Daughter-in-law and husband husband quarreled because he asked us for money

As the saying goes, "filial piety is the first of a hundred good things", "honor your parents at home, why bother to burn incense far away", filial piety and respect for the elderly the traditional virtues of the Chinese nation. At present, the old age of new problems. Today's society, has long entered the aging society, as of November 1, 2011, China's mainland population aged 60 years and over 178 million, accounting for 13.26% of the country's total population; now is the market economy, people are busy with work and livelihood, it is rare to have free time to spend with the elderly; in the vast majority of rural areas, young people go out to work, left behind are the elderly and children; worse, in the countryside, there are many What's more, in rural areas, there are many cases of abandonment, refusal to support and abuse of the elderly. Elderly people have given all they have to their families and society, and in their old age, they deserve to be provided for, to be materially and spiritually protected and satisfied. Therefore, in the current situation of family pension is still the main pension mode in most areas, how to carry forward the traditional "filial piety" culture, solve the problem of filial piety and respect for the elderly, so that the elderly to spend their twilight years in peace, is very meaningful.

The first step in filial piety is to support the elderly, that is, to give protection from the material life. This is more important in the majority of rural areas, a large number of rural elderly groups can not enjoy the retirement pension treatment, life lack of basic social security. In reality, part of the son or daughter of the heavy profit and forget the love, only money is the map, family and friendship have become ruthless, in the support of parents, siblings shirking each other, the old man seems to have become a burden on the children. Parents raise their children hard, day and night labor, they can not afford to eat and wear and try to meet the needs of children, children are not only sparing no effort, and even overdraw their energy, physical strength, not to mention material resources, children go out to work, but also for the grandchildren to pay for the blood, it is true that the silkworms to the death of silk, the wax torch into ashes and tears began to dry. Who said that the heart of grass, to repay the three spring sunshine. When children become adults, they should think of the feelings of birds and beasts feeding back, and do their best to take care of both parents, to protect the material needs of parents who have lost their ability to work, so that they can spend their twilight years in peace. Nurturing one's parents is the most basic meaning of filial piety. Nurturing one's parents is filial piety, and not doing so is unfiliality. In fact, the Chinese elderly in the material life is very easy to satisfy, they are y marked by the Chinese people thrifty brand, they pay the most for the child, and ask for the least from the child, which is really unique Chinese characteristics.

Secondly, the key to filial piety and respect for parents is "respect". The real filial piety is not only limited to make the parents free of food and clothing, but more importantly, in the process of support can always be consistent, respect for parents, and pleasant, hard work. Mencius says, "The most important thing for a filial son is to honor his parents." The Da Dai Li Ji says, "There are three levels of filial piety: the first is to honor one's parents; the second is not to insult them; and the second is to be able to support them." Honoring one's relatives is the highest level of filial piety. Because "sheep have the grace of kneeling at the breast, and crows have the righteousness of feeding", only material support can only be considered as the next filial piety, so we must insist on supporting our parents to achieve both support and respect. Confucius said that when it comes to filial piety and respect for parents, it is assumed that it is only material sustenance, and people can not lack of material sustenance when they raise dogs and horses, "How can we be different if we do not honor them?"

Filial piety and respect for parents, both to do their best and always hang on to them. To always be concerned about their health, "parents only worry about their illness", "parents of the year, can not be unknown, one is to be happy, one is to be afraid." That is, on the one hand for their longevity and health and happy, on the other hand for their old age and decay and even gradually towards the end of life and fear. In this sense, it is necessary to perform filial piety in a timely manner so as not to leave behind the lifelong regret of "the son wants to raise his parents, but they are not waiting for him".

To honor one's parents, one must be able to respect their wishes and serve them with respect. In the words of Confucius, this means "no disobedience". "No violation" means not going against the wishes of one's parents, but also not violating the rules of etiquette and serving one's parents in accordance with the rules of etiquette. Even if one's parents have made mistakes, one should advise them politely in a proper manner and method. Even if admonition fails, one should remain respectful to one's parents, not resent them, and wait until a convenient time to enlighten them. This is what is meant by the saying, "When parents are admonished, if they do not follow the advice, they should be respectful and not disobey them, and they should not complain".

To honor your parents, you need to understand and be considerate of them. In today's competitive era, when the children's pressure is very high, work is very busy, even so, the children also need to take time to go home more often to see their parents, "something, the disciple to serve their labor", (here the "disciple" is the meaning of the children), nothing, then accompany the elderly to talk about The parents "have something to do," (here "disciple" is the meaning of children), nothing, then accompany the elderly to talk, relieve boredom, eat a reunion meal, to the joy of a harmonious atmosphere to comfort them as fragile as a child and lonely heart. Children must not act recklessly or speak out of turn. Even if they do something wrong, but also should be "respect and not against", not to mention the parents of the words in many cases is still very reasonable.

Honoring one's parents should be done by burying them and sacrificing them. Confucius advocated that funerals should be characterized by grief and not by wastefulness.

Thirdly, "Therefore, when there is injustice, then the son cannot help but fight against his father."

As mentioned earlier, the key to filial piety and respect for parents lies in "respect" and "obedience", and here there is a question, if the parents' views are fundamentally wrong, neither reasonable nor legitimate, the children should be obedient? Confucianism gives a clear answer, no. The Xunzi records this. Xunzi records an incident in which Duke Ai of Lu asked Confucius, "Is it filial piety for a son to follow his father's order? Is it filial piety for a son to follow his father's orders, or is it chastity for a subject to follow the orders of the ruler?" He asked him three times, but Confucius did not answer. When Confucius came out, he told Zigong about it. Zigong said, "If a son follows his father's order, he is filial; if a minister follows his king's order, he is chaste. Why doesn't the teacher answer?" Confucius was so dissatisfied with Zigong's statement that he went so far as to scold Zigong: "Little man, give no knowledge. In the past, when there were four contending ministers in a ten-thousand-horsepower state, the fiefdom would not be cut down; when there were three contending ministers in a thousand-horsepower state, the state would not be jeopardized; when there were two contending ministers in a hundred-horsepower house, the ancestral temple would not be destroyed. If a father fights for his son, he will not be rude; if a scholar fights for his friend, he will not be unrighteous. Therefore, if a son follows his father, how can he be filial? If a minister follows a ruler, why is the minister chaste? To examine the reason why he follows is called filial piety, and it is also called chastity." Confucius's last sentence is the central idea, but also more difficult to understand, and then explain to emphasize, the meaning is to carefully analyze why to listen to, that is, depending on the specific circumstances, the right to listen to, the wrong to reject, which is filial piety and chastity.