Help me find a three or four minutes of comedy, please everyone, thank you!

Ma Ji Zhao Yan's comic "bragging" comic lines A: the audience friends everyone good B: friends good A: now the 2004 Olympic Games are being held in Greece this you know? B: know ah, this is the world's big event A: Yes, my biggest hobby is sports, so although most of the Olympic Games is midnight live, but I always insist on watching B: Oh, you love sports A: Yes, hobby is a hobby, but that is the next day to get up and can not get out of bed B: No way, jet lag, A: So in order to let you now can see and the Olympic Games as exciting sports competitions, I have decided that today we do not talk about comedy. A: So in order to let you see the same wonderful sports competition as the Olympics, I have decided that we won't talk about comedy today. B: Oh, what do you mean? A: we brother and sister here to give you a sports competition, everyone welcome ah? B: Oh ~ ~ ~ good is good, but the sports program can be a lot of ah A: project more you just pick ah, I'm a multi-faceted hand B: you all know? A: all good ah, which can be, play soccer, basketball, you can pick, soccer, basketball, badminton, volleyball, tennis, table tennis, track and field, gymnastics, swimming, ice skating, long-distance running, sprinting, 200 meters, 400 meters, 800 meters, Marathon B: Marathon? A: is a lot of people a run, the last horse are diluted ~ ~ B: that is called a marathon A: Oh, this year up to change the name of the marathon B: Why change the name of the marathon ah, called the marathon A: This is an imported term, I do not say very clear, anyway, you can pick it B: you mean to let me pick A: Yes, you can pick it B: you see this way okay? A: What kind? B: today which, we here to a soccer game A: Oh, play soccer? Playing soccer good ah, Chinese women's football, that in the world is a first-class ah, men's football, that has been kicked out of Asia, to the world, which is the pride of the whole Chinese people ah, play soccer I also have two skills B: can play? A: a ball did not kick in B: you are too stupid A: did not kick in, that is our courtesy to three first, we humbled him, last time there was a game, I did not let him, they opened a corner kick to, I rushed forward, when, a head to let me into the top of the B: really into the A: I'm in the posture of victory, our players came to give me a big mouth B: he hit you why ah? A: top their own door. B: Oolong ah! A: not I do not play soccer with you, you are too small, not open, even penalties can not be punished, we have to adapt to the local conditions B: or we play chess A: chess pieces are too small, the audience can not see for a while on the nasty B: Oh, the chess pieces are small A: we have to be more than the lively B: Oh, but also have to be lively, then you say what the competition lively A: I pick a project competition, both lively, but also look good, we will be happy, and now you know what the people need? Now you know what the people need? B: need what ah? A: need to be happy, need to be happy. Let's tell everyone to have fun, let's race back to the lively, good-looking B: ah, you say A: race back, everyone will welcome, this is called the bragging contest, how? B: Oh, you mean we are here to compete in bragging, is to say big words A: Yes, say big words B: Then I have to ask, why do we two people want to compete in bragging ah? A: a country to be strong, we need some practical, hard work, our achievements, little by little performance is not blown, that are blood and sweat, flow out, dry out, so we have to learn the hard work of the people against those who stand on the side of the bla, bla, bla, blabbering, blabberer, blabberer misguided, ridiculous and funny, let's go back and forth today to bluffing contest, let our Friends of the audience to see the face of the bragging man, is how kind of ridiculous ridiculous, the future will not be fooled B: line A: said than than than, you, I, the two sides of the bragging athlete B: how about it A: into the venue B: Oh, there is the entrance A: Ready! One, two, one. I learn from you B: I learn from you A: I learn from you bragging B: I learn from you to say big words, what is this thing called ah A: dear friends of the audience, the 2004 World Bragging Bull Olympic Games B: Ho, this bragging bull and the Olympic Games A: Now start, the stage if any friend interested in bragging bull can also go on stage, we cut a bit B: you do not mobilize the masses la ~ ~ A: Well, that first by the first Seeded player B: Who is it? A: the national bragging record holder B: which one A: Mr. B B: Oh, I A: start bragging, warmly welcome B: I first blow A: you can not let down everyone's hope for you, our audience is so enthusiastic, and now please you B: how about it A: open blow B: open blow ah? Good ~ audience friends A: blow hard B: I, now we have to start bragging A: I wish you success, blowing out of Asia to go, hard B: this I really have not blown A: blowing for a while on the good B: line, today, I am both to come, it is blowing A: right B: the audience, I can not do more than other to say that bragging ah, sitting in the audience, including you, which one of you can not be compared to me A: how? B: because I have more than ten years of history of bragging A: much worse, I have more than 40 years of experience in bragging B: how old are you? A: blowing B: tell you, my ability can be greater than you A: my ability than you B: my comic than you say good A: my comic than you say great B: my comic can be the audience to make you happy A: my comic can be said to everyone to cry B: I can make the audience to the back and forth A: I can make you say that is vomiting and diarrhea B: ah? You're spreading cholera? A: the ability than you ah B: my comedy than your role A: my comedy than your contribution to more B: you know how much my comedy role? A: I don't know how useful your comedy is. B: I'll tell you, there's a big cabaret in the area of Dongjiekou A: Oh, a big cabaret B: Some days ago, it caught fire A: What should we do? B: this fire ah, burned for three days and three nights, the city's fire department went, he froze did not put out ah A: that there is no way out? B: In the end, I was picked up by a minivan. A: Picked you up for what? B: after arriving there ah, I rushed to the fire, the bla, bla, said so a comic, you look at the fire A: I see this fire B: squeaky ah: see the small B: squeaky a: come to the force of B: bla squeak! A: What's going on? B: he extinguished, ha ha ha ha, blow, comic can put out the fire A: you do not happy ah, you can put out the fire you can not compare to me B: how are you? A: Quanzhou there, there is a dairy factory, the cows are upset not milk, ah, the cows do not milk, the factory manager can be anxious, this reduced production, income how to do ah? How can we explain to the leaders? Hurry up with the helicopter, quickly to the Haidu Square Performance Troupe, the comedian A pick up B: pick up why you? A: I got to the dairy plant, I just bla, bla, bla, casually said a small comic, ah, moved the cows are crying ah ~ ~ ~ ~ eyes out of all the milk ah ~ ~ ~ wow ~~~~ not good enough ``````` B: What's wrong? A: milk flow too much, began to flood control la B: Ho, milk flood control ah? A: people are using milk to take a bath ah ~ ~ ~ ~ B: tell you, that I also than you role A: I am still much stronger than you B: Xiamen, there is an apple orchard A: Oh, an apple orchard B: this apple orchard apples ah, say what not to grow ah: what to do ah? B: and invited me to go A: to take you to go B: I stood under the apple tree, rushed to the apple, I am the bla, bla, said such a paragraph of comedy, you look at the head of the apple A: I look at the apple of this B: lu, lu, lu, have grown into a big watermelon, blowing ~ A: oops, you can really blow ah B: how about this A: the audience, I still have to struggle to blow, let's say we Fuzhou, in the Cangshan that area, in the city of Fuzhou, the city of Fuzhou. Let's talk about our Fuzhou, in the area of Cangshan, there is a duck factory, where the ducks more than two years do not lay eggs, ducks do not lay eggs factory director anxious ah, how can we do ah? Take the crown car to pick up that A B: and pick you up? A: I got to the duck factory after I said a traditional comedy B: which ah? A: I said a section called the name of the report B: I paragraph can be difficult A: I said the comedy to sell energy, I said is steamed lamb, steamed bear's paw, steamed deer's tail, roasted duck, roasted chick, roasted goose, brined pig brined duck, soy sauce chicken, preserved meat, pine flowers, small belly, drying meat, sausage, assorted Su Pan, smoked chicken, white belly, steaming pig, river rice stuffed with ducks ~ ~ I'm a small mouth with a machine gun as if I was talking about me a sweaty head, the ducks! Touched by the ~ ~ ~ duck thought ah, ah, we more than two years have not laid eggs, people so far to give us a comedy, to not lay eggs too not enough buddies, this time not only to lay eggs, but also to create a miracle, to repay the benefits of people on us, after thinking, duck to the ground a plop, listen to the porpoise, bla bla bla B: how about it A: out of the next two camels to B: ah? A: Super bragger. A: super bragger B: then you're still not as good as me A: you're still far from B: my comic can cure a disease A: my comic can medical B: my comic to cure the wind A: my comic to cure the cold B: my comic to cure the headache A: my comic to cure B: cure what? A: Cure foot odor B: My comic can cure big diseases A: Cure what big diseases ah? B: last time ah, there is an old lady, the old lady in bed paralyzed for more than 80 years A: eight ~ ~ ~ eighty years? B: Chinese and Western doctors have all been invited to the frozen did not cure A: this is not dangerous ah? B: Finally, and I invited to go A: to take you to the B: After entering the door I first gave the old lady bowed A: Oh, but also very polite B: Then I rushed to the old lady's bla, bla, bla, said such a small paragraph of the comedy, the old lady listened to the comedy of the crutches flung a A: how B: run to Greece to participate in the 2004 Olympic Games, blow ah, I do not believe A: A: Oh, too much to blow, the audience, I can have Playing with life to blow it, last Friday I went to Beijing Babaoshan to go to a trip, I went to the crematorium inside the comedy to go, just said three minutes, out of the question ~ ~ ~ B: What happened? A: even live with the dead, jumped up a piece of home, go go go, wife, let's go home to eat B: Oops, everyone, he blew the dead froze to the living ah A: that we have this comedy than the power of heart pills are great B: that I am also better than you A: I'm still better than you B: you see me as a person? A: How are you? B: I this person is young and old A: you can not, I this person is mature too early B: I 11 ah on the university A: you are far from it, I was 10 years old that year as a professor B: I was 9 years old as a scientist A: I was 8 years old on the manufacture of nuclear weapons B: I was 7 years old when I got married A: I was 6 years old, my son was 13 B: 6 years old, his son 13 ah? A: just blow it, bragging is not taxed B: if you say so, I was 5 years old on the old age spots A: I was 4 years old on the head lines B: I was 3 years old on the hunchback A: I was 2 years old on the loss of teeth B: I was a year old hair on the white A: Oh, he took up a year of the number of the word to take up the B: you do not have a number of years of age A: no years of age is also better than you B: what? A: I was not born I retired B: not like that A: like that B: not born to retire ah? A: I'm ahead of schedule. B: You're still not as good as me. A: I'm still better than you. B: You see? I'm taller than you A: I'm a bit hunched, actually I'm taller than you B: I'm tall A: I'm tall B: I'm two meters six nine A: I'm three meters seventy-eight B: I'm a foot a day A: I'm a foot a night B: I'm as tall as the science building of the University of Fu A: Science Building is a half a head shorter than I am B: Airplanes fly from my waist here A: Satellites pass by from underneath me B: I'm tall A: I'm taller B: I've got a head in the sky, two feet on the ground A: Oops, this is not the end of the line? A: Aiya, this is not the end of the line? B: can not be higher A: that is still my high B: What? A: My upper lip is next to the sky, my lower lip is next to the ground B: Your upper lip is next to the sky, your lower lip is next to the ground? A: Have you ever seen such a tall person? B: What about your face? A: we bragging people are not face

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