Seven beds "six men and one woman"

? 1997 One evening in the twelfth lunar month, a tricycle carried a pregnant woman and a young man to the People's Liberation Army Hospital more than 20 miles away from home. It's not far, it's a little dark, but it will arrive soon, but the doctor said, "You need an emergency caesarean section. If you can't do it here, you need to be transferred." In desperation, he turned around and went to the maternal and child health hospital more than ten miles away.

? The operation went smoothly, and suddenly, with a bang, the operating room was shrouded in darkness. "Oh, no, the power is out." "The family went to buy a flashlight."

Young man, run all the way to buy a flashlight.

"Wow" and "This is a treasure" are going well.

? That's how I was born.

? ""honey, you know, there were seven delivery operations and seven beds in the hospital that night, and you were the only girl, but dad loved you! "This is what I saw when I went through my dad's notebook. At that time, I had mixed feelings and couldn't say it.

? My family is in the countryside, my parents are in love with my younger brother and sister, and my mother married my father at the age of 26. Blind date also belongs to the traditional concept of the family. At that time, 26 years old was an older woman, and it was shameful not to get married. My mother is six years older than my father, so she blames her bad marriage on the age gap and my grandfather's urging. Grandparents are also old-fashioned. They prefer boys to girls, and they didn't even go to the hospital to see me when I was born. Grandpa only left one sentence, "If it is a boy, I will never let him cry." Listen, what a ridiculous and sad speech.

Therefore, my mother spent the rest of her marriage time on having children and raising them.

My sister and I are five years old, and I am also the oldest child in my family. I was taken to my grandmother's house from birth. Grandma treats me, and grandpa is a veteran? Very strict, we seldom communicate, and there is a sheep whip at home. He will punish us.

? (2)

? As long as I can remember, my parents have appeared in my world, and my impression is that I am in the fifth grade. It is strange that when my companions are so few and I am a stranger, I need them so strongly. I think it's because it's hard to rely on others.

I secretly eat monosodium glutamate when I don't eat at home. Yes, it's monosodium glutamate in cooking. When I am hungry, I will pour some monosodium glutamate into my palm and lick it with my tongue one by one. It feels particularly delicious! Of course, my parents will come to see me when they are not busy and buy me new clothes and schoolbags.

I remember once, I had to follow them. They thought of a broken way to let my cousins hang me upside down in the street so that I wouldn't follow them if I couldn't see them. After they left, I cried from noon to night. My uncle's wife wouldn't listen, so she forced a towel into my mouth to keep quiet. "Too worried" is a common saying. Therefore, I also added a nickname "sloppy"

In 2008, I finally graduated from primary school, and I can transfer back to my "longing home". The more yearning, the stronger the expectation will be, and often the desire in the heart will not be reached. Parents have been working on the construction site for a long time, and their lives are not tight. But I can't stand my dad's extravagance.

Junior high school life naturally became a resident student. Being at school from Monday to Friday and attending boarding classes on Saturday and Sunday is not as good as my life at my grandmother's house. Without my parents' company since I was a child, my inferiority complex spontaneously made me feel tired of learning. I have a bad stomach since I was a child, and I often eat in class, which leads to stomachache. After I called many times to urge, my parents came to see me in spite of their busy schedules. The final conclusion is that I am melodramatic and the food is ok. It's also my fault that I have a lot of things and love to toss people.

I made up my mind to quit school and run away from home. Before that, I was so eager for the warmth of home. I became more and more rebellious, and became a bad teenager at school, surfing the Internet all night and skipping classes. Then I ran away from school with a classmate. We found a small restaurant that was willing to hire child labor and started washing dishes and serving food. The boss said to give us 350 yuan a month and sleep in the grocery store upstairs at night. That was my happiest life. Sometimes I even think the boss is a good man, who treats me better than my parents. In the evening, we will also run downstairs to get drinks. Sometimes I worry that my family will find me, burn incense for Mr. Guan in the shop and let him stay here for a lifetime.

Soon, my family found me, but two weeks later, my father drove to pick me up. He is very calm, not angry, don't try so hard, don't feel bad, just on the way lightly ask:

Is dad a bad dad in your heart?

? I cried, but only one sentence made me forgive your crime. I can't insist on breaking away from them and tearing up the household registration book so that my name has nothing to do with you anymore. But at that time, I was just a child and couldn't beat them, so I transferred to another school. I became more and more rebellious. I fight at school, and I fight with my teacher. I just want them to notice me. There is nothing my family can do. If I still drop out of school, I won't study in junior high school.

? (3)

The days when I dropped out of school and stayed at home were boring and horrible. I found that some strangers would come to my house gradually. I didn't know what was going on at that time. I only see that my parents will count something with their household registration books. Sometimes, they even close the door and tell us not to make any noise. Later, I learned that my gambling-addicted father had already owed hundreds of thousands. I don't know, I just know that he is often away from home, and sometimes he will come back in the early morning, and then there is an increasingly fierce quarrel between his parents, the broken furniture, and their crazy roar. I have long been used to it, even when they quarrel, I cross my legs and watch TV.

I hate them, I hate that they are not good parents, and what I hate most is my dad, whose beautiful life has been ruined by him! He once threatened that "mahjong is not our family's."

Not one person can say it. I hate my mother too. Why don't I leave him cruelly and wipe my ass for the shit he has done again and again? Including myself! because

? One day, my mother cried and said to me, "Do you want to go out to play? Where do we stay in Xinjiang for two months to pick cotton and earn pocket money? "

Don't lie to me. I have been very sensitive since I was a child. I know what happened. The family was heavily in debt and could not stay, but agreed. I am as weak as my mother, burdened with the sin owed by my bad father!

? That year, I was 13 years old. It took me a long time to take the long-distance train. It took me two nights to reach a deserted place, a few tin houses and endless cotton fields. So I started my first job. I actually bent down to pick cotton like an adult. I forgot what month it was. I only know that the temperature difference between morning and evening is large, and it is baked at noon and cold at night. In the evening, I have to walk for half an hour to get back to my place. You can eat a bowl of Laoganma white flour and sleep in peace. It's annoying to pee anywhere in the toilet, which makes me sick!

? Two months later, I earned about 8000 yuan, and we went back. I am also malnourished because of this experience. I am black and thin, and I haven't menstruated for several months.

When I don't hate them very much, I even have an idea of getting ahead. My inner world is too rich and I think too much. While being negative, convince yourself to let go and cherish the people around you.

? (4)

? I grew up in the blink of an eye, thinking that life will always get better, and endless forbearance can only be exchanged for a bottomless pit. This time, my father changed to usury and borrowed money to gamble. I divorced them once. I don't need such a person to be my father! But my mother is always indifferent, saying that it is not him who can't let go, but our sister, afraid that we are pitiful and nobody cares. This sentence is still very contradictory when I think about it now.

Later, my dad often contacted me on his mobile phone and asked me to give him money with some disgusting and pitiful words. I know what he is going to do. I have given it many times, but I still don't know why I am willing to give it.

I hate him in my heart, but I can't stand his pathetic appearance. Maybe I feel sorry for him, too. After all, even I hate him. Although he is a failed father, I remember that it rained when he was a child. The way he went behind my back to see a doctor in the rain made me laugh, and he cried every time I thought about it. He can obviously be a good father.

As he wrote in his diary: "Baby, do you know that there were seven delivery operations and seven beds in the hospital that night? You are the only girl, but dad loves you!" " "

? Perhaps, at the moment when he wrote these words and looked at the moment when I was born, these words looked so beautiful and warm, but they were all destroyed by him later.

People always have to pay for what they have done. Now my father is middle-aged and old, and he is still playing mahjong. He occasionally asks me for some small money. His attitude is becoming more and more modest, and sometimes I will take the initiative to transfer it to him. That I can't see his attitude anymore, and I feel uncomfortable.

Anime Bojack Johnny Ma once said, "Sometimes, home is a stinking puddle, so jump out when you need it."

? I think I have thought about this question many times, and I tried it when I was a child, but I also persisted. Things need people to solve. Keep a clear-headed and upward attitude to look at the problem, and maybe you will get different results!

Now my sisters are all grown up. Many times, it is very comfortable for a family to sit together. I don't think I can take much. Just my heart and my passion. It's hard to be sheltered in this society. My childhood experience and the family I came from also created my abnormal view of love, and I avoided dealing with people. If there is an opportunity, I would also like to talk about my emotional experience. Wonderful mottled!