Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Lucky day inquiry - Why should there be a date for marriage?
Why should there be a date for marriage?
In the Qing dynasty, in the city, marriage generally went through four procedures:
Children's eyes, commonly known as matchmaking. After the introduction of relatives and friends, you can agree to send Geng Tie to get married after marriage.
Employment, employment, jewelry dowry and so on.
Invitation, that is, fixing the wedding date. The man prepares clothes, makes a wedding cake and sends it to the woman as an invitation.
Wedding, the day before the wedding, the woman gives a dowry; Men come back with sake, pig's head, steamed rolls and other gifts, commonly known as "head pass" On the wedding day, the groom usually doesn't go to the wedding, but only prepares a sedan chair and asks two middle-aged women to make up. A pair of red lights lead, accompanied by drum music. The woman's family invited two older women to accompany the bride in makeup. After the wedding ceremony, the woman's family also invited two relatives wearing crowns to her husband's family, commonly known as "farewell", and the husband's family served wine. At this point, the wedding is over. On the second day after marriage, the newlyweds should worship their ancestors, parents and relatives. The woman's family will deliver wine to her husband's family on this day. On the ninth day of marriage, the newlyweds visit their parents-in-law and return on the same day, commonly known as "back to nine". At the end of the month, they went together again. The groom went home and the bride stayed at home for a month. This is called "living on the moon".
In the early Republic of China, two kinds of weddings, old and new, prevailed. The old customs will probably hit the Qing Dynasty, and the biggest change is "kissing" (that is, the groom goes to the woman's house to get married). The process of the ceremony is as follows: the matchmaker challenged, the two sides agreed to propose marriage, chose a date for engagement and exchanged invitations, and each side gave four-color gifts. Men's homes are nothing more than jewelry, while women's homes are mostly Four Treasures of the Study. The man set a wedding date, informed the media two months ago and posted it to the woman. One month or forty days before the wedding, the bride price for the man is two, four and eight. Please ask the matchmaker to send it to the woman's house, and the woman's house will count the gift money and return it to the son-in-law as a gift. On the wedding day, the woman will send the dowry to the man's house, commonly known as "dowry". The man will sit in the wedding sedan chair for two or four times and invite the "leading son-in-law" (the best man) to attend the wedding together. The bride's family invited guests to entertain her, and the groom thanked her and borrowed the bride's sedan chair to go back. When paying homage to the church, you should ask the birthday girl to celebrate her birthday, commonly known as "worshipping heaven and earth." After the ceremony, enter the bridal chamber and the bride pays the bill. On the second day or wedding day, the newlyweds make up to worship their ancestors and relatives, commonly known as "ginseng stove". On the third or sixth day, the newlyweds go to the "back door" together.
The above-mentioned old-fashioned weddings in the Qing Dynasty and the Republic of China are just the general process. There are still many red tape and common beliefs in every procedure. From the post type, there are two kinds of posts: grass post, fixed post, employment post, reply post, Geng post and marriage paper, re-recruitment paper, recruitment paper, employment list and wealth list. The two sides agreed to get married, exchange Geng Tie, write down their birthdays, and predict whether fate matches. Yin and Yang teachers should choose good luck on both date and wedding day. Both sides should send even numbers of jobs and wealth, which means in pairs. There are still many taboos during the wedding ceremony. The whole marriage process is full of redundancy, superstition and feudal ethics.
In contrast, the wedding etiquette in the middle of the Republic of China was greatly simplified.
Before marriage, men and women exchange tokens and engagement cards. After the man determines the wedding date, he asks the woman's consent in writing, and immediately makes preparations, informs relatives and friends, and chooses the wedding auditorium. At that time, some people held weddings in churches, others in halls, restaurants or at home. Lanterns and colorful decorations are hung in front of the door, and rich families will decorate flower shops. The gallery is divided into several cases, and the groom, bride, officiant, witness, introducer and male and female guests are seated according to a certain number of seats. When you get married, you will no longer use sedan chairs and rituals, but use floats (cars or carriages). After the wedding, take photos as a souvenir. Although this kind of wedding has begun to show the breath of modern civilization, it is still too wasteful, especially for entertaining guests and giving gifts, which is unbearable for the poor. Therefore, the custom of entertaining guests with western food or refreshments appeared at that time.
The marriage customs in suburban counties of Taiyuan are quite different from those in cities, showing a colorful appearance, among which the marriage customs in Xugou area are the most distinctive:
When engaged, the matchmaker or friend comes forward and the two families exchange birthdays. If fate matches, start a blind date. There are two kinds of blind dates: "Ming" and "Stealing". In the Ming Dynasty, the matchmaker led the man and his parents to the woman's house for a blind date, and left ornaments as vouchers in the middle, commonly known as "remembering hands". In order to prevent women from being embarrassed by blind date, sneak shots are often used, that is, blind date in cinemas or relatives and neighbors. If you are content to steal, don't show your face.
Choose an auspicious day, and the two families each have red posts and give gifts to each other, commonly known as "sending posts." Through this procedure, you are engaged.
The man determines the wedding date, prepares a post to inform the woman of the auspicious day, and sends the wedding clothes to her home, commonly known as "communication".
On the wedding day, the male family prepares four people to sit in sedan chairs, several pairs of drums and music, and halogen thin (guard of honor). The groom worships the ancestor's axis and goes to the woman's house to get married. At the same time, it is called "marrying a guest" to delay the situation, and there are top referees (fame) to accompany the groom. The woman's family should also choose a man from relatives to marry him. This is called "seeing Fujian off". There are also people who greet their relatives and see them off, which is called "double marriage".
When visiting the church, the groom was led by Zan Li Sheng and the bride was assisted by two women. The former man and the latter woman knelt on the axis of God and kowtowed nine times, commonly known as "worshipping heaven and earth".
On the 10 day after marriage, the bride and groom were taken back to their parents' home by their families and held a banquet for them, commonly known as "changing for ten days". At this point, the whole wedding ceremony is over.
From the beginning to the end of marriage, every step has some common beliefs:
On the day of engagement, after receiving ornaments and coins, the woman should return the man a bundle of rice seedlings and a piece of copper, iron and plastic.
On the day of communication, the woman returned a pair of chopsticks, a wine bottle filled with honey, a pair of steamed lions and tigers, a pomegranate and a piece of copper-iron glue.
On the wedding day, the rooster crows or at dawn, both the bride and groom have breakfast.
On the morning of the wedding, the bride should invite a complete woman (with parents, children and husband) to open her face, and the direction and timing of sitting should be specified by Mr. Yin Yang. There is a chair on the kang, with a brick in front of it and a bucket of water under it. The bride sits in a chair, and the complete woman fans the wind while singing: "Sit in the chair, fan, and the girl will serve you all your life."
Both the bride and groom must wear cotton-padded clothes or trousers on their wedding day, even in hot summer.
The groom will steal a pair of chopsticks and a wine glass when he takes the bride. Some people choose two bottles of wine in the halogen thin (ritual ceremony), and the Yue family keeps one bottle, and the other bottle is brought back to the man's house in exchange for water. Cooking with Yuejia water at night is commonly known as "mixing tongqi". When the couple were eating, someone made a toast: "Mother's water, husband's noodles, longevity noodles mixed with soup, and a string of bean sprouts."
When the bride gets into the sedan chair, she should be carried by her elders or brothers.
When entering the man's gate, the saluter lights the straw handle around the gate, then scatters the horse grass in the bucket (or wicker bucket) behind the sedan chair and puts the saddle in front of the sedan chair for the groom to jump over. Both the bride and groom should step on the grass or the red carpet to make people happy. At the same time, the giver tied a loom shaft, a big knife and a bronze mirror into a bundle and gave it to the groom. These three things have to stay with the bride in the bridal chamber for ten days.
After entering the bridal chamber, the groom first boarded the kang, and then the bride sat on the kang. The groom stood beside the bride, made a bow and arrow and shot it in all directions, then lifted the bride's veil and took off her head and hid it in her arms.
The morning after the wedding, the bride will comb her hair next door, and the person who combs her hair will say something like "a wooden comb, two rafters, a doll and a necklace".
The popular letters in the wedding process all have certain meanings, or homophonic, or are endowed with meanings or symbols, all for the beauty of husband and wife, the joy of family and the prosperity and longevity of future generations. The ancient temple has the meaning of golden harvest, symbolizing good luck; Copper and iron mean loyalty; Glue symbolizes husband and wife and beauty, as inseparable as paint; Honey means sweet; Chopsticks mean that couples will grow old together in pairs; Cotton-padded clothes and trousers wish a thick life; Sitting on a bucket is to hope that life will be smooth sailing; Pomegranate contains many seeds; Carrying the bride on the sedan chair shows that she doesn't touch her family's soil and is afraid of taking her family's luck, and so on.
Taboos are also full of wedding ceremonies. It is beneficial for both men and women and family elders to choose the wedding date by Mr. Yin and Yang before marriage. If there are obstacles, avoid meeting each other on the wedding day; Welcome guests, see off guests, help the bride, open her eyelids, etc. , must have no collision with the couple; The newlyweds are forbidden to meet other newlyweds within 100 days. When you get married, when you meet a stone along the road, you should draw a "ten" with red clay, and cover the sedan chair with a red carpet when you cross the temple. The taboo here has a strong superstitious color, and its purpose is to seek good fortune and avoid evil, and turn good into good. This kind of belief behavior and means of passive defense came into being under the conditions of backward production, underdeveloped science and low public awareness, and was passed down from generation to generation, which bound people's behavior concept. With the development of science and technology and the improvement of productivity, people gradually realize the ignorance of taboo, which is rare in contemporary times.
The most unforgettable thing is the marriage customs from the late 1950s to the early 1970s, which are civilized and simple. Both men and women can register for marriage through free love or introduction and love each other for a period of time. A new suit, two new beds; Melon seeds and tea, candy and cigarettes are things to entertain guests; Friends and relatives send some small gifts as a souvenir. All the rest of the formalities, nothing.
In recent years, marriage customs have resurfaced in some aspects, and some new vulgar customs have gradually formed.
One is a gift. In the late 1970s, gifts usually cost three to five dollars, even ten dollars was a gift. Recently, it has increased year by year and doubled.
The second is extravagant banquets, which mostly include seats in restaurants, ranging from six or seven tables to dozens of tables. It has become a trend to make up for the expenses in the process of preparing for marriage by accepting gifts from banquets.
Third, the pursuit of style, on the wedding day, there are many cars to pick up the bride, mostly a few cars, vans or buses. The fleet is vast and magnificent, including renting cars and buses.
Fourth, the dowry is rich. From the 1970s to the early 1980s, people generally only pursued the furnishings of new houses. At that time, there were "thirty-six legs", and later there were "seventy-two legs". Wedding dresses are just woolen clothes, and electrical appliances are just bicycles and watches, which have begun to show extravagance. Nowadays, in addition to high-end furniture, household appliances such as refrigerators, color TVs, stereos and washing machines are essential. The decoration has developed to gold jewelry, leather clothes and the like, and the dowry items of the bride's family are also more than several thousand yuan, and the expenses of both parties are not less than tens of thousands of yuan.
The fifth is the rise of complex rituals and superstitions. When you get married, you should pay attention to opening the door and unpacking, choosing auspicious days, watching the zodiac, loving face and stressing ostentation and extravagance, which are all vividly displayed in contemporary wedding customs.
A few years ago, the new customs in Taiyuan people's wedding customs were all taken in the middle of the night. This custom has not been passed down, and it is a unique custom in Taiyuan. It is extremely uncivilized to wake up thousands of dreams with firecrackers in the middle of the night and arouse the worries of neighbors with the joy of one person and one family. In fact, shooting in the middle of the night is not a fluke. It is said that widows in southern China remarried before the shooting in the middle of the night. In recent years, after banning guns, the bad habit of shooting in the middle of the night has been abolished.
Choosing a date to get married is also a common custom in Taiyuan in recent years. Three, six and nine days are lucky. It would be more auspicious if there were three or six days in the solar calendar and the lunar calendar. In ancient times, it was called "invitation meeting". After the engagement, the man asked someone to inform the woman and ask for advice. It contains the significance of avoiding women's menstrual period, so that "Yang dominates Yin and harmony" (Wedding of Yi Li the World). Superstition was rampant in later generations, but the scientific intention of the ancients was unknown. In fact, there was a set of lucky choices in ancient times, the purpose of which was to avoid the evil spirits such as Tai Sui, instead of choosing three, six or nine days. Because it involves superstition, I won't go into details. In the Qing Dynasty, Qian Daxin's "Ten Forums: A New Record of Raising Children" tells a story of choosing good luck: Emperor Han Xiao once got together and asked, "Can I marry a woman one day?" All kinds of fortune tellers have a set of calculation methods, and the results hold one end. The answer of the five elements is, Kan Yujia said no, Jian Chujia thought it was unlucky, Jia thought it was big, Li thought it was small, Tianyi thought it was small and Taiyi thought it was big. The fortune tellers argued endlessly and could not reach an agreement. Finally, Emperor Xiao of Han Dynasty had no choice but to adopt the theory of Five Elements Family. If you follow divination, you will have to stay married for life.
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