My engagement

I never thought getting engaged would be a big deal for me. It's not painful to hear the news of others' engagement before. After all, it is none of my business. Over time, the concept of engagement is a ceremony for me, a buffer for getting married properly and being accepted by relatives and friends.

( 1)

According to the established folk customs, the marriage process and the corresponding folk procedures of the young couple are basically like this: both men and women determine their love relationship by themselves or through the introduction of a matchmaker, and their feelings accumulate to a certain extent, and then they go to each other's home to get their parents' consent. After the men and women in Longxi love go home, the plasma surface plays a subtle role. In my opinion, this plasma is for future son-in-law or daughter-in-law.

The young couple can get engaged after they get to know each other in love, which indicates that both men and women have been officially recognized by their parents and the wedding date has been set. After the engagement, you can get a marriage certificate, then clean up the new house, buy bride price and dowry, and wait for the wedding gift!

When the engagement came to me, it basically became a form, a form, not to say that it was unnecessary, but because of the procedure just mentioned, my son could not recognize it. We/kloc-established a love relationship in August 0/0,/kloc-bought a house in August 0/4,/kloc-got the certificate in June 0/5, and/kloc-got engaged in June 0/6. Moreover, before the engagement, both parents had never met, and the information between them was transmitted through us, but neither family felt anything wrong because of six years.

(2)

16 1 month, I specially asked for leave to deal with wedding photos and engagement. On my first night back from vacation, my father and I agreed on the details of our engagement. Only then did I realize that engagement is exquisite and meaningful.

My mother is cheerful and happy. She said with a smile: Engagement means that parents sit together for dinner, announce that the two babies are basically together, and then end the bride price and set a wedding date. After she finished, my dad gave her a dirty look, because in his view, engagement is a big event, not just to inform the people, but also I realized the significance of having an identity in later ceremonies.

Longxi's rules of engagement are as follows:

Bridal gift. In the era of sky-high bride price, this word scares many couples, but my bride price is a constant there. In Longxi, because life was not rich in the past, I left a little stress on the imperfection of ten rites and nine ceremonies. Personally, the bride price of 40,000 yuan will be refunded by my parents 1000 to 3,000 yuan. Of course, the conditions are much better now, and this "retreat" is just a ceremony. After the woman returns a small part of the bride price to the man, the man gives it to their prospective daughter-in-law.

A variety of items, Longxi traditional engagement to prepare things are three gold, two new clothes, new shoes and socks, a sling of pork, as well as the woman's parents to recognize relatives snacks. Of course, the bride price project in the concept of daughter-in-law's home has been greatly simplified, with only "tobacco, alcohol, sugar and tea". Then, in order to take care of their manners, we also prepared cigarettes and wine, so my engagement was a combination of town and town.

The date of engagement can't be set casually. Calculate the auspicious day according to the birthdays of both men and women, and then go to the woman's house to propose marriage and worship the ancestors. There is no limit to the men present, but we should gather enough grandpa, dad and son. In rural areas, a table of incense is usually placed at a woman's house. After the man tidies up all kinds of articles prepared, the elders of the woman's family guide the sacrifice, which means to inform the woman's ancestors that the girl is ready to get married and pray for the ancestors' blessing!

Then the engagement party held by the woman's family opened, and then many matters related to marriage were agreed at the dinner table. At the dinner table, the man has to toast twice. In the first round, the son and father toasted the elders of the woman's family. The second round, which is also a big head, is a toast to all the elders present by the prospective couple. Among them, Longxi people pay attention to the second round of toasting to change their mouths, and the elders give the young couple "head money", which is a bit like giving gifts and changing their mouths.

Before the banquet is over, the woman will symbolically put a little rice and flour in an empty wine bottle tied with a red rope and give it to the man for safekeeping, which means that the two children will marry rice and flour from today!

The rice noodle couple fell in love with it hopelessly when they first heard the word. It is so aptly described that they always feel that no other word can describe their life so vividly and practically! Taking Qi Mei as an example, it seems like a wish to feel at home, or simply a play sung in the Peony Pavilion! Compared with rice noodle couples, it reminds me of fair-weather friends. Compared with the two, what I outline in my mind is that they are made at sunrise and dull and rich at sunset, all of which come from the blessings of our loved ones. Blood is thicker than water!

After the engagement party, the man's family will invite other family members who didn't attend the party to eat noodles at dinner time, usually shy noodles. In Longxi, this is also a promising noodle, because people used to eat it at the age of 30 and eat it after their birthdays, and use it to greet guests! The simple Longxi people have always followed the tradition of their ancestors and announced the upcoming population to the people in this simplest way. Of course, the "first money" of the elders is indispensable, and 5 100 is a blessing!

From engagement to marriage, if there are big festivals, such as Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and New Year's Eve, the man will go to the woman's house to chase the festival, and there is no special requirement for the gifts he brings. The purpose is to renegotiate and finalize the variables and some details before marriage.

(3)

I'm engaged, and there are six people present at home. There are four of us and my grandfather and aunt, just three generations. The daughter-in-law's house is even more magnificent, and all the relatives who can come have come over, and the standard four generations live under one roof.

The atmosphere during the dinner was also very harmonious. According to my father's previous arrangement, my father and wife and I finished two rounds of toasts, and then the elders of both sides told me the matters needing attention in my future life.

My father-in-law's entrustment will never be forgotten. He said it twice, and when he gave me the watch, he said that this watch is a symbol of your future power and status! After the banquet, I sent them back. He said, I'll give you my daughter ... Originally, he wanted to say it, but it was interrupted by his mother-in-law, so it was too early to say such sensational words. But after all this, the meaning of engagement is far beyond my imagination!

Dad is very happy. On the day of engagement, from noon to evening, from dinner to home, he drank nearly two Jin of wine. That kind of joy is self-evident. Even when I was admitted to college, I never saw him so happy. Later, I realized that as a father, nothing is more gratifying than seeing my son settle down!

I suddenly understood my father's mind. Like all the elders in his hometown, he recognized the logic of starting a family first and then starting a business. Even though I worked, I was still a child in his eyes, and I didn't really grow up until my wedding day.

Before, he kept clamoring to follow the example of the west and kick me out of the house to stand on my own feet, but when I went out to study and work, he expected me to go home, and then he complained that I couldn't stay at home for three minutes. He often says, what will happen to my brother if I get married separately? But he often talks about the immortality of Laozi and his little son ... Although I can't understand this heartache as a father for the time being, I still feel that kind of profundity!

In the eyes of others, we have bought a house and got a license, and marriage is a foregone conclusion. Ritual scenes like engagement can be omitted, but I think engagement is not just a procedure, but an explanation for myself and others, and more importantly, it can get the permission and blessing of both families!