What is the core value of family education?

Children don't really lose at the starting line; We can only lose the patience, confidence and peace of mind of our parents. So what is the core value of family education? The following are the core values of family education brought by Bian Xiao. I hope you like it!

The Core Value of Family Education

Children are the miracle and secret of life. Our understanding of children is far from reaching the level of the external world and the material world; At the same time, the current family education in China is in a serious crisis. In the current large-scale urbanization process, tens of millions of left-behind children have lost their parents' support and guardianship. Another fact is that in most healthy families, the function of family education has been alienated. In our era of great education and lifelong education, education is narrowly equated with "school education", school education is narrowly defined as knowledge education, and knowledge education is distorted into exam-oriented training. As a result, family education has become an extension of school discipline education, and parents' alienation has become a sparring partner of exam-oriented education, which has evacuated the basic value of family education.

Let's pay attention to a phenomenon. Unlike many parents today, many celebrities and great men have quite low expectations for their children. In fact, most celebrities become well-educated civilians and various professionals.

From the perspective of civic education, Tao Xingzhi called this educational goal to cultivate "capable people" in order to resist the traditional education of pursuing Excellence, learning for officials and being "capable people". Unfortunately, due to the reality of the only child, the unrealistic goal of "expecting the son to succeed" and "expecting the daughter to succeed" has become a natural and reasonable "inheritance wind". However, if most of us have to be civilians but don't want to be civilians, will we have a good life if we are freed from the underground? Isn't it a more practical goal to be the best of yourself?

Some people will question: if you are willing to be mediocre, how can the "elite" needed by society be produced? In my opinion, the real elite is not the product of narrow knowledge education and exam-oriented competition in essence, nor will it be produced in the "high-end luxury" material environment far away from society and the public and from life and practice. Greatness lies in the ordinary, which is not out of date. Only by being down-to-earth and caring about the civilian values and lives of ordinary people can we produce a real elite, with basic qualities such as social responsibility, love and compassion, integrity, rationality, perseverance, tolerance and cooperation, great thoughts and wisdom, and be able to take responsibility and be "broad-minded".

The failure lessons of many families can in turn reveal the truly important value of family education. When a child finally goes to prison for breaking the law and committing crimes, enters the hospital under heavy pressure, or even goes astray and dies, those "failed parents" will often regret it and restore their truest wish: they can go to Tsinghua Peking University, and the test scores are actually not that important, as long as the child is still alive, as long as the child is healthy, and as long as the child can work and live normally like ordinary people! This is indeed the most basic and important goal of family education.

For children, physical health and mental health are undoubtedly the most important. "Body first" is not an empty talk, which is reflected in improving children's sports interest, sports ability and sports habits, and loving outdoor activities. It is also meaningful that children who love outdoor activities and are healthy tend to be psychologically healthier. We know that there are such children, who are polite, United and cooperative, cheerful, and have strong working ability and practical ability. "Everything is good except poor study." Their cheerful and optimistic personality is a "secret weapon" to overcome the setbacks of exam-oriented education and heal themselves, which will bring them good luck all their lives. This is the so-called "character determines fate".

In addition, it is to pay attention to children's "spiritual growth" and cultivate their interest in reading and exploring. It is very important for children to become attached to books since childhood. When a child likes reading and is friends with books, education is half done; Because good children's books are children's "spiritual breast milk", they will lay the foundation for children's "spiritual heritage" and affect their lifelong growth. We see too many children crushed by exams. They often complain that the burden is too heavy and they have no leisure time to do what they like. But if you really give him three days to arrange for himself, you will find that he actually has no books and things he wants to read, and he doesn't know what to do except doing his homework, and his spirit is blank.

Children's spiritual development and personality growth also include forming their own hobbies. This is the most distressing thing for parents today: should children go to extra-long classes to learn piano, painting, English and Olympics? If you don't learn, will you "lose at the starting line"? Art education plays an important role in character cultivation. The so-called "children who learn piano will not learn badly" should be paid attention to. The key is to proceed from children's interests and conditions, let nature take its course, and teach students in accordance with their aptitude, rather than imposing it on others. Forcing a child who loves painting to learn piano can't have a good result. But children are fickle, and hobbies will change. Should they be forced to stick to it? This requires a specific analysis of each child's situation and should not be generalized. In the most ideal situation, what parents can do for their children is to provide as relaxed an environment as possible for their growth, and in this process, identify and understand their real hobbies and habits, and guide and cultivate them.

Another problem is the study that conforms to children's characteristics. Professor Chen Lin of Beijing Foreign Studies University put it well on the question of how old to learn English: any age is ok, and the key is to learn English that suits children's characteristics, such as nursery rhymes and spoken English in games. The most important thing in early childhood education is not knowledge and skills, but carefully protecting and nourishing their imagination and curiosity. Unfortunately, many of our early education aims at cultivating "little adults" who are eager for quick success and instant benefit, and at obliterating and destroying children's childlike innocence and creativity. There are many ways for children's personality development and healthy growth, not only through reading and art education, but also through playing and interacting with children of the same age, through entering and loving nature, and so on.

Nine Family Education Concepts

1, there are no bad kids in the world.

Naughty boys are good, naughty girls are smart. In the eyes of an excellent parent, there are no bad children in the world, only children who are eager to be recognized, encouraged and appreciated by adults.

In family education, the more encouragement you give your children, the more confident they will be. On the contrary, the more self-abased. In the family, parents must not favor a child according to their own preferences, because it is very likely that the child will have a psychological shadow from an early age, which will eventually lead to "social exclusion."

2. Learn from your children.

The "figurative culture" (the culture in which two generations learn from each other) and the "post-figurative culture" (the culture in which the older generation learns from the new generation) described by anthropologist margaret mead are increasingly appearing in our lives. Children are born in a new era, grow up in a new era, and have natural adaptability to changing times.

Researchers in the Media Laboratory of Massachusetts Institute of Technology put forward "taking children as teachers" and advocated changing the previous educational concept. Third, learning from children does not mean that adults are naive, on the contrary, it marks the maturity and wisdom of adults. Learn from children and two generations will grow together.

3. The premise of educating children is to understand them.

Psychologists have found that children worship their parents before 10, despise their parents before 20, understand their parents before 30, and love their parents before 40. They didn't really know their parents until they were 50 years old.

It can be seen that the period from 10 to 20 years old is the most intense period of intergenerational conflict, and the most important psychological phenomenon is the strengthening of "self-awareness". They yearn for independence and fail repeatedly, and often look at their parents and society with harsh and even provocative eyes. The reasons for the intergenerational gap between parents and children are as follows: first, the gap in the level of psychological development between the two generations; Second, the gap between the two generations in knowledge, life experience and adaptability to new technologies.

Therefore, if a child does something incomprehensible between the ages of 10-20, parents should not immediately question or reprimand him, but should calmly think: Is the child's behavior reasonable? If it lacks rationality, why? If parents often think like this, they can easily understand their children, and understanding children is the way to success in education.

4. Respect for children's rights

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child stipulates that children's rights to survival, development, protection and participation in family and social life should be respected. Maybe you can't sit still after reading these rights. Such a small child has so many rights, who can discipline him? In fact, a person who cherishes rights is more educated than a person who doesn't, because all children's rights are teaching children how to be human. When parents respect their children's rights and guide them to cherish their rights, truly beneficial education can begin.

5. Without trust, there is no education.

Psychological research proves that only 1.07% of children aged 0- 14 are mentally retarded, that is to say, 98.93% of children do not have intellectual problems, but have problems of loving learning, being able to learn and being diligent. Even 1.07% of mentally retarded children will make progress in different degrees after proper training and enthusiastic encouragement.

When your child's performance in a certain aspect is not ideal, please trust your child. Children are also suffering, and children are willing to study hard. The child has the ability to achieve what he wants. This kind of trust is very important, it can give children spiritual encouragement and calm down in the face of setbacks. "Bad boy" is always a taboo for parents. On the contrary, you should definitely say to your child, "You are a good boy!" This is an educational thought that is more in line with children's psychological development. Facts show that there is no real education without trust.

6. Appreciation leads to success, and complaining leads to failure.

In real life, there are more complaints than appreciation, which is an important reason for the failure of education. Because complaining that education recognizes children's differences and does not allow failure, children are afraid of failure and the differences expand; Appreciation education recognizes differences, affirms differences among children, and affirms children's strengths and a little progress. As a result, the difference narrowed and disappeared.

7. Reduce children's dependence

The survey found that only 45.9% of the only children thought they were "responsible" and only 40.3% thought they were "independent and independent". In other words, more than half of the only children are more dependent. Where does the child's sense of dependence come from? Generally speaking, it is related to parents' doting. The more places parents arrange, the more dependent their children are. On the contrary, if parents encourage their children to do their own things, their dependence will be greatly reduced.

8. Make children responsible for their mistakes.

Cultivating children's sense of responsibility from an early age is one of the basic contents of cultivating the only child's healthy personality, with special emphasis on the handling of children's faults. Generally speaking, when a child is at fault, it is a good opportunity for education, because guilt and anxiety make him eager for success. At this time, the truth he understands may be unforgettable. Therefore, no matter what fault the child has, as long as he has certain ability, he should bear the responsibility. This is the true love of modern parents.

9. Managing independence through groups

Many only children have a certain loneliness tendency. Although they feel lonely at home, they are unwilling to associate with others and participate in group activities. Occasionally associate with people or participate in group activities, acting unnatural, not devoted, or even at a loss.