The custom of "sending the day" on the wedding date!

When preparing for the wedding, the man chooses an auspicious day (calculated according to the lunar calendar) in advance, writes it in red paper, prepares gifts, and sends them to the woman's home by the matchmaker, which is also called "sending day", "sending day post", "sending day list" and "sending day list". Similar to the "invitation period" in the ancient "Six Rites".

In the old days, we attached great importance to the date of marriage, so we must choose good luck to avoid evil and choose an auspicious day. People often ask fortune tellers or astrologers to "pick the date". Mr. Wang uses the dates of birth of both men and women, or the dates of birth of parents and grandparents of both men and women, to comprehensively calculate the auspicious day of marriage without mutual assistance. Some people also look through the imperial calendar and choose the date with reference to things that should be avoided. In Daejeon, the suggested marriage date should be based on the date of birth of both men and women, but also on the date of birth of other family members (except daughters) of both parties. If a person's horoscope conflicts with it, he will choose a new date.

In addition to the mysterious fortune-telling theory and the taboo precepts of the old imperial calendar, the folk custom of good or bad wedding dates is also popular in Fujian. Some places avoid getting married in spring. A year without spring refers to a year without beginning of spring Day, which is called "widowed year" in some places. Obviously, it is unlucky, because the word "widowed" is related to words such as "widowed", "widowed" and "widowed lonely". In many places in eastern Fujian and northern Fujian, it is forbidden for women to get married at the age of eighteen or twenty-four, and some only avoid one. Because the legendary Mrs. Chen Jinggu (a folk goddess) got married at the age of eighteen and begged for rain at the age of twenty-four, eighteen or twenty-four is an ominous age for married women. As for the season and month of marriage, Fujian people generally like autumn and winter and mid-spring (especially autumn and winter), and summer is rare. In southern Fujian, it is forbidden to say May, July and September, which means "May is wrong" (May is homophonic with "wrong"), "Marry a ghost in July" (July is a ghost month) and "September is a dog's head" (September is homophonic with "dog"), so marriage is unfavorable. When Shaowu people choose to get married, it is usually on Saturdays, Wednesdays, Wednesdays and Wednesdays, and the months are mostly in autumn and winter after the harvest of crops (that is, from September to the first month of the following year), avoiding August. Autumn and winter are the golden seasons of autumn harvest and winter storage, and also the days of slack farming. After the autumn harvest, the family is relatively well-off and suitable for men and women to get married. There is also a folk saying that "harvest in autumn and store in winter, and marry a wife to worship heaven". And get married before the Spring Festival, "marry a daughter-in-law for the New Year", which adds to the festive season. In summer, the weather is hot, the food is perishable, people are easy to get sleepy, busy with farming, and the life of husband and wife is inconvenient. Try to avoid holding a wedding. In some places, people choose to get married on two days to avoid getting married on a single day; Many places also have the custom of getting married every two months and two days. Respond to the saying of "yes man"

The woman usually accepts the wedding date sent by the man. In Yongding, Taining and other places, after the woman agrees, she will give a "permission period" post. In Dehua, if the woman has no objection within ten days, the man will get married as scheduled. In Fuqing, Luoyuan and other places, when a man chooses a wedding date, he must inform his wife's family first, and then formally write a red post as a "send-to-Japan" gift after obtaining the consent. In Songxi, the man will send two or three "auspicious days", and the woman will decide one of them. In Shaowu, "Day" is written on red paper, and the matchmaker is asked to deliver it to the woman's house on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month. If the woman agrees with the auspicious day chosen by the man, she will accept this red post; If you don't agree, don't accept it and return it to the man's house. The man's home must be delivered on the Tanabata day after the re-election next year.

The "date sheet" should not only write down the date of marriage, but also indicate the time when the bride gets on the sedan chair and enters the door. In some places, it is even necessary to list the wedding year, coronation time, bed making time, clothes cutting time and its taboos. In Hui 'an, two copies of the wedding "daily list" should be prepared, one for the woman and the other for the ancestral hall or residence hall of the man.

When the man sends his date, he should also give the last unpaid dowry and other gifts to the woman, which is called "pressing the date post" and "pressing the date list". In Fuzhou and its surrounding counties and cities, such as Changle, Fuqing, Pingtan and other places, betrothal gifts are often carried out in two stages-"the first half ceremony" and "the second half ceremony". The "first half gift" is given at the time of engagement, and the "second half gift" (the other half dowry) is paid on the "delivery day". In Changle, when the man goes to talk about the wedding ceremony and sends it to the "second half ceremony", he needs to give a gift cake, commonly known as "fixed day cake". The constant of the gift cake is 100 Jin, and the woman gives the cake to her relatives, which indicates that the auspicious time is coming. There is a local folk song: "Tianbing is round and sweet, and my cousin likes the edge of winter solstice." Please welcome Yi, please invite farmers, please welcome friends and relatives from all walks of life, and congratulate you. " Relatives eat cakes on fixed days and know the wedding date. They all give things (mostly cloth, riches and treasures, and gold and silver jewelry) before the wedding, which is called "adding boxes". In Fuqing, in addition to the "second half ceremony" (paying off the engagement fee), the man also adds gifts such as trotters and noodles; The woman's family presents gift cakes, mostly 100 pairs, called "Day Cake", and the man gives the "Day Cake" to relatives and friends to show the wedding date. In Hui 'an, the man needs to send all the dowry, plus two or four pieces of "brocade cloth" (a kind of indigo homespun cloth), which is called "drying cloth". In Songxi, you should bring six bags of cakes and the balance of the gift money to the appointment list.

At present, the wedding date chosen by urban residents is generally agreed by both men and women themselves or their families, and the time is mostly calculated by Gregorian calendar. Few people do the ceremony of "sending the day" again, and most of the old taboos about choosing the day disappear. However, the psychology of seeking good luck and emphasizing celebration still exists, and the habit of choosing leisure time at the right time has also continued. Marriage is still held in autumn, winter and spring, and the specific time is chosen on holidays such as May Day, November Day, New Year's Day and Spring Festival. In rural areas, the custom of "farewell day" is still popular, and there are not a few people who "receive the relatives' day" during the wedding. Some traditional taboos still have a market. For example, on the eve of the Spring Festival in 1988, many places set off a wedding craze. One of the main reasons is that the "beginning of spring" solar term falls on the eve of the Spring Festival, while 1988 is the the Year of the Loong of the lunar calendar. When you get married, you can expect to have a child in the Year of the Loong. However, the legacy of this old custom has been diluted and gradually merged with the customs of the city.