What are the ways to deal with daily situations?

(1) Keep a proper distance from people.

Talking is usually to communicate with others. To achieve this goal, first of all, of course, we should pay attention to the content of the speech, and secondly, we should pay attention to the weight of the voice when speaking, so that the interlocutors can understand it. In this way, you must keep your distance from the interlocutor when you speak. Keeping a proper distance from others when speaking is not entirely due to the consideration of whether the other person can hear himself clearly. In addition, there is a question of how to be more polite. Politely speaking, speaking too far away from the other person will make the other person mistakenly think that you don't want to be friendly with him, which is obviously impolite. But if you talk to people at close range, a little carelessness will splash foam on others' faces, which is the most annoying. Some people, because they have the habit of talking close to others, know that others' scruples are splashed by their own mouth foam, so they cover their mouths with their hands first. Doing so is tantamount to "whispering", which is ugly and not generous enough. Therefore, from the point of etiquette, it is generally most appropriate for one or two people to keep their distance. Doing so can not only make the other person feel a kind atmosphere, but also keep a certain "social distance", which is also the most comfortable among the subjective feelings of ordinary people.

(2) Address others appropriately

Whether they are old friends or new friends, they should call each other as soon as they meet. Everyone wants to be respected by others, and people value their position. Calling a person with a title his title is a great respect for him. Names only apply to people who are closely related. If you have a special relationship with people with titles, it will be more cordial to call them by their first names, but it will be more appropriate for you to call them by their first names in public and social occasions. For intellectuals, they can be directly called by their professional titles. But for degrees, except for doctors, other degrees can't be used as titles.

(3) Good at oral conversation

No matter celebrities or ordinary people, both sides of the conversation should be equal. Generally speaking, we choose topics with common interests. But some issues that should not be touched, such as the other person's age, income, the value of personal belongings, marital status, religious beliefs, etc., are better left untouched. It is impolite and uncultured to inquire about these things.

Language is a basic tool and an important link in interpersonal communication. Politeness, humor, appropriate words, appropriate tone, appropriate weight and so on constitute an organic whole of language beauty in interpersonal communication. Young college students must constantly sum up in interpersonal communication, improve and cultivate social language art.

1. Pay attention to language skills.

Language is a basic tool and an important link in interpersonal communication. Politeness, humor, proper words, proper tone, proper weight and so on constitute an organic whole of language beauty in interpersonal communication, and young people must constantly sum up, improve and cultivate it in interpersonal communication.

People who are proficient in using language skills can speak with speaking skills that are in line with the audience, environment, situation and topic, and their body language and tone can also fully cooperate with the language. Therefore, social language art occupies a very important position when communicating with people. Besides, what we call "communication" is mostly carried out through language.

Therefore, college students should pay special attention to social language art in interpersonal communication. If the other person is satisfied with your body language, then they will pay attention to what you say. At this time, what you say must match the overall first impression in order to attract the attention of the other party. Communicate what you want to say to each other in an orderly way with the right language, and consolidate the good impression left by factors other than your language.

Just like body language and tone, good speaking skills can attract each other. On the contrary, inappropriate language will also make you lose confidence or make others feel unhappy.

The art of social language is mastered through practice. You can also learn, summarize and improve in non-communication, such as listening to the recording of your speech and analyzing it before communication. You can also recall a reaction when you speak, whether you agree or disagree; Then analyze the reasons and correct them; You can also find out the reasons that impress you strongly from other people's successful speeches. In this way, I can constantly improve my oral English.

Try to overcome it and use less dissatisfied words. This is an important language skill that must be mastered in interpersonal communication. The so-called language fails to express its meaning, which is the language that will hurt the influence and appeal of the language, generally including "connectives", "determiners" and "differences"

Connectives-meaningless words, such as "um", "er" and "ah". Using these meaningless words in interpersonal communication will destroy the coherence and rhythm of words, make the other person feel anxious, and even divert the other person's attention from what you want to express. It is best to pay attention consciously and avoid such words in words. Whenever you want to blurt out, keep silent and give the other person time to think about what you just said. Sometimes silence can produce special effects.

Determiners-such as "However …", although I can't assert it, but … ","Although I don't know the details, but … ",and so on. In interpersonal communication, determiners are also an unsatisfactory language, which will hurt your credibility and reduce the value of your speech. It is more difficult to deal with than conjunctions.

These excuses are often accompanied by unconfident language and gestures, such as drooping eyelids, leaning forward, unnatural smiles and unconfident voices. This situation will definitely make your words lose authority. Especially when meeting someone for the first time.

In interpersonal communication, we should avoid using determiners, and at the same time, we should pay attention to avoid bowing our heads, not looking directly at each other, and speaking in a moderate voice. This will prevent the other party from thinking that you have no confidence and can't make up your mind. Speak in a clear tone.

Different languages-the most unsatisfactory of the three unsatisfactory languages. Connectives and determiners don't necessarily offend each other, and are more easily forgiven. However, different languages will alienate others, criticize others, insult others, make each other mean and make communication fail, even if you are unintentional, even if your expression is sincere and your tone is gentle.

When men and women are together, don't have one language that is more important than the other; When people of different ages live together, there should be no language that belittles the elderly, and there should be no disrespect for the elderly, such as calling them "old men" and "old women".

Pay attention to what you say, and don't use special terms or terms that others don't understand casually, so as not to make people feel alienated. Don't show off technical terms, legal terms and technical terms, and give the other person a feeling of listening to gobbledygook, otherwise the other person will think that you are too arrogant and have no consideration for the person you are talking to.

In addition, in interpersonal communication, we should try to avoid using language that is not suitable for the occasion and situation at that time, such as speaking seriously in a joking tone and keeping a straight face when chatting easily; Interrupting irrelevant words in other people's conversation will make them feel unhappy.

In short, in communication, never use the language that leads you to break up with the other party. If you are worried about this situation, you can directly ask the other person which way you want to express it; You can know each other's personality in advance; You can ask the other person for your address, which is better than apologizing afterwards.

2. Enrich your language vocabulary

Language is the main tool to communicate interpersonal relationships and human feelings. However, college students often say, "I don't know how to use language when I speak." Or: "I really don't know how to express it." One problem is to constantly enrich your vocabulary and improve your expressive ability. Rich vocabulary allows you to choose the most appropriate, accurate, vivid and attractive words; Rich vocabulary can help you solve difficult problems and negotiate successfully.

Of course, rich vocabulary can be acquired through learning and accumulation, from books, newspapers, radio, movies, colleagues … as long as you put your heart into it. But enriching one's language vocabulary mainly depends on practice.

3. Pay attention to the beauty of language in communication

If the eyes are the windows of the soul, then language is the source of the soul. People always like the water in Ming Che, but they hate the muddy sewage. Linguistic beauty is an important part of communicative beauty.

(1) clean. Swearing, vulgar, uneducated, annoying. This is an important aspect that college students should pay attention to in interpersonal communication. College students have a certain cultural accomplishment, so it is the foundation and the key to pay attention to the beauty of language.

(2) elegance. Language is used by everyone, but there are differences between elegance and vulgarity. For example, after the fire burns, the flame is gone, but the fire debris is still there. In some places, the remains of fire are called fire excrement or unburned fire. The cigarette butts left after smoking are called cigarette butts or cigarette butts by some people. Firedust and cigarette butts are more elegant and beautiful than fire excrement and cigarette butts. In interpersonal communication, to make the language elegant, the most important thing is to improve your knowledge. At the same time, it is also important to learn to use euphemism, such as asking others what their last name is and saying "what's your last name"; I hope others will visit and say "welcome"; Let others comment and say "please give me advice"; Ask the old man his age and say, "How old are you?" Being good at using euphemistic language will make people feel that you are very knowledgeable and cultured, and you will feel like it for a while. Of course, we advocate that language should be elegant, and we don't want people to chew over words or pretend to be mysterious, which will become the opposite of affectation and language beauty.

(3) love. In other words, language should be emotional. The feelings of language are not only contained in its content, but also vividly reflected in its content. Obviously, the language used to congratulate people is different from the language used to mourn or comfort people, and there are also differences in tone and sense of sound. Language that expresses feelings can greatly enhance the effect of language, while language without feelings is always unpopular. We should be good at enriching our feelings into language.

(4) humor. Humor is a kind of ability that people are good at grasping the ridiculous or comic features in life and showing them. A sense of humor is the flash of wisdom and the elegant demeanor of talent. People with humorous language have unique communicative advantages. Many comedians are not outstanding, but people like them because of their humorous language. One day, Goethe, a famous German writer, met a violent attacker on a path in the park. The critic proudly said, "I never give way to fools." Goethe replied, "I am just the opposite." Say that finish let aside. This is humor. To learn to understand and be good at using humor, we need to strengthen our cultivation from two aspects. First, cultivate feelings, improve personality and lead an optimistic life; The second is to increase intelligence, enrich knowledge and be vigilant. Although not everyone can become a master of humor, it is possible to make humorous cells grow on themselves.

Humorous language

Speaking humorously and wisely is a high art. Using this art in social conversation will get good results.

When you meet for the first time, humorous talk will win the favor of the other party. When there is a conflict between the two sides, humorous conversation will bury the hatchet. Critical dialogue with a sense of humor is acceptable. When you are tired from work, tell some humorous jokes to give people a positive rest. In a word, humor is an indispensable lubricant in social interaction.

After War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression's victory, Zhang Daqian, a famous Chinese painting master, will return to his hometown in Sichuan from Shanghai. Before leaving, his student Mi Yun Geng gave a farewell dinner to the master. Celebrity such as Mei Lanfang was invited to attend the banquet. At the beginning of the banquet, Mr. Zhang Daqian toasted Mei Lanfang and said, "Mr. Mei, you are a gentleman and I am a villain. Let me propose a toast to you first. " Mei Lanfang didn't understand what this meant and asked with a smile, "What's the explanation?" Mr Daqian smiled and replied: "You are a gentleman-talk, I am a villain-start work." Mr. Zhang Daqian's humor made the guests laugh.

Reagan said: "in life, humor can promote human health;" Politically, humor is good for your image and score. Dure his first visit to Canada as president of that United states, his speech was interrupt from time to time by people holding anti-American demonstrations. Canadian Prime Minister pierre trudeau was embarrassed and frowned, but he said to Trudeau with a big smile: "This kind of thing happens from time to time in the United States. I think these people must have come to your country from America. They want me to feel at home. " This humorous remark made Trudeau smile. When Reagan decided to resume production of the new B- 1 bomber, many Americans objected. At a news conference, facing a group of people who opposed his decision, he said, "Why didn't I know that B- 1 was an airplane? I only know that B- 1 is an indispensable vitamin for human body. I think our army must also need this indispensable thing. "His words are humorous and firm, and it is difficult to say anything to his opponent.

When encountering provocative questions, sometimes it is better to answer them in humorous language than to refute them directly. When Edison devoted himself to making incandescent light bulbs, someone made fun of him and said, "Sir, you have failed 1200 times." Edison replied, "My success is that I found that one or two hundred materials are not suitable for filament!" " "Say that finish, he burst out laughing. His humorous answer solved his dilemma, and the other party could no longer say anything provocative.

Hein Lyman, a famous French speaker, said: It is more acceptable to tell serious facts in a humorous way than to say them directly. The traffic safety slogan in Johor, Malaysia, promotes the truth of safe driving in friendly and humorous language. For example, traffic safety week posted such a slogan: "Sir, you can enjoy the beautiful scenery of this city by driving a car with a speed of less than 30 kilometers per hour; More than 60 kilometers, please visit the court; More than 80 kilometers, welcome to the best equipped emergency hospital in this city; On 100 km, I wish you rest in peace! "

Humorous language will increase the power of criticism and persuasion. Please look at Mr. Lu Xun's criticism of Chuan Dao's indulgence and neglect of his studies: Lu Xun wrote on the title page of "A Brief History of Chinese Novels" given to Chuan Dao:

please

From "Lovers' Hugs"

Hold out a hand for a moment.

Received this dry and tasteless

A brief history of China's novels.

For the enemy, humorous and bitter satire is a powerful blow. Wu Qingzhao, who presided over China West Daily in the United States, talked about Yuan Shikai in a speech. He said: "Yuan Shikai only did one thing in his life that was of great benefit to China." The audience was startled and anxious to know what it was. He didn't answer this matter of great benefit to China "means that he is dead-absolutely dead, very timely. Very suitable for death. " This witticism made everyone present laugh. During World War II, Hitler visited a mental hospital. Most patients here hold different opinions. Hitler asked them if they knew who he was and the patient shook his head. So Hitler roared loudly: "I am Hitler, your leader." My strength can be compared with God! "The patients ignored him and smiled contemptuously. A patient patted Hitler on the shoulder and said, "Yes, yes, we started to get sick just like you." This sentence effectively attacked Hitler's neurotic arrogance.

Humor is generally divided into facial humor, action humor and language humor. The most common verbal humor in daily life exists not only in conversation but also in books. Humor of expression and action is also used by some people when they speak, but it is more used in cross talk performances on stage (such as cross talk performances, burlesque, pantomime, acrobatic clowns, etc.). ). How to make the conversation humorous? From the perspective of language use, there are the following aspects:

1. Pun intended, kill two birds with one stone. In a specific language environment, using the conditions of polysemy, homonymy and homomorphism of words, one word is used to associate two different things, so that the sentence has double meanings. For example, in Third Sister Liu, it is written that Third Sister Liu and three scholars sang a song. Third Sister Liu sang, "Tao doesn't see peaches, Li doesn't see flowers, and Luo doesn't see gongs and drums. Three fools came to the venue. " This is a homophonic pun. It refers to Tao, Li, Li and Luo, and it means "the sound of gongs and drums". The theories of "peach fruit", "Li Huakai" and "gongs and drums ringing" are not valid, which shows that Tao, Li and Luo are no match for Seg. This is the irony of puns.

2. Use contrast clouds to reveal the inconsistency of things and produce humorous effects. A said to B, "C has nothing but virtue and talent." In fact, it means that C has no virtue or talent.

3. Speak with irony and express your original intention with words contrary to your original intention. Is Comrade Mao Zedong "friendship" or "aggression"? The article refutes Acheson of the United States: U.S. imperialism helped Chiang Kai-shek "kill millions of China people, not for anything else, first, to open the door, second, to respect China's administrative and territorial integrity, and third, to oppose any foreign control over China." This is irony. Its original intention is to say that American imperialism wants to invade China, carve up China and control China.

In short, gilding the lily can also make people laugh. Some people are very witty. When asked how much money he earns every month, he replied, "850 in all." Originally, his basic salary was 85 yuan, so he deliberately changed yuan into jiao, increasing the absolute number.

5. Two-part allegorical saying is well used and humorous. For example, people often say, "This man is really a monk with an umbrella-lawless." "The sun shines on rainy days-false sunny and false righteousness." "Can't" in these two sentences is the homonym of "no hair" and "false eyes" is the homonym of "false feelings". Two-part allegorical sayings generally only need to say the metaphor in the first half, and hide the explanation in the second half for the other person to experience.

6. Illustrate the essence of things with vivid metaphors to make the language humorous and vivid. Someone asked a buyer: How is the purchasing work? He replied: "Going out is a rabbit, working is a grandson, and coming back is a camel." "Rabbit" means that the door runs very fast in order to catch the bus and catch the boat; "Grandson" means that in order to buy the needed goods, he does not hesitate to treat guests and give gifts and bow his head to plead; "Camel" means that when you come back, you should not only have a good inspection, but also buy things for your wife and children. The load is heavy. He used an image metaphor to illustrate that purchasing is a hard job.

7. It is also a humorous way to turn the language upside down. For example: "You are lucky to have a filial son; What about me? I have to be filial to my son. " This semantic inversion has produced a strong humorous effect.

8. Grasp the contradiction of the other party's speech and highlight its absurdity. The story of Han Feizi; There is a man who sells spears and shields. He raised his shield and sold it to people, saying: My shield is the strongest, and no sharp spear can pierce it. He raised his spear and sold it to others, saying that my spear is the sharpest and even a strong shield can be pierced. The person next to him immediately asked him, "So, what will happen if you poke your shield with your spear?" He was embarrassed to answer because his words were contradictory and could not be justified.

9. Using the method of logical reasoning, assume that the other party's point of view is correct and infer absurd conclusions. There is a folk story of "clever daughter-in-law" in Hunan: clever aunt is very smart and capable. Her father-in-law, Zhang Laohan, was very happy to have such a daughter-in-law, so he drew several big characters on the gate: "Everything is Dont Ask For Help". The magistrate saw that Zhang Laohan didn't take him seriously, so he sent someone to arrest him and let Zhang Laohan do three things in three days. One of them is the discovery of a calf born by a big bull. Three days later, the magistrate came and invited Zhang Laohan to visit. The ancient bridge came forward and said, "My Lord, my father-in-law is not at home." The county magistrate shouted, "He dares to escape." The ancient bridge said, "He didn't run away, but gave birth." The magistrate was surprised and said, "Only women have children in the world. How can a man have children? " Guqiao immediately retorted: "Since men can't have children, why should the king of cattle have calves?" The county magistrate was speechless for a moment and had to say, "I don't want him to do this." The other two things that the county magistrate asked Zhang Gonggong to do were also rejected by Guqiao. Guqiao reasoned that if a bull can give birth to a calf, then a man can also give birth to a child (so she said her father-in-law gave birth to a child). The magistrate denied that men can have children, so Guqiao came to a conclusion according to the magistrate's denial: Since men can't have children, how can bulls have calves? The rebuttal of the ancient bridge is humorous, spicy and powerful.

Sometimes you can quote the other person's absurd words in return: a teacher said to a noisy female student, "Two women are equal to 1000 ducks." It is absurd to compare a woman to a duck. When the girl saw Jenny coming, she reported to the teacher, "Teacher, there are 500 ducks looking for you." Embarrassed her teacher.

10. It's implicit, but it's implied. A young man sent a manuscript to the editorial department of a magazine. After reading it, the editor asked him, "Did you write this novel yourself?" The young man replied, "I wrote it myself. I thought about it for a month and sat for two days before writing. Writing is really hard! " "The editor pretended to be surprised and said," Ah, great Chekhov, when did you come back to life? "The young man's novel was copied. When he heard the editor's words, he immediately left the editorial department with shame and guilt.

1 1. Language exaggeration is also a common humorous skill. Crosstalk actor Ma Ji came to Liuzhou, Guangxi, and asked Zhuang poet Huang Yongsha: Is there cross talk material in folk songs? Huang Yongsha told him a story: once upon a time, there was a very coquettish rich man who made up a fake folk song to flirt with a pure village girl:

Never grow old,

In the middle of this year, 93,

Yan gave me a hundred years old,

I still have seven years to play with my sister.

Village girl immediately replied with a song:

Always trembling,

The eight stores in seven old are called Meilian,

Beard was born on the horse's ass,

Leave it to the younger generation to match the bridge.

The folk songs of village girls use exaggerated rhetoric. Ma Ji praised: "Funny, humorous and ironic."

12. If the same language is used in different language environments or people of different times, it will achieve humorous effect. For example, some drama sketches are written about ancient people saying modern people, and the audience can't help laughing. You wrote that young couples now go to "karaoke" to play, and everyone doesn't find it funny; If you make a new series of The West Chamber, write to Zhang Sheng and say to Cui Yingying, "Miss, shall we go to karaoke tonight?" The audience could not help laughing. Because there is a great contrast between the present language and the ancient language environment, it is ridiculous to tie the two together.

13. Proper use of jargon will make a conversation or article lively and humorous. Qin Mu, a famous essayist in China, once lamented in front of his achievements and honors: "There are many people and things in the world, and I am lucky to get five points." "Rounding" is a mathematical term. Used in this sentence, it implicitly expresses Qin Mu's modesty and appears humorous and generous. Another example is that before Sino-Soviet relations were restored, Gorbachev said that normal good-neighborly and friendly relations with China would be restored, and Comrade Deng Xiaoping proposed that it could only be realized under three preconditions. Foreign media commented that "Gorbachev released the test balloon" and "Beijing kicked the ball to Moscow". Terms such as "balloon" and "kicking the ball" are used here to make serious political and diplomatic issues easy and humorous.

14. Stealing concepts and making use of mistakes that violate the law of identity also make the conversation humorous. Mr. Lu Xun wrote in an essay:

A: B, we think you are a reliable person, so we didn't hide a few things about the revolution from you. How can you tell the enemy?

How dare you! What a snitch! I say this because they asked me.

Can't you say you don't know?

B: What words! I've never lied in my life. I'm not such an unreliable person!

In this conversation, B stole the concept of "reliable person" and changed it to "never lie", including telling the truth to the enemy. Lu Xun wrote B to steal the concept and defend himself, just to satirize and expose the ugly face of traitors.

There are many humorous techniques, so I won't list them here.

Humor should be measured. Note: Don't mock others, and don't mock others' actions and words. Don't nag and chatter, and the humorous language should be very concise. Don't just be funny, witty and endlessly humorous. Blindly playing will make you a clown and damage your image. Endless humor will lose its charm.

In daily life, there are many occasions to tell humorous jokes, such as enjoying the cool in midsummer, waiting by boat, walking under the moon, taking a nap after work, chatting before and after drinking and so on. However, in some occasions, such as serious occasions, solemn meetings, or funerals, it is inappropriate to tell humorous jokes. At the wedding reception, you can tell some humorous and enlightening anecdotes about the bride and groom's love, but don't take sensitive issues such as the bride and groom's appearance, age or privacy as jokes, which is unpleasant. Therefore, humor depends on the occasion. Humor also needs to grasp the opportunity.

Once you find that your humor can make everyone happy or bring others into a happy atmosphere, you will not hesitate to show it. Once you find that the surrounding atmosphere is not suitable for humor, you should stop. Humor should also pay attention to the object, and distinguish between different genders, identities, positions, experiences, cultural attainments and personalities. Not everyone can tell humorous jokes.

Generally speaking, among acquaintances, fellow villagers, classmates, relatives, old colleagues and old subordinates, you can joke and say some humorous words, even if the joke is overdone, it doesn't hurt. But if you are a superior, a celebrity, an elder, a stranger, a woman, especially a young girl, a depressed or withdrawn person, or a person who is dissatisfied with his work or career, it is generally not appropriate to make jokes casually. You should have a correct attitude when you say humor. Pretending, revealing people's privacy, hiding the knife in the smile, pointing fingers at mulberry, being far-fetched, vague, vulgar, glib, and laughing at the beginning are all taboos for telling humorous jokes.

—— Quoted from the Marketing Encyclopedia of Yanbian People's Publishing House.