A detailed introduction to traditional marriage customs

In the old society, the feudal arranged marriage system was implemented. "Parents' orders and matchmakers' words" were insurmountable, and men and women had no room for free choice. It is also common for an old man to marry a little girl and a big girl to marry a son-in-law. Therefore, after marriage, feelings are incompatible and often abused. The woman who complained to the county government was regarded as "rude" and had to "commit suicide" (cut her neck with a knife), hang herself and drink opium. Some young men in rural areas can't afford the bride price because their families are poor, so the man sells his labor to the woman's family for three to five years. When the service fee can resist the bride price, the man can marry the girl back. Some young people go to the woman's house to "recruit a son-in-law", but the condition is generally that the woman's parents are both dead. Some young people can't afford a wife, and it is not uncommon to be "single" all their lives. Under the bondage of feudal ethics, some young men and women can't get married by good marriage, so they have to hate it all their lives.

In the past, the marriage procedure was very complicated, mainly including:

Marry each other. When a man's parents choose a wife for their son, they must first know the woman's "birthday" and then ask Mr. Yin and Yang to "get married". According to the ethics of gold, wood, water, fire and earth, the "rules" set by Mr. Yin and Yang in the book Jade Sagger, such as: "I don't want to be a chicken, but a chicken is a golden life"; A garrison has put Yamakaji ",Hai is a pig, and it is a fire. According to the ethics of "Huo, Huo", real gold is not afraid of fire, so it can be married. Another example is "I built a big forest in the afternoon". I am a snake, and the snake is a "wooden life", and in the case of a chicken, it is a "Jin Kemu", but wood can't be used for alchemy, and the chicken and the snake's destiny takes a hand can't match, that is, marriage is incompatible. Man's "destiny" is based on "Jin Kemu" and "Muketu"; Some so-called "rules" such as "earth can control water", "water can control fire" and "fire can control gold" are different. For example, if water is ordered to match fire, it will become "water can control fire" and "fire can control water", which can be regarded as the combination of fire and water, that is, water can extinguish fire, fire can eliminate water, and you can get married. Look at "Zodiac" and "Zodiac". what's up "Since ancient times, white horses are afraid of green cows. As soon as the sheep and mouse meet and stop, the dragon sees the rabbit cloud and the golden rooster sees the dog's tears. "All the above zodiac signs are considered taboo, and horses, cows, chickens and dogs cannot be combined. In addition, it depends on the "year of birth" of men and women. Mainly according to the month and date of birth, Yin and Yang teachers have to talk about the so-called "rules". In the old society, many young men and women's good marriages were broken up because of the marriage of Yin and Yang teachers. Some young people are extremely disgusted and angrily rebuke Japan: "Yin and Yang gossip, dog bags lie." Some people also said, "Listen to the words of three yin and one yang, and you can't get into the donkey trough. "

In the old society, some individuals got married without fulfilling the procedures of "marriage" and "fate". Especially in 1949, Linze was liberated, and people were devastated in that messy and bandit-ridden era. Some farmers used two weaving horses or two buckets of wheat to send their girls out in order to avoid the adultery of Kuomintang stragglers and bandits. It is not uncommon for mother and daughter to cry with their heads held. But I haven't seen it yet. If you don't "marry" or "meet", your family will be ruined and your family will die, or it will be "three difficulties and eight difficulties". Most of what I see is family harmony and stable life.

Bridal gift. After "matchmaking" and "marriage", the man wants to hire a "matchmaker" (Linze is mostly the man's matchmaker). Now it's time for the introducer to propose marriage, and decide how many tables (cash), how many sets of clothes, even boxes of shoes and socks, rouge pollen, a few feet of headrope, engagement date and so on. By the time they got married, the man's family was poor.

In the old society, it was not uncommon for women to get married at the age of 14 or 15 and have children at the age of 15 because there were no "regulations" from the government. Because some families can't afford a "little daughter", they give it to others at an early age to support their families. When their daughters grow up to be teenagers and can get married, they will be given a "headdress" (the braid is scattered and the comb is called a "child bride").

When getting married, the man should ask the teacher of Yin and Yang to choose an auspicious day, such as "the 13th of the first month, the 11th of February, the 9th of March, the 7th of April, the 5th of May and the 3rd of June". Generally, you can't get married on Singles' Day, traditional day or the year your family died. There are many days when you can't get married. Some people actually put off their wedding for several months or even a year before they can choose "auspicious day". When getting married, the man's family should invite the woman's parents to eat at the same table (meaning allowing marriage). If the woman's parents don't agree to choose a fixed date, they should postpone another date. If the woman's family agrees to get married, the son-in-law will send invitations to her relatives. When the new son-in-law recognizes his new relatives, he must kneel and kowtow, and get married and hold a banquet. On the wedding day, both men and women should decorate their homes, put up wedding invitations, entertain guests and hold banquets. Because there are rich and poor, rich families are naturally more lively and crowded. Poor families can't afford to wait for drinks, so they cook a light meal or simply fry a few dishes to entertain relatives and friends. When getting married, the man's family should prepare a "pro-car", generally using reed mats as boxcars, and wealthy families should generally prepare a boxcar. The shed should be carpeted with red carpet, and the car should also be carpeted with red carpet. In addition to "pro-car", we should also prepare several passenger cars, mostly ox carts. Some rich families use mules and horses for weddings, including "two sets" (one horse stands upright and one mule pulls the sheath) and "three sets" (two mules pull the sheath), sometimes as many as seven or eight carts, and the wedding carts are vast. The new son-in-law rides a horse, usually wearing a robe, hat and red silk hydrangea. After arriving at the bride's house, the bride's house will entertain the married people, and the new son-in-law will set the table separately for entertainment. When the bride gets on the bus, she should use red silk or red cloth as a "veil", and relatives or family members (whose zodiac signs must be the same as those of the bride and groom, such as pigs, rabbits, sheep, snakes, chickens and cows) will carry the bride on the bus. The woman's family also needs a boy to press the sedan chair. Plus, there are only four people in the wedding farewell car. The bride holds lamps and bowls, rice and noodles in her arms, indicating that girls should have their own place in her husband's family. Rich families give girls a lot of money. Besides clothes, they have to pay for big cabinets, boxes, red carpets, carpets and washing utensils. Some spoiled girls from rich families, almost girls who want everything, want their parents to pay for everything, even smoking stoves and shoe cabinets. Otherwise, if the girl cries and doesn't get on the bus, it will be difficult for her parents to deal with it. When the sedan chair came back, the new son-in-law rode a horse, and the mule and horse galloped like flies. Everyone avoided along the way, and every car gave way. Every time someone gets married, the new son-in-law has to "change hands" with the other person (change handkerchiefs, and the bride has to change handkerchiefs). There are relatives and friends and family members waiting for the wedding at the door. When the bride gets off the bus, in some places, a suitable man takes the bride to a new house or a wedding. In other places, it is emphasized that the bride should get off the bus and not step on the ground. Two red carpets (or white carpets) should be used instead of carpets to introduce the bride and groom to the hospital. At the same time, we must "ward off evil spirits" and "pay homage to the bride and groom", sprinkle grain to the bride and groom, pay homage to heaven and earth, pay homage to the high hall, pay homage to the couple, and then enter the bridal chamber. Men and women who are taboo (such as pigs, rabbits and sheep) should avoid these animals, and pigs, rabbits and sheep are not allowed to run in circles. A brazier, a pile of firewood and a bowl of clear water should also be placed at the entrance of the new house to show the harmony between fire and water. The bride should come in with the lock on the door open. In the new house, the bride and groom want to drink tea (dates and brown sugar), and the cups and ears are connected with red ropes. The bride and groom only drank one or two drinks, and the rest were shared by young women and dolls, and some young men also rushed to drink. That night, bridal chamber, bridal chamber, making bed, trampling on bed and other activities. It should be done. The "longevity lamp" should be lit in the room, and it can't be put out day and night. The next morning, the bride will sweep the floor for her in-laws and kowtow to the elders at home. Newlyweds will eat jiaozi with their teeth. If there are earrings and rings in the stuffing, the new wife will eat them, even if they are from her mother-in-law. Some brother-in-law and sister-in-law plan to wrap peppers and salt in jiaozi as a sign for their newlyweds, but they are not easy to handle. The groom will invite his parents-in-law to visit him. On the third day, the newlyweds return to their parents' homes, which is called "returning to the door". They must return on the same day and must not sit in their mother's house for a long time. It is said that after sitting for a long time, you will become lazy after coming to your husband's house.

A man who has lost his spouse is called a "mistress" when he remarries, and a woman is called a "widow". After the agreement with the host's family, all kinds of manners and customs are exempted, and the man will go to the car to pull people in the dark, and will not see him off, say hello, fire a gun or entertain guests.