Why can't some eight-character marriages see the bride, and the husband says he can't see the bride?

Marriage custom has a long history, which was formed in the Han Dynasty and is still passed down today. Traditional wedding customs are very complicated, which were simplified in the early 20th century, replaced by "cultural" weddings in the 1960s and 1970s, and gradually recovered in the 1980s. But the procedure and etiquette have been greatly improved, and the form and content have been greatly simplified. As the saying goes, "a hundred miles is different from customs, and ten miles becomes rules." Due to the large area and large population, administrative divisions have changed several times, and all localities have their own unique customs.

The main marriage customs are:

First of all, engagement

1. In the old days, there was a custom of early marriage in rural areas. There was a saying that "after the seventeenth or eighteenth birthday, my daughter married a poor family without filling the house" and "she was too old to stay, so she stayed for revenge". Therefore, when a girl is 15 or 16 years old, she needs to find her husband's family. Parents entrust a matchmaker, and the matchmaker looks for a man according to the woman's own and family conditions. Generally speaking, the conditions are quite the same, and the door is suitable. Then, get the woman's consent, and then go to matchmaking.

2. Marry with the consent of both men and women's families. Marriage is to check whether the date of birth of both men and women is consistent with the animal sign. If it matches, you can get engaged; If they don't, they can't. It is an important link in the process of marriage and plays a decisive role.

The marital status after marriage can be divided into three types, namely, superior marriage, middle marriage and inferior marriage. There is also a taboo "marriage breakdown". The formula is as follows:

Since ancient times, chickens and dogs have barked, and white horses have never been afraid of green cows.

A snake sees a tiger cut like a knife, but a pig can't compare with an ape.

The dragon sees the rabbit walk in the clouds, and the mouse sees the sheep die.

Fate doesn't match, and men and women can't get married anyway.

3. After seeing the family for the New Year, both men and women can get married as long as the marriage is not broken.

Some women think that the matchmaker can't believe everything he says. For the sake of prudence, try to find out the real situation of the man's family. A better way is to go to the man's house to see it in person. Through field observation, the situation of the poor and the rich is clear at a glance. However, the investigation of the man's family situation is generally sudden, otherwise the man will be prepared and then he will not see the real situation.

Depending on the family situation, some women go in person, and some women's parents secretly go to the man's village to inquire. Only when they see it with their own eyes can they be practical.

4. After seeing the family situation in the man's house, the blind date woman can meet without any opinions, that is, blind date. The location of the blind date is chosen at the matchmaker's home or in the market. Both men and women are brought by their families. If you plan to buy something after meeting, the man should bring spare money.

After meeting, if both parties are satisfied, some people will buy clothes, shoes and socks and other daily necessities in the market as engagement objects. The man holds another banquet, invites the matchmaker and the woman's house to have dinner, and the marriage is settled.

5. Chuanqi The man buys clothes, cosmetics, jewelry and other items for the woman and gives them to her, which is called Chuanqi, and Cambodia is also called Chuanqi.

Generally speaking, the time of transmission is two months and two days in the lunar calendar. Yes, man, even numbers are auspicious.

There must be two people who go to preach, and it is two or three generations. Besides, the matchmaker must be present.

There are two kinds of communication: small communication and big communication. Sending a small message is to buy only a few clothes for the woman as the number one card, indicating that both parties agree to this marriage, commonly known as "too red." To preach great enlightenment, there must be a burden, that is, a blessing. The luggage skin is a big red cloth, two and a half feet square, that is, the length and width are about 70-80 cm. On the morning of the opening day, aunts at home or couples with children on both sides will do the packaging, which is also commonly known as "relying on people", otherwise it can't be packaged for people.

In addition to cloth, shoes and socks, cosmetics, jewelry, and mascots. For example, wrapping a little salt in red paper symbolizes virtue; Wrap a little wheat bran to symbolize blessing; Wrap a little flour and rice to symbolize the rice noodle couple; Wrap a pair of onions, symbolizing cleverness and golden harvest getting old; Pack a pair of wormwood, symbolizing loving couples; It is closed with a steel needle made of red and green silk threads, symbolizing a perfect match made in heaven. There are also two big envelopes made of red paper, called Kai, which contain red and green paper, which says "A match made in heaven", and "Grow old together" below, with the names of both men and women written in the middle, indicating that "red paper and green stickers are relatives".

After the luggage is packed, the messenger can deliver it to the woman's home. If the man is going to get married in the near future, at the same time, entrust the matchmaker to ask the woman's birthday, that is, "birthday", so as to choose the right date to marry the bride. So the man needs to add a pair of fruit boxes or four bags of fruit. When the woman's family saw the fruit box, they understood that the man wanted to give her a birthday. If you agree, give a "birthday" and write your daughter's birthday on red paper for the sponsor to bring back.

6. Look at the date. After the woman's birthday is delivered, both men and women can prepare for the happy event, but the first thing is to be optimistic about this day. Depending on the date, the man will find someone to check the date of marriage according to the date of birth of the woman. However, if one of the man's parents is 47 or 51 years old, he can't marry his son this year, which is a big taboo. For a long time, there has been a saying that "47, 51, the eldest son in the family will not marry".

As for which month to get married, it depends on the woman's zodiac. Generally choose according to the lunar month. The formula of Yamato Moon is as follows:

Chickens and rabbits happen to be in July, and tigers and monkeys get along.

Pigs and snakes are suitable for March 9, while dragons and dogs like April and 10.

Cattle and sheep drive fifty-one, and rats and horses are full of joy.

If there are special circumstances and the wedding month cannot be determined according to the formula, it is called borrowing the month. Marry under the moon, to "scare the town." As for which day is a good day, it mainly depends on the woman's birthday, whether the date is in line with her own destiny or with the other party. Therefore, the choice of wedding date should vary from person to person, not the same.

Second, get married.

Women's marriage is also called "leaving the house" and "leaving the boudoir". After the good days, the husband wrote the good days on red and green paper, the red paper was kept by the man, and the green paper was sent to the woman's house by the matchmaker. The woman is going to get married on a good day. Its customs mainly include:

1. You need to get on the sedan chair the day before crossing the sedan chair road, and get on the sedan chair the same day near the road. In order to be lively, the rich family invited the suona class and sedan chair hired by the man to play the bomb at the woman's house the day before her daughter got married. In the evening, the relatives paid for the sound, and blew until late at night, and stayed at the woman's house that night.

2. Put the sedan chair on the head of Nvjiazhuang, and the woman will send a boy to sit in the sedan chair.

The sedan chair arrived at the woman's house and had a good time. People who greet the sedan chair set off firecrackers first, and people in sedan chair also set off firecrackers, giving "makeup clothes" and "Qinglong stickers" to the woman's home.

3. Make-up sedan chair: men put on make-up firecrackers, musicians play make-up songs, and the bride puts on make-up clothes and dresses up.

The packing work should be done by the woman's menstruation or sister-in-law. Spread red paper on the bottom of the box first, then put the clothes and put the box pressing ceremony on it. After installation, put a seal on the box. Put Echo (meaning love), wheat bran (meaning happiness) and green onions (meaning cleverness) in the desk drawer.

According to the dialect of bridesmaid, the bridesmaid is called "old buddy" and "accompanying the family", which means that the woman's parents are afraid that their daughter will be wronged in the man's house and spend money to hire an older daughter to go to her husband's house. The maid of honor's task is to be fully responsible for the married person's food, clothing, housing and daily life. If someone makes trouble on the wedding day, the bridesmaid will also play a protective role. Bridesmaids usually accompany the bride for three, five or seven days, up to one month.

6. Sitting in a sedan chair Before the 1960s, women had to sit in a sedan chair when they got married. The sedan chair is a wooden frame, surrounded by sedan chair clothes. The sedan chair is made of satin embroidered with dragons and phoenixes. There are statues around the roof, which are very beautiful. The sedan chair was carried by four bearers. There is also an umbrella player in front, called a parasol.

7. Take a dowry. No matter whose daughter gets married, she has to pay a dowry. Some pay more, some pay less. "A girl who can't make up for it is an endless year", which means that paying her daughter's debts is as endless as Chinese New Year. Dowry is said to be "big eight" or "small eight" Ordinary people pay "small eight" and rich people pay "big eight". Find someone to carry all the dowry, no matter how far away the husband's family is. Take the dowry, do business, wipe the pole, and eat. After eating, the man's family will also "reward" (it used to be two yuan a pack of cigarettes). So all the neighbors in the village are vying for dowry.

8. The time to get married depends on the distance. Get married early if you are far away, and later if you are near. The custom in the north is that the bride must arrive at her husband's house before noon 12, while in the south, the later the better, but not later than dark. When she began to dress up before marriage, the suona class came to the door to play the song "Hon Hai Marries". When she was dressed up, she could get married.

9. According to the car, the woman's aunt or sister-in-law (both children) burned red paper around the car, indicating that she would drive away.

10. Find a chair and put it at the door in advance. The married person's uncle, uncle or brother will take it out, put it on the chair and carry it to the sedan chair. Because married people can't touch the ground, when walking from home to the door, they must wear their shoes backwards to show that they won't touch their parents' soil and take them to their in-laws' house. Married people still cry, which is called "crying marriage" or "crying sedan chair". Just cry. The more tears you cry, the more wealth you leave to your family. Tears are displayed as "golden beans". It's not good not to cry. The family should persuade her to cry. When everything is ready, you can shoot and play music, get married and set off.

165438+ The bride's family advised her not to cry. Except for the passenger, all the people who sent the sedan chair went home, and the sedan chair bearer could stride away. The bag of the sedan chair contains "Qinglong" stickers and firecrackers. When you meet a bridge, put up a Qinglong sticker and hang firecrackers to avoid it. If two sedan chairs meet on the road and both want to get the upper hand, the two newcomers exchange handkerchiefs to solve the problem.

12, it is customary to send the daughter of a big guest to get married. There must be more than two people in Fujian, and they are two generations. If the woman has an uncle, it is better to let her go; If you don't have an uncle, your uncle will go alone and your brother will go alone. The person who sees a guest off must have a certain position in the world, be well educated, be eloquent and drink, because his behavior represents the image of his family. The first duty of "big guest" is to deliver the sedan chair safely to the man's home; The second is to meet in-laws and make polite remarks; The third is drinking; The fourth is to look after the house, take a look at the new house, and tell the bride to honor her in-laws, respect the old and love the young, and so on.

Third, get married.

Marriage is also called "visiting relatives", "getting married" and "marrying a wife". It has certain procedures, each of which is indispensable.

1. Put a quilt for those who are happy to have two children, and put red dates (early birth), safflower (flower arrangement for a son) and ginkgo (growing old together) at the four corners of the quilt.

2. While putting on makeup clothes, sing "red cotton trousers, white trousers, grow old together, step by step".

Step 3 make the bed. Please your grandfathers, uncles and aunts with two children make their beds with sorghum stalks, cereals, sesame stalks and other plants (with many children), and use red paper Bao Qing bricks to cushion the legs of the bed, sing bed-making songs and play pillow songs.

4. Roll the bed to find 2-3 little boys. The bed maker covered two or three red eggs with bowls and rolled on the bed, singing "Red eggs are all over the bed, and a big egg will be born next year". After tumbling on the bed, the boys shared the red eggs.

The day before the wedding, the main family should find someone to write a wedding invitation. Wedding invitations are posted on all the doors and small doors, and all the doors in my home are also posted with wedding invitations. Create a festive atmosphere.

6. Burning happy paper means burning paper, kowtowing and setting off firecrackers on ancestral graves to let us know that their descendants are married. Because it is a happy event, it is called burning happy paper. Generally, an older man is carrying a bamboo pole with articles such as twisted matchpaper, cut red paper, firecrackers, fruit offerings, etc., leading the way in front, followed by the suona class, and the little escort follows the groom at the end with a flower mat. When they came to the grave, they put a tribute, pressed a piece of red paper with clods on the ground, lit the paper, and the young escort and groom knelt down and kowtowed four times, then set off firecrackers.

7. The sedan chair welcoming team is generally composed of 4-7 girls. They wore bright clothes and lined up in the yard. When they heard the firecrackers to welcome the sedan chair, they went out of the house and walked slowly. The girl who walks in the front holds a "pot" in her hand, which means saving her life; Another woman was carrying a tea tray with a small bowl of honey on it. As soon as the car door was closed, she dipped a finger in honey and put it in the place where couples quarreled to show sweetness.

It should be a man and a woman. The man is holding a bucket, which contains whole grains and a mirror (representing white), and a steelyard (satisfying) covered with a blue headscarf (representing green, which is called clear white when combined with the mirror). Followed by a young woman "above", she walked steadily and slowly.

8. Get off the sedan chair and stop near home. The bride can't get off the sedan chair until it arrives. "I want to send it, my uncle and sister pull it." The bride is helped by her uncle and sister. Go when you get off the bus. There are two seats * * *, which are carried by two men with children on both sides of the seats and spread over the head from behind the bride at her feet. Going to the banquet means "passing on the happy son", and some places pass on sacks, which is called "handed down from generation to generation". When entering the door, the person carrying the bucket will grab the grain and scatter it on the bride's face or head, which is called "Saxi"; Not far from the gate, there is a big iron basin burning pine branches, which the bride must cross to show her bright future; There is also a saddle in the middle of the yard, which is also a sign of peace in the future.

9, scattered accounts, also known as "Sa Xi". When the bride got off the sedan chair, the cashier sprinkled wheat bran, gingko, peanuts and red dates on the bride, and sang "One is prosperity, the other is eternal happiness, the third is fertile land, the fourth is mules and horses, and the fifth is five sons ...".

10. There is a table in the middle of Baitang yard called "Tiantai Table" with a pair of red candles lit on it. There are two chickens (long-lived chickens) under the table, and they are tied with a set of red paper. When the bride came to the table, the groom had already waited here, and the two of them were side by side. First, the leader lit the pine fireworks in front of the celestial platform, then announced the start of the wedding, fired a gun and played music, followed by a worship of heaven and earth, and a worship of Gaotang. The husband and wife worshipped each other and sent them to the bridal chamber.

1 1. After the bride and groom enter the bridal chamber, the "go-to-the-table" seats block the bridal chamber and drive away the people who make trouble in the bridal chamber, and then they begin to "pay the bill". The person "above" lights the longevity lamp first, so that the bride and groom can sit face to face on the bed, and then the groom takes off the bride's hooded Hong Haier with a balance beam. At this time, husband and wife face each other for the first time. Put a bucket on the bed and two people hit it with their pedals at the same time.

12. There are two aunts or eldest sisters with two children, holding a worship box with two red eggs, a knotted white thread and a bag. The "champions" first roll red eggs on the bride's face and sing "Today's champions enter the bridal chamber, and the champions will be born early next year". And read aloud: "string of red eggs, eat fruit this year, eat your red eggs next year."

13. The person "above" unscrewed the hair from the bride's forehead with white thread, calling it "opening face". After opening her face, the girl became a daughter-in-law.

14. After eating longevity noodles, the chef cooks a bowl of dried noodles called "longevity noodles", but don't cook noodles. When the bride and groom eat "longevity noodles", they should ask "Is it raw?" The bride and groom usually say "born" to win the favor of having children. At this time, someone used a wooden stick to drive out two "long-lived chickens" under the bed. If the rooster comes out first, it means that the husband is a boy after marriage and the hen comes out first.

15, it is an important part of marriage custom to send a house to make trouble in the bridal chamber. On the wedding night of the bride and groom, the host prepared several tables of banquets and placed them in the middle of the yard. The groom invites relatives and friends, relatives and neighbors of the village to participate in the delivery of the house (mainly young people), generally about 15-30 people. One of them must have a glib tongue, equivalent to a wedding master. Language should be humorous, and you can find ways to make the bride and groom make a fool of themselves, so that the ceremony will be warm and the laughter will last.

After dark, set the table first, usually four tables together. The delivery man sat around and lit candles. Four fruit bowls on the top, and then four cold dishes, cold dishes together, sent to the room. The suona class began to play, and the drums sang with the music. Arrange the staff to sit in the middle and shout "Happy as soon as you enter the door". Everyone should say "good", "the groom asked me to deliver the house", "good", "lead the way before the flowers and candles", "good", "get busy with the drums on both sides", "good", "good" and "good, let's drink." Let's have a cup together. The first cup must be gulped down. After three glasses of wine, the groom was invited. Tao: The Weaver Girl has been waiting by the river for a long time, Good, Build a bridge to cross the Cowherd, Good. At this time, the groom arrived, sat next to him, drank three glasses of wine with the guests first, and then persuaded them one by one. Then invite the bride out to the ceremony and shout "Yes". The bride must be a younger generation or peer than the groom. Please say again that the bride will not leave the bridal chamber. Then please two, please three until the bride is invited out.

When the bride entered the room, she began to serve hot dishes. There are usually 6 to 8 courses per table. Then, I began to sing the bride's aria. When the bride made a toast, the ceremony arrived and the delivery man began to play tricks on the bride and groom. Some require the bride and groom to change their belts; Some tie an apple with thread, so that the bride and groom can bite it with their mouths at the same time; Some tie a piece of candy with thread so that the bride and groom can eat it at the same time, and so on. There are many tricks to make things difficult for the bride and groom.

Delivery usually ends at midnight. At this point, the wedding is over.

Fourth, go back to the door

Daughters are family members after marriage, so they can't be as free as they are at their parents' home. When she leaves her parents' house, she must get the consent of her in-laws, otherwise she can't leave. Especially when you go back to your mother's house after marriage, you must pick it up.

The first few days after marriage are very particular about picking up and dropping off. The return time is usually decided by the family. There are also four-to-four (taking a more arrogant homonym), that is, they are picked up on the fourth day of marriage and sent back to their parents' home four days later. There are also seven to eight (more and more homophonic), that is, pick it up on the seventh day of marriage and send it home on the eighth day. There is also a nine-to-nine (homophonic). Now it is generally changed to "busy for three days". On the first day, I get married, take it home the next day, and send it back on the third day.

On the day of returning home, the bride's family will give her daughter ninety-nine steamed buns, two chickens (one male and one female, some of which are roosters called returning home chickens), a racket (strung together with straw poles), a bamboo column and returning home shoes (one pair for her parents-in-law and brother-in-law, and several pairs for several people). Door-to-door shoes are made by married women. First of all, they respect their in-laws and care about their brother-in-law and others. The second is to show the skills of needlework. Whether the door-to-door shoes are big or small. If it's small, it's just little shoes for family. After returning to the door, the whole wedding procedure is over.

In 2007, the marriage custom was listed as one of the representative works of intangible cultural heritage in this city.

This article Gao Bohua Shang Huaqi

The above is about why some eight-character marriages can't get married, and it is about the sharing of marriage. I read Mr. Wang's statement that I can't meet my relatives. I hope this will help everyone!