Marry yourself

20 18.6. 16 Guiyang is sunny at 25 degrees.

Previously on:

I started writing today, and I want to write the book most: marry myself! Why? I find that modern ladies have a lot of complaints and disappointments about men. It seems difficult for women to meet the right person. More and more people are married late and single. Even married women are mostly unhappy, because their expectations of men are far higher than their performance.

Therefore, I want to write this book, hoping to bring you a better state of mind through a little personal feeling and experience, because the power to change your state of mind is actually infinite. You can go to heaven once and go to hell once. The content of the book "Marry Yourself" is my own process and experience of changing my mentality and improving my happiness index as an older single young woman, and it is also my analysis and suggestions on unhappy individuals and families. If reading it can make you feel happy and bring you happier thoughts and actions, that is the meaning of the author's writing this book.

As the author himself, I must ask myself to have the idea and action of marrying myself! In this life, I can or may marry someone else, but first, I want to marry myself and rely on myself. Only you will always be loyal to yourself, never leave you, always accompany, trust and rely on you.

6. 17? Guiyang Qing

Today, I chatted with my girlfriend. In fact, it is not very reliable for women to expect their husbands to support themselves and their children to support themselves. What kind of life they want to create and what kind of life they have are the most reliable and controllable.

6. 18? Guiyang Dragon Boat Festival? very good

Today, I chatted with my male friend. What is the purpose of having a boyfriend? Get married and have children? I thought about it, this is really not my purpose. What I really want is companionship, having people I like to eat together, doing things I like together, and sharing happiness and pain together ... As for getting a license to have children, I think these two things are really too big for me to meet someone who can make you make up your mind. Therefore, instead of waiting for disappointment, it is better to turn yourself into the person you want to accompany most and the person who can accompany you most happily and faithfully.

6. 19 Guiyang green

Today, I went to Jiaxiulou. In the natural sound of birds singing on the river view of Jiaxiulou, I finished reading a book alone. What a wonderful word! The name of this book is Six Chapters of a Floating Life. The author and his Yuner are deeply in love, but in the end, because of his unhealthy body, the author became a lonely person, wandering around the rivers and lakes alone, and experiencing ups and downs alone. From this book, I realized that marrying myself applies not only to women, but also to men. Not only for those who can't find a lover, but also for those who find one. Because the person you love is not with you all your life, you don't know when you will find him or when he will leave. After all, we still accompany ourselves through life.

6.23

Do whatever you want. Don't expect anyone to accompany you. You can only achieve yourself. If you meet someone who is also achieving yourself in the process of achievement, and the general direction of achievement is basically the same, then you can go together. And this is something that can be met but not sought. What you can only seek is yourself. What you meet is surprise, gratitude, thank God and thank each other. Speaking of which, I'm running. If you want to go, go by yourself!

6.23 Transfer

Why do some women prefer to be single rather than find a boyfriend?

Master Lin? Digging for money? 1 week ago

The night my friend Xiao Lei came back from his hometown, WeChat started with a sad face.

"Who let me go to my cousin's wedding? You don't know the scene. Obviously, someone else's wedding day made me the protagonist. Every once in a while, uncles and aunts who haven't seen you for a long time float in and ask repeatedly if there are any objects. Why not get married? Is it too much to ask? Then I took out my mobile phone to show my unmarried male resources. "

She made a long speech soon.

"I am still embarrassed to go back in front of my parents. I am so wronged! I giggled all night and my face froze with laughter! "

In fact, after the wedding reception, the atmosphere at home was not much better. For the 800th time, her parents earnestly "enlightened" her: lifelong events are the most important. It is difficult for her to have children when she is old, and others will point fingers ... (5000 words are omitted below)

Jessica, a well-off and financially independent female white-collar worker, instantly became Wang Cuihua, who was too old to marry in her hometown.

"But to be honest, when others look at you with cheap goods, it is deceptive to say that they have no feelings in their hearts." After a long time, my friend sent this sentence.

I remember a reporter not long ago asked when Hebe Tien would get married. Hebe Tien threw it out directly. What age is this to ask such a question? The reporter was speechless, and finally he could only nod again and again.

Fuck. Yes Beautiful.

From the perspective of economics, there is a view that the premise of transaction is mutual recognition of a certain price system.

You go to the vegetable market to buy food. If someone sells carrots 100 yuan/kg, you will definitely turn your head and leave. The boss pays you a salary. If he thinks your job is not as good as your monthly salary, he won't give you a good face.

However, sometimes, if you want to "not depreciate", you don't jump up in the coordinate system, but completely pull yourself out of that coordinate system.

Even if 4C is the best diamond, how much do you think it can be sold in the small commodity wholesale market? There is nothing to argue about, because the value system is different.

My values of marriage and love have undergone several changes.

The first stage, eager to achieve KPI.

Well, when it is too tender, it is easy to be easily dyed by the outside world. Just a few words back and forth, the more you listen, the more anxious you are. Oh, by the way, the color tone is a bit like that of Mr. Zhang, a big graduate student who attended the wonderful press conference before.

40 days before marriage, Zhang Xuefeng broke up with his girlfriend. According to ordinary people's logic, if you don't have a girlfriend, look for it slowly. However, in order to achieve his goal of "getting married before the age of 30", Zhang Xuefeng got married as scheduled, but the bride changed.

I lost my girlfriend and still want to get married. After all, the date has been set.

The legendary "40-day marriage KPI" …

Frankly speaking, I quite like the feeling of falling in love with a pink bubble, but once I put on the curse of "getting married before XX", I feel almost the same. You obviously love curry beef rice, and as a result, someone pointed to a KPI performance table and said, "You have 30 minutes, so you must give me 30 plates of curry rice!"

Do you find it difficult? Do you want to throw up?

The second stage is "broken cans and broken falls".

Reject all kinds of blind date bureaus, whether explicit or implicit. When people say, "Are you free this weekend?" My inner OS automatically ignites: Is it a blind date? What the hell? I don't want to be judged, okay? Hmm ~ no.

At that time, the mentality was now, and I saw articles like "34-year-old returnees have become" devalued suburban houses ",which were not only forwarded to friends, but also to the stars of the universe!

Cut a few pictures from the video of the park's blind date corner, which is worth flying into a rage:

An aunt learned her age, said five words "Oh, courage is commendable" and turned to leave.

(My uncle said to her, "It's no use watching her study for a master's degree", adding the above sentence)

(Another uncle commented on her: "She is not ugly, never married, and this room is not bad, but she is old, so the house is in the suburbs")

A few days later, the golden sentence of "begging for 10 thousand a month" was born in the blind date corner. In contrast, workplace games and family disputes are a P, and the blind date corner is the arena! Tell me, why did you rush in and be embarrassed?

The third stage is the reconciliation of different values.

Say forced, you have your red rose and I have my Bai Yueguang. To tell the truth, it's just a different perspective.

You use physical and chemical standards to measure, choosing a spouse means choosing conditions, having a good academic record and a good taste in work, not as good as being young and beautiful and being able to cook. I don't agree. That doesn't mean I have to throw you to the ground.

You despise the matchmaking corner as an elite gathering place in Zhihu. Make friends again and again, turtles are standard, the United States, Canada and Australia have green cards, and several rooms have high salaries. However, they have no influence on your life.

It is better to seek common ground while reserving differences than to distinguish between black and white.

However, Wilde said: it is not selfish to live the life you want, but to ask others to live according to their own wishes. When you see something you think is worth 1000 yuan, you pay for it yourself and try your best to get others to pay for it. Isn't that a problem?

I have some heartfelt suggestions to get out of this disturbing cycle.

Please pay attention to yourself.

Recently, I chatted with a friend, and he said that I had no idea of finding a female ticket at all, especially after raising a cat.

"Really, there are too many things to play. Isn't the movie good? The game is not fun? Is the swimming water bad? Or is the kitten not cute? "

Your world is colorful, and it is difficult for the outside world to color you;

If your world is scarce, the eyes of others can easily become a guide to action.

Take it easy

It's not worth the loss to exclude others from knowing the opposite sex because of some nagging. It's terrible to talk about marriage when you start, but it's good to fall in love. It blooms in spring.

If you have a good eye, step forward and hook up. Really, some people worry from the beginning that their parents are not easy to get along with and too busy to take care of themselves, one is like spring, the other is like autumn …

God, don't scare yourself like that. Only when you start can you say later. You kidnapped the future with a dense list of mate choices.

There are two states in life.

For some people, there are two states in life: married or unmarried.

For some people, life also has two states: happy or unhappy.

This kind of happiness is a sense of healing when playing cats at home in comfortable and supple pajamas, a sense of accomplishment in the workplace efficiently, and a driving force for being kind to yourself and trying to live a colorful life regardless of whether you are in love or not.

One thing, all aspects. Which side you choose to look at determines how it looks in your eyes.

The judgment of "depreciation" is also roughly the same.

In Friends, when Rachel blows out the candles on her 30th birthday, she says, "I'm 29 again." The next year, on her 3 1 birthday, she said, "I am 29 years old, again and again."

Fear may be a sign of uncertainty.

On the one hand, we don't want to tick off one by one according to the schedule step by step. On the other hand, we also lack the strength and confidence to confront. I have read a sentence that people who are worried about their devaluation after 30 years old are afraid that their life before 30 years old is worthless.

Living a good life is always the first priority. As for the rest, ignore them, you have your fruit.

6.23 Feel the rain in Zhuhai

Now that I am married to myself, I will not take the initiative to find a boyfriend. I want to be the person I want to marry most, and then take good care of myself!

6.24 Zhuhai situation

If you want to have the freedom that ordinary people don't have, you have to endure the loneliness that ordinary people don't have. Just an equal exchange of happiness and unhappiness. The answer is in your heart.

Published on 20 16-02- 15? The copyright belongs to the author.

Not getting married is just an attitude of choice, which will not have a great influence on the facts. Love is love. If I don't get married, I want to be with you. When you are ill, I am willing to take care of you wholeheartedly. I am willing to remain loyal and work with you to nurture our crystallization. If you don't love me, you don't love me. I may really stay with you because of marriage and fulfill my husband and wife obligations, but that doesn't mean I still love you.

I remember Ma Weiwei said a word when Qipa talked about "divorce without love", and I was deeply impressed. Her position at that time was that "there should be no divorce without love."

If two people are sure to be together for life, there is no need to get married at all. The purpose of getting married with a license is to be afraid that one party will not love and want to be together one day, and the other party can tie each other up with marriage. So don't divorce without love.

So in simple English, marriage is a contract. It does not affect love, life and happiness. Have you ever seen anyone unhappy because they signed less contracts?

Almost know

Happiness or unhappiness has nothing to do with marriage, but how you live.

Some people are anxious to take off their orders every day and give up on themselves. Regret after marriage and want a divorce. After the divorce, they still complain all day like abandoned wives. Then I always feel that I will meet the right person, or that love rat love rat will change for her and continue to remarry.

In this cycle, blind cats may encounter dead oysters, or they may spend their lives regretting and complaining.

Combine happiness with marriage, and some people will never be happy. Happiness is given by oneself, not by marriage. A passive person will only be pushed around by others.

People who have the ability to be happy will be happy anyway, which has nothing to do with marriage.

Why do you think there is a causal relationship between your marriage and your happiness? When you are young and don't know anything about men and women, is there an animation that makes you very satisfied? Get into a good university, do you have a good job? If you are married, but your life is very stressful, do you feel happy when you get married? You can cite many examples to show that there is no causal relationship between happiness and marriage. You live to get married. Isn't other life satisfaction serious? Only marriage is serious? I suggest you read a philosophical book about marriage. You never thought about the information you received when you were growing up. Do you think people will get married? Sometimes, if you jump out of your existing knowledge and ask yourself why, you will feel a lot more open-minded. Just like now, I think if I have a good job and a high salary, I can afford a house, and I am beautiful, I will be happy to travel around the world. People have given marriage too much value, which should have been a fate. The world doesn't develop according to your wishes. People think first and then make a choice.

6.26

It is a kind of self-love accustomed to nature, and it is also a kind of heart-to-heart dialogue with yourself in a long time. She may not have met anyone, but she must have met herself.

I am the kind of person who likes to be alone, or who doesn't regard being alone as pain. I don't talk to anyone for an hour or two every day. It's not boring to run or write an article alone. I prefer reading or listening to music quietly by myself rather than working with others. I can think of many things that only one person needs to do.

Haruki Murakami, what do I talk about running?

Love is to love the distance and observe the boundaries.

Love is not control, but proper support and constant attention to keep boundaries.

I don't want to fall in love anymore. Maybe my life is not only unsuitable for marriage, but also unsuitable for falling in love. This is also doomed in a previous life! It doesn't matter. Just be alone. Fortunately, there are music and books. I don't argue with anyone, and I don't care who I argue with.