What are the procedures and customs for parents to meet and get engaged in Northeast China?

The processes and customs of parent-teacher conferences and engagements in Northeast China are as follows:

1. propose

A man gets married, a woman gets married, and her son is old (not yet an adult in the old society), and his parents say he is a daughter-in-law. Both men and women choose marriage on the basis of suitability, diligence, frugality and decency. After Anonymous was selected, she found someone who could talk to her family to propose marriage. Family members often secretly observe and inquire about her on the grounds of "waiting for a reply" according to her personality, appearance and family situation. During the 1950s and the Cultural Revolution, both men and women attached great importance to family background, and poor peasants were the best choice. It is desirable for people with skills to earn money. According to the date of birth, the two sides invited "Mr." to "get married" to see if the animals were harmonious. There are some sayings, such as "once a white horse committed a green ox, a sheep divorced a mouse, a golden rooster committed a dog, a sheep and a tiger failed to get to the end, a dog and a monkey got married, a tiger and a snake became enemies, and a dragon and a rabbit exchanged tears", "a snake dish rabbit", "a monkey rode a sheep" and "tiger and dog gold". After the founding of the People's Republic of China, the majority of young people scoffed and married.

Thank your relatives.

Engaged. The two sides agreed to choose two days to hold a thank-you ceremony. On that day, the woman's relatives and friends gathered at her home. The matchmaker led the man and his entourage to the woman's house with some colorful clothes, money and red ropes. So Xie Qin is also called "even the red rope". Later, the woman's elders accompanied her to the table. At the same time, the woman cooked noodles and sent them to her neighbors in bowls until she knew her daughter was engaged. There is a place in the county where "thanking relatives" is called "settling things". The procedure is quite simple. The man's matchmaker accompanied him to send the bride price and money to the woman, indicating that the matter has been settled.

3. Bride price

After the engagement, the woman asks for the bride price through the matchmaker and refers to other families. If you want money and things, write a gift list on red paper, which generally includes furniture, cash, clothes, miscellaneous colors (that is, cloth and cotton), grain and oil, jewelry (not needed now) and so on. In the 1950s, marriage did not require a bride price, just two sets of clothes, a headscarf and two pairs of socks. In the 1970s, sewing machines and bicycles were added. In the 1980s, color TV sets and tape recorders were added. In the 1990s, refrigerators were added to those with good conditions, and gifts were made in duplicate, one for men and one for women. And agreed to give the woman money according to the content. Some "all-in-one" packages are discounted according to the gift list and paid to the woman herself. In the old society, when preparing the bride price, the man picked up a "vegetable pile" (a wooden container similar to a round cage) and gave it to the woman. Give it directly to the woman's house today. In addition, every Spring Festival, local temple fairs and spring and autumn seasons, the man will give the woman money to buy clothes, regardless of the length of time, until marriage, and the amount given will also follow the local "big stream".

Select date

That is, when we decide to get married, please ask the fortune teller to choose "Ji Yue" and "auspicious day" according to the date of birth. Any day in the twelfth lunar month is an auspicious day, which is called "rushing chaos". In the old "black year" (that is, spring is not seen at both ends of the year), there is also a saying that "no proposal will be made in the first month". In addition, both men and women created an auspicious day for sewing clothes and quilts, and invited four women with different surnames to help, avoiding widows and pregnant women. A man's family should wrap red flowers on his horns, which means "glory and wealth". In addition to sewing clothes and quilts, women have to make a pair of shoes for their husband's family. More than ten days before the wedding, the man sent the fried "dried sesame candy", commonly known as "powder" and "fruit", to the woman, who then sent it to relatives and friends to inform the wedding date and express his invitation, commonly known as "Xiao Hua". The "flower elimination" move was also carried out by the man. Similar classmates and colleagues just pass it on to each other, and then send quilts, washbasins and other things or money as gifts.

Invite in-laws

On the day before the wedding ceremony, the man will invite the woman's grandfather, father or uncle to his house for a banquet. On that day, the man also sent someone to pick a laundry list and sent all kinds of pasta and meat dishes to the woman's house the next day. In-laws are very popular in the county, but not in some parts of the county.

marry

On that day, red cloth was hung on both sides of the eaves of the gate, and couplets were posted on the door of the male gate. The word "happy" is posted on the "wall" in the hospital, and the tree is wrapped in red paper. In some places, the water outlets and sewers on houses are covered with red paper to avoid bad luck. Stick red paper strips on both sides of the cave entrance, tie wheat straw and two black charcoal sticks to prevent evil spirits from getting in. In the morning, a dozen relatives of the woman's family sent the dowry to the man's house. When people are not free, put their belongings in the locker and leave for dinner. The man set off for the wedding. In the old days, officials played the role of "deacons" to clear the way, there were two sides of the dragon and phoenix generous table, and there were two sides of the "avoidance" and "silence" cards, which non-official people could borrow. Behind the wind-blowing team are two eight-carried sedan chairs, a man with a red left shoulder and a flower arrangement on his hat, which is a metaphor for "marrying a daughter-in-law to go to school". After the founding of the People's Republic of China, the sedan chair was abandoned and the marriage was simple. During the "Cultural Revolution", it was emphasized that heavy make-up was not allowed, and people should walk home on the wedding day, and they were not allowed to see off guests and play, so they should be frugal. It is more wasteful to take a limousine now.

7. Send your daughter away

The next morning, my aunt or sister-in-law "put on her face", that is, pulled the hair off her face, with two red lines on it, indicating that she is no longer a girl. After dinner, the bride worships heaven and earth, her in-laws and her relatives and elders. All worshippers give money to kowtow, and there is a saying that "not kowtowing is short". Barry, accompanied by the groom, returned to her family. When a son-in-law meets his in-laws, he recognizes his relatives. Aunt, sister-in-law, elder sister and younger sister play with the groom by pushing and pulling, smearing pot ashes on their faces, buying candy money, etc., commonly known as "playing the son-in-law". Afternoon, grandma, mom, etc. Send their daughter to the man's house and the banquet will be back soon. The next day, for the sake of the amorous feelings of the county, I sent my daughter back to her family, not elsewhere. On the third morning, the bride's brother (uncle in some places) went to the man's house. After a good meal, he told the girl to go back to her family, commonly known as "dog days". This woman is forbidden to bring back the clothes she wore when she got married. On the same day, the caller sent it back to her husband's house. On the ninth day, another person called and stayed for eight days before coming back, which is commonly known as "playing for nine days". There is a saying that "staying for nine is eight, and the two families are together". 1980, the procedure was simplified, and the clothes, wedding ceremony and daughter delivery were combined in one day. With the promotion of new things and new offices, some young people abandon old customs and go out immediately after marriage, or choose national day, May Day and other anniversaries to invite friends to eat wedding candy, that is, to announce their marriage.

8. Engagement money

A. I heard a long time ago that the engagement money is 6666,8888, 1000 1, which means one in a million, generally including three gold (old custom). Fan Jili's figures are acceptable.

B. Near the wedding day, the man packages a series of bride price (negotiated amount by himself) into one bride price.

C Both men and women have small change (ranging from 1 to 10000).

As for the house, decoration, home appliances, only the two sides can discuss, happiness is the most important thing.

M: Be sure to ask what kind of money you gave, how many times you gave it, and what it included.