Marriage custom

As far as I know, Jubilance generally needs to give the woman three kinds of money: engagement money, housekeeping expenses and money to buy the bride's clothes and jewelry. Generally, the bride price money ranges from 6,000 to 10000, the housekeeping money is less than the bride price money, and the clothing and jewelry money is generally paid in one lump sum from 20,000 to 30,000 to 50,000. However, all the money is used to buy the bride's clothes, jewelry and other dowry, and other things.

Engagement is engagement. The boy went to the woman's house, had a meal with her relatives, and approved the engagement.

Housekeeping means that a girl and an elder in her family go to the man's house to recognize relatives. In the past, it was to see how the man's family economy was (to prepare a red envelope for the coming elders, generally168,268 yuan)

There are also red envelopes needed when getting married, each 6, 8 yuan.

There is also the wedding money, how much is in the red envelope wrapped in the clothes by her mother-in-law, and how much is put in by her mother-in-law (this money is reserved for young couples, usually how much to say hello in advance).

Actually:

Since ancient times, Shanxi, like other parts of the country, has followed the "six rites" established by the Zhou Dynasty, that is, "receiving gifts, asking names, receiving gifts, inviting parties and welcoming relatives". With the development of society, the procedures of "Six Rites" are constantly simplified. Although the marriage customs in different areas of Shanxi are different, the general evolution trend is from complex to simple. Since modern times, the marriage etiquette in Shanxi has been roughly divided into the following stages:

-Talking about marriage-

Marriage negotiation, also known as "marriage negotiation", is the initial stage for men and women to discuss marriage. In the past, it included several procedures such as "proposing marriage", "posting" and "dating" until the engagement was ready. In this process, it is often the parents of both men and women who decide whether the marriage is successful according to each other's family background, family background and appearance, and both men and women have almost no say.

You can't get married without a matchmaker. At the beginning of marriage negotiation, the parents of the man usually entrust the matchmaker or rely on relatives and friends and neighbors to propose marriage to the woman's house, which is also called "marriage proposal". This procedure is equivalent to the "acceptance" in the "Six Rites".

Engaged.

After the marriage negotiation stage, both men and women have positive opinions on marriage before they can be formally engaged, that is, "engagement" and "engagement" The man solemnly sends a bride price to the woman's house. The amount is generally determined by the time and place, depending on the wealth of the family. This procedure is equivalent to the second half of "Naji" and "Zheng Na" in Six Rites, which is called "Xiacha" in Yanbei area and "Guodali" in Jinnan area.

When a man and a woman are engaged, they usually choose auspicious days, such as the 3rd, 6th and 9th of the lunar calendar. Parents of both sides should hold a banquet for relatives and friends on the selected day, which is called "engagement banquet". The staple food is generally noodles, which means that men and women have become affectionate children's in-laws, so it is also called "eating noodles". In Jinnan Xiangfen and other places, jiaozi is a must at the banquet of the man's family, which means "pinching the mouth", indicating that he hopes not to ask for money and gifts again; Women hold banquets in return for "minced meat noodles", which means no gifts. In Yicheng area, "eating noodles" is limited to women's homes, which is called "eating more noodles".

On the day of engagement, in Lingchuan and other places in the southeast of Shanxi, the man's family will send flour to the woman's family. The flour sent by the woman's house is fried into oil cakes with millet and then sent to the man's house. If the man distributes it to relatives, friends and neighbors, it is called "notice". In Jinnan Wenxi, besides all kinds of clothes, gold and silver jewelry, wine and meat candy, the man gave the woman 90 steamed buns. Besides clothes, shoes and hats, there are all kinds of stationery and dozens of steamed buns. Both men and women slice steamed bread and distribute it to relatives, friends and neighbors. This is the so-called "Saint Xi steamed bread".

In Xiangfen area in the south of Shanxi, the man wants to make up ten things for the woman, which means "perfect". Among the things that the woman gave back to the man, there were ten packages of wheat bran mixed with salt powder. These ten bags of bran salt should be sprinkled on the heads of future in-laws and sisters-in-law, indicating that everyone is blessed (bran) and predestined (salt). In Jinzhong Qixian and other places, both men and women should send each other "four-color gifts". The man gave the woman "engagement clothes", rings, earrings, bracelets and other things, and the woman also gave him Four Treasures of the Study, a fan, a wallet and a belt. Among them, the belt is particularly indispensable, which means "I will tie you up from now on" or "I will serve you with towel bar and take off your clothes".

In many areas of Shanxi, when engaged, people also pay attention to exchanging "dragon and phoenix stickers", that is, red paper stickers with dragons and phoenixes printed on them. The "dragon post" given by the man to the woman is written with the words "good luck", also called "sincere post", which is roughly written as follows: "I am ashamed of my lack of jade, and I pray for my promise. XXX bow. " The "Phoenix Post" given by the woman to the man is widely written with the words "Ji Yun", also called "Cloud Post", which roughly reads: "I am ashamed to compare with the phoenix, and I am willing to behead Lapras. Foolish brother (brother) is embarrassed. " "Dragon and phoenix stickers" are generally in red and gold, and Taiyuan, Datong and other places should be folded into 10% to show that the marriage will last forever (9). Qixian and Pingyao are folded in half, and the date and time of birth of men and women are written around the middle seam, which is just folded in half.

On the day of engagement, in some places in southern Shanxi, the woman will go to the man's house accompanied by relatives. When he came back, the man gave the woman some money and a bundle of cotton, which was called "touching the cotton" or "sticking the flowers", indicating that the friendship would continue from now on.

-Get married-

After the engagement, if both men and women reach the marriage age recognized locally, the parents of the man will hold a banquet to invite the parents and matchmaker of the woman to choose a date, which is called "meeting and choosing a date" in Shouyang and "choosing a date" in Datong and other places. Earlier, teachers of Yin and Yang were usually invited to see auspicious days of the zodiac in advance. Because people think that the wedding date is related to the lives of both men and women, they are very cautious. Parents often postpone their engagement for more than a year or even longer.

After the wedding date is finally selected, the man should formally write a post to inform the woman. Yanbei area is called "general book", and Jinnan and other places are called "good day delivery" and "post-knowledge". This procedure is equivalent to the "invitation period" in Six Rites. In some places in Lvliang, it is only at this time that the bride price is officially given to the woman. Before engagement, it was a "small delivery"; Now I want to marry "Navi" as a "gift".

In most parts of Shanxi, a few days before the wedding or the day before, on the morning of some weddings, the man will send people to send gifts such as hairpin jewelry, clothes, wine and meat to the woman. This ceremony is called "make-up", which means urging the woman to get ready for marriage. Taigu and other places are called "replenishment" and "reimbursement"; Shouyang area is called "dowry", and the woman's dowry is called "dowry". Before the wedding, in Datong area, the man will send flour and meat to the woman's house. Flour is called "leaving mother's noodles" and meat is called "leaving mother's meat".

The day before marriage, the woman should send her daughter's dowry to the man's house, which is called "dowry". In the old days, the dowry was usually tables, chairs, cabinets, clothes, bedding, toiletries, etc., all of which should be labeled with red happy characters or tied with red cloth. Xinzhou, Yanbei and other places pay attention to putting walnuts and dates in the basin of dowry, and then cover them with red paper-cuts; Xiangfen area in the south of Shanxi pays attention to putting chopsticks and walnuts in pillows, putting bran in shoes, and sewing dates and peanuts at the four corners of the quilt. These customs all express the hope that the newlyweds will have children as soon as possible, and both children will have a beautiful and happy relationship.

After receiving the dowry, the man will return some gifts to the woman. In Taiyuan area, what the man sends back to the woman is sake, pig's head and steamed bread rolls, which are called "head boxes".

On the eve of marriage, the woman's family should give her daughter a "head" and "face". "Top" means to change your hairstyle and put your braids in a bun. "Face-opening", also known as "face-opening", is actually a bride's beauty shave, which means the end of her girlhood. Generally, a "blessed person", that is, an elderly woman with in-laws, parents, husbands and children, will be invited to twist the hair off the girl's face with fine thread, trim her eyebrows and trim her sideburns. After the "summit" and "face-opening", the woman should entertain her elders and neighbors, as well as her soon-to-be-married daughter. Folks believe that when a daughter reaches the top, she is a family member, and the family must treat her as a guest, so the banquet is very rich, and her daughter is also arranged at the top of the banquet. Besides congratulating the married girl, the elders and neighbors should also educate her to respect her in-laws, serve her husband well and handle the relationship between good sister-in-law and her aunt.

-Get married-

Wedding, also known as "wedding" and "marrying a wife", is equivalent to "kissing" in "Six Rites". Usually, the groom goes to the bride's house to get married in person, but in some places in Xinzhou and Lvliang, there are also matchmakers or brother-in-law leading the wedding procession, and the groom is waiting at home.

In the past, wedding teams paid attention to various ceremonies. From front to back, there are gunners, gongs, flags, Zhu's "silence", "avoidance", palace lanterns, golden melons, axe cymbals, cymbals, dragon and tiger flags, round fans and sun shades, and drums are indispensable. Generally, the sedan chair takes two rides, and the bride and groom take one ride. When you go, the bride's sedan chair is not empty, and flowers and cakes will be placed in the southern Shanxi area, with green buns as the town objects; In some places in Jinzhong, a little boy who belongs to the same family as the bride and whose parents are still alive sits on a sedan chair, which is called "pressing the sedan chair".

In all the wedding parades in Shanxi, there must be people who accompany the groom. In Zuo Quan area, two people were found among relatives and friends of the elderly, called "Iceman"; Then from the groom's sons and nephews, find someone about the same age as the groom. This is called "introduction". Yanbei Pinglu and other places pay attention to "one woman, one man and two women" and ask the groom's nephew and two brothers to go back with the sedan chair; When she came back, the woman naturally accompanied "a woman and two men" to see her off. At weddings and seeing off relatives in Datong area, both wives are accompanied by skillful etiquette. For those who accompany the groom, Taigu area is called "companionship"; Accompanying the bride is called "seeing the guests off". In addition to "seeing off guests", if the woman goes to another person, it is "eating guests".

Before the daughter got married, there was a custom of "crying to marry" in most parts of Shanxi, which was called "daughter-in-law cries, and her mother's family has money". According to the research of folklore experts, the origin of this custom is related to the ancient "robbing marriage", and then the crying when women were robbed gradually evolved into the "crying marriage" in marriage customs. This is not joy or sadness, but often has its real content. Generally speaking, I lament the end of carefree teenage life, thank my parents for their kindness, miss my brother and sister-in-law getting along well with my girlfriend, and feel very confused about my life transition as a wife and daughter-in-law. If you are dissatisfied with your marriage and feel wronged, you should take the opportunity to play and cry. The bride's mother, girlfriend and family usually cry with her.

After the wedding procession arrives, the bride's door is usually closed and locked by the bride's sister or girl friends. On the one hand, it shows the dignity of the woman's family, on the other hand, it deliberately plays tricks on the guests attending the wedding. Guests attending the wedding are afraid of being late and have to pay an "opening fee". In Luliang Liulin area, when the wedding procession arrives at the woman's door, it is necessary to catch a sheep in front to enter the door, commonly known as "bumping into the door".

After the wedding procession entered the door, the woman hosted a banquet. In Yuci, Jinzhong and other places, when entertaining son-in-law, besides various diets, pancakes are also the staple food. When a new son-in-law must "steal" a dozen cakes, a few pairs of chopsticks and some wine containers, the locals call it "getting rich". Xiangfen area in southern Shanxi pays attention to the "wedding cake" eaten by the bride and groom. In Qinxian and other places in the southeast of Shanxi, before leaving, my daughter wants to eat egg cakes, commonly known as "three eggs and a pot of wine, and send her daughter to a sedan chair."

After leaving, the groom kowtowed to his parents-in-law and said goodbye. In Qixian County, Jinzhong, the father-in-law will wear a red scarf and hairpin for his son-in-law at this time. Then the music was deafening, and the wedding team, escorted by the woman, set off with even greater momentum. "Marry" and "faint" are homophonic. In some places in the south of Shanxi, the ancient custom of the bride getting married at night is still preserved. The bride's family invited the groom to the party and didn't send her daughter out until the first time on duty.

When a daughter gets married and leaves home, there is a custom of not picking up her family in all parts of Shanxi. People believe that "soil can produce everything, and soil can produce gold", and they are afraid that if they take away the soil, they will take away the good luck of planting crops at home. This is naturally a deep-rooted traditional concept in agricultural society. When a daughter gets married, she should put on new shoes on the kang, and then her brother or uncle will carry or lift her sedan chair. Or sit in a chair and be carried into a sedan chair; In some places, the floor is covered with red carpet or red cloth. The daughter took off her old shoes, got into a sedan chair and put on new shoes. No matter how you get out, don't touch the ground.

When the daughter leaves, the mother will circle the sedan chair twice with tears in her eyes, silently wishing her happiness and good luck. My father symbolically escorted "Hundred Steps", and then accompanied by my uncle, brother and younger brother, I saw my relatives off.

The wedding route generally pays attention to taking a big circle and not taking the road on the return trip. According to the location of Qixian village in Jinzhong, Xuanwu (north) enters and Suzaku (south) exits; It is still the saying that the white tiger (west) enters and the Qinglong (east) comes out. The wedding procession should bring a red carpet or red cloth. The red carpet or red cloth is not only used for the bride to step on the sedan chair, but also used to cover the sedan chair window and the bride when passing through the temple, well platform or stone mill, so as to prevent ghosts such as White Tiger Star from worshipping evil spirits and disturbing each other. In other people's wedding procession in Lu Yu, the two sides should exchange "needle and thread", that is, the bride's needle and thread to eliminate disasters. Now, when the wedding teams meet, they will give each other handkerchiefs, which is the tradition.

In the past, sedan chairs or cars were used for weddings. In addition, in some places in the mountainous areas of Lvliang, brides marry and ride donkeys; In Changzhi, Tunliu and other places, the bride and groom should ride horses. There is also a special means of transportation in Pinglu, Yanbei. Mules carry sedan chairs, that is, two mules carry sedan chairs in tandem. On the wedding day, "mule driver" is the most respected. They are wearing new black clothes. With a white towel wrapped around his head, he is dressed very beautifully. It is said that they can not only drive the "mule-carried sedan chair" safely, but also make people suffer from bumps, so they can't pay less.

On wedding day, the makeup of the bride and groom varies from place to place. The groom used to wear a wide-brimmed black helmet, jacket and robe, but later he changed into a uniform. Now he mostly wears a suit and tie. In Jinzhong, Jinnan and other places, the bride's dress is quite special, wearing a rockhopper, an embroidered robe and a jade belt around her waist, just like the image of an empress on the stage. Later, when I was full and didn't wear a python, I changed into a red cotton-padded jacket; Don't wear rockhopper, wear brown glasses, all wear fashion.

-Wedding-

When the wedding procession returned to the man's home, gongs and drums rang, firecrackers rang, and the man's relatives and neighbors flocked out to meet the bride. In the area of Qinxian County in the southeast of Shanxi Province, the bride's sedan chair landed on a red quilt. After the bride asked for the money for the sedan chair, she walked into the gate on the red carpet with the help of a "all-blessing person" The mother-in-law then symbolically swept the car three times with a broom, took a handful of dirt home and put it under the mat at the corner of the kang in the new house. This is called "sweeping the soil of sedan chair", which is about the opposite of the custom of "not taking the soil from one's mother's family" You are afraid of bringing your family's soil and affecting her crops; I will do my best to sweep some for my own cultivation.

In some places in Shanxi, after the bride gets off the sedan chair, she should sprinkle a lot of things such as straw, bran, melon seeds, peanuts, walnuts and chestnuts on her body, and at the same time recite compliments. This custom is called "spreading grass" or "spreading happy fruit", which has a very old origin and is said to have been popular as early as the Han Dynasty. Formerly known as "Sagudou", it is intended to ward off evil spirits such as Qingyang, Wuji and Qingniu. Later, it gradually evolved from exorcism to good luck. The area in the south of Shanxi still retains its ancient meaning. Yicheng is called "playing five ghosts" and Fushan is called "casting new people".