My girlfriend is from Dingxi and my hometown is in Tianjin. She works here and is expected to get married next year. I'm going to their home this Spring Festival. discuss

Marriage form: Dingxi folk marriage has been deeply influenced by traditional feudal ethics since ancient times, and it is generally arranged marriage. Men can take concubines, but women can't remarry. There used to be many forms of marriage (now basically extinct), mainly including:

Child marriage: that is, "child bride", or "kannika nimtragol", mostly because the family is poor and unable to support them, they betrothed their underage daughters to others, most of whom are underage. When the woman goes to the man's house, her status is low. Basically, "the rooster gets up at the first crow and sweeps the yard and carries water all day", and her status will change when she is officially married as an adult.

Marriage of a little son-in-law: When a man is well-off and short of labor, the client marries a girl of about 16 or 17 from a poor family to his little son, which is called a little son-in-law. Most of these marriages lead to tragedy.

Finger-belly marriage: most of them are friendly to each other and the wife is pregnant at the same time. If they meet and give birth to a man and a woman, they will become husband and wife when they grow up.

Cousin marriage: in order to continue the blood relationship, aunts, cousins or brothers and sisters are arranged by their parents. Although there is this custom among the people, it is often denied, because the marriage of close relatives is not conducive to future generations.

Exchange marriage: also known as exchange marriage. Because the two in-laws are poor or one of them has some kind of physical defect, the two sides agreed to betroth their daughters to each other, which is called "changing heads" This custom continues to this day.

Going out to get married: commonly known as "knocking in the door", "getting married", "recruiting a son-in-law" or "recruiting a family". In the old society, the son-in-law who came to the door was often despised. Nowadays, son-in-law is regarded as an honor and protected by law. Traditionally, children are born with their mother's surname and are "top-ranked households". Some children take their father's surname, while others take their mother's or father's surname.

Transfer marriage: after marriage, one of the men and women dies and the brother or sister of the deceased continues their marriage, which is called transfer marriage. This layman is not surprised, and even full of praise.

Rush marriage: also called panic marriage. After the engagement, the man's parents or I indulge in it, and then get married early to "celebrate happiness" and wait for his health.

Recruit a husband and raise a husband: after marriage, the husband is seriously ill or disabled or paralyzed, and both husband and wife agree to let the wife recruit a husband again to make a living. This custom is now extinct.

Wangmen Marriage: Before marriage, the fiance died young. According to the feudal ethics, the woman was faithful all her life, so she married with a chicken in her arms. This is called royal marriage. This custom has long been unpopular, and it has disappeared today.

Ghost marriage: also called "shadow marriage". After the engagement, both men and women died before marriage, and the two families agreed to be buried together as "underworld" couples.

Marriage: In the old society, men and women must follow the "Six Rites" rule. After the Revolution of 1911, although its etiquette changed, it still followed the feudal etiquette system. After the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), a new marriage system was established, but it will take time to completely abolish the old etiquette. Dingxi people are used to the routine wedding procedures, which are basically the same, although there will be differences due to different regions.

Marriage age: In the old society, the marriage age of Han nationality was generally young, with males 15-20 years old and females 15- 18 years old. It is not uncommon for wealthy families to get married early, and it is not uncommon to get married at the age of 12 or 13. After the implementation of the Marriage Law, the legal age is 20 for males and 0/8 for females. 198 1 was changed to 22 years old for men and 20 years old for women, and the custom of late marriage was abolished. In the old society, the rich had as many as two or three concubines, while the poor were "single" for life. It's all extinct now.

Seeking relatives: it is to discuss marriage. In the old society, the marriage between men and women was decided by "parents' orders and matchmakers' words". First, relatives and friends set up, and parents choose women at home. After the selection is accurate, it is convenient for men to find a matchmaker to prepare gifts to the woman's house to ask for relatives and enter the blind date stage. If the woman has never met, men and women meet, or the matchmaker takes the man to the woman's house to meet her, it is called "accepting talents" The woman agreed, and the man asked the matchmaker to ask the woman's birthday. This is called "asking the name". The birthdays of both men and women are written on red paper as "Geng Tie" (in some places, it is very simple, just oral expression), which is calculated by Mr. Yin Yang according to the principle of "five lines of gossip, mutual prosperity and mutual prosperity" and is called "marriage" (also called "filial piety"). If the marriage ends smoothly, the man will inform the woman and call it "Naji". If not, the original gift will be returned. Then, the man chooses an auspicious day and asks the matchmaker to formally inform the woman of the engagement time and prepare for the wedding. During this period, if there are accidents at home, such as breaking plates, bowls, pots and cups, the death of livestock or illness of family members, it is considered unlucky and there is no chance of getting married. The matchmaker will notify the other party to cancel the engagement.

Engagement: commonly known as "climbing relatives" and "drinking". On the day of engagement, the man's father, his son and the matchmaker take wine (2 bottles tied with red rope), betrothal money, clothes, jewelry, four-color gifts (cakes, sugar, tea) and other bride price (some places put them in boxes, peaches or bags) to the woman's house for engagement, which is called "Zheng Na". The woman's family prepares a banquet to entertain guests and asks for a bride price, commonly known as "asking for a bride price." Both men and women negotiate with the matchmaker and finally decide on the bride price. Then both men and women toast their elders and relatives at the banquet and change their names. Elders, relatives and friends will give both men and women "red envelopes", and the amount of money depends on the economic situation. After that, eat, drink, and have fun, and return home. When the man leaves, he will bring back two empty wine bottles (there is a little wine left in them), and the woman will put some rice noodles into the wine bottles to show "rice noodle lovers". This is called "engagement" and engagement. At this point, the marriage relationship was formally established.

After the engagement, every holiday (Spring Festival, Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival), the man should prepare gifts to the woman's house to "send the festival" to show that the marriage takes effect, commonly known as "chasing the festival".

Marriage: commonly known as "wedding ceremony", also known as "introducing a new wife". After the man asks the Yin and Yang teacher to confirm the wedding date, the matchmaker informs the woman's family. It's called an invitation. On the wedding day, both men and women will hold a wedding banquet to entertain relatives and friends, and the pattern of meals depends on the actual economic situation of the host. Friends and neighbors go to help, commonly known as "doing it for them." Near the wedding day, the man and the matchmaker go to the woman's house to send a bride price, commonly known as "returning a gift" and "giving a gift", also known as "clearing a gift". In some places, a man sent pants and cloth together, called divorced pants. In the home of the rich, this kind of hired courtesy officer is more complicated, and generally a gift list will be prepared. The man's house regularly goes to the woman's house with a bride price, 10 big steamed stuffed bun, two pieces of fresh meat and 12 candy, which are called "boxes". There is a square table in the courtyard of the girl's house, and there are incense table gifts on the table. Daughter-in-law, son and nephew worship heaven and earth. After the ceremony, the man gave the incense burner "Qian Qingmei", presented a gift list, opened a box of "bright gifts" and invited relatives and friends to visit; Then, the woman presented a jiaozi bowl to the male guest, calling it "tasting soup", and the female guest gave a banquet. This ancient gift is extinct today. Finalize the wedding date.

Sending a girl to get married is called "letting her go" and "sending her away". The day before the wedding, the man went to the woman's house to "sit down" (also called "talk") to further confirm the number of people seeing off their relatives and related matters. On this day, the bride's family entertained her neighbors who came to give gifts. A gift from a neighbor is called "adding a box". In the past, the bride was accompanied by a pair of crates or a square cabinet. After entering the 1980s, it was accompanied by wardrobes, writing desks, speakers, televisions, washing machines, refrigerators and so on. Modern furniture is uncertain. On this day, it is necessary to determine the personnel of the farewell party and choose the bride whose children are in line with their genus as the "bridesmaid", that is, the "female bride". The man chooses a man and a woman (not allowed to remarry) as the "bridesmaid", and another boy as the bride to lead the donkey. Accompanied by the matchmaker, the groom, his uncle and brother each have 1 person, and those who carry boxes have 1 person, forming a wedding escort team. (If the number of people is odd, take five or seven people. Basically, it's two bottles of wine, two pieces of meat, sweets and snacks, 10 big steamed stuffed bun, and a few red envelopes and pocket money (commonly known as "joke money") for "needle wages" (some places call them "thank you", "mother money" and "bride price money"), so I go to the woman's house to say hello to my relatives. In some places, the bride's family closed the door, asked the bride for red envelopes to benefit the market, splashed water on utensils and made fun of them. In the past, men and women used to prepare sedan chairs or cars or donkeys and horses according to road conditions (mules were not allowed). Nowadays, cars are used more in cities and towns, and tricycles are used more in rural areas. Due to different economic conditions, the gap is getting bigger and bigger. The higher the ostentation and extravagance, the more vehicles there are, and the wind of comparison is Sheng Xing.

When the wedding team arrived at the woman's home, they first burned incense to worship their ancestors, then put the gift Chen Fang on the console table, toasted the woman's elders to "look after the children" and rewarded her with "thank you" money. Then the wedding guests gave a banquet and the banquet was ready to leave. In the past, women tied the bride's hair in a bun. The bride wore a corset and covered her head, with a "protective mirror" on her chest and a book (Geng Tie) in her hand. This custom has now been abolished. The woman chooses relatives to put the dowry in a box, commonly known as "packing" and "putting the dowry", which means praising the dowry.

Traditionally, when the bride leaves home, the eldest brother in the family carries the sedan chair (horse or donkey), and the bride cries, which is called "crying marriage" (also called "exorcism"). Say that I can't bear to leave my parents; When the bride goes out, she throws a pair of red chopsticks in the gate (in some places, two red chopsticks are thrown inside and outside the door respectively), and the two families greet their relatives * * * to board Pride, get on the bus and set off on horseback. On the road, when sedan chairs (horses and donkeys) pass by forks in the road, temples, big stones and big buildings, in the old society, people would put a small piece of red paper or "road sticker" on it, which read "Have a safe trip" and "Ghosts and evil spirits should avoid it" for good luck. There are many vehicles in use now, which are relatively rare.

When the sedan chair arrives at the man's house, you have to get off the bus in the west and deep direction that day, and then firecrackers will sound around the sedan chair. When the bride gets off the horse (bridge, car), in some places, she should first pick up a "treasure bottle" full of rice, put in red chopsticks, wrap it in red cloth, and cook porridge after marriage, which means "peace" to the couple. Chopsticks take "quick life". This custom has been abolished. Asking for a red envelope to see the child off is called "pressing sedan chair money" After the bride dismounted, the bridesmaid helped her to walk slowly on the red carpet (red cloth can also be used instead) on the ground floor. In the old days, guests were invited to "welcome the red" and the red carpet was strung in front of the incense table set up in the hospital. There are incense wax and liters (also called buckets) filled with wheat on the incense table, and a holy card and a pestle are inserted. Mirrors, rulers, scissors and red cloth strips are hung on the balance to ward off evil spirits. Copper coins at both ends of the red line were placed in two wine glasses, and a ceremony was held to pay homage to heaven and earth. Then, the bride and groom stepped on the red carpet and entered the bridal chamber with buckets (commonly known as "full buckets"), and put the buckets on the kang in XiShen. The bride sits opposite her goggles in the bucket, and the groom takes off the bride's "hijab" with the weight (or rolling pin). Has been abolished. At this time, the man's family gave a banquet to entertain the woman's family (distinguished guests) and offered cigarettes. Wedding teams often play festive music with suona, and the banquet is very lively. The farewell party must leave the man's house before noon. In some places, the man wants to redeem the key on the dowry box (cabinet) from the woman. Before leaving, the man stopped the wine table in front of the gate, put the wine and steamed buns on it, and poured the wine in a big cup. Men always guess the toast, and the loser drinks it, so that each guest can take a few steamed buns. Go to the new house to see the bride and say goodbye before going out. All the people who came to congratulate were together all day, and the bride and groom toasted one after another during the dinner. Young people make trouble in the bridal chamber, commonly known as "house" and "new house", giving newlyweds problems to play with, push, pull, hug, touch and renovate. The bride tried her best to avoid and deal with them until late at night. Then, the new house needs a warm bed, which is called "consummation". The host swept walnuts and jujubes by the bed and sprinkled them on the kang, which meant "harmony" and "early birth of your son", and recited "walnuts and jujubes are available, and the dolls are raised all over the yard". Then the newlyweds go to bed, and the "ever-burning lamp" in the new house is on all night. It's a good thing for young people to lie prone outside the window and eavesdrop on the newlyweds' movements, which is commonly known as "listening at the root of the wall". On the same day or the next day, some brides will cook "handmade noodles" (Daoxiao Noodles) to entertain relatives and friends. The next day, the groom's family must prepare another banquet to entertain relatives and friends who helped during the wedding, which is called "pulling the back seat" or "thanking guests".

First marriage: In the morning after marriage, the newlyweds get up early to worship their ancestors and meet their parents and relatives. This is an occasion for the bride and her family to meet formally. Also the next day, the female relatives brought rice to the male family to congratulate them, and the male family also invited relatives to accompany them, recognize relatives and determine the relationship between generations, commonly known as "seeing relatives." This custom is rare now. On the third day, the young couple prepared gifts and went back to their parents' home to visit their parents-in-law and uncle. They returned the same day, commonly known as "going home". This is the first time to visit my mother after marriage, and my daughter-in-law has been waiting for her husband for several weeks. Newlyweds will come back early after entertainment. Ten days after marriage, the bride goes back to her mother's house for a short stay, commonly known as "transferring to her mother's house", and stays at her husband's house for eight or nine days, but sometimes she stays for ten days. In some places, after a month of marriage, the bride goes to her parents' home, commonly known as "standing on the moon" and "turning to the moon", but usually comes back a few days in advance to show respect for her husband's parents' elders.

Today, many of the above marriage customs have been revised. Although they continued in the countryside, they abandoned the traditional old customs or simplified accommodation. There are new things to do for urban men and women to get married, change the customs, or get married in groups, or bring huge bride price, high-grade furniture, fashionable dowry, grand wedding, exquisite banquet, and a good girl to get married. The so-called new "Six Rites" trend has been popular in Sheng Xing in recent years, but it has not been widely welcomed.

On the second day of the first month after marriage, the newlyweds pay New Year greetings to the woman's house, which is called "kowtowing" or "New Year greetings", and their parents-in-law give them "lucky money". In some places, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law avoid each other and are not allowed to meet on the fifteenth day of the first month, which is called "avoiding lights". Otherwise, superstition thinks that mother-in-law will be blind.

Remarriage: in the old society, men were superior to women, and men were widowed and could continue; A woman who dies without remarrying is called "chastity". Therefore, many young women become lifelong widows after losing their spouses. Others have husbands who have died and remarried, and their in-laws are often very demanding, commonly known as "selling widows." Some were hijacked in the middle of the night, called "robbing widows". After the founding of the People's Republic of China, men and women were equal. Now many people don't abide by this rule, and remarriage is protected by law. It is more common now, especially for the elderly. Men and women find suitable people to form families, and "sunset red" becomes fashionable.

funeral

Form of Han nationality: it is not only the bounden responsibility of the son of man to care for the elderly and pursue the future cautiously, but also a family event. Funeral, also known as "white matter" funeral, has been buried with wooden coffins in Dingxi. Since the 1970s, all state officials have been cremated. Its customs and funeral ceremonies generally vary according to the family situation and the age and identity of the deceased.

In the old society, a baby born less than a month died and was smashed into a kang hole and burned. When the baby died within 2 years old, the neighbors rolled up the body with firewood, put it in a rotten bucket on the back, set it on fire in a wild ditch and abandoned it. /kloc-people over the age of 0/2 do not choose auspicious places after death, but only cover themselves in remote fields. /kloc-Unmarried people over 0/2 years old can make simple wooden boxes and bury their bodies in fields or barren hills. Married men and women who have children die naturally and can be buried in ancestral graves in the master bedroom and the inner bedroom. Other abnormal deaths, such as jumping off a cliff, throwing into a river, falling into a well, taking poison, hanging, dystocia, suicide, homicide, car accident, etc. Can only be buried in a private room in the house to handle the funeral; Those who die outside the house will only hold funerals outside the house, in the kiln or in the tent, and are not allowed to enter the ancestral home. Although he died a natural death, those who died outside the house did not enter the main (inner) bedroom of the house for a funeral. Therefore, critically ill people should try to go home and sleep as well as possible.

After the death of the old man, Dingxi's funeral customs and etiquette, influenced by traditional culture, feudal ethics and court etiquette, were grand, complicated and solemn, forming a funeral culture with unique local characteristics.

The weather in Dingxi won't be too cold: but it's not very cold so far this winter, and it will definitely be cold in the New Year. The lowest in Dingxi is -8 degrees.

The pressure of marriage is very different from that of Tianjin. First of all, Dingxi wedding is at noon and Tianjin is in the afternoon. Generally, a gift (30,000 yuan) should be given to the woman. Other customs are basically the same.