What are the responsibilities of parents to their children in the parent-child relationship?

By ＼Hung Chung-ching, Clinical Psychologist

What are the responsibilities of parents to their children?

This is a big and difficult question to answer completely, so I will briefly describe it in three levels for the time being. Perhaps each of us has our own way of categorizing them, and there are no absolutes, but it's important to use the self-talk we develop as we read to better understand the nature of the parent-child relationship to help us in our lives.

The first level of responsibility: management.

Parents first run a physically existing household, and basic resource allocation is not done well, and the division of labor between each other is not clear, which affects the smooth functioning of the household. If there are children, how much that child is capable of, and how much performance the parent expects the child to put forth to assist the family as a whole, is one of the items of business management.

A home must first be able to sustain itself, including economically, safely, and spatially, and is the background vein for family members' lives. In times of turmoil, it is particularly difficult to run and manage a family. Even in modern affluent societies, not every family has an acceptable level of financial sustenance.

Recommended reading: Parents have a responsibility to teach their children, how to 'speak well'!

The second level of responsibility: supervised care.

Parents have a legal role as guardians, and are jointly and severally liable for the misbehavior of their minor children. In addition, parents have a duty to keep their children safe and to uphold their human rights.

At this point, when the child is not yet capable of self-protection, it is the parent's responsibility to limit the child's rights in order to maintain the child's safety. Filtering who the child interacts with, choosing where the child learns, and stopping the child from taking too many risks are all common parts of parent-child interactions.

The third level of responsibility: educational independence.

Many traditional parents, in fact, only manage, not educate, as far as my definition goes. Management is making the family workable, the foundation on which a family is built, and most of all, that everyone can live. But education is expecting children to have the confidence to leave the home, as well as the ability to survive in society on their own.

Family education has always been fundamental to the development of a child's character, and the very teaching of the parents greatly influences the character of the child. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to educate themselves before educating their children. Of course, it is difficult to force everyone to become a parent because they have different starting points and different resourcefulness.

Recommended reading: Teaching money concepts to children at their own age, turning everyday life into a learning experience

At this level, taking the time to interact with your child, responding to your child's questions about the world, encouraging your child to participate in discussions, and bringing your child to face his frustrations and grow in courage. A parent's willingness to explore the unknown with the child, to recognize the emotions of both parent and child, and to provide psychological nourishment, gives the child a sense of belonging and a sense of connection and love.