marriage customs

Because of the different internal branches of Yao nationality, the marriage culture is also very different. However, monogamy is the basic marriage system of Yao people everywhere. When young Yao men and women reach a certain marriage age, they or their parents will choose their partners in an appropriate way.

Free love before marriage

Yao men and women have full social freedom before marriage. They usually make friends with their loved ones through productive labor, holidays, attending weddings, visiting relatives and friends, and visiting markets.

Some courtship methods are also very distinctive, such as duet by the window, hanging from the building to talk about love, choosing a spouse on a long day or meeting under an umbrella. Bapai Yao in Liannan County, Guangdong Province, is popular with duets through windows. In front of or behind the dormitory of local Yao girls, there are usually courtship windows. In the middle of the night, unmarried boys come to sing with torches or flashlights. No matter whether the young man comes from a long way or a short way, whether he knows him or not, the girls will not open the door easily. The young man just stood outside the window, singing with the girl at the window, that is, reporting family, telling life stories and pouring out love. For example, through duets, they fell in love. The little girl opened the door, lured her lover into the house to meet her parents, treated her warmly and made a lifelong commitment.

The courtship mode of hanging a building and talking about love is popular in Lajiayao, Yaoshan, Jinxiu, Guangxi. Houses in this area often have a hanging building outside the main building for girls to live, embroider or fall in love. The young man goes to find a girl to fall in love at night and climbs from outside the building to the hanging building; If the girl is interested, she will naturally open the stair door and help the young people with a smile. Otherwise, the young man will be shut out. Choosing a spouse on a polder day means that every polder day (in some places, every three days is a polder period), young men and women choose lovers from each other.

Many unmarried young men and women in Baikuyao, Nandan County, Guangxi, went to the fair in bright national costumes on the day of the fair to find their own "goals". Others gather in the streets and lanes in droves to choose their Mr Right.

When young men and women courted in Baiku Yao, the woman was more active than the man. When the woman sees the right person, she takes the initiative to sing to the other person for courtship in different ways. The two of them stood face to face, only half a foot away, singing in a low voice and talking endlessly. When she sang to a certain extent, the woman snatched the umbrella, bracelet or belt that the man carried with her and ran away with joy. The woman chased the man to a secluded place in Shan Ye. If the man doesn't want to make out with the woman, he will take back his belongings from the woman unexpectedly and go their separate ways. If the woman is affectionate and the man is interested, the woman will take the man home for a few days, and her parents will examine his behavior and labor attitude. If the woman's parents are satisfied, both men and women can exchange tokens to show that they will meet again. Generally, the woman gives the man a tobacco pouch, and the man gives the woman a silver bracelet or red silk thread. But this is not an engagement. The father's consent is required for engagement or marriage.

Meeting under the umbrella is a way of love in Jinmen Yao, Mengla County, Yunnan Province. That is, young men and women agree on a time and place with each other, and then everyone gets together to sing a duet. When singing duets, the woman often covers her face with a small parasol. The man only listens to his songs, but not his face. When the two sides sing to each other, the man can open the woman's sunshade, and the two sides pour out their feelings under the umbrella. If you love each other, give each other gifts, such as silver bracelets, belts, satchels or silk thread. After a period of contact, if they have deep feelings and are like-minded, they will pledge eternal love, and the woman will bite the man's arm and leave a scar to show her love and loyalty to him.

be engaged in

After a period of communication, young men and women felt the same way and told their parents respectively. The man's parents asked the matchmaker to bring a bride price, that is, wine, meat, chicken or savings, to the woman's house for an engagement ceremony. The content of engagement is mainly to ask the woman's parents to agree to disagree with the marriage of girls and young men, whether to accept the price and agree on the approximate marriage time. After the engagement ceremony was completed, the man chose an auspicious day for the wedding.

wedding

Yao weddings are complex and simple, with various forms. The wedding of Lajia Kiln and Hualan Kiln in Jinxiu, Guangxi is the simplest. When getting married, both men and women don't treat guests, give gifts, beat gongs and drums and set off firecrackers. At the same time, the woman neither invited guests nor made dowry, and the wedding was held in the dead of night. That is, in the darkness of the wedding night, the man quietly sent several young women to the woman's house with five kilograms of pork, five kilograms of wine and five kilograms of rice. The woman's family had a light meal with her relatives at the same table, and then lit a torch to take the bride to the man's house. The man's family had a light meal at the same table with the groom, bride and relatives and the elders of several close relatives at midnight, and the marriage came to an end.

In Sanjiang County, Guangxi, the wedding of Yao Hongqing in Laobao and Wenjie is more unique. They made a lifelong commitment to each other, made an engagement behind the woman's parents' back and held a wedding. After the wedding, someone was sent to the woman's house with the bride and groom, two chickens and twelve pounds of wedding banquet to announce the good news and apologize. The woman's parents had to acquiesce in this marriage. In fact, the woman's parents are not absolutely ignorant, but a marriage custom. After marriage, the wife "never left her husband's house". Every holiday or busy farming, the husband takes his wife home for a few days. Then I went back to my parents' house. My wife is pregnant and will stay at her husband's house before giving birth.

Worship ceremonies are especially popular and grand in Yao Mian. That is, on the wedding day, the man sent several men and women to the woman's house to pick up relatives; The woman also sent several men and women to see her off to the man's house.

On the night of worship, the lights were brightly lit, and there were several rectangular banquets in the main hall, and friends and relatives were full. The bride and groom are all dressed in traditional national costumes, and the bride's head is covered with one side of Yao Jin. The bride and groom stood in the center of the hall (male left and female right), facing the altar, and the master of ceremonies presided over the twelve bows. The main objects to bow down to are: grandparents, parents, uncles and brothers and sisters. Receive gifts by generation, one by one. Every worshipper should bow down 12 times. And propose a toast. Jinmen Yao wants to sing "Road-blocking Song". When he sends more than 10 men and women to the woman's house to meet relatives, he has to sing more than ten rounds of "Road-blocking Song". Bride-taking team will take the bride back to the groom's house, and hold ceremonies such as entering the door, getting married and recognizing the bride. On the third day, the bride and groom "returned" together. Stay at the bride's house for one night, and then go back to the groom's house. In Bapaiyao, Liannan County, Guangdong Province, when the bride got married, her husband read Jing Yao for her, recited auspicious words, and her aunt and sister-in-law helped her dress up. When the bride goes out, she wears sandals backwards.

(of a man) marry and live in her mother's house.

Yao people have the custom of "women should marry while men should marry". For example, in Yao Mian or Jinmen Yao area, when women reach the age of marriage, those who don't want to get married stay at home and marry their son-in-law; Some men who don't want to marry their wives when they grow up can also get married and go to the woman's house. When a man marries a woman's family, the names of his children take the mother's surname first, and then the father's surname. If there are many children, for example. Both men and women have their own children with the same surname. If the man is an orphan or bought by the woman as a son-in-law, the man has to change his name and surname, that is, take the woman's surname. All children born take their mother's surname. If the man is an only child, when he marries the woman and no one else takes care of his parents, he will take the form of "walking on both sides". That is, both men and women have the responsibility to help their parents work, the obligation to support their parents and the right to inherit their parents' property. Therefore, after the only child gets married, parents have no worries. ?

In Yao society, both men and women are married, so there is no problem of son preference.

Divorce and remarriage

Historically, after Yao got married, the relationship between husband and wife was relatively stable and there was little divorce. Widows will not be discriminated against when they remarry.