What is the custom of marrying a daughter in southern Fujian?

The ancient marriage customs in southern Fujian are extremely complicated, but those mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who are not afraid of trouble enjoy it. A new wife must look at the door first. After three days, nothing happened in both houses. If you are satisfied, move on to the next step. If any family breaks something in these three days, or a child bumps into something, or something unlucky happens, then even if they are satisfied, they can only give up. In addition, it is impossible to match the age difference of birthdays with 3, 6 or 9, which is the custom in many places. The next step is to choose a good day to watch, choose a good day, the man's parents bring four-color candy biscuits, prepare red envelopes or ornaments, and go to the woman's house. If they are satisfied, they will stay at the woman's house for a light meal. If the woman's family is satisfied, they will let the girl out and pour a cup of tea for the guests before dinner. If they are not satisfied, girls won't come out, so men don't have to stay for dinner. After dinner, the man will leave a red envelope or jewelry as a gift for the girl. It's just a gift, and neither side will care about the amount. This marriage is half done.

In southern Fujian, engagement is more important than marriage. No matter whether there is a marriage certificate or not, as long as you are engaged, this marriage is over half. In the countryside, everyone recognizes that you have a family. It is the same as marrying a daughter-in-law who comes and goes. Talking about this engagement is also extremely troublesome. Before engagement, the two sides should agree on how much dowry, including: dowry, girl's clothing expenses, jewelry, candy and biscuits, cigarettes, food and drinks at the woman's house, and so on. Of course, most of them are converted into money now. On that day, the man's family will call twenty or thirty relatives early in the morning, and the woman will carry three incense sticks to worship her ancestors, and then go to the temples in Shili Baxiang separately. It takes about noon from morning. Generally, under the leadership of the groom-to-be and his parents, the man comes to the woman's house with three raw fish, four-color candy, biscuits and fruits and a part of the dowry (the rest is reserved for the bride to enter the house). The woman's family also called a dozen relatives. First, give a snack red envelope to every guest in the man's house, and then list what the man sent as going to Shili Baxiang to make pilgrimages. The woman's family will let the girl out for tea after the guests have finished their snacks. When this tea is served, the prospective mother-in-law will naturally wear a full set of jewelry for the prospective daughter-in-law (jewelry must be paired). In the future, the mother-in-law will naturally put a ring on the prospective son-in-law, and then wait for the relatives who worship incense to come back for a lively meal. This marriage is settled.

Next, it's time to talk about marriage. In many places in southern Fujian, families with girls are worried. This dowry often makes many families sell iron to marry women. Generally speaking, the bride should double the dowry (for example, the man should send 50,000 yuan, and the woman's family should at least marry100,000 yuan). Of course, there are many rich families, with millions of dowry, and few without money, but generally it will not be less than twice the dowry. At worst, the bride price was returned intact and accompanied by a little more, so in southern Fujian, boys were particularly favored.

It is natural to prepare all kinds of necessities before marriage. I'm not talking about furniture or anything, I'm talking about something else As the wedding day approaches, the girl's family should prepare some established things in advance: coarse grains (meaning that the girl will return to the past five melons), red flowers on the table (meaning auspicious flowers in the bride's room), filial piety cloth (white cloth tied with red rope is enough for the girl to make a mourning suit in the future, meaning that her in-laws will live for a hundred years), and seven buckets (including washbasins, buckets and bathtubs for future children). Two boxes (this box is for clothes and dowry, which is carried by bridesmaids and others on the wedding day, and then put in the hall to count the dowry in public, so it is natural to put money on it. Everyone knows how much a daughter-in-law's dowry is. Of course, some dowry is a passbook and a house, written in red paper and brought into a photo frame.

Three days or one day before the wedding, there is a custom of serving dishes (three days and one day, depending on both sides). This dish is listed as four-color candy, biscuits and fish. Now many people exchange money directly to the woman, and the woman buys it herself, leaving some manpower. By that day, the man only picked a few interesting dishes, which, of course, was amazing in some coastal areas. One load 100 kg, ranging from 36 loads to 72 loads. On the day of serving, the woman will invite more than a dozen relatives to each household in the village to distribute candy and biscuits in pairs. In those coastal areas, these are divided into a pot of soup, so these dozens of loads of candy and biscuits are needed. Some villages with a large population are not enough, so women have to pay for themselves. I don't usually have that much here, just four sweets and four biscuits per household. According to the schedule, the two sides will still ask many relatives to help them go to the temples in Shili Baxiang to make pilgrimages, so don't mention the trouble and fatigue.

It's finally the wedding day. This is a kind of enjoyment. It's all here, needless to say. On that day, the groom came to marry the beautifully dressed bride, who was accompanied by his younger brother or brother and uncles and aunts. In some coastal areas, a yellow hat is worn at weddings, and the hat just covers her face with black gauze. I forgot to mention that in many places, the bride should ask an old man to twist her face before getting married, which is called opening her face. When they arrive at a man's house, the bridegroom's next of kin must quit first, and the bride goes straight into the new house until tea is invited. This tea invitation is also very particular. The tea was brought by the bride and contained lead powder. As I said before, it is for affinity, also called sweetness. First, send tea to your in-laws. Please read some auspicious words to the old people who specialize in this matter. In many places, new people will kneel to their parents when serving tea. In order to thank parents for their kindness, the bride will give her in-laws a gift after tea, usually gold ornaments, and of course clothes, and her in-laws will also seal a red envelope for their new wife as a gift. Then the new wife sends tea to the groom's uncles, aunts, sisters and brothers. Every time they finish drinking tea, they exchange gifts. This gift is usually hand-decorated clothes, and rich people grow up. Brides often spend tens of thousands of yuan on bride price, while those from poor families only spend three or five hundred yuan. This tea has also been invited out. Is the wedding reception here? Oh, not yet.

On the second day of the wedding, before dawn, the bride's younger brother came to take the bride home, coming at three or four in the morning and five or six in the evening. The groom will go to the bride's house for lunch. On this day, the bride's family invited the groom and relatives of the bride's family. It's called repeat customers. According to the arrangement, the groom will take the bride home after dinner, and the bride's family will prepare two sugar cane with a head and a tail and two chickens (a male and a female) to take home to the couple. When approaching, someone will inform the groom's family first, and they should avoid the bride first, and then they can come out to meet when the bride enters the door (this is called avoiding relatives, meeting in southern Fujian is called "blocking", and quarreling is also called "blocking". This avoidance is also to avoid quarreling in the future). The bride has to go back to the house three times within one month of the wedding. The remaining two times are not as complicated as the first time, but she can't go back to the groom's house until dark. At this point, the marriage was successfully completed. People in the city generally don't pay attention to these things, just like other places. )