Why do people say "I don't go to the grave twice a month"?

There is no such thing in our country. Every year during the Chinese New Year, I go to the grave on the first and second days of the New Year's Day. These belong to my family and a family. In a few days, relatives, such as my daughter, will come to visit the grave. Especially during the Chinese New Year, grave sweeping is quite frequent. As for not going to the grave twice a month, it should be a custom in some places. The so-called ten miles of different customs, whether it can be used, but also respect local customs.

Just checked, some people say that going to the grave more than twice a month will be thought by your deceased relatives that you can't bear to part with him and will give you a dream at night. In this case, it does affect people's thinking and easily damages the nature of living things.

Some people also asked, what if the death day and the Chinese New Year are within one month? Some netizens said this. If you are a person who has died for many years, you can only merge for the last time, that is, during the Chinese New Year. If you are a person who just died, you can't live for three days, five or seven days or a hundred days. You must finish it in the same year.

Anyway, every place has its own customs. If you don't understand, I think you can ask the local elders. After all, this custom varies from place to place.

We kowtow when we go to the grave. People of the same age lined up to kowtow three times. We should draw a circle on the burnt paper, leave a mouth for the old man and face the grave, so as not to be blown away.

Our local funeral custom is that people are buried three days after death and once every seven days, which is called "Burning Seven". If you don't go to the grave twice a month, it is obviously meaningless, because at least four "sevens" will be burned every month. If we catch up with traditional festivals such as Tomb-Sweeping Day and Mid-Autumn Festival, there will be more.

The so-called "different winds in ten miles, different customs in a hundred miles", perhaps in other places, people have the pressure of "not going to the grave twice a month". A custom like this is that you don't go to the grave twice a day. Why do you say that?

Presumably, everyone has also participated in the white things in the countryside. When there is a burning ceremony or anniversary, relatives and friends will gather in the host's home. After people get together, they will bring sacrificial supplies and go to the grave of the deceased to worship together. Few people go to worship alone. Less doesn't mean it's meaningless. In some families, after the death of elders, there have been conflicts between brothers and sisters due to property disputes or living support problems. After the old man died, it was even more troublesome, so even the seventh class was burned separately.

The old man said that the situation that brothers and sisters are not harmonious and can't even attend the seventh class together will make the dead old man "chilling." It must be hard for the old man to see his children at odds over there. Therefore, even if there are any difficulties, it is a family after all. What can't I borrow? Even if it is to reassure the elderly, we should make up.

This folk custom does exist, but it has been misinformed. The original words are "you can't go to the grave twice." It doesn't mean that many people are worried that two relatives can't go to the grave because they died in the same month. It doesn't mean that Memorial Day and ordinary grave-sweeping day can't be visited twice in the same month.

The so-called "can't go to the grave twice" actually means that the old man died and everyone made an appointment to go to the grave, but not one child today and one child tomorrow. In this case, the people who walk behind will definitely see the traces left by the people who walk in front. Brothers and sisters don't go to the grave together, which means that there is a gap between them and they don't want to meet.

Two years ago, Xi 'an's two brothers fell out over this matter. In the past, my brother and sister Tomb-Sweeping Day went to the grave for the elderly. Results In Tomb-Sweeping Day in 20 12, when my brother went, he found someone burning paper. The custom in their hometown is that "you can't go to the grave twice", so eldest brother can't go to the grave again. Originally, we were separated because of different opinions, but this time we are out of breath.

There are many days to go to the grave, usually on the anniversary of death, Tomb-Sweeping Day, Mid-Autumn Festival (July 15) and so on. The younger generation should prepare daily necessities (including cigarettes, wine, steamed buns, incense, paper money, firecrackers, wreaths, etc.). ) used to sacrifice in front of the tomb of the deceased to show the thoughts of the older generation. Since it is a feeling of missing, if you don't miss it, you will go through the motions to "look good" and don't go at all. What's more, you didn't do your filial piety before the old man died, and everything was clean. When people die, they send out mourning. The most important thing is that you cry miserably and take the initiative to go to the grave. If you are busy at work on weekdays, you can grieve once in a while to mourn and then move on. Don't hire someone to go to the grave instead of you. It's no use.

Take care of yourself and try to make some achievements. If an old man has knowledge under the spring, he can close his eyes. The ancients said, "When the body is skinned, parents dare not damage it, and filial piety begins. Stand on the road and leave your name in future generations to show your parents. " It is the beginning of filial piety not to be a traitor and to put the body to death; Standing on the road, making some achievements and leaving a name for future generations is the ultimate of filial piety.

I study some trivial and short-lived farts on my parents all day long and enlarge them into a lifelong career. The ancients called this "worthless"

There is indeed such a saying among the people, especially the elderly in rural areas are more taboo about this and will remind young people to pay attention.

The rhetoric of "not going to the grave twice a month" varies from place to place. But on the whole, it is better for the living. Our local saying is that if you go to the grave more than twice a month, your dead relatives will think that you can't bear him or her, and they will dream for you at night. It will really affect the mind of the living and easily damage the nature of the living.

However, in real life, many people will struggle. For example, the death of a deceased relative is in the same month as that of Tomb-Sweeping Day. Should we go there twice? Then what should I do? Or the deceased relatives died at the beginning of the twelfth lunar month, do you want to go to worship on the anniversary and the 30 th anniversary?

There are different ways to deal with this. Older people will tell you that you have been filial for three years. It is best to pay homage to the deceased relatives in the first year, and it is better to go to Memorial Day and memorial day to express the memory of the deceased relatives, and then do you want to go twice in the next two years? Look at your life and work arrangements. As for the later years, it will be arranged according to normal customs. But the older generation will tell you that in normal months, you only go once, that is, the day you die.

In addition to "not going to the grave twice a month", there is also a saying that "a person does not go to the grave for two years". This is usually an old relative at the end of the year. In other words, the relatives who died at the end of the year, the three-day taboo, the five-seven taboo and the one-hundred-day taboo in the first year, must all be completed, not every other year. It is taboo to complete the merger instead of delaying it for one year.

Different miles, different customs, and different rules. There are different opinions about this folk custom. But in any case, it is right not to go to the ancestral graves twice a month. Back to the beginning, if the anniversary of the death of a deceased relative coincides with Qingming, it is best to go to the grave on the anniversary of the death, not Qingming. Three years later, according to the old system, we will visit and worship on holidays.

There are many topics about going to the grave. Since ancient times, life and death are natural laws.

People should work hard every day when they are alive, and those who are alive after death should express their memory and grief for the deceased.

On traditional festivals such as Tomb-Sweeping Day, July 15th and the first day of October every year, we will bring the paper money, cakes and other gifts that the deceased loved before his death to the grave to burn and worship, which is called going to the grave.

There is a lot of emphasis on going to the grave in all parts of China, and different places have different customs and habits.

So what do some folks mean when they say "Don't go to the grave twice a month"?

Literally, the living can't go to the grave twice a month. But after careful understanding, I found it interesting.

We locals pay attention to the fact that when the deceased dies, it will be burned for five or seven days, that is, within seven or four days, and every seven days, children will burn paper for the deceased at the grave.

If you can't come because of something, you should also visit the grave on the seventh, seventh and fifth anniversary, and then follow the custom. In Tomb-Sweeping Day, it is enough to sweep the graves for the dead on July 15th. Judging from this, you can go to the grave several times a month.

However, some people say that if the living people frequently visit the graves of the deceased, it will make the relatives there feel that you are reluctant to part with him, and it is always very sad.

People on both sides can't feel at ease, the living can't work and study, and the dead can't go home with peace of mind.

There is also a saying that when they go to the grave, the younger generations go to the grave together to worship their deceased ancestors. Seeing that the younger generation and Qixin are in harmony and unity will reassure the ancestors there.

If the younger generation goes to the grave today, he will go to the grave tomorrow, and each will go to the grave and burn paper, which will make the ancestors feel that the younger generation is not harmonious and alienated there, and it will also make the ancestors restless there.

Since ancient times, there has been a saying that "the deceased is the biggest and the grave is safe." Therefore, it is also a kind of filial piety not to disturb the silence of relatives there.

In addition, some places also pay attention to the fact that women should not go to the grave, because the cemetery is too yin, and women belong to yin. Going to the grave can't resist the invasion of yin and affect your health.

For example, the author's family, because her brother-in-law's mother died within one month after the funeral, and then the author's father died, so her children are the most natural in Dai Xiao.

However, at her father's funeral, the elders said that she could not go to Dai Xiao because she had just mourned her mother.

If Dai Xiao is filial again, a person will have a series of adverse reactions, both mentally and physically. From this point of view, it is not good for living people to visit graves frequently.

In my opinion, it is no exaggeration for living people to express their memory and grief for the deceased in any way. When the old man is alive, he should stay with him and care for him as much as possible.

After the death of the old man, it is best to pay homage to the grave on traditional festivals; If you can't go to the grave for various reasons, I believe that the deceased will not blame him, and the living will be grateful, leaving a space in their hearts to silently express their memory and commemoration of the deceased. Why not?

The above is the author's understanding of this topic. Please forgive me if there is anything wrong!

"January" imaginary number: it means that you can't go to the grave twice in a period of time;

Folk custom direction statement:

Folklore is bound to be feudal and superstitious;

1. Yang people (living people) often go in and out of the cemetery, which may provoke their ghosts and wild ghosts.

2. Affect the purity of Yin people (the dead).

3. disturbing the dead, think about people in the yang or people in the yang being disturbed by yin people.

The above can be understood as a folk custom category, and from the perspective of numerology, it may also contradict other related issues.

Interpretation from a humanistic perspective;

Being buried in the ground, yin and yang are separated, so the living should manage their own lives better, instead of excessive nostalgia and sadness.

If you sweep the grave frequently, it will inevitably affect many problems.

1. Emotional problems, excessive nostalgia, depression and easy to get sick.

2. It affects career and work, and it is always difficult to get out of the mood of "funeral", which leads to problems in life.

3. For example, if a spouse dies or a child dies, the living husband or wife, father or mother are often more impacted by inner emotions, and their hearts are prone to collapse, which may lead to suicidal thoughts.

Therefore, it is not recommended to go to the grave for a short time. Another core issue is that the dead rest in peace and the cemetery does not belong to the world of young people. So it is unnecessary and meaningful not to hang out often. You should always be in control of your future and life.

No matter from the perspective of folklore or human nature, there are profound reasons behind it.

Many friends like to ask if tomorrow's customs can be believed. There are many folk sayings, some are credible and some are not. Believe it or not, you'd better face it with awe. After all, these are the survival experiences of the older generation. There must be some truth in these statements that have been circulating for so long and so widely.

This proverb is actually for the living, not for the dead. After all, if a family has several brothers and everyone chooses a day to worship their ancestors, they will gossip about the people in the village. Are these brothers not harmonious? If the deceased relatives see their children coming to worship alone in the underground, they also think that their children are not harmonious, so naturally it is not good to live underground. If a person's ancestors did not live well underground, they naturally would not bless their children. In the long run, this family will gradually collapse. But one-child families don't have to consider this aspect. I think I should be filial and I can go to worship at any time. An ancestor has to take care of four generations of grandparents and grandchildren, so everyone usually feels unlucky. They have to go back to sweep their ancestors' graves and accumulate more virtues. Naturally, you can slowly resolve the unsuccessful fortune.

As long as you want to visit your dead relatives and express your grief, it doesn't matter how many times a year you go. Although local customs are different, it won't have any adverse effects on yourself, as long as you have a clear conscience. However, no matter what kind of folk customs, we should respect them. After all, this is the experience of the older generation, summed up from generation to generation. We should face it with faith rather than superstition. Naturally, everyone can get smooth development.

Our country pays attention to "filial piety is the first virtue", so ancestor worship is the top priority in our life, so this activity will be held on many days or festivals. But sometimes in some villages, I will hear the saying that "I don't go to the grave twice a month". Why?

In fact, this is just some customs in some villages. Not all rural areas have this kind of pressure, and they don't always emphasize "not going to the grave twice a month", but most of them can't go to the grave twice only during the period when the deceased just died. Of course, this kind of behavior has nothing to do with superstition, but more because of worrying about people's spirit and body.

As we all know, when a person just died, his family was very sad, and his mental state and health were not particularly good during this time. If they go to the grave many times during this period, they will be in an atmosphere of excessive sadness for a long time, which is extremely harmful to their health. Therefore, it is not recommended to go to the grave many times when a loved one has just died.

When this time passes for a long time, people's grief will gradually ease. At this time, although going to the grave will also have a sad feeling, it will not have much impact on the body, so at this time, I will not care too much about the number of times I go to the grave.

But as mentioned above, this custom is only exquisite in some areas, not a custom with strong regulations, but more an expression of people's feelings for the deceased.

It is very important for China people to pay homage to their ancestors, because for them, life and death are the same, and they also need all kinds of things to support their lives, so every year on holidays, people will pay homage to their ancestors at the grave of the deceased old man. However, for ancestor worship, there are also many stresses. For example, women are generally not allowed to go to worship their ancestors. It is generally believed that women belong to yin, and the cemetery is too cloudy. It is not good for women to go.

"Don't go to the grave twice a month." Another thing we should pay attention to when we worship our ancestors is that we can't worship our ancestors twice a month at the same time. Why do you say that? Because if you often worship your ancestors, they will think that the living miss him very much, so they will dream at night. After a long time, you will put a lot of mental pressure on the living, and your mental state will be bad, and the efficiency of your whole life and work will drop a lot. Of course, the most important thing is that going to the grave many times makes people miss their loved ones too much and adds a lot of sadness. It is better to choose.

Someone will definitely ask, what if the anniversary of death and Qingming are in the same month? Most people practice unified worship in the first three years and selective worship in the next few days. After all, some people don't have that much time. "Don't go to the grave twice a month" tells us that going to the grave should be done selectively, not often, which will keep me in the memory of my loved ones. Do you think so?

Why don't you go to the grave twice a month, why don't you shave your head in the first month and die, why don't you go to school as a girl in the second day of junior high school and go back to your parents' house. Wait, this series of statements. Only at that time, the old people received less cultural education. Received more feudal ideological education. You should read the old almanac in everything you do. Children have to watch their birthdays when they get along. In fact, these are all part of our folk customs. As a new society and era, when we see these taboos. We all laughed it off.

If we still stick to these old calendars, as the old saying goes. Just to perfunctory parents. Let parents feel comfortable inside. Now you say that we are all educated people. Who still believes in the old saying? We don't know. For example, one day, we may take part in several white activities. There is no way. It's all about relatives and friends, and we have to join in the fun. But my mother has some old sayings like this. Even every time he invited me to visit my grandparents' graves, she would take me to a small grocery store, a small vegetable shop, or somewhere in the station. In mom's words, if you come back from the cemetery. You must go for a walk in public places to release evil spirits.

I don't believe it, but I can't help it if my mother insists on doing so, so I just do it to please my mother. Then there is the saying that my uncle died in the first month. To this end, I had to cut my hair years ago. Wait until the first month, then you can't cut your hair again. Frequent sending will leave a bad impression, so leave early. If you get a haircut in the first month, you won't get sick. If you are really ill, can my aunt spare us? So I said, credibility is dispensable. Don't take it too seriously.