Folk customs in Xiaozuo town

From choosing a spouse to getting married formally, according to Zhou's "Six Gifts", there are six procedures: "accepting gifts, asking names, accepting gifts, inviting Japan and welcoming relatives". However, the "six rites" did not include the whole process of the wedding ceremony, among which only the "kiss" was the ceremony on the wedding day, and the other five rites were all pre-marital ceremonies. As for the rituals that need to be performed after the wedding day, it is impolite to follow them in the "six rituals". Moreover, since ancient times, the trip to the Six Rites has been extremely inconsistent, and there have been many changes in past dynasties. Quanzhou in the Southern Song Dynasty followed Zhu and only used the three rituals of "accepting, accepting and welcoming"; Ming Hui 'an only uses the four rituals of "accepting, accepting, inviting and welcoming", and the spring belongs to more than five counties. "Kissing" is the most important thing in a wedding ceremony, and both "three ceremonies" and "four ceremonies" are essential. Because the traditional wedding architecture in China is based on the ancient "Six Rites", although some modern wedding procedures have been simplified, the purpose of the Six Rites is still comfortable in the traditional concept.

First, before marriage

Choose a spouse:

In addition to blind date, it is equivalent to "receiving gifts", "asking names" and "concubinage" in the ancient six rites. "Naji" later evolved into today's subscription (some people "recruited" subscriptions).

"Parents' orders, matchmaker's words": Men and women must obey "parents' orders, matchmaker's words" in marriage matters. Later, I found some relatives and friends as matchmakers. When determining the intention to marry relatives, you can also ask some parents for their opinions on marriage as a reference.

"mention birthday": that is, discuss relatives. The matchmaker sent the Geng stickers of both men and women to each other's home and put them under the incense burner in the main room. If both sides are safe within three days, it will be called "three yen". If one party doesn't have "three yen", the proposal must be cancelled.

Blind date: With the consent of both parents, the man's family will visit the woman's house on a date chosen by his grandmother, mother, uncle, aunt and other women to actually check her appearance and appearance.

To be engaged/engaged (to [somebody])

It is equivalent to the "levy" and "invitation period" in the ancient Six Rites.

"Stress": also known as subscription. Generally, male and female elders send rings, documents, wedding candy and other gifts to the woman's home, and personally put the ring on the finger of the married woman to announce that the marriage is settled.

"Front plate of sedan chair": After the wedding, the man prepares three rich bride price gifts and sends them to his wife's house, which are called "wearing bracelets", "sending flowers" and "front plate of sedan chair", which are collectively called "gifts". Since the late Qing Dynasty, "gift giving" has gradually merged into the "sedan chair front plate", which is called "flower stack plate" or "plate loading". In some places, "wedding ceremony" and "gift ceremony" are held together. "Gift-giving" pushes premarital preparation to a climax, while the central content of "gift-giving" and "pledge" focuses on money and goods. The man's family sends bride price and gifts to the woman's family to reward the adopted daughter.

"Send the sun": When sending "Pan Dan", the woman's family should be informed of her auspicious day and wedding date, which is called "send the sun".

"Dowry": One or two days before the wedding, the woman's family will send people to send many dowries to the man's family, such as gold and silver jewelry, pearls, jade antiques, silks and satins. In the old society, there was a custom of giving knives and axes to the She nationality in Dehua to marry.

Second, marriage.

The groom must go to the bride's house to meet the bride, which is called "pro-welcoming" in the ancient "six rites".

In the early Qing Dynasty, in Quanzhou's wedding customs, except for a few bureaucrats, no relatives attended the wedding; By the deadline, make a sedan chair and send the media to the woman's house.

Ancient books explain the original meaning of marriage in this way: salute when unconscious, so it is called "marriage"; A woman marries her husband, so it is called "marriage". Therefore, in ancient times, the wedding ceremony had to be held after dusk, even late at night, and even all the people who saw me off had to wear black dresses, which was obviously a relic of the ancient custom of robbing relatives at night.

In the old days, all weddings in Quanzhou were held in the daytime, but the bride had to wear a black headscarf and a pair of sedan chair headlights, which should be the remains of the night wedding along the ancient ceremony.

The bride's wedding is a happy event, but it is necessary to "cry and marry" to show sadness, both in the north and the south. It may be that we are sad when we think separately, or do as the Romans do, but folklore scholars believe that this is the legacy of predatory marriage in primitive society.

When the sedan chair arrived at the man's house, gongs, drums and firecrackers were ringing and jubilant.

When the groom arrived at the sedan chair, he gently kicked the sedan chair door like a horse. The bride in the sedan chair responded immediately and kicked the sedan chair door. This is a special language to announce to people that men will not be afraid of their wives in the future.

A young man of the same age or a boy of the next generation got on the sedan chair and asked the bride to get off it; Then the bride was led out of the sedan chair by the lucky female elder, and the bride was sent to hold up a rice screen with the words "Double Happiness" to cover her face. In the joy of the three links, the bride walked slowly through the stove, stepped on the tiles and entered the bridal chamber.

It is said that "sifting rice" and "stepping on tiles" are meant to ward off evil spirits, but Anxi people have a unique explanation, saying that this means that after the demise of the Ming Dynasty, their lonely ministers and old people still hope to "clear the sky and regain their sight" and teach newlyweds the hidden meaning of "not stepping on the ground". As for "crossing the stove", people think that the evil spirits provoked by the bride at home and along the way can be burned with the power of Vulcan.

When the bride arrives at her husband's house, there are other programs, such as worshipping heaven and earth, picking black towels, toasting and entertaining guests. Among them, the bridal chamber is the finale of the wedding. As the saying goes, the bridal chamber is not noisy, neither happy nor unlucky, and it can be noisy continuously within seven days of marriage. There is a saying that it doesn't matter whether it is big or small within seven days. The content of the bridal chamber is mostly about newlyweds, and it is humorous and interesting to make all kinds of wedding actions in public.

"Rooster Marries Wife": In Jinjiang, Shishi and other places, young overseas Chinese who have fixed the wedding date cannot go home to get married on time in the near future for various reasons. With the consent of both parents, the wedding was held as scheduled, and the groom was replaced by a rooster. The rooster was placed under the bed of the bridal chamber within seven days, moved to the outdoor henhouse after seven days, and carefully raised until his death.

Third, after marriage

After the wedding day, the wedding ceremony is not over yet.

Attend the wedding: At the dawn of the second day of the wedding, the groom will accompany the bride and be led into the wedding hall by the woman who leads the bride. First, they will worship their ancestors, and then meet their in-laws and relatives in turn (today or in the afternoon of the wedding day). This is essential, because the bride can only be considered a member of the man's family if she has worshipped her ancestors. In order to start a new life in the future, it is necessary to know the seniority of the husband's family, which is a compulsory course for bride ethics education.

On the third day of their wedding, the groom accompanied the bride, also led by the woman who was the "bride", to the "kitchen" (that is, let the bride touch all kinds of drinking utensils and tableware and let the bride draw water from a nearby well. These symbolic housework aims to familiarize the bride with the new living environment, commonly known as "leaving the kitchen feet", which is before the bride enters the role of housewife.

"Going to the table": At noon on the third day of marriage, a special banquet is held in the hall for the bride, called "going to the table", accompanied by her husband's wife and consorts. From then on, the bride really became a member of her husband's family.

"Visiting at home": On the third day of marriage, there is a custom of "visiting at home", that is, the bride's younger brother (or cousin) visits her sister at her brother-in-law's house, and the uncle will be given a red envelope as soon as the man's house meets, which is called "tying a shirt". There are different opinions about the significance of exploring houses. One is the daughter of the bride's family who is worried about being married to her husband's family for three days, and sends her younger brother to visit: Is there harmony and life safety? At the same time, "Auntie" has to complete another important task, that is, urging her sister to return to her family and inviting her new brother-in-law to be a new son-in-law in Yuejia. Since looking at the house is the first emotional exchange between the two parties to the marriage, the "aunt" banquet will be rich, for fear that the money will not be served well.

Meeting relatives: On the fifth day of the wedding (now it is customary to get married the next day), just before dawn, the bride's first husband returned to her parents' house, saluted her parents and elders, and told her about her new life in her husband's house for three days. The bride's family hosted a banquet at noon.

Inviting son-in-law: On the night of the wedding, a banquet was held in honor of the new son-in-law, accompanied by his wife and uncle. Today's custom is generally a luncheon, which is held by the participants together. This is the first time that the new son-in-law came to the Yue family and met the main relatives of the Yue family, so the banquet was extremely grand. After the banquet, the young couple will go back to her husband's house with a guide chicken and a long-tailed cane. At this point, the wedding ceremony was basically completed.

After marriage, there are customs such as sending flowers and festivals between the daughter and her family several times a year.

In the eastern coastal area of Hui 'an, there was a custom that women lived in their parents' home for a long time after marriage. The bride will go back to her parents' home for a long time three days after her marriage. Only during holidays and busy farming every year will she stay at her husband's house several times, about ten days a year. How long you live in your mother's house depends on the time of pregnancy, ranging from two or three years to one or two decades. If you stay at your parents' house too short, people will laugh at you. But for too long, it will also be considered disgraceful. If you are old and not pregnant, the expedient measure is to let your in-laws adopt a child, so that you can live in your in-laws for a long time. Scholars have different opinions on the causes of this custom: either it is the legacy of marriage custom in the transitional period from matriarchal system to paternal system in primitive society; Or the legacy of ancient minority marriage customs; Or we should discuss the reasons from the economic aspects of gender division of labor, and so on.