What is the procedure for men and women to get engaged?

Both men and women are arranged by the matchmaker, and after a little clue, they will "close Xiao". In the old days, it was thought that the zodiac animals could not be combined, such as dragons, tigers, snakes and mice fighting, chickens, dogs, sheep and mice being incompatible, tigers and sheep "falling into the tiger's mouth" and sheep and mice "resting", so intermarriage was prohibited. There are also taboos about the age difference between men and women and the animal sign. The age difference between men and women is six years old called "Big Six Red" and three years old called "Little Six Red". "Little Six Red" is acceptable, and "Big Six Red" is forbidden to get married. There is a saying in Shaoxing: "Men belong to sheep, women belong to sheep, and keep their houses empty", thinking that men belong to revolution. Women are sheep, so that most men don't marry sheep women. Those who belong to sheep women either marry "hard" men or are forced to "fill the house". This custom shows that old-fashioned marriage should not only be suitable for families, but also abide by the words of parents' matchmakers and must be recognized by superstition.

In the past, people of the same ethnic group were not allowed to get married, and same-sex people were not allowed to get married. Although Jin and Liu are different surnames, it is said that Jin comes from Liu, so Jin and Liu are not allowed to marry. Xinchang Yuan and Lu are feuds, and intermarriage is regarded as a violation of ancestral teachings.

If men and women are close and willing to get married, they should post to each other. The date of engagement is chosen by the woman and the date of marriage is chosen by the man. After the woman chooses an auspicious day, the man sends the "invitation" to her home together with the "invitation". The woman's family sent a "quasi-fake post" and brought it to the man's house that day. After the book has the words "all blessings" or "zhengsu", it was signed as "my foolish brother ×× Zhuang Jing bowed sincerely in the wedding year". In addition to the words "Quanfu" or "Zhengsu", a piece of paper with the words "Respect for Taiwan Province" is attached. Permission to post is the same as asking to post, except that the label is rewritten as "Respect Taiwan Province's orders"

When a man posts, he must post lychees, longan, walnuts, red dates, lotus seeds, pine nuts, ancient philosophers' cakes, hazelnuts, tung nuts and green beans. The woman's family usually receives the most gifts. After the woman's family issued a "commitment post", she chose the date, and the man paid the price (that is, gave the bride price) and got married after the ceremony.

There are "the first set", "the second set" and "the third set" for men's service. The first bride price is the price of the girl's body, which means paying for the upbringing of the family. Generally, it is based on the age of women: before Qing Daoguang, "the poorer the wind, the more money the husband's family hired, according to the age of women's teeth"; After Qing Tongzhi, "the number of women is thin and the number of money is doubled"; Around 8 years of the Republic of China (19 19), Shaoxing "women spend six yuan a year, at least four yuan"; 1949, "The betrothal gift paid for engagement is one stone or half stone rice to make rural women one year old". Fan Yin's Yue Yan says, "When you get married, you should prepare money, silk flowers, red stickers, bracelets, sticky fruits, fruits, chickens, geese, fish, boat pavilions, fruit pavilions, tea tables, carved wine and worship Cambodia." The bride's family received a bride price and gave back dragon cakes, phoenix cakes, robes, Four Treasures of the Study, tin hip flask and other things. During the ceremony, the male family must have carved wine and the female family must have tea, so there is a saying of "male wine and female tea". This etiquette is "three teas and six rituals". When poor peasant women in mountainous areas such as Xinchang and Shengxian get engaged, the man usually prepares a basket of foreign goods, two pots of old wine and a small amount of dowry, which is sent to the woman's home by the matchmaker.

After the man sent the first bride price, he immediately asked the woman for a "G". Ask the woman's birthday clearly, then send the birthdays of both men and women to the date shop, and ask the astrologer to arrange the "eight characters" and choose the auspicious days of "sleeping" and "marriage". Please send two red stickers and a pair of suitcases to the woman's house when you get married. Red stickers are also called worship stickers or begging stickers, but asking for stickers with the words "Zunya". The suitcase contains "tea material" such as Xianglian and sugar. The woman's home went back to tea material as usual, and sent the worship stickers and permission stickers to the man's home.

After that, the man's family sent two sets of bride price to the woman's family as a dowry. Etiquette is roughly the same as when delivering the first course. The posts are red and green, written on the bed and on the wedding day respectively. The format is usually "I sincerely hope that the bed (or wedding) will be happy". At the same time, the man will give a pair of "satin heads" (silk materials) and "clothes folds" (ready-made clothes) as bride price.

Several men send the first set and the second set at the same time, which is commonly known as "the follower".

On the eve of the wedding, the man must send three sets of bride price to the woman's wedding banquet. If the woman's family is alive, the man's family must send filial piety money and gifts. When Hua Jiao gets married, the man must also give "money for opening the door" and "money for getting on the sedan chair". Poor families have several ways to save money:

Labor is used to replace employment. It was agreed by the matchmaker that the man would stay at the woman's house for several years without pay. At the expiration of the period, the man's family does not need to organize a bride price, but only needs to pay the expenses needed for marriage.

Adjusting parents means changing marriage. Both parties betrothed their daughters to each other as daughters-in-law to save bride price and wedding expenses.

Old relatives get married. In the past, this custom was very common, mainly for the marriage of close relatives. In addition to enhancing friendship, you can also spend less on bride price, but the marriage of close relatives often delays future generations.

After the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), the marriage system was abolished. Although many young men and women can fall in love freely and get married independently, most of them still rely on introductions. In the 1980s, youth organizations, trade unions, women's federations, neighborhood offices and neighborhood committees organized marriage agencies to act as "matchmakers" for young men and women. When the love is mature, go to the local government to register and get a marriage certificate. In the old society, the bad habit of getting married basically didn't exist, but once you get married, the style of banquet is very hot, and the habit of wasting money has never stopped.

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