40 funny and humorous sentences

1, what programs are full of deception and lies but very popular with the broad masses of the people? A: News broadcast!

2. If the developer can't afford the house of ordinary people to be enforced by the court, can the ordinary people ask the court to enforce it if they can't afford the house of the developer?

3, the world is cold and cold, and the human feelings are warm and cold.

4, having * is not necessarily a mother, but having money must be a grandfather!

They are all from China, not to mention the quality!

Since both prostitutes claim to be graduates of famous universities, I now generally claim to be illiterate!

7. Take off your clothes. I am an animal. Put on your clothes. I am the devil wears Prada!

Since I became a pile of shit, no one dared to step on my head.

9. Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face

10, there are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

1 1, you are really creative and brave to live!

12, you can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

13, people always make mistakes, otherwise the right path is crowded.

14, in order to cooperate with the successful completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

15, I won't bend over when money falls from the sky, because even pies won't fall from the sky, let alone money.

16, give me a fulcrum, and I'll put my neighbor's car in the ditch so that he won't honk when he sees me.

17, if the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I will resign. Before I resign, I will give him two Chinese and kill him.

18, you'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is really unbearable!

19, drinking a catty of white wine is absolutely not a feeling, because drinking half a catty will kill you.

20. I will still look for you in my next life, because besides me, you are the stupidest.

2 1, once in a while, a silent life will feel great, and a silent life will be miserable.

22. Don't hang yourself on a tree, try to die on several trees several times-completely!

23, on impulse, the crisis of the peerless Tangmen descendants!

24, the early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

25, arguing with MM about whether whales are fish. Finally, I said that the Japanese also bring personal words, and she agreed that whales are not fish.

26. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years!

There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women on the campus of Beihou University will live forever.

28. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic.

29. I am not afraid that the enemy is like a tiger, but I am afraid that my teammates are like pigs!

30, summer is not good, when I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind.

3 1, I am not a casual person, I am not a casual person.

32. Life is sometimes like being raped by a eunuch. Resistance is painful, but it is still painful not to resist!

33. In bed, practice is the only criterion to test kung fu.

34. I don't know whose daughter-in-law is in my bed, and my daughter-in-law doesn't know whose bed she is!

35. Beijing University of Science and Technology cheated me for four years, so I plan to cheat the society with the knowledge taught by Beijing University of Science and Technology for life!

36. The dinosaur said: Don't worry when you encounter metamorphosis; When you meet a beast, enjoy it slowly

37. When is the time to hug each other, and Yang is watching the fun.

38. Tie Hua smiled at me yesterday and asked me to count sheep at night, one sheep, two sheep and three sheep.

39. When you grow up, marry Tang Yan to be your husband. Play if you can. If you can't play, eat him.

40. Break the wife tenure system, implement the aunt shareholding system, introduce the miss contest system, and promote the lover contract system.

40 interesting signatures

1, staying up late hurts, and sleeping is my only relief.

God will certainly forgive, because that is his profession.

Don't think you are a literary youth just because you are wearing a stupid glasses frame.

Use this hand to drive away mistress, and continue to struggle for happiness in the future.

What I am depends on how others treat me.

6. Don't underestimate my sister, she used to fight for the revolution.

7, money is a bastard, spend it and earn it back.

8. Who can resist smiling?

9, do more possible, not useless.

10, see you have a face, but you have a heart worse than an animal.

1 1, your sister's charm was overwhelming, but you pulled it back.

12, little me, wearing everything with secular eyes.

13, the myth you heard is what I have been talking about.

14, you like people around you, but I can just knock you out.

15, eat, drink, and be merry to order goods, and feel pain to call a wife.

16, isn't it time to walk over and never come back?

17, if everyone follows the rules, it is not life.

18, I just put my heart on you for the time being. Don't forget, you have no right to hurt it.

19, who is your accessory, you or my spare tire?

I hate it when you say you like me, but you never take action.

2 1, I never use traffic when surfing the Internet, and my neighbor's wifi is enough for me.

22. Tomorrow is my friend's birthday. I sent her a short message when I got up the next day: sofa.

23. Some people make me feel bad seriously, and some people make my teeth ache because they want to be beaten.

Nonsense is the first sentence before interpersonal communication.

25, you are the wind, I am the sand, lingering into a sandstorm.

I just want to break up with you. I can still afford the SMS fee of ten cents.

27. What a child says means taking what a child says as a fart.

28. There is a lot of meat. You won't lose weight after eating it.

No matter where we are, cheeky people will never fail.

The doctor told me to do photosynthesis and not to stay up late.

3 1, mobile phone in hand, bb player in my ear, don't be infatuated with me, I already have a wife.

32. I don't think I am fit to be a mistress. I always lose at games.

33. You keep your word. I won't pay back until I pay back the money.

Don't say I've changed, it's all because of you.

35. I want to be strong. God sent me into this world to be the boss.

36. Play my sister's love as a game. I'll see if you fight in the end.

37. All that can be robbed is rubbish.

38. To put it bluntly, I am a diehard, and falling in love with you is hopeless.

39. Women are used for pain, and men are used to support their families.

40. Put away your hypocrisy. Now, immediately, immediately, roll up your bedding and get out.

Prepare the funny humor of 6 18 chop hands and talk about the generality of sentences (40 items)

Prepare the humor of 6 18 kitchen knife. Say the first sentence. The shopping festival hasn't arrived yet. Before buying Chopper, I had already started the buy buy mode.

2. Today is a good day, 6 18. I hope I can be happy for what I am happy about. When I hear the chirping of magpies, I am lucky!

3. Happy and rich combination boxing makes you happy and worry-free: punch a good luck and smile every day; Two fists make you healthy and stay with you forever; I won't change my mind if I meet you successfully in three punches. 6 18 happy send-off, boxing comes from the heart, I wish you a flower-like mood and endless happiness!

4. Every 6 18, two kinds of people will suddenly appear, one is the self-proclaimed pickpocket party, and the other is the loser. The former is nothing more than showing off wealth, and the latter is the most hateful: not only a daughter-in-law, but also TM showing off wealth!

When I am rich, I must use two pieces of paper to shit.

6. "How much is the discount for 618?" "Your hand!"

7. It's like your enemy. It is the happiest to spend it.

I can't shake off my anger. I bought it at buy buy, but women still have to be good to themselves! Go to the variety show after shopping, or it will be your own misfortune to turn white with anger …

9. Not poor, but price-sensitive consumers.

10. I've been trying to give you some discount, but haven't you come yet?

1 1. If you can buy it lying down, why stand and grab it?

12. Be fatter, be happier, smile, be happier, be in a daze, be in a better mood, get rich, be beautiful in Tao Tao, send text messages, send blessings and be happy 6 18. I wish you happiness, happiness, happiness and luck.

13. I was just shocked by myself. I really don't know how terrible it is not to pick up women. I bought a lot of things that I never used, and I always felt that I lacked this and that. The problem is that I buy it with buy buy every time I have a big promotion. This is only a small part of it. Generally speaking, I think I am a stupid e-commerce dog.

14.6 18 Le Yaofa, you are a model of the new era 6 18 Le Yaofa, you make a demonstration, and everyone will see 6 18 Le Yaofa, eating eggs and eating double yellow eggs 6 18 Le Yaofa, winning the lottery/kloc-

15. Fighting for three days. Really tired. The way to be Japanese is to live better than him or her. Buy 6. 18 from buy buy tonight. 50 masks and a Chanel bag. 5K, we can do it tonight.

16. I haven't walked so many roads for a long time, I haven't gone out to eat and go shopping with my girlfriends for a long time, and I haven't had such a good chat for a long time.

17. Women, even empty nesters, can't let go of lipstick. Buy buy is happier and buy buy is healthier. ?

18. When a woman reaches a certain age, she has to buy it in buy buy to suppress her manic heart. I have to buy clothes, beauty tools, lipstick and a bag from buy buy? .

19. Not only get married together, but also settle accounts together.

20. The weather is good today. As long as you keep your corners up, good luck will come. Are you happy?

Prepare the funny humor of 6 18 chop hands. Say the second sentence: 2 1. It's a little scary for women to buy earrings alone in buy buy —— Some recent thoughts of buying earrings addiction.

22. A woman is really a creature who can't control herself to buy in buy buy.

23. Two people are blind date.

24. If you win the prize and find the treasure, you will be surrounded by wealth; Trouble disappears, smile more, and happiness is accompanied by a good mood; Sunshine, Qingyun road, good luck and success depend on each other; 6 18, be happy, be happy, bless you.

25. Women really can't go shopping together. The flies in buy buy, buy buy can't stop. You buy clothes and I buy shoes. Happy impulse consumption.

26. A group of women go out to play, just in buy buy, buy buy. Spending money makes people happy.

27.6' Six things are yours, and good luck is in hand. 1I wish you happiness. There are countless beautiful things. 8' means you are rich, and you are rich again and again. 6 18 happy and rich. I wish you every day, every year, and Lele will make a fortune.

28. 18 happiness is coming, and wealth covers you, me and him; 6 18 music delivery, gold coins rolling like a brake; 6 18 happy delivery, lottery winners buy lottery tickets, and shareholders share shares happily; 6 18 if you are happy, businessmen will make a lot of money in business. If you earn it, I will also earn it for everyone.

29. Happy hair, SMS wish you happy hair, and wish you a good mood; 6 18, happy to send, happy to laugh a few times, cash and banknotes for you to spend; 6 18, happiness is coming, a beautiful life is blooming, and financial resources are rolling into your home. I wish you happiness and luck!

I didn't understand the logic of the whole thing until I cried my head off. Although I still don't believe it, I feel much better. The biggest gain is that I started spending again. When I was shopping, I ... Ah, I bought milk from buy buy. Ah, potato chips, bought in buy buy. Ah, spicy strips, in buy buy, buy buy ... consumption is always an outlet for women's bad mood. I think I cried for nothing ...?

3 1. You little girls and kannika nimtragol should find out! The women in buy buy are all the same, and they will look old if they don't buy it! He Han can have a crush on us in Jun Jun, so we will buy it in buy buy, Jun Jun.

32. 18 you can buy what you like at buy buy, use what I like best, and get interest-free q, if only this kind of good thing could happen every month.

I don't like walking, but I like shopping.

34. Be happy and get rich, and getting rich will help you get rich. Wealth is by your side every day, wealth is always by your side, wealth is always by your side, and the happy god of wealth is holding you. I wish you happiness, wealth and sweet life!

35. Be happy. I wish you a sweet and happy hug. Help yourself to health. Bad luck has nothing to do with you. The god of wealth smiles at you, and money is busy entering your home!

I can wait for love. If I get rich, please do it at once! Right now!

37. If the money is gone, you can earn it again, and the baby will be gone when you take it off the shelf.

38. The shopping carnival is coming. Are you ready to catch it?

39. Send blessings, wish you good luck again and again, forward greetings, wish you happiness, pass blessings, wish you wealth, wish you happiness, wealth and happiness.

It won't happen again, the price is up to you!

39 super funny joke sentences

First, when men and women flirt, the most distinctive Chinese character is born: bump.

Second, don't always think that tanning can cover up the fact that you are an idiot.

Third, I am lying on the sun earth, lying on the sun universe!

Fourth, I'm not afraid of beautiful women treating me like a pervert, but I'm afraid of ugly women treating me like a rogue!

Fifth, men are walking genitals!

Six, two people miss each other, called love. Call it a bitch if you think about it yourself.

Seven, all unforgettable love is the moment when the soul is free in bed!

If you can't dress your woman in a wedding dress, don't stop your hand from unbuttoning her clothes!

I won't bend over when I lose money in the sky, because I won't even lose pie in the sky, let alone lose money.

Ten, don't degenerate in debauchery, just pervert in silence.

When did the moon begin to appear? Ask the sky for wine … the sky says, fuck you, I'm too busy to talk to you and watch the weather forecast by myself …

12. Lack of social experience means lack of exercise.

Thirteen, it occurred to me that day to use your photo as a computer desktop. Damn, I'm infected by a computer virus!

Fourteen, "Does it hurt?" "It hurts." "Then forget it!" "Don't!"

Fifteen, skipping classes too much, one day I wanted to go to class and met the professor. The professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.

Sixteen, Valentine's Day, I turned around and found the phone number of a girl I secretly loved in middle school, and sent her a short message: If there is only one bowl of porridge, you drink half a bowl first, and I will put the remaining half in my arms to keep you warm ... A few minutes later, she replied with a short message: Who introduced you? 400 at a time and 700 at night.

Seventeen, it is said that women are as fickle as the weather, and men are like people who broadcast the weather-unreliable.

Live well or die quickly.

As long as someone tells you that he is busy, it is equivalent to announcing to you that you are not important to him. 38 13。 I didn't stand you up last night. I climbed over the wall to find you, but that stupid dog in the yard bit me.

20. Marriage is the grave of love. Without it, you will come to no good end.

When I smile, my smile is full of bohemian temperament like a poet, but behind this bohemian is a delicate and warm emotion. When I am silent, I look up like a pure and graceful girl in the choir and a noble with a deep and elegant head. Yes, I am such a man who perfectly combines various seemingly irreconcilable qualities.

22. Is your child eating human milk or your milk now?

Please promise not to change your name in my next life, so that I can find you easily.

The best poet in China is in a mental hospital.

25, 7 1 photo fully reveals the reason why the South China tiger has become an ultra-rare species-the tiger whose tongue is stuck out for half an hour without changing its posture will not become extinct!

Twenty-six, born with rain, not genius!

Twenty-seven, the future road, I hope you can go on your own. And I, by car!

I only have one wish every day-to be alive tomorrow!

I bury corn in the soil in spring, and I will harvest a lot of corn in autumn. I bury my wife in the ground in spring, and I will be shot in autumn!

30. Every time I face delicious food, I always tell myself, "Eating too much will kill me." But it turns out that I'm really not afraid of death.

Thirty-one, even Beckham doesn't know, how dare you talk to me about basketball!

Thirty-two, I am left with eight honors and right with eight disgraces, representing the harmony between the waist and the chest. People block killing, while Buddha blocks killing!

Thirty-three, milk is not necessarily a mother, money must be a grandfather!

34. When I came to this world, I didn't intend to go back alive!

35. My daughter is a baby girl. ...

Thirty-six, I think I'm a pervert. I have an Oedipus addiction and like the best mature women. Why else do I want to fuck her grandmother every time I see her face?

37. Why is your mobile phone dead so soon? Tell me who you shot.

Thirty-eight, you still let me kneel on the washboard, kneeling on the electric heater is really unbearable!

Abstinence, don't disturb! Or I'll break the rules.