What customs do Lishui people need for engagement?

"Men should get married and women should get married." This is what the older generation often said. This is both a social custom and a necessity of life. Getting married is a very important thing in life. No matter whether you have money or not, you will always try your best to hold a grand, decent and meaningful wedding for yourself. Every place is different, so the marriage customs are different. Now let you know what interesting customs there are in marriage in Lishui, our hometown. Listen to me slowly! In our hometown, a pair of congenial men and women who talk about marriage generally go through two procedures: engagement and marriage. In the process of engagement and marriage, whether it is blind date introduction or free love, there is a heavyweight-matchmaker. The matchmaker is a bridge between men and women, and plays a role as a link to convey information, communicate and coordinate, and preside over the overall situation. If both men and women are introduced through blind date, the matchmaker plays a decisive role, and sometimes even holds the power of life and death whether men and women can get married. You can often see the matchmaker's face in my introduction to marriage customs below. Let's talk about engagement first. If a man and a woman are married, get engaged first! The man will entrust the matchmaker to go to the woman's house in advance, and negotiate with the woman's house to choose the engagement date and then choose the wedding date. In addition to choosing a good date, the highlight is the preliminary negotiation between men and women on the amount of dowry, the geometry of gold and silver jewelry, the number of tables and the price of the wedding banquet. It's all about money anyway. This is also the time when a woman's lion speaks. The more the man gives, the more face the woman has. On the other hand, if it is less, it will be difficult for her to face, because the price of a village is precedent and comparable, and everyone has the psychology of comparing, otherwise the woman will feel that her daughter has lost points. However, this also depends on the man's economic strength, and it is impossible to overcharge. Often the matchmaker plays a key role at this time. He should coordinate this amount according to the man's tolerance and the woman's specific requirements, and finally achieve a satisfactory result for both parties. Sometimes we can't reach an agreement because of the dowry, which is not uncommon. If both parties agree that the day is the engagement date, and preliminarily negotiate the price of the wedding fee, then they will formally enter the engagement procedure. On the day of engagement, it is also the day to send wedding gifts. According to our Lishui dialect, it is also called "seeing the sun off". The man wants to hire a matchmaker and take some cigarettes, wine, meat and vegetables to the woman's house for dinner. After dinner, the matchmaker will finally reach a * * * knowledge on the basis of the original preliminary negotiation results, and write it down in red paper and black. The contents here are very detailed, besides the bride price gold, food gold and these three gold, for example, give the woman a few cigarettes, and what brand do you want; How many kilograms of candy, how much hard candy, and the geometry of soft candy; How many wedding banquets, including several cases of beer, several bottles of white wine and so on. If everything is settled into money, it will be easier and more enjoyable. The man will honor the contents negotiated by both parties the next day and put them into practice wholeheartedly. If some places are not comprehensive enough, the woman will lose her temper and get married. According to our custom in Lishui, under normal circumstances, houses, decoration, furniture, dowry, banquet, gold and so on. The man needs to take care of him, while the woman needs to bear a lot, such as household appliances, indoor supplies, and the groom's full set of clothes. If the woman has financial strength, it is not uncommon to take a car as a dowry. But now it won't be so clear. Both men and women should do what they can. If the other person has money, it doesn't hurt to have more. Only let two new people live happily after marriage is king. If the man fulfills all his promises, it can be carried out as scheduled on a good day. In our country, the woman's wedding reception is at noon, while the man is at night. For this banquet, it is necessary to make a big fuss. After all, most people only have one life. Usually the first three days will be the first day. Prime minister (the task is to receive bride price, keep accounts, cashier, etc. ) Chef, walking around the hall, making a fire, cooking, washing dishes, all kinds of postures. Except the chef, all the others who were called to help were their relatives and friends, or their next-door neighbors. It's much easier in the city. Book a banquet in the hotel, and both men and women go to eat together, eat and drink enough, and then leave. It's not like you're having a banquet in the country for three days. On the first day of the wedding, you should have a midnight snack at the woman's house. This midnight snack eats nothing but wonton, which is euphemistically called "getting on the sedan chair". The more people come to dinner, it shows that this family has many relatives and friends, good popularity and lively scenes. On the wedding day, the woman's family will also divide steamed buns, which are sweet stuffing made of black glutinous rice and shared by the whole village. Separate households, two steamed buns and a bag of sugar (ten), which means telling the villagers that my family married my daughter today and shared the sweetness with everyone with steamed buns and sugar. I am very proud of the big steamed bread and good candy quality. If I don't care about your family or even my own people, I will be looked down upon. So far, there has never been a situation where I don't care about my daughter. This is a tradition handed down from the older generation, and marrying a daughter should be followed. On the wedding day, the mighty team went to the woman's house. The matchmaker is the team leader, the groom is the deputy team leader, and there are two bridesmaids (unmarried, handsome girls with both parents) and a strong young man who has come to move the dowry. The total number is stipulated and must be even, but the car for the wedding banquet is odd. You asked me why I made such a rule, and I don't know. Anyway, this is the pressure. When the car goes all the way, it will set off firecrackers all the way. As we approached the woman's house, firecrackers were set closer. At the door of the woman's house, there is often a long stool across the door to prevent the man's team from entering the door. Both sides must have a big PK of firecrackers. At this time, the firecrackers of both men and women rang, and you came and went, as if the sky were falling, it was dark and full of joy. Firecrackers only placed in the woman's house are getting thinner and thinner. The man's firecracker lit 3,000 or 5,000 guns, took the stool, rushed into the door, took the firecracker and put it in the living room for a turn. This firecracker performance is over. At this time, the groom's official will give out cigarettes to all the people present, and everyone will split in two, so-called yes-men. Men, women and children, whether smoking or not, have to answer it. It's like smoking, but it's humiliating not to answer it. The kitchen is the highlight of today. Please please the people in the kitchen, or the groom will be played tricks on. Therefore, the distribution of cigarettes is not calculated by a cigarette, but by a pack. A person must take at least one bag, and the rule is to take out several bags. If you don't give it, the man is stingy. At the same time, the woman will bring the prepared snacks to the wedding procession, usually two boiled eggs, and only one can be eaten. This is a rule, too. It can't be broken, or he will be laughed at. In the next time, the wedding procession can do whatever it wants, just wait for the woman's house to hold a banquet, and when the banquet is over, it can move the dowry back to the house. The woman's house is the busiest time, while entertaining guests and preparing banquets. According to the rules, the woman will give each gift-giving guest a pack of cigarettes, two steamed buns and a pack of candy. At the next banquet, everyone who comes to the wedding banquet can also get a pack of cigarettes, so you can get several packs of cigarettes when you drink the wedding banquet in the countryside. Although the grade is not high, do you like cigarettes? What good luck. After three firecrackers sounded, the party began. In rural areas, there is no need to arrange seats, and guests will form a table for ten for free. The wedding procession is mainly composed of the groom, officials and matchmakers. The most exquisite is the bride table. Except for the two "successor aunts" arranged by the man and the "farewell aunt" arranged by the woman (shouldering the historical mission of sending the bride to the man), these people are all women, and they are all young women with both parents and have never been married. This is the minimum requirement. Wine leads to three rounds, and food leads to five flavors. When mushroom soup appeared, the couple began to propose a toast. Respect from the woman's elders, table by table, one by one. It is often introduced by the woman's parents, and the bride and groom pour wine. The guests can pour whatever wine they drink, and the two newlyweds can fill it together to show their respect. Whether they drink or not, they have to fill it up. After a table of people is introduced, pour the wine, and then everyone raises a glass to bless the couple, and it's done. There are often some interesting guests who come out to help, do some tricks and programs, play tricks on new people, knock on some cigarettes or candy, and make everyone happy. When all the guests at this wine table are respected, the bride will start to cry. This custom of "crying for marriage" has a long history. The harder the bride cries, the more reluctant she is to leave her family, and the deeper her feelings for her parents and relatives. Of course, the bride won't cry for nothing, because there are red envelopes! Every close relative who comes to say goodbye to the bride will give her an expensive red envelope as "private money" or support the economy of the newly established family. The bride who got the red envelope cried on the surface, but she was very happy inside. A few cheap tears brought a heavy red envelope, so why not! At this time, I can't tell whether I am reluctant to leave my relatives and cry, or I am excited to receive a red envelope, or both. The bride has cried enough, her purse is full, and her dowry is packed. The man will urge her to leave. This time is often the most emotional time, and the woman's whole family will cry and reluctantly send her daughter to the car. The scene is so touching and shocking! No wonder the woman's family worked hard to raise her daughter into someone else's daughter-in-law. There are even people who will look at it and be moved by it! However, when my daughter grows up, she always wants to get married. It'll be fine after crying. After all, this is a happy day. The wedding procession has grown a lot. In addition to the full dowry, the protagonist bride was added, and then two brothers-in-law and two "farewell" saw the bride off. This brother-in-law had better be eloquent, smart and capable, and have a high capacity for drinking, because our country has a tradition of teasing his brother-in-law. If you can't handle it calmly and get out perfectly, you will have to pay more money! Another custom in my hometown is not to go back. The wedding procession can't go back and forth the same way, which is also one of the strange regulations in our hometown. Banquet is usually the highlight of the wedding procedure. In this process, besides the bride and groom toasting, the most interesting thing is that the kitchen asks the brother-in-law for a red envelope. At the beginning of the banquet, the groom's table was specially taken care of. In addition to serving normal dishes, the kitchen will also serve washing water, towels, cigarettes, wedding banquets, etc., and say a few flattering words. Of course not in vain. Every time, I will send a red envelope. If there are fewer red envelopes, we will continue to try to get more from my brother-in-law until the kitchen is satisfied. People like to watch the fun best. Seeing the kitchen and brother-in-law fighting wits and fighting bravely ended perfectly, what the banquet wants is this lively and festive atmosphere. The end of the banquet is the beginning of the bridal chamber. People will try their best to play tricks on new people until they are satisfied. It is popular in rural areas to undress the bride and groom, as well as shoes and socks bags for aunts. Whoever catches them will show a great sense of accomplishment. At this time, the host family has to exchange cigarettes and sweets and bargain. How happy I am! That's enough fun. It's time for the couple to rest. Today, the status of the bride and groom is very noble. Snacks will be delivered in person and eaten with red dates and lotus seed soup, which means early birth. There are also face washing water and foot washing water. Someone will bring them to you, haha, but they are not free. Be obedient and give out red envelopes, even in the morning. It seems that a wedding is over. In fact, the couple still have some follow-up work to do. First of all, I have to thank the matchmaker. Thank the matchmaker for his gift. This gift is essential, that is, pig's trotters. Sending pig's trotters means that the matchmaker has worked hard to promote a new couple, so he takes a pig's trotters to make up for it and expresses his gratitude. The bigger the trotters, the more sincere they are. In addition to pig's trotters, cigarettes, candy and so on are also given away. The couple's gratitude to the matchmaker is beyond words. On the third day after marriage, the bride and groom will return to the woman's house, which is also essential. Parents-in-law will treat the new uncle warmly and bless the new person. It is also an unwritten rule that you are not allowed to stay at the woman's house at night, whether you come back late or go back to the bridal chamber to rest. After tonight, a couple started a normal and sweet life.