5 lines of hiatus, 5 lines of speech, 1 humorous story, 1 wonderful dialogue, 1 comedy.

Whipped but not beaten--eat softly but not hard

The beaten dog bites the chicken--take it out on someone else

The beaten tortoise--shrinks its neck

The duck that gets a knife - scurrying

The one that gets a slap to make amends - slavishly flattering

Ma: Can't guess? I can't guess!

Kuo: Guess hard?

Ma: really can't guess? I'll tell you if you can't.

Kuo: Then you tell people.

Ma: My last name is Luo, and my name is Luo Chuan.

Kuo: You, you are enough nagging.

Ma: Hey~, yes, yes, yes, it's me.

Kuo: Hmm.

Ma: I'm looking for Wang to speak. Guo: Uh-huh. My fiancée!

Kuo: Oh.

Ma: Uh-huh. Hey, she's a woman.

Kuo: Nonsense! It's not a woman.

Ma: Don't get me wrong. Uh, okay. Thank you, I'll wait for her. Thumping the ground ......

Kuo: What, you want to sing? What are you looking at? What are you looking at?

Ma: What's wrong with you guys?

Kuo: What's going on?

Ma: Waiting to make a phone call?

Kuo: That's not true.

Ma: Oh, you, you go up there to call, okay? There's a phone over there, three stops on the tram.

Kuo: You let people call there?

Ma: Why do you have to call up there? I'm early here! I have to have four hours almost ah.

Kuo: good guy! He's got it all.

Ma: dead eyes! Hey, hey Wang ah! I'm a long-winded ah.

Kuo: Do not mention the name.

Ma: Hey, I'm looking for you. What's going on tonight? Nothing! Study? I'm not studying. No study. No meeting.

Kuo: All nonsense.

Ma: discuss? I don't talk about it.

Kuo: People are fine.

Ma: That's great, I'll treat you to an opera, okay?

Kuo: Uh-huh.

Ma: Tickets are bought, uh, Chang'an Theater. Downstairs, ten rows, number three, number five, we are next to each other.

Kuo: Yes.

Ma: Well, the price of the tickets? Eighty cents a ticket.

Kuo: Oh.

Ma: I bought two for a dollar and six, it was a dollar and six, I gave him five dollars, find me three dollars and four.

Kuo: Oh, he reported this.

Ma: Oh, huh? What's the play, guess.

Kuo: Why let people guess again?

Ma: Hmm? New play, no. The review of the play, no. Uh-huh? Yueju opera, hey~

Kuo: Right.

Ma: no.

Kuo: No, you hey what ah!

Ma: ah, really can not guess it? I can't guess, I'll tell you.

Kuo: You tell people.

Ma: Opera! I'm not sure if I'm going to tell you.

Kuo: What opera.

Ma: Liu Sanjie.

Kuo: Oh, Liu Sanjie.

Ma: I've never seen it, so check it out, it's great.

Kuo: Oh.

Ma: The accent is beautiful, and there's one part that I like the most. That's the one, that, that, aren't you okay now, Wang.

Kuo: What are you doing?

Ma: ah, you hold the phone, you pay attention to me to learn you ah.

Kuo: learn a lesson?

Ma: Hey, you a few surroundings and then wait a while ah.

Kuo: Hey.

Ma: Xiao Wang I'm starting to learn ah.

Kuo: Okay, you come on.

Ma: singing mountain song ah ~ this side to sing, that side red ~ mountain song is better than the spring river water ah ~ not afraid of the beach dangerous bend and more ah ~ Yo abet ~ Hey, Wang you see how I look like this expression?

Kuo: How can I see it?

Ma: Aigoo, right, what? What did you say? I didn't hear them applauding.

Kuo: Hey! Don't mention it.

Ma: You haven't eaten yet?

Kuo: Oh.

Ma: Aigoo, I'll prepare it for you.

Kuo: how to prepare ah?

Ma: I buy twelve cookies, I eat four, leave eight for you.

Kuo: Oh, kinda take care of her.

Ma: ah? Do not recognize? Chang'an theater ah! It is from your home, you ride all the way to the public **** car.

Kuo: Uh-huh.

Ma: Spend 10 cents, sit three stops. There are seats on the bus you sit, but if there are too many people, you stand!

Kuo: All nonsense!

Ma: Uh-huh. After you get off the bus, you look across the street.

Kuo: Uh-huh.

Ma: I'll wait for you at the third pole from the west.

Kuo: Oh.

Ma: OK? The show starts at a quarter to seven. I'll wait for you at seven. I'll wait for you at seven. Seven o'clock! I'll be there on time!

Kuo: Uh-huh.

Ma: Seven o'clock! Let's meet at... Hey, Wang what you do not come ah!

Kuo: Why don't you come?

Ma: It's half past eight!

Kuo: Hi~!

Respondent: 568848584 - 初入江湖 二二 3-28 12:26

The Cure for Cold and Flu》奇志大兵

B: All came ah! Let me introduce myself, I'm a doctor known far and wide here. Why am I so famous? Because I am different from other doctors, I am most considerate of patients. Patients who come to see me walk in and crawl out. (Waiting for the audience to finish laughing.) Oh, that's wrong, it's crawl in, walk out. The following start to see the patient ah, shouting a come in one. (Take a look at the list.) No. 1, surnamed Bai, cataracts. No. 2, Wei, stomach bleeding. No. 3, Niu, cow dermatitis. Come on, you three, first.

A: Doctor, I ...... I ......

B: How many you?

A: I'm number four.

B: The next batch.

A: the next ...... hey you say I this person how so unlucky ah? Never mind what things turn to me here is the next batch, a while ago our unit to promote a cadre, to me here is the "next batch". I will retire in the next batch. (Laughs) Introduce yourself, my last name single, that is, the single word alone, put the hundred surnames in the read good, the country of the country, Rui Xue's Rui, my name is single Guo Rui, the two days the body is not very comfortable, may be a cold, to the famous doctor this to take a look, I heard that this doctor, the patient is particularly responsible for the next should be shouted at me the number of the coming to come to come to the ......

B: the next ah ...... (a snuggle in the shoulders of B, B walk a step, A with a step) a look on the sick ah.

A: There is no disease to come here.

B: Next, a single breath.

A: (looking around) Who is called a single-mouth gasp?

B: What kind of uneducated parents would give such an ugly name?

A: There is only one breath left, you see.

B: still do not promise ...... do not promise me off work ah!

A: hey hey, that doctor me?

B: Oh here is another one, your number?

A: No. 4, you said my next batch of ......

B: You are a single mouth wheeze ah!

A: My name is Shan Guorui! Look closely!

B: Oh yeah, Shan Guorui.

A: What are you looking at? Shan Guo Rui look into the single mouth wheezing.

B: Shan Guorui! There is not comfortable ah?

A: I just cough, asthma.

B: No, not yet, single mouth wheeze.

A: Doctor, I heard that you here is particularly good condition, (look left and right) how nothing?

B: A single mouthful of gas. (A: Shan Guorui.) I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on this. You reckon, what's wrong with you?

A: I reckon, I'm ...... this still need to estimate it. I reckon I have a cold.

B: You are very smart! You said the cold is a cold, then also want me to do what ah? You are now talking to the famous doctor, anyone to my famous doctor here to re-examine.

A: Doctor, check it.

B: Don't move, open your mouth. (A ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah) Higher. (A higher pitch ah ah a little) (Repeat twice) a little higher.

A: Doctor, this is not a hospital, it is a conservatory!

B: What a thing to say!

A: I can sing on such a high note!

B: Who told you to sing up, I told you to lift your chin up. I can't see.

A: You've got to be more clear.

B: Come on, ah ah.

A: ah ~ ~

B: No wonder you ah so ugly! The ceiling is a bit moldy.

A: Doctor, you here is not really a conservatory, you are engaged in decoration.

B: You've said it twice!

A: Then how do you think I got a ceiling up here?

B: Here to see the doctor are called ceiling. (A: Upper jaw, Doc.) Oh yes, the palate. I'm a doctor and I don't know it's called the palate? (A: But I heard it as ceiling.) I'm afraid you won't understand when I say "palate", but I know what kind of education you have!

A: I'm not so lowly educated that I've lost some points here.

B: Come, come, tongue out. There's moss on it! I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but I'm sure it's a good idea.

A: leakage, usually outside the heavy rain, I here on the head of the small rain, I just pondered, I brain?

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Fantastic comic dialogues

Reward Points: 0 - Time to Solve: 2008-4-8 20:32

Who has the art of language: 1, comic, commentary or film and television drama wonderful dialogues; 2, hilarious sayings; 3, proverbs; 4, humorous stories; 5, Ancient and modern jokes; 6 advertising words.

Question by: purple ghost gem - 秀才 二 二 Best Answer

"moncler, how to go to America?" "Then who knows ah ...... ask the village chief to go!"

2 You louder does not cost electricity!

3 Later in the show do not go, eat to go - who go who pay.

4 The comedy is good! It's a great way to promote truth, goodness and beauty, and patchouli.

5 Old Mr. left the traditional comic total **** more than a thousand paragraphs, after our actors these years of continuous efforts it, up to now, there are still more than four hundred paragraphs left.

6 Listening to more comedy shows that you love your country. Our neighborhood has a child, will be seven or eight foreign languages, what English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslavian, North Slavic, West Slavic ...... Anyway, with the Eight-Power Allied Forces to sit together against the street scolding he can not repeat! Tell him you listen to the comedy go. "Don't go! I don't understand!" I'd have killed him if I didn't care about the law! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to understand it!

7 live in a house full of holes, a rain counted on the pro life: outside the small rain inside the rain, outside the heavy rain inside the storm, sometimes the rain is really too big, the whole family went to the street to avoid the rain.

8 If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury.

9 People are willing to listen to ah, is willing to listen to ah, or is willing to listen to ah, I will not force.

10 This dude robbed the bank and drove on the North Third Ring Road. At five-thirty in the afternoon! The police arrived at the time on the road blocked the porcelain.

11 Your shameless look is very much the charm of my year.

12 Ah? You don't know me? I'm an artist! I've been an artist for over a week.

13 Guo Degang: God, I hope there is peace in the world, and that the people of the world will live in peace and prosperity, and that there will be no wars, okay, hmm?

God thought, this is a little difficult, let's be honest, I'm not that capable, really really, I'm not talking to you about anything else, you're a different person, okay? Let's talk about something else.

It's a good thing that I have a photo of someone else with me, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to take a look at it.

God: (after thinking about it) Let's talk about world peace (tear the photo)

Guo Degang: Hey, how did you tear the photo, ah? You don't agree with it, tear it up for what, I still keep it to avoid the evil spirits!

14 Family money, open a 13 door Cadillac. A listen to the sound to know is a good machine, imported from Germany, "mutu mutu mutu", oh, three bouncer.

One open up, half of Beijing City, black smoke, traffic police straight at you shouted: "Sun Elder, put away the power of God."

15 From now on, I eat lobster no longer on the cake.

16 The grenade is expensive, if a dollar six, I first throw you a hundred dollars

17 This young man looks, the face blocked with an actor like ......

18 Well! This plane is just like a Daihatsu, with a rolling glass. ...... I can't take a Daihatsu or a Xiali. ...... There are no more Daihatsu in Tianjin, they are all going to the US ...... I've been flying to the U.S. for half a year and I've added more than 40,000 dollars to my gas tank.

19 Guo: How to do ah? I have too much money. I don't know how to spend it. Hey? Yu Qian, why don't I wrap you up!

Yu: package me?

Kuo: Ah... No... We have to pick our looks even if we're rich!

20 The birthday girl:: Jade Emperor Jade Emperor! ~There's something I need to do.

The Jade Emperor: What's wrong?

Life Star: Do you have a hammer and nails? Lend them to me. My deer chewed up the railing.

The Jade Emperor: The birthday boy, what did I tell you, it doesn't matter if you ride the deer, you have to feed it! ~

21 Guo Degang: once you come to take a good job, building a chimney of more than 70 meters!

Yu Qian: Not bad at all!

Guo Degang: I got up early and worked hard to finish the job, and then they came to accept it, and they wouldn't pay us for the work!

Yu Qian: The quality is not good?

Guo Degang: the beginning of the drawings to take down, people let repair a well!

22 Guo: Hey ~ ~ ~! Once there was a chance to make money in front of me, but I did not cherish. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do with this. If God gives me another chance, I want to say to the village chief: I'm willing to go. If I had to put a limit in front of that salary, I would want it to be 400 yuan.

23 It's cold, I sent you a coat, the post office said it was too heavy, so I hinged the buttons down and put it in my pocket.

24 There were twenty people standing in front of the White House, men and women, getting their pockets ready - reporters! I have to pay attention to speak, do not be caught by them what handle, lose the face of the Chinese. Down the road, this group of people all over: "Master to disk? "Sellers. You say that the White House Cultural Affairs Bureau are dry to eat.

25 -- Wen Shun, what do you have?

--My mom brought me some eggs.

- For me to eat.

--Not for ...... you guess, guess how many.

--I guess and you give me one.

--...... I'll give you both if you guess

--... .........5 one?

26 -- It's a false tooth

-- Get rid of it.

-- Don't throw it away, what a shame.

--What?

--Bolt on a small stick and use it as an itchy tickler.

27 "Today said this story ah, not far from now, there are old people at home can go back and ask - in the Spring and Autumn and Warring States period ah ......"

28 Flight 9014, from playing Xizhimen to Daxing Huangcun, the fare is 5 yuan, please board. You say how interesting it is. The stewardesses stand there have to shout, quickly on quickly on have big seats, have big seats. Guarantee you have a big seat!

29 So-and-so was born, his father fell ill, and when he came home, his mother was the most difficult. The first thing you need to do is to take care of your husband and your children. The first thing you need to do is to give this side of the child a feed, that side of the child a feed, a feed, a feed, a feed, a feed, a feed, a feed, a feed, a feed, a feed. Feed the baby, feed the medicine, feed the baby, feed the medicine, feed the medicine, feed the baby, feed the medicine, feed the milk. The father is very strong, this child ate the wrong medicine.

30 Withered vines, old trees and crows, small bridges and flowing homes. Ancient road west wind thin horse, the setting sun, broken hearted people ...... in the hospital, ...... intestines are broken still not to go to the hospital! ...... I am the first master of tampering with Tang poetry and Song lyrics.

31 The law-abiding dynasty is worried, strong beams night and night song, the detriment of people riding horses and mules, upright and fair starvation. The bridge and the road are blind, and there are a lot of killings and fires, so I went to the west and asked my Buddha, and he said, "I can't help it!

32 "The moonlight in front of the bed, suspected to be frost on the ground, raise your head and look at the moon, (snap! I'm Guo Degang. I'm very pleased to see a lot of people here, thank you for coming. Don't leave the theater later, let's eat. Whoever goes pays. Twenty for the comedy, sixteen thousand. Laugh again plus money."

33 "We are in love with TV comedy. Why? It's easy to say! The director arranged for someone to lead the applause. Once on stage, 'Today', wow-, 'We', wow-. 'for everyone', wow--, 'to say a piece of comedy', wow--, ' Sound', wow. (Crack jokes: one word at a time!) 'Say a bad', wow--, say a bad also applauded!

34 Yu Qian: left a tooth is still stuffed

Guo Degang: he ate lotus root, set in the eye!

Yu Qian: Hi ~ ~

35 "I am a rich man. Today's backstage, I drove here, they all walked, Tianjin, the few old gentlemen, playing last Tuesday went out. But my car ah, recently a little problem, speed a little slow. At first, I thought the carburetor was dirty, a check ah realize, is the pedal fell ......"

36 "That who who can eat, day and night to see who are like pancakes, nothing pancakes rolled steamed buns with rice to eat, that thing is solid, to carry the When. Sometimes come backstage, slipped two pounds of cake ready to drink with ......"

37 "Alas, you have a problem with this mouth".

38 Hooligans will martial arts, block can not be blocked! Scientists know martial arts, no one can stop them!

39 It's killing me!

40 How can I describe his appearance to you? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a good baked potato, which is too hot to hold in your hand, and then accidentally drop it on the ground, and then run a child, wearing a nailed shoe, and step on the potato. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots.

41 I want to fight against the vulgarity.

42 You're very vulgar - but I like it.

43. "Instead of smashing the vegetables and pinching them, I'm going to kill them, your grandchildren!"

This is the first time I've seen you in a movie, and I'm not sure if you've seen me in a movie!

44 This day I came with prejudice in the train station, tickets are sold out, prejudice to a police officer asked: "Do you know where the ticket sellers?" The policeman was happy to hear: "I'm still looking for it!"

45 I want to commit suicide, intend to jump off the building, this jumping I have research, the 2nd floor and the 20th floor is not the same, the 2nd floor is "snap", "ah", the 20th floor is "ah ~~~~ """啪"

46.Hearing the news of your father's death, neighbors cried into a piece: "Such a good man ah, die late!"

47. Midnight more than twelve o'clock, the two old men bare ass on the street, but also Li Jing still wear a glasses - if you wear a mask counts three points.

48. down two nurses, how beautiful ah: a meter seven tall, sideburns beard, a slap wide heart hair.

49. Yu Qian's father - Master Wang.

50. Li Jing has a cousin, wearing high heels tiptoe can walk to the bottom of the Charade, look too shabby ah, she that picture pasted on the door to avoid evil spirits, pasted on the bed

51.