Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Lucky day inquiry - When I am old, I can't take care of myself, and my family's patience is exhausted. What should I do?

When I am old, I can't take care of myself, and my family's patience is exhausted. What should I do?

When you can't take care of yourself in life, when your family is impatient, you may have been involuntarily. At that time, you had to resign yourself to fate.

I remember a while ago, there was an old man in Nanjing, who seemed to be over eighty years old. She chose to die on August 15, and left her last words: I passed away last night, leaving my heart quiet. The old man lived alone for a long time, thinking that his daughter would come back the next day. It was discovered by his neighbors two months after his death. I have to say that this is the sorrow of the elderly living alone, but this kind of thing is normal in Japan.

In fact, I sometimes think that when we are young, we should work hard to make money and then do what we like; While working, save some money for future retirement, and strive to live to the end of your life in good health, preferably without illness.

However, "the ideal is full and the reality is very skinny." By the age of seventy or eighty, there are almost no people who are not sick, either this pain or that pain, which is very painful. Therefore, all their wishes should be realized when they can act. If they are old, nobody cares, and their families are too tired, they should choose a good day to "drive the crane west" while they still have the heart to make a decision, just like the old people in Nanjing.

The last words before going to heaven told future generations that those white substances were scattered into the sea and became part of the seawater, so that they could continue to "roam" the world, "go to heaven and go to earth" and realize real "liberation" in the future. Of course, the premise must be to make this life valuable and meaningful, with no regrets.

Therefore, what we have to do now is to live a healthy and happy life, try to realize all our wishes one by one, make this life meaningful and valuable, try to have no regrets, and leave the rest alone.

"Small things are your own decisions, and big things are resigned to fate." As long as you live a quality life, you don't have to be afraid, let alone regret and regret, don't you think?

Your own business is another matter. It is urgent to take care of yourself and treat your parents well. Don't reproduce the tragedy of the elderly in Nanjing, try to live in the present.

My mother was ill for seven years and couldn't take care of herself for seven years. Now she can't even turn over. As the saying goes, there is no filial son in front of the bed for a long time. People who haven't experienced it don't know, that's all. Of course, it is not excluded to take care of the children of the elderly, but the age and personality of the children should be considered. I only share my own experience here. As soon as the old man fell ill, we hired a nanny. We think we made the right decision. Nannies are paid to do things. If you have some sense of responsibility, for example, several nannies hired by our family are very good, and full-time work is to take care of the elderly, there will be no complaints. And more experienced than children. For me, I am more powerful than I am, which is very important. Some old people, especially the slightly fatter ones, need male caregivers. As children, we can go out and do some other things, such as chatting with the elderly and massage every day, so that everyone can relax a lot. Although it seems to cost some money, it is very worthwhile for the elderly and children.

If you are worried about your future, you'd better start by protecting your health. You'd better not take care of yourself. And once it happens, you should be considerate of your family. We are all human beings, and we all need our own space and do what we like. As patients, we can choose to go to a professional old-age care institution and ask nursing staff to solve family problems.

You can also discuss the future with your family before you can take care of yourself, and make arrangements early, so everyone can rest assured.

If you think you have lived enough, choose a spring day and have a quiet sleep.

My neighbor, who is diabetic all the year round, can't take care of herself. She wants to eat liquid, and her life is very bad. But her little daughter was very filial and was sent to live in a big villa of several thousand square meters. Later, I saw my eldest daughter divorce for her, and my youngest daughter was seriously ill. She felt burdened and went on a hunger strike. The two sisters are sad, but there is no way to have it both ways.

I am 7 1 year-old, and I am in poor health. I often get sick and can't live without my body, so I am also strong and can take care of my paralyzed wife. And what supports this family is my own home. The only child is not with me. Come back once a year without even a helper. I always believe that there is no hurdle. If I'm lucky, my wife will go first, and I'm not afraid to be alone. I will never suffer that punishment when I die. I'm afraid my mind is not clear and confused. This is the worst thing.

I agree with this sentence, I can live, I can die! My wife has gone to bed, and my urine is often out of control! I am responsible for the whole process of nursing, and my sons buy food and cook at noon every day! I won't let them intervene in nursing work, I will give her my last love! We are all over eighty years old, and it is worth leaving! But cherish every day of your life! One is to oppose transitional medical care, and the other is to live every day with a smile! Third, don't save, always save is a waste of people and money to the living! Fourth, simplify the funeral, no mourning, no farewell to burning! Let it be!

Sanatorium Don't always think, we can all go to a nursing home. Tell me about my experience.

My father-in-law is 76 years old and suffers from Alzheimer's disease, which develops rapidly. At the age of 80, he basically changes once a week, and there are not many people he gradually knows, so he can't take care of himself. My father-in-law's two sons are both in other places. The old man wants to support the aged in his hometown. We took care of the elderly in various ways, and finally invited two people to take care of them. As children, we take turns running home every week, and it takes more than three months to drive. And I don't work in my husband's city, we are in two provincial capitals.

My father-in-law can't move, so the two people invited (husband and wife, relatives, you can rest assured) offered to invite another person. Don't say we paid too much money for the baby-sitter. Just say that one more person may have no water to drink. I decided to take the old man to town. Just as my son came back, I took care of my husband and son for two days, and I was exhausted. In winter, the old man wets his pants three times a day (don't tell me that adult diapers are not wet, we have taken care of them for more than three years, and we must have had this experience. Not to mention that the washing machine at home can't wash three sets of cotton-padded clothes, even if it is washed, it can't be done. Yes, I want to buy a dryer, too, but there is no room at home.

It's not that there is no land, it's because the elderly need a lot of space to live in. There are two men in the bathroom, walking sideways. I usually feel wide at home, which will not be enough. I went in for a long time, but he didn't pull, and then he got wet. .

Also, the toilet doesn't work well, which is the key. From the restaurant to the bathroom to the toilet, I turned twice. An old man who can't move his brain turned twice, which was really fatal. In order to go to the toilet, the three of them struggled all night.

Besides, the old man doesn't sleep, so we should take turns watching him.

I can't go to work normally, but I have to leave home for another city on Monday. I started inviting people, and invited more than a dozen. I either refused or left at a glance, and I cried. I thought, please stay at home. What if my husband is going on a business trip (my son is in a farther city)? Don't worry.

I asked my classmates and neighbors, and most of them suggested going to nursing homes. So I desperately looked for a nursing home, looked at countless homes, and finally chose one that is more suitable for the elderly and our family.

Advantages of nursing homes: First, nursing is more professional. Dressing, bathing, changing diapers, feeding, etc. Faster than our own hands and feet. The second is 24-hour air conditioning. It was winter then. I wore two cotton-padded clothes when I was in my hometown, so I couldn't move by the fire. Central air conditioning in nursing homes can liberate the elderly. Third, the equipment is suitable for the elderly. The nursing home has no threshold, no stairs, the door is wide open, and there are handrails everywhere in the bedside, corridor and bathroom (this is particularly important). Big washing machine, dryer. Take a shower with a wheelchair, with the cooperation of two caregivers, and it will be finished in a few times (it takes more than an hour at home, and it is easy to catch a cold). Fourth, there is companionship, and the elderly have companionship. It is better to see several people using it every day than to stay indoors. Fifth, there are activities. When my father-in-law can be active, the nurse will take him to play games every morning and afternoon. Sixth, close to the child, you can visit him every day and accompany him. Hey, fruit chat. Seventh, it is convenient (very important) to go to the hospital. The nursing home is either close to the hospital or closely connected with the hospital. If the old man is slightly ill, he can see a doctor at once. My father-in-law's last days, but one day his blood pressure was a little abnormal (no one at home must have noticed that he didn't have high blood pressure). Nurses in nursing homes take their blood pressure every day), make a simple treatment and inform our family. It's still a little high in the afternoon. I suggest we take it to the hospital. When we were looking for help to get to the hospital, the nursing home had already called us 120 and invited a nurse from the hospital for us. . At that moment, I was really grateful.

Now my own mother is getting more and more stupid, and I am looking for a suitable nursing home for my mother.

Because I am a bipolar patient with depression, I have experienced the pain of 12 years, and now I am in a stable period. I think so, and I made it clear to my son (my son is a doctor and fully understands my thoughts) that as long as I am sick in bed and can't take care of myself (awake), I will hunger strike! Leave clean and dignified! It will not increase the psychological and economic burden of children and their families, and there is no need to rescue them in an emergency! Let it develop naturally.

I have thought about this question countless times. If one day I am old or seriously ill, don't say that I can't take care of myself. To a certain extent, I will write a suicide note, and then find a corner to end my life, let my children cremate me and throw my ashes into the sea.

This shore, the other shore, is dust to dust after all.

Man's life is very long, and he has seen too many deaths. My grandparents have five sons, 1 daughter. The eldest son died of illness after marriage, and the daughter got married. The remaining four sons take turns to take care of their elderly grandparents. In my impression, my grandparents loved him the most. He ate well and dressed well for college. Of course, he also worked hard, became a teacher and finally became a principal. However, grandparents are old, and the fifth man in the city doesn't want to take care of them. He always said that he was busy at work and didn't have time, and he was willing to take money for his brothers to take care of. To tell you the truth, I'm angry to hear that. Whose time is not time, just because you are in the city, your time is more valuable? Grandparents love you the most, and you are the last to take care of them at this time. Grandpa was paralyzed in bed early and grandma had cataracts. Most of the time, my mother and my second mother took care of them at home, and my daughter came back to see them, but after all, she married far away. My grandparents must have been very unhappy at that time.

I can't wait until that day,

Some people say that when you get there, you won't think so, and you will have a strong desire to survive. All I know is that it's easy to die, but it's too hard to live. Make it easy for me, who is about to get old.

Do you have to send your parents to a nursing home in the end? No way! Then if you hire a nanny at home, you can at least see your parents every day, and you must stay at home to get rid of Alzheimer's disease. When parents are old, one day is missing. How can you have the heart to send them to a nursing home? My parents are here, and so is my home. Therefore, my mother has been in bed for seven years and has not felt impatient with me. Instead, she nagged every day and said something she didn't understand, which made her feel very interesting. She often recites quotations from Chairman Mao to us. My parents are old and have Alzheimer's disease. They look miserable. I can only take care of them. God bless me to be their daughter, and God sends them to be my parents once in a blue moon. If there is an afterlife, you may not be a family. Maybe you will meet on the road of the world, you won't know each other, and you won't know that they raised their parents through life. Therefore, being kind to parents is the bondage of this life, and there may not be an afterlife!

When you get older, your family's patience will wear out. To tell the truth, you wouldn't have the IQ to think about it at that time. People are old, that's all. Don't force yourself to get old and it will never happen again. There are not many people living in Zong Zheng's bed in this world. Basically, they are tortured by diseases, which not only test children's patience and filial piety, but also abuse their hearts. Three years ago, my brain shrank and my mother was very abrasive. Going home every day is the hardest, especially at night. It seems that she understands the reason, but in fact she can't control her brain. Suddenly, she woke up and understood, but it was her mother's time. Now my 90-year-old father is the same. There are many lacunar infarcts on both sides of his head. Sometimes he understands, sometimes he is confused. When he is confused, like my mother, he clamors to go home in his own house every day. He doesn't remember that this is his own home. As children, we all know what this will mean. It really hurts to watch my old father toss and turn. Life is so cruel, that is, let you look at the person you love, life is consumed by time bit by bit, and we can only face this natural law helplessly, because one day we will do the same.

Therefore, when we enter old age, we don't have to demand filial piety from our children, and we don't have to think about what will happen when we get old. The important thing is to live in the present, arrange the rest of your life and try not to disturb your children, such as nursing homes, such as hiring nannies, which are all good choices.