows, and Hada is not used to pay New Year greetings during the Spring Festival, only snuff bottles are used as gifts.

Sanfengcha toast

It is a traditional Mongolian etiquette to offer tea to guests. Whether in communication, at home, on the road, or on all other occasions, tea is an entertainment product. Tea is an indispensable treat when guests come home. First of all, the host should pour a bowl of milk tea for the banquet, and then put on tea such as milk, cakes and fried rice to quench the thirst of the guests.

It is also a traditional Mongolian etiquette to pour wine to honor guests. Mongolians believe that wine is the essence of food and the crystallization of five grains. Usually, the host pours the wine into a silver bowl, a gold cup or a horn cup, puts it on a long Hada, sings a touching traditional toast, and toasts one by one from the elders among the guests. Guests should immediately catch the wine and tap it on the sky, earth and eyebrows with their ring fingers to show their respect for heaven, earth and ancestors. They won't drink, and they won't be reluctant to part with it. They can touch their lips to show their acceptance of their host's pure friendship.

Sixian hada

This etiquette is also a unique custom of Mongolian people in welcoming guests and daily communication. When offering Hada, the host held Hada with open hands, sang auspicious greetings or hymns, exaggerated the atmosphere of respect, and turned Hada's folded mouth to accept Hada's guests. Guests should stand up and face the person who offered Hada, and listen to and accept the toast attentively. When accepting Hada, the guest should lean forward slightly, and the person who sent Hada should hang Hada around the guest's neck, and the guest should put his hands together on his chest to thank the person who sent Hada.

Five taboos

Someone in the Mongolian family goes up the mountain to collect firewood, no matter how busy the family is, they have to collect it on the road. The shrine at home is not allowed to be touched by outsiders at will, let alone placed on the altar. If there is a pregnant woman in a family, a hat should be hung at the gate, the boy's hat on the left and the girl's hat on the right. Outsiders are not allowed to go home for a month.