Does anyone have any more classic jokes? (Urgently needed)

Da Lee buys a parrot, and when he first enters the house, he eagerly teases the bird to talk.

"Yours, speech?" Dali stretched his neck to tease. The parrot didn't respond.

"Yours, speech, mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey-mickey." Dali chucked up a bug to lure it. The parrot still didn't respond.

"Yours, don't speak, die die die!" Dali threatened with a taut face.

Suddenly, the parrot's neck shot up and he shouted, "Down with Japanese imperialism!"

Some people had a parrot that was very aggressive. One day, the owner put one of the family's chicks in its cage.

The parrot and the chicken fought, and the chicken died, but the parrot was not hurt at all, and said, "That's underestimating me!"

After some time, the owner got an eagle and put it in its cage, and the eagle died, but the parrot's fur was gone,

Then it spoke again, "Damn, I can't beat it without a bare bladder!"

Small X especially liked parrots. One day he went to skate the bird market and found a parrot selling for 30,000 yuan.

He was curious, so he asked the buyer: Why is your parrot so expensive? Buyer: My parrot is smart! It can say anything.

Small X bought it as soon as he heard it was so smart.

When he got home at night, he was very happy. And fiddled with the parrot.

Small x said: I can walk

Parrot learns: I can walk

Small x said: I can run

Parrot learns: I can run

Small x thought, this is not smart ah, but not dead, and said: I can fly

This will be the parrot said: you blow NB it!

There was a bird lover who loved parrots, and one day he passed a bird store where a parrot was being auctioned off.

He looked at the parrot's beautiful fur and decided he wanted to buy it, so he yelled, "I'm willing to pay 10 dollars for this parrot!"

Then a voice answered, "I'll pay $100 dollars!"

The bird lover didn't want to give the parrot away, so he called for another $150 ......

But the other voice acted like it was against him, and didn't stop until the bird lover called for $200 ......

The man was happy to buy the parrot, but he suddenly thought: I spent so much money to buy this parrot, if it can't talk then won't I lose a lot of money?

So he went to the owner and asked, "Boss ...... do you know if this parrot can talk?"

Then he heard the parrot yell, "Can't talk? Who do you think was just yelling at you for 100 dollars?"

A bird dealer had three parrots. A customer comes over to look at them and points to the first parrot and asks the price.

"$1,000."

The bird dealer said.

The customer was surprised, "That expensive?"

"Of course, because it uses Windows."

"What about this one?" The customer pointed to a second one.

"2000, because it will use LUNIX"

"Oh, and the third one?"

"3000. it will ......?

"The bird merchant shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I don't know what it will be."

He pointed to the first two parrots, which the two of them called 'President'

A man was walking down the street and saw a merchant selling parrots. He saw that the parrot was beautiful and asked the merchant if the parrot could talk.

The merchant said: "Of course! I don't believe you. You hold its right foot."

The man held the parrot's right foot as he was told. Only to hear the parrot say very clearly : "Hello! Hello!"

The man was so happy that the merchant said: "Shake its left foot again."

The man shook the parrot's left foot again, and heard the parrot say clearly: "Bye, bye ......"

The man was even happier. Immediately bought the parrot home was overjoyed. A moment to touch the parrot's left foot, a moment to touch the parrot's right foot.

The parrot also obediently said: "Goodbye. Hello.

Suddenly he had a thought: what would it say if I held both feet together?

He took hold of the parrot's feet.

He heard the parrot say loudly: "Kao! You want to drop me to my death!"

A delivery van full of hens was traveling with a male driver with a parrot.

Suddenly, the driver notices a beautiful woman on the side of the road waving at him and stopping his car. The driver was happy to give the beautiful woman a ride.

After the van had been gone for a while, the driver asked, "Pretty girl, is a kiss okay?" The beautiful woman said no;

The driver asked again, "Beautiful woman, can you give me a hug?" The beautiful woman said no.

The driver said, "If you can't, get off!" And drove the beauty out of the van.

After the van had gone for a while, the driver felt that it was not right to treat the beauty in this way, so he drove the car back and invited the beauty to get into the car again.

After getting into the car, the driver repeated the same trick, and did so three times in a row.

At the destination, the driver was surprised to find that his car full of chickens was almost empty!

Only to see his parrot lifted up a chicken and asked, "Beauty kiss a little bit?" , "Will a pretty girl touch it?"

When the chicken answered no, no, no, the parrot said, "Get off if you can't!" And threw the chicken out of the car.

Such a car chicken was parrot to learn his way to throw almost

One person to take the plane, to the stewardess to ask for a bottle of mineral water, how to wait is not coming, is chagrined,

heard behind someone shouted: "I want XO

It? I don't think I'm going to be able to find a way to get my hands on it." I thought to myself, "Who's so fucking awesome?

Turning around, I saw a parrot. Only to see the stewardess bumbling, said, "Sorry, will be right there."

Sure enough, immediately took a bottle of XO to, who knows the parrot and shouted: "Go to your mother, you girl ears, I fucking want mineral water, looking for death you guys!"

The stewardess said, "I'm sorry, I'll give you a change right away." This person thought: the original they are afraid of horizontal ah,

So stood up and rushed to the stewardess shouted: "I CAO your mother, I fucking want to mineral water when you guys Ya bring, looking for me to abolish you it! Grandma!"

The stewardess said, "Please wait a moment." A moment, the stewardess brought a big strong over, the stewardess pointed, "That's him!" The big strong man then threw the man out of the plane.

The man thought to himself as he descended, "I'm a big man, but I don't have the face of a parrot," and the more he thought about it, the more he rubbed his face with fire.

Suddenly, he saw the parrot was also thrown down, the parrot passed by him and said: "You don't know how to fly, but still so bull B?"

There is a restaurant in front of the door of a parrot, every time the guests come in and say "welcome"

A lady found out that a parrot is a member of the family of the parrot, and she said "welcome" to the parrot.

A lady found the parrot very interesting, went in and then came out, and went in again, the parrot politely said to her "Welcome"

The lady was not willing to come back again, the parrot is still very polite to her "Welcome"

The lady was interested in the parrot, but she said "Welcome"

The parrot said "Welcome" to her.

The lady got interested and repeated the same thing again

This time the parrot got impatient and shouted to the inner room: "Boss, come on, there's a lady playing with your bird!

One of the parrots would post in the forum, and after posting, no one would reply.

So it told its companion: "Alas, people nowadays can only read, but not reply to the post, they have already degraded, and it is not as good as us parrots".

One of the parrots would post in the forum, and the other parrot would post in the forum.

The other parrot said: nothing, they have been your posting laughed at the mouth, is on the way to the hospital to see the doctor to go ！！！！