Is there any etiquette to be observed in the love between men and women in ancient China culture? I hope people who have a special understanding of ancient culture can tell me in detail.

There were six kinds of wedding ceremonies in ancient China, so they were called "Six Rites". According to Tang Duyou's General Code, "the weekly system is limited to the age of men and women. When engaged, the family welcomes guests. The preparation of six rituals. " It can be seen that the "Six Rites" had been formed in the Zhou Dynasty. After Qin and Han Dynasties, the Six Rites gradually formed customization. The so-called "six gifts" include receiving gifts, asking names, Najib, receiving gifts, inviting parties and welcoming guests.

Nacai: Nacai means to choose, that is, a man chooses his wife. The man wanted to choose a daughter as his wife, so he asked the matchmaker to transport the woman to test the meaning of the daughter's family. If the woman agrees, she can accept the gift from the man. The gifts received vary from person to person and from time to time. "Weekly system, marriage, goose adoption." (Tang` Du You's Tongdian Lidian). It can be seen that the gathering ceremony in the Zhou Dynasty used geese, also called "drinking geese". The reason why geese are used as gifts is because "geese fly in rows, which is an example." Hu Peihui's "Rites and Righteousness" said: "Those who use geese should always take them from the north to the south, without losing the festival, and know when they don't take women." "Fly into a row, stop in a column, and make the wedding ceremony clear. Young and old are orderly and do not cross each other. " The purpose of adopting geese was to make the young and the old in order and not cross in a wedding ceremony in the Ming Dynasty. It is also useful to collect sheep. Sheep, auspicious, take their group instead of the party.

In ancient times, Na had a complicated ceremony. Du You recorded the collection of minerals in the Zhou Dynasty in Tong Dian. The messenger arrived in the dark, and the messenger came out asking for help. Yue: My son has benefits and I have a certain room. Someone has a gift from their ancestors for you to accept. The female father said to the cloud: My son is stupid, but he can teach. My son was ordered to drop out of school. The host is like a guest, welcome guests outside the door and then worship. The guest didn't answer, just bowed. Binsheng Xi Street, Dong 'e East Street. Messenger is fatal: dare to collect. Master, go up the stairs and worship in the north. Give it to Nan Ying. The guest comes out, the host comes down, and the old goose gives it. Hold the goose again. What's your name as the first gift? Yue: Since someone ordered it, it was added to divination. Who dares to ask a woman's last name? Yes: My son has a life, and he chooses life to prepare. Some dare not quit, saying that they are surnames.

When you go out, please ask the guests to say: I have an accident in one room, and some are gifts from my ancestors, please ask the servants. The guest told him that someone had done something before he dared to resign. Nuo said: the gift of ancestors, dare to be solid. Bing said: some words are robbing, dare not disobey orders. After the ceremony, when you go out, the host will send it to the door and say goodbye. "That is to say, the two families should be polite several times.

Ask the name: After the ceremony, the messenger came back to ask the woman's parents about her daughter's name. According to the records of the ceremony, the ceremony was held at the same time. Since it is a gift, the man's family already knows the woman's name. Asking the name at this time is actually asking when, when, when and when the woman was born, which is also called "Naji", and later people are also called "eight characters".

Najib: In ancient China, all major marriage events were divination, which was called "Najib". Besides parents' orders and matchmakers' words, seeking the "light of the gods" by divination was another decisive factor for the success of marriage between men and women in ancient China. In ancient times, when picking, the messenger had to go back and "ask the name" for divination again. Later, it was the man who first wrote his birthday on the "Geng Tie" and asked the matchmaker to send it to the woman's house. The matchmaker then brought the woman's Niangeng eight characters back to the man's house, and both parties asked Mr. Wang to see if the Niangeng eight characters matched. If the eight characters match, you can get engaged preliminarily. In ancient China, the year and time of the year were marked by branches on the trunk. Sixty groups of names composed of heavenly stems and earthly branches refer to a certain day and time in a very orderly way, and are referred to by four groups of branches. * * *, there are eight words, which is the so-called "birthday". The "Geng Tie" written by both men and women in the eight characters has a certain format, which is roughly as follows:

Male XXX was born in a certain year, a certain month, a certain day and a certain time.

Female XXX Kun did XXX year XXX month XXX mentioned XXX times.

The eight characters written in Geng Tie must be even. If it is odd, you must add or subtract an unimportant word to get an even number. After receiving the "eight characters", both men and women should first provide the ancestral tablets. If the house is safe within three days (no quarrel, trouble, fire, broken articles, theft, etc.). ), you can ask Mr. Wang to "approve the eight characters." When approving the eight characters, we should not only look at the eight characters of Niangeng, but also refer to the signs of both sides and the five elements of Yin and Yang. These items are absolutely not contradictory. If there is a contradiction, marriage will have to be abandoned. If the eight characters match perfectly, the marriage is basically settled. Of course, the man will formally send a matchmaker to inform the woman's family again.

Levy: also known as paying money, commonly known as "giving gifts", "giving bride price" and "giving gifts". "Zheng" means "Cheng". That is, after the "gift", the marriage between the two families is established. In a sense, it is similar to today's engagement. The difference is that in ancient times, "gift" was the first condition. Only after this ceremony can a man marry a woman. Conscription is the most important and distinctive link in China's ancient marriage customs, and even the emperor who is "expensive as the son of heaven" cannot avoid it. The existence of the phenomenon of "conscription" is probably the reason why the ancient marriage in China was called buying and selling marriage.

Articles used for conscription vary according to region, time, status and wealth. In ancient times, according to "wedding etiquette", Xuan, Shu and (matching deerskin) were used as gifts. There are collections of gold, silver, jade articles, birds and animals, wine, food, clothing and furniture played by the rich in later generations. When an emperor marries a queen, he must add jade and silk. It is true that ordinary people naturally can't afford to buy a lot of gold and silver as objects, so the Law of the Great Tang Dynasty clearly stipulates that "there is no limit to hiring gold". General ancient folk "gifts" items are: a pair of golden flowers (hairpin), a pair of gold rings (bracelet), a pair of gold rings (one gold and one copper), dolphin meat, wedding banquet, sheep, wedding cakes, HongLing, seven feet of black silk, four pairs of red wax, firecrackers and incense. The man should choose an auspicious day, beat gongs and drums, tie a Geng sticker with HongLing, and send the gift to the woman's house together with the gift list. The matchmaker leads the man's parents and relatives to the woman's house, and the woman's house should entertain guests warmly. After the bride's family accepts the bride price, it is necessary to take out a part of the bride price and add 12 kinds of gift money to return it to the man's family as a gift. No matter how many betrothal gifts there are, there must be auspicious meanings, and they are all even numbers, indicating pairs.

After the recruitment, the two parties will sign an engagement. According to records, the engagement had already existed in the Zhou Dynasty, and it was carved on bamboo slips, with men and women holding half of it. According to the regulations, marriage certificates should be signed and sealed by both parties, relatives and matchmakers, and reported to the government. The format of marriage documents varies from generation to generation, and the basic format is as follows:

Format of offer

Today, a certain surname in a certain county and state has a matchmaker, a guardian, a man as a name and a sister as a name, and a certain amount of bride price has been prepared for him. After the appointment, I chose a date to get married. I hope the couple will grow old together and live in harmony. Today I will use the marriage certificate as a user.

Year, month and day, the wedding host's surname is certain.

The son-in-law's surname is a bet.

Contract marriage certificate protects parents' surnames.

The matchmaker's surname is gambling.

Format of offer

I have a surname of a certain country, and now I hire someone to be a matchmaker. Someone protects my family, takes a certain number of female names as a sister, and marries someone with a certain amount of bride price. Since I was hired, I have chosen the wedding day. I hope that the husband and wife will be conservative and prosperous. Today, the marriage certificate is for users to see.

Year, month and day, the wedding host's surname is certain.

Female surname is a bet.

Contract marriage certificate protects parents' surnames.

The matchmaker's surname is gambling.

After the man received the marriage certificate, he had to report that his ancestors had a family blood relationship before he could dedicate the marriage certificate to the shrine of his ancestors. Once engaged, the man can get married on another day.

Invitation day: commonly known as "choosing a date", it is also called an "important day" by northern folks, that is, the man's family should invite the husband to choose the "auspicious day" for marriage and inform the woman's family. "Elite Wedding": "Please use geese. When the host resigns, Bin Xu will tell the host the date as a gift. After the host's speech, the matchmaker informed the wedding date. " From this point of view, the invitation date of the ancients was not simply informed, but also had a certain ceremony. In fact, after the engagement was signed, the woman's family was already "married the day after employment." The decision to choose the wedding date was given to the male family. The reason why the word "please" is used is to show politeness. The man dare not specialize and ask the woman for permission.

Kissing: This is a formal wedding. Today's so-called wedding ceremony. As the name implies, it is on the agreed date that the groom goes to the woman's house to pick up the bride. In ancient times, men went to a woman's house to visit their wives, all at night. "Yili? The scholar said with a faint ceremony, "The faint ceremony is issued. Zheng Xuan said: "The ceremony of a gentleman marrying a wife lasted for a period of time, so it was famous." . Yang goes to Yin, and you fall into three businesses a day. "Moreover," the master is a knight, a petticoat, a son, and his entourage is Bi. He rides in an ink cart, takes the second ride from the car, and holds a candle in front of the horse. "That is to say, everyone who gets married wears black, and horses and chariots also use black. This custom is very different from the wedding custom of marrying the bride and wearing red clothes during the day in later generations. Since the Tang dynasty, the time for welcoming relatives has been changed to morning. According to Tang? Paragraph "Youyang Miscellaneous Notes" records: "Courtesy, marriage will be faint, with its yang as yin. Today, I salute Xiao Yu. "It can be seen that at least before the Han Dynasty, ancient people's weddings were held at night, and everything was accompanied by wearing black clothes, taking a black car (ink car) and holding candles. It was not until the Tang Dynasty that the custom of getting married during the day began.

Later, when people choose a date for their wedding, they should write down the couple's birthdays on red paper, ask Mr. to choose a "good day" and ask the matchmaker to get the consent of both parties, so a ceremony will be held on that day. Their rituals are different. In the Book of Rites, it is recorded that "the son accepted the father's orders and met each other. The host held several banquets in the temple, but was greeted outside the door. The son-in-law went in with the goose and was pushed into the hall. Then he worshipped the goose and was accepted by his parents. Lineage, leaving the country, the royal female car, the husband is sui, and the royal wheel is outside the door for three weeks. When a woman arrives, she must marry her. " When the groom put on his dress and followed his father's orders and led the wedding procession to the front door of the bride's house, the hostess came out to meet him in person. After a bow, the groom took a goose to the class. After the groom made a ceremony to his father-in-law (the heaviest form of bow in ancient times, it took a long time to kowtow to the ground), the bride walked from the room to her father on the east steps. Her father warned her: "Be careful and respect in the future." Later, the bride and groom walked to the gate together. The bride put on a dust-proof coat, boarded the float and took the drive belt from the groom. So the groom drove the float forward. The wheel turned for three weeks, and the groom gave the car to the driver. He took the ink car first because he had to pick up the bride at home. When the bride arrived at her husband's house, she exchanged greetings with the groom at the gate and walked into the house together. However, the wedding ceremony of later generations is much more complicated. The welcoming team is also spectacular, with dozens of people. In the Han Dynasty, mysterious cars were used to greet relatives, and in the Tang Dynasty, barrier cars with pictures were used. It can be said that before the Sui and Tang Dynasties, cars were used for wedding banquets, and it was not until after the Song Dynasty that "sedan chairs" became popular. Of course, the band is also essential in the welcoming team. The Book of Songs. . . . Mix shepherd's purse and choose from left to right. A beautiful and virtuous woman came to her with a couple and a couple. Staggered leeks, left and right, my fair lady, bells and drums ringing. "It is said that a' good' gentleman wants to marry a' my fair lady' who plays the piano, clock and drum. It can be seen that wedding music has a considerable origin in China. However, it is also recorded that there was no music in pre-Qin weddings, and it was not until the Han Dynasty that the custom of getting married with music was established. According to Hanshu? "Xuandi Ji" records: "In the second year of Wufeng, there is a cloud:' The ceremony of husband's marriage is also a great human relationship. Wine and food, so the salute is also fun. In this county, two thousand stones are forbidden, and people are forbidden to marry, so we can't welcome guests with wine and food. It is because the ceremony of the hard-working township party was abolished and the people were in poverty, so they did not guide them. The imperial edict of Emperor Gaozu Xuan Di was to encourage people to hold banquets and play music at weddings. Later wedding procession, especially since Ming and Qing dynasties, has a tendency of "trespassing". For example, in front of the wedding procession, there are forbidden cards that say "clear the way" and "avoid", the groom wears an official hat, the bride wears a gown with a crown that only maids can wear at the ceremony, and even imitates the etiquette of the emperor, adding melons and golden axes. However, because marriage is a major event in life, although there are excessive acts, the government generally does not interfere. But since the pre-Qin era, the utensils used in weddings have surpassed its status. For example, the ink car used by scholars is the doctor's car; Goose as a gift is also a doctor's specification. Zheng Xuan interprets this phenomenon as "taking advantage", which means that a little offside behavior can be allowed on special occasions like weddings.

When welcoming the sedan chair to the man's house, neighbors (mainly children) still want lucky money, which is called "blocking the door": the farewell party scatters copper coins and candy into the air, and the children scramble for it, which is called "all over the sky". In addition, there will be people holding flower buckets and scattering grains, beans, money, fruits and other things at the door-called "scattering grains and beans", which is said to avoid the evil spirits that hinder the bride from entering the door.

The bride got out of the sedan chair and couldn't land on her feet. This is because the ancients believed that heaven and earth were inviolable out of awe of the gods of heaven and earth, and once the bride's feet touched the land, they would inevitably violate the god of the land, so they had to cover them with blankets or mats to avoid it. This custom is recorded in Bai Juyi's poem "Marrying a Woman in Spring" in Tang Dynasty: "Tsing Yi becomes a felt mattress, which is beautiful and oblique." In the Song Dynasty, the mat was changed to mat, which was called "passing mat" or "passing bag", that is, mat or sack went around until the bridal chamber, meaning to carry on the family line. Until the Republic of China, merchants still used flour bags in weddings and southern ceremonies, which were called "inverted bags", which also meant "handed down from bag to bag", and fireworks continued.

When the bride comes to the front of the new house, she must cross the saddle to show her peace and carry a brazier. On the one hand, it means to ward off evil spirits, and fire means to suppress evil spirits. On the other hand, it also indicates that the future life of newcomers is booming.

The "Six Rites" of ancient weddings continued until the Tang Dynasty. In the Song Dynasty, the "Six Rites" were simplified into three ceremonial festivals: accepting gifts, accepting coins (equivalent to Naji in the ancient ceremony) and welcoming relatives, which were inherited in the Qing Dynasty.

Three books refer to the documents exchanged in the Six Rites, including the appointment book, the ceremony book and the welcome book.

An "engagement letter" is an engagement letter, and both men and women formally enter into an engagement. When Najib (Guo) is used.

"Gift Book" is a gift book, that is, a gift list, which lists the types and quantities of gifts in detail. Use it when receiving gifts.

The Wedding Book is a book for marrying a bride. For picking up the bride on the wedding day.