One of the Traditional Marriage Customs-Media-telling Writing

In feudal society, men and women "give and receive without kissing", emphasizing that "there is no cloud and rain in the sky and no marriage on the ground". Generally speaking, both men and women should have a good discussion before "tying the knot", "harmonious Qin Jin", "tying the knot" and "living in harmony". This combination is called "matchmaking". After the founding of the People's Republic of China, "matchmaking" was renamed "introduction". People who do this kind of matchmaking work are called "Yue Lao", commonly known as "matchmaker" and later renamed "introducer".

"Old Moon" is the abbreviation of "Old Moon". According to the novel of the Tang Dynasty, a scholar named Wei Gu passed by Song Cheng in the evening and met an old man sitting on the side of the road, with a big pocket in his hand, reading a big book in the moonlight. Wei Gu asked him kindly what book he was looking for. The old man replied that this is the marriage certificate of everyone in the world. Gu Wei asked the old man what was in his big pocket. The old man replied, "If you tie men's and women's feet with a red rope, as long as you tie a man's and a woman's feet on the red rope, even a sworn enemy or a stranger thousands of miles away will definitely form a husband and wife." Therefore, people say that "a thousand miles of marriage is a thread." "If the elderly don't need the red line under the moon, they can't go to another place." It can be seen that people are in awe of the matchmaker.

The matchmaker is also called "matchmaker". The biography of Yingying written by Yuan Zhen, a talented scholar in the Tang Dynasty, created a clever and lively image of a handmaid matchmaker. She carefully planned again and again, and finally contributed to the marriage between Zhang Sheng and Yingying. Based on this story, Wang Shifu wrote Yuan zaju "The West Chamber", in which the image of the matchmaker is more vivid and lovely. People call the matchmaker "the matchmaker", which shows their importance and friendliness to the matchmaker.

Matchmaking is not an easy task, as can be seen from the fact that matchmakers are called "Iceman" and "Ice Axe". According to the Book of Jin, I had a dream that I was on the ice and talking to people under the ice. Suo's explanation of this dream is: "You talk to people under the ice on the ice, which symbolizes that you are reconciling Yin and Yang. To reconcile yin and yang is to be a matchmaker, and you will be a matchmaker for others. " But this media is not easy to do. You have to melt the ice with your enthusiasm before both men and women can get married. "It seems that matchmaking requires enthusiasm and perseverance.

In the old-fashioned wedding, the matchmaker is also called "Wako", and the matchmaker is "holding Keke", which proves that the matchmaker is an indispensable role. The Book of Songs chants: "How about cutting Ke? There is no axe to cut. How did you marry that wife? Media is not allowed. " It means: "How can I cut off a big branch?" Don't chop without an axe; How can I get my wife? You can't get married without a matchmaker "

Matchmaking is a skill. The matchmaker should not only be familiar with the basic situation of men and women and their families, but also make every effort to propose marriage at home. Moreover, he must basically and accurately reflect each other's situation to both men and women and their parents, try his best to hide evil and promote good, so that both sides can fully understand each other's strengths and are willing to reach a marriage agreement. In other words, if you want to be born, you must have a matchmaker's mouth. To be a matchmaker, you should be diligent in running errands. From the day you begin to bridge the gap between men and women, you should always shuttle between men and women, exchange information, convey each other's wishes and demands, and prevent accidents. Traditionally, both men and women have the obligation to entertain the matchmaker, and it is not an exaggeration for the country people to say that "the matchmaker has a hundred meals". It can be seen that it is diligent in running.

The matchmaker plays an important role in the old-fashioned wedding. After both men and women have basically reached an agreement on marriage, he should guide the man on a blind date, send a modified Geng sticker on behalf of both parties, guide the man to get engaged, choose an auspicious day for marriage, guide the man to take over the marriage, and assist the wedding ceremony until the couple enters the house, and then throw the "matchmaker" over the wall. The media said it well, and both sides were satisfied. In the future, they often exchanged views and became old friends. If the media doesn't speak well and both sides are dissatisfied, they will often blame the matchmaker and be regarded as passers-by from now on.

As a matchmaker, the matchmaker can get some money, which is called a "thank you gift". Money is usually paid by the man (if the man goes to the woman's house, it is paid by the woman). The day before the wedding, together with chickens, elbows, shoes and socks, and cloth, they are sent to the matchmaker's house. The matchmaker must guide the next day and call it "round media" or "initiating media" or "sending media". The amount of money to thank the media depends on the financial situation of the host family, but no matter how much, it needs to be sealed with red paper, which is called "red envelope" or "envelope". It is customary to write "envelope label" on red envelopes.