How to create a happy living atmosphere? . .

Every family has differences, different personalities, different habits, different ways of thinking, different ways of speaking and different ways of communicating with each other. You can't say which family lifestyle is "correct". However, no matter whether parents are strict or tolerant, irritable or quiet, home must be a place full of love, encouragement, emotional and personality trust for children, and a place where children feel safe and reliable psychologically. There must also be rules and regulations.

Most of us hope to have such a family environment, but due to various pressures today, such a wish is becoming more and more difficult to realize. Sometimes this kind of pressure helps us to consider the reality and try our best to make some changes, thus improving the family atmosphere. Here are some ways to improve the family atmosphere.

1. Pay attention to the way you talk to children.

The way you talk to your children every day is part of creating an emotional environment. In addition, to give children the opportunity to open their hearts, we must choose what to say and pay attention to the way of expression.

We often ignore how much children care about their parents' criticisms and how much these criticisms affect their feelings. Martin seligman, a psychologist, found that when parents always blame their children too much, children will feel particularly guilty and ashamed, and they will be very indifferent emotionally. Look at the difference between these two ways of speaking: "Roger, this room is always like a pigsty!" " You are really lazy! ""Roger, your room is really messy today! Be sure to pack up before going out to play! "

The first way is to tell Roger that he can never do anything well. The other is to tell him how to tidy up the room, so that his mother can like him again, without making him feel that he has irreparable quality defects. In order to make criticism beneficial to children, specific and targeted reasons must be given.

Another criticism that is beneficial to children is to let them know the influence of their actions on us. Doing so can arouse their sympathy rather than resentment.

2. Keep the house clean and tidy

Seeing a clean and orderly home every day can make children-and parents-feel more relaxed and happy, which also means that everyone has a calm and good mood. Whenever there is a dispute, emotional tension or sense of crisis, an orderly family is a reliable living harbor, which will never change with the comfort and support of relatives.

Think about the morning. When your children go to school, are they calm and confident or irritable?

What about at night and before going to bed? Do you get angry with your children because of how much homework and TV you watch? The habit of keeping a peaceful mind before going to bed can dispel the dark fear when children sleep alone after turning off the lights.

However, too rigid habits are not conducive to the formation of children's personal temperament, personal interests and personal characteristics.

Give priority to creating opportunities for family reunion.

Hold a family meeting

Many families attach great importance to family reunion time. For example, Martin's family holds regular family meetings to let everyone talk about their troubles for a week, so as to relieve their troubles and share happiness.

When the Martin family got together on Friday night, they also took the opportunity to plan in advance what they would do next week. In this way, the anxiety caused by repeatedly thinking about whether someone has sneakers for the first training, whether there is a book to make a report, or whether there is a car to go to music class is eliminated (mostly).

Cultivate love

There are many opportunities to establish love ties with children in daily life. The researchers found that parents spend time playing with their children, joking with them and sharing their thoughts and feelings with them, and children will be more friendly, tolerant and caring.

In short, giving love can cultivate love. What can convince children that we love them better than our willingness to spend time with them? Many parents say that they feel particularly good when they are with their children-lying in bed watching TV, walking across the block to post letters together, and chatting all the way during a long trip. At this time, the children know that they have all the attention of their parents. At these times, the feeling of injury and hidden fears are spoken out.

Insisting that children be considerate, respectful and fair to others, including brothers, is also part of cultivating love-at least in some cases. In a family, at the end of each day, children should write down the names of people who have done good things for them on the kitchen chart.

Cultivate good habits

Making sure that family members get together at a certain time of the day or week conveys the persistent concept to children-even if children grow up and change, this special feeling will not change. For many families like my friend Francis, family reunion means regular religious ceremonies. For her family, Sunday morning is to go to mass and then eat hot chocolate in a small restaurant in town. Other families also have their own habit of getting together for a week. Every Friday night, Michael and his family happily play scrabble and eat pizza. Dunn's family went to the movies. The holiday habit gives children hope all the year round.

6. Deal with disputes with compassion

Nowadays, family life is not always stable and safe. No matter how perfect the marriage is, there will be disputes, financial difficulties and emotional troubles. In families with divorced parents and stepfathers, these changes test the most compassionate parents. Worry is a part of human life, and caring families will not ignore it-despite their worries, they still strive to create a good psychological environment.

When dealing with parents' disputes, for example, when all the problems are solved, we can let the children know, just like Dennis and Peter did after crying in the kitchen. After they made up, they explained to their children, "Sometimes we disagree and lose our temper. But now we have solved it. I'm sorry to let you hear our quarrel. "

7. Arrange time for parents to be alone

Parents are people who create a family atmosphere. When we are worried about how much money we owe, anxious about the layoffs of the company where we work, or angry with our spouses, we will have a depressed family atmosphere and make our children feel threatened. As a friend said sadly, "parents also need time alone." Taking a walk together and having a heart-to-heart talk in a place where there are no children can help to relieve anxiety. A fixed "Parents Alone" day can help us relive the feeling of love that brought us together in the first place.