What is the most basic etiquette of marriage in China?

There was a set of established procedures in ancient times from the time when men and women were ready to get married to the end of marriage. Although different regions have different customs and habits, some procedures are interrelated. Take men as an example, there are probably the following points:

1. propose

The man proposed to the woman's family through the media. If the woman's parents agree, they will get the girl's date of birth, which is usually called post. Ask an astrologer or fortune teller to get married. If the birth dates of the two men and women are harmonious, the two men and women will discuss their marriage through a matchmaker.

Combine eight characters

China's old marriage customs. After the marriage proposal of the matchmaker is approved by the woman's family, the two sides exchange Geng posts, which are called the combination of eight characters according to the date of birth of both sides. The year, month, day and time of a person's birth match heavenly stems and earthly branches, which is a set of two characters and four sets of eight characters. According to the five elements, wood makes a fire, fire produces soil, soil produces gold, gold produces water, aquatic wood; Water can break fire, fire can break gold, Jin Kemu, Muketu, Tuke water. In some areas, according to the eight characters of both sides, there are superstitious sayings such as "the white horse is afraid of the golden bull, the mouse and sheep are not at the end, the snake sees the tiger like a knife file, and the pig sees the baby monkey with tears". In some places, there are blind dates, and then constellations.

see and assess the suitability of a prospective mate or son

Through the communication between matchmakers, both men and women agreed on the date of meeting, commonly known as "Ren Xiang", "Xiangzifu" and "Xiangnvfu". Generally, men go to women's homes, and some women go to men's homes. Both men and women on blind dates pay special attention to their personal image and try to leave a good impression on each other. When a man goes to a woman's house for a blind date, he must freshen up. Parents or parents should also teach him how to toast, how to address himself and how to serve others. When he went to the woman's house, he went to the woman's house under the guidance of the matchmaker and parents or parents. Most of his manners are more than dull detention, but not handsome and generous.

On the day of blind date, the woman's family also attaches great importance to it. Clean up thoroughly, make a window bright and clean, clean inside and outside, and the girl should dress up. At the same time, she will invite her brother-in-law and seven aunts to accompany her, and let them give their opinions as a reference for whether they can get engaged. At the same time, prepare a hospitable meal and entertain warmly. Even on blind dates, men and women have no chance to talk directly, but they are careful and peek at each other. Before leaving after dinner, parents or parents send money or gifts to both men and women, which are generally accepted on the spot. Whether the two sides agree to get married, then the matchmaker will send a message and exchange blessings.

After the blind date, the woman's parents or parents, accompanied by the matchmaker, take their daughter (or not) to the man's house to "look after" or "look after the property", and get in touch with the family members of the man in an all-round way to find out how many acres of land, how many rooms, how many holes there are in the kiln, how many animals there are, the layout of the yard and the indoor decoration, and consider whether the daughter will have a good life after going through the door. In the past, some poor families were surrounded by walls and their rooms were empty. In order to muddle through and please each other, they had to borrow furniture, furnishings and bedding from relatives and neighbors on the day when the woman "saw the job". "Live" attracts you, and you can get married smoothly.

Discuss employment

The information is transmitted by the matchmaker, and the two sides agree on the bride price and decide the date of appointment, commonly known as "the next big post". The woman asked the man to re-hire a generous gift to show that the woman is noble and the lady is beautiful and dignified. The mantissa of the engagement fee must be "three". The homonym of "San" and "Sheng" in Fuzhou dialect symbolizes having more children after marriage. A woman's dowry is usually daily necessities, furniture, clothes, shoes and hats, etc. Wealthy women also use fields, orchards, trees, houses, gold and silver jewelry as dowry. The amount of dowry depends on the wealth of the woman's family, and the man may not ask for it or be picky. However, toilets, dressing boxes and large insoles are all essential makeup.

pay

Commonly known as engagement, engagement. The man chooses an auspicious day, gives half of the money of the bride price (commonly known as the first half of the bride price) to the woman's family, and gives a gift to the woman's elders, calling it "Mom Bar" for grandma, "Milk Bar" for mother and "Uncle Bar" for uncle. The woman sent it back according to the custom, and distributed the cake, chicken and meat sent by the man to relatives and elders. The recipient should send congratulations with cloth before the girl gets married, commonly known as "adding boxes" Entertain girls inside and outside once, commonly known as "sedan chair glue".

deliver presents

In the past, women were regarded as commodities, so they mostly asked for property in the form of "bride price" through marriage. Asking for "bride price" in marriage is the root of marriage tragedy. Some insatiable and insatiable people have lost their humanity and are greedy for money. They regard their daughter as a cash cow and rely on women to get rich, which means that women cheat money, sell the first and second crops and ask for the "first journey" and "second journey" in the "bride price". They even sold their daughters as concubines, married them as prostitutes and forced them to marry disabled people, regardless of their lives. Therefore, it is not uncommon for people to resist marriage and evade marriage, which leads to human life and makes many young men and women who have the same feelings and vows of eternal love dream hard. Some giants, relying on their wealth, like the new and hate the old, married one room after another. No matter whether others like it or not, women who have been in love with you will buy it with money, often with young and old, ugly and handsome marriages, stopped wives and even young children; People who force marriage by economic strength often happen. Many people are in debt and broke because of their marriage. After marriage, they were penniless and worked hard all their lives. Just how Lao Liu sang in the Qin drama "Blessing": "I also borrowed money to marry you and gave my years of hard work to others ..." Failure to get the "bride price" is the main reason why some people are unmarried and single all their lives.