The full text of Jing m Guo Dao 4 "I didn't miss you very much".

Seeing that the new students are about to leave the campus, most of them are busy with their future work, so I will send you this article by Jing M. Guo. On the way to find it, don't forget the support of friends around you, and don't forget to support your friends. Don't be afraid of difficulties, the road of life is full of bumps, seize the opportunity, no matter how difficult it is, swear not to bow, and walk all the way. The heart is there, the dream is there, and the life you dominate is the most wonderful.

ToA∶ 1

I didn't think much about you at first, but suddenly Japanese dramas began to play on TV. Those familiar tones once appeared in the summer before our graduation many years ago. I still remember that you looked up at Coke and smiled, saying that I would set foot on that land one day. Then no one expected that the original joke really became a reality. Maybe you didn't take it as a joke and I didn't listen carefully.

It's already winter in Shanghai, and it's cold to open the window now. Although it's only 1 1 half a month, I often have the illusion that when I open the curtains, I will see thick snow. I repeated this imagination day after day, but then I was disappointed day after day. Because I haven't seen much snow since I was a child, Sichuan is a place where it is too difficult to snow, and the black basin is so warm and humid all year round. It's just that many years later, you went to Japan, and then you can see a lot of snow every winter, so I'm not reconciled, because I wanted to surpass you and compete with you in everything since I was a child. I will compare with you who has better grades, who writes beautifully, who dresses better and who plays badminton better, but you have always been better. So I haven't beaten you until now, and now I have less chance to see snow than you. It's really depressing But if you can come back, I don't think it matters whether it snows or not. I will not think of you who love to wear white clothes because of the snow, nor will I miss you very much.

I haven't listened to music for a long time, and I hardly listen to cello. I think the world is becoming more and more noisy, and there is almost no time to be quiet. Silence is a luxury. I remember many years ago, your life was like this. You don't like talking, making noise and chatting with people. A group of people go to the streets to play, you have to bring a book. When everyone is drinking, you sit quietly reading. I'll take your book away, hand you the karaoke microphone, and then show it to others in a few minutes. But after many years, all this has changed. I began to write about my memories and my life. I chose an interesting career: writer, you told me in your email that there are really many karaoke shops in Japan. In fact, I really want to tell you that I read a lot of books secretly before, because I don't want to lose to you. When you mention a writer, I will proudly say "I have read his book xxxx", and I am quite complacent when I say this. You always smile without saying a word. I mostly thought it was sarcasm, so I rolled my eyes at you. It's just that after so many years, I remembered my smile again. What I think most is, what do those smiles represent? Because I gradually understand that you won't laugh at me. Never laughed at. I didn't suddenly think of the books you put on the whole shelf of my house. After you left, it's time for the moving company to move into my house. I just suddenly want to know what that smile means. I don't miss you very much.

I passed by the gate of Shanghai University of Finance and Economics that day. Actually, I'm riding a boss's BMW 7 Series. I still remember when the BMW 7 Series came out, I wrote to you with great excitement to describe my inner resentment. I'm still talking about how so many rich people in the world are abnormal. But in a blink of an eye, I sat quietly in BMW 7 and traveled all over Shanghai, the most prosperous city in China. And as long as I am happy, I can easily withdraw money from my card and buy one to drive by myself. But how can I not be happy? How can I not be happy to see its streamlined body, the blue and white checkered sign in front and the sound of its start? When I passed by Shanghai University of Finance and Economics, I just saw a group of students coming out of it. I don't know why they are wearing bachelor uniforms and hats this winter, but not in the summer of graduation. Are they performing a stage play? It's just that I saw them suddenly think of the way you called me. It was a rare day in Sichuan. The hot summer gradually passed and the typhoon could not blow, but I knew that Shanghai would definitely land in the form of a hurricane. You called my hometown in Sichuan, and you said that you were about to graduate, and you got two licenses for accounting. You said that the boss of a consortium appreciates you very much. As long as you graduate, you can go to work in that famous Japanese consortium. I must be very happy when you ask me how I am doing. I wish you happiness. So I, I was going to ask, "When will you come back?" I finally didn't ask. Wish me happiness. Why come back? Maybe you won't come back until my wedding day. But maybe you will get married on my wedding day. Because I have to compare with you since I was a child, and your auspicious day must be the best. Since I can't choose a better one, I will at least be as good as you. So most of us will get married at the same time and on the same day. I didn't say a lot. I think you should know that I didn't say it.

You have no idea how strong I am now. All over China, but nobody knows my name. You don't know any of this. I just told you that I am writing a book now, and it seems to be very popular. But maybe you can also find some information about me online. I don't know if you really don't know everything about me now. I always thought you were strong. I always imitate your tone and learn your attitude towards things. I even compare with you who stays up long and who does more reference books. The reason why I am an excellent student is simple. But after you left, I became so lonely. I always feel that people around me are not as strong as me. They are not as famous as me. I didn't make money. I'm not good at badminton, and even my jokes are not as funny as mine. I lost my goal, but I don't want to stop so willingly, so I have been fighting with myself. I admit that I am a respectable person. I have to keep improving and surpass myself before I can reach another peak. So I wrote one novel after another, and they sold better than the other. It's not that I'm getting better and better, but that I'm getting more and more scared. Now I change it ten times, fourteen times, and finally twenty times, just because I am afraid that one day I will be bad, because I am afraid that one day people will choose to give up and forget me, and because I don't know how good you are on the other side of the ocean. I don't know that I am good enough for you to praise me, so I have been living a stubborn life for these reasons. I remember what you said to me before. You said that the strongest people actually cry the most behind their backs. I didn't understand it many years ago, but many years later, I chewed this sentence day and night until it was rotten and then swallowed it. This sentence is like a coptis root, so bitter that it is useless to drink any sugar water. Now I know that you can actually be vicious, but those words have a very ordinary face, which makes you ignore the past at first, and then tremble to remember it many years later. I just suddenly recalled that there was such a prophetic sentence in my life. I didn't expect you to say it, nor did I miss you very much.

In fact, I sometimes think that those migratory birds are really stupid. They fly hard from north to south every year and then come back the next spring. Why don't they stay in the south all the time? Just like you, once you go, you can never come back. Then I thought about it, because they are not as smart as you. You have been an extremely clever child since you were a child. When I graduated from primary school, there were 22 prizes on my wall, and you had 3 1 prize.

Do you still like cherry blossoms? I don't like it anymore, because I've watched too much on TV, which I've never seen in real life. It's a bit boring. Now I'm beginning to like the camphor tree planted in the whole middle school. The tall and silent Cinnamomum camphora looks like you once stood in front of the school cafeteria. You once took out your wallet to buy coke, went back to the dormitory to buy clothes hangers to dry washed shirts, borrowed three dollars from a girl who was thirsty because you had no money, and then the girl began to write love letters to you crazily. You used to stand in front of the canteen because you couldn't buy a candy I couldn't name. You once went shopping and your wallet was stolen. And it happened that the money I gave you was a birthday present for my sixteenth birthday. And you. Later, I wanted to buy you another one, but I found that the 30% canvas wallet was out of stock all over the city. Then it was out of stock, and I still couldn't find the wallet until you went farther and farther away. How unlucky do you think I am?

It seems that I have experienced many summers in a flash. Since you left those camphor trees, I think summer has become hot and unbearable. I wonder if Japan is like this? Stay at home or in the studio in summer and don't want to go out. There are groups of happy young people outside basking in the sun. Today, I went out to finish some work and sat in the car. A long time ago, a female writer I like suddenly said to me, You see China's writing is so wonderful that one word can't completely replace another. You think so much about happiness and happiness, but are happy people happy? This sentence left me speechless. She changed the subject when I was thinking about yes or no. She is also a Gemini. She couldn't remember what she said for three minutes. If the speaker is not serious, the listener will not be serious. Do I have an obligation to do this? I said a lot, you keep it in mind bit by bit? So that now you write to me and say what I said before, I can't remember it at all. Did I really say that? I didn't suddenly recall so many relaxed or heavy topics we talked about, but I was suddenly bumped into some memories by that girl. I didn't miss you very much.

Do you remember CK brand? You are the first person to wear CK in front of me. I was a poor student at that time, so when you told me that it was like 600 yuan, I spent the whole day attacking your extravagance and lamenting the poverty gap in China. Now, many years later, you don't know how much I like CK, just because I saw you standing under the camphor tree in that white T-shirt many years ago. You took two schoolbags, yours and mine. You stood under the tree for half an hour waiting for me to go home with you. So now I'm walking down the street in CK, always thinking that at some moment, at some corner, at some traffic light, I'll see the boy in a white T-shirt looking around. I am not late now. I'm looking for someone to wait longer than the appointed time, because I know that no one will wait for me like that, standing in the appointed place and looking around, so I'm repeating your past appearance and waiting for someone else to appear, so that a person will feel happy when he sees someone waiting for him around him. I didn't suddenly think of your luxurious dress, but I suddenly felt bored when I was waiting for someone. I wanted to talk to you and didn't miss you very much.

Do you still like singing in the shower? Or do you still keep this habit of making me laugh? I was watching a concert in the living room, but the sound on TV was not as loud as your singing in the shower. Actually, you sing well, but you can't tell the occasion. You always make no noise when you go outside to sing karaoke, so you never believe what I say about your singing. Now I take a bath in the bathtub for an hour or two without moving, and I don't want to talk or change my posture. In this lonely and narrow space, I seem to see the slow pace of time trampling on the ceiling. I always think of you who used to love to take a shower and sing, and suddenly understand that a person who can take a shower and sing loudly must be stress-free and live a happy and satisfied life. I didn't suddenly think of you and your ridiculously big bathroom. I just thought it was too quiet around when I took a shower, so I talked to myself and didn't miss you very much.

I suddenly want to tell you something that you will laugh at, that is, I have been listening to the song "Angel's Name" from Zhao Wei's new album when I am writing this letter. I remember she was red before you left. You didn't know that she was not a swallow after you left. She is Zhao Wei now, and I have always liked her until now. I was shocked to see her fall all the way and then get up again, gritting her teeth and getting up again, and then I found myself as stubborn as her. A friend of mine who is doing well in the entertainment circle told me that when one day you have to submit to humiliation, when one day you have to bear absurd accusations without saying a word, God will always compensate you for your suffering in another way for the rest of your life. I was shocked to hear that. Did I tell you that I like very strong people? Perhaps because I am not strong enough, I want to live with such a radiant person and be illuminated by his/her light. But there is always no light around, and the darkness is boundless. I can only try to be a shining star, but if I am not careful, it will get brighter and brighter, which makes people feel dazzling. So everyone looks up to you, admiring that you can light up the whole dark night sky, or someone curses you day after day because your light is too dazzling, but no one knows that when a star is brighter and brighter, it is not far from death. Okay, okay, I've gone too far. I still haven't got rid of my old problems. When I speak, I will forget what I originally wanted to say. I want to tell you that I am 2 1 year-old, but this 2 1 year-old man is crying in a mess, because he heard the sentence in angels name, "Because I rubbed my thoughts and blew gently at you." Bend down with all your laughter.

You and I should be living with jet lag now, right? But you will never guess how much time difference we have. It's not because you are not good at geography. I know you got 100% when you graduated from geography, but because I live an upside-down life now, I go to bed at 7 am and get up at 7 pm. Then I wandered around the studio all night. There was no one all night. Everyone is sleeping. I am the only one who walks back and forth in the space of 144 square meters like a ghost. I slept all day. I live like a person, the whole world is dead, and I am the only one left. So my nerves started to break down a little. Late at night, I discussed with others on the internet which way to commit suicide is better. The tone of that man and I are so serious. He said that people who take sleeping pills will eventually starve to death, not sleep to death, because in the end, people will wake up but will not have any strength, even the strength to open their eyes or make a sound. You can hear people around you crying and calling you, but they don't have any strength to respond, so everyone thinks you are dead, and finally you really starve to death. And then I asked him to feel the pulse? He said that although the cut wound was soaked in hot water, it didn't hurt, but when the blood flow reached one third, it began to cramp all over the body, which killed you. Why do you think I suddenly thought of such a thing? But don't worry now, I have already started to adjust the time difference. I didn't suddenly think of the time difference between Japan and China. I just suddenly want to tell you that if one day you want to commit suicide, don't use the two methods I mentioned above. I don't want to make you so miserable. It's just that you'll never want to kill yourself. I'm just saying, I don't miss you very much

I forgot to tell you that the bath water was running when I wrote this letter. Now that the water is put away, I'm going to take a shower. I don't want to write to complain to you, because I have been very sad and stressed recently. You know, you know, you know, I started getting stronger and stronger a year and a half ago. It's just that I suddenly heard the sound of Japanese dramas on TV, and I remembered the situation when we watched Japanese dramas together many years ago. That day, you ate watermelon and dripped watermelon juice on that beautiful CK white T-shirt. I suddenly remembered the way you screamed.

Finally, I forgot to ask, A, when do you think I can grow up and learn not to lie to myself?

Jing M.Guo

I love Jing M.Guo so much ~ ~ ~