What are the etiquettes of matchmaking?

After the match is made, it's time to get acquainted. Matchmaking is based on the introduction of the matchmaker, men and women through meetings and visits, each other to examine the character, look at the family situation, commonly known as "look at the new man" and "look at the Alley", "look at the family".

In ancient times, there was little of this custom, men and women to understand each other mainly rely on the words of the matchmaker. If the man wants to explore the woman further, often use the "peep" way. Peeking more by parents, elders, or while the woman out of the opportunity, quietly tracking peeping; or conceal the true identity, under the pretext of buying a pig, buy cattle, etc., to the female home secretly observe, knocking on the sidelines. Generally people are jealous of their own daughters by the other side to see, if the male peeping was found, the woman thinks it is very loss of decency, the marriage may produce trouble, and even trapped in the rupture.

**After, the matchmaking style gradually popularized, but the marriage parties basically do not have the right to make their own decisions, mostly by parents, elders overstepping their bounds. There are two main forms:

One is by the male parents or aunts, aunts and so on, choose a day to visit the female family. Women's parents usually let their daughters come out to show their faces, such as pouring tea, cigarettes, male family members take advantage of the situation to measure the woman's appearance, body, physique, demeanor and so on. In Quanzhou, Liancheng and other places, there is also the custom of looking at the woman's palm. Matchmaking watch palm is not like fortune tellers as elaborate, mysterious, usually just according to the woman's palm of the soft and hard and the thickness of the skin to determine whether she is blessed. Palm soft, tender skin is a good phase, while the bones protruding, muscle stiffness, rough skin is not blessed with a bad phase. Fujian folk also generally taboo women "broken palm" (also known as "horizontal palm", that is, the palm has a thick and deep lines from the left to the right across the center, such as the palm of the hand from the horizontal break), that this woman "hard life!

Another is the man himself by the matchmaker or honored elders brought to the woman's home matchmaking, in the observation of the woman at the same time, but also accept the woman's scrutiny. But the two men and women did not sit and talk, the woman just a little bit of appearance, and then hide in the inner room. In Zhangping, matchmaking is commonly known as "watching the bride", usually the man stands in the daping (patio), and the girl is dressed up and walks through the hall from the head of the left alleyway (side hall) into the head of the right alleyway, only for a short period of time. Meanwhile, the woman's parents and other relatives are watching the man. In Jianning, when the man came to the door for a blind date, the woman first covertly peeped, if there is no objection, then go out and pour tea, the man took the opportunity to glance up, if you agree, then take the tea.

Regardless of the form of blind date, if the male party is satisfied, will be expressed. Generally a small red bag to the woman, commonly known as "meet gift", or even the other members of the female family must also ride a share. In places like Qingliu, the man's family will stay for a meal before leaving. In the Putian area, if the blind date to eat each other cooked snacks? eggs and thread noodles, that is, to show their favoritism. In Jianyang, young men before leaving, the girl will personally bubble a bowl of sugar water to the young men drink, if the young men drink the bowl of sugar water, even if it is satisfied; if you drink half a bowl, said that we still have to ask the intermediary consultation, leaving room for maneuver; if only a symbolic * dip lips, is out of courtesy, said not agree with the marriage.

In Longhai, the matchmaking male send "meet gift" situation is different. The man came to the woman's home, the woman's home that is to let the daughter out of the hall to hold tea, but also invited relatives to meet the man. The man needs to be ready to meet the gift? "red envelope" according to the size of the affinity one by one. A blind date often have to spend thousands of dollars of red packet money. After the blind date, one of the men and women are not satisfied, the marriage can be suspended. Regardless of whether the marriage is successful or not, the male matchmaking red packet still have to pay.

After the male door blind date, the woman will also go to the male family walk. But the woman herself can not go, but by the elders to appear. The main thing is to look at the male family situation, such as family members, environment, housing, furnishings, etc., but also have to look at the man's appearance, the male family to set up a banquet to entertain the guests and gifts. In Putian, the woman is interested in this marriage, only to stay for dinner.

Nowadays, in the marriage etiquette of urban youth, the old-style matchmaking is rare. **Related people do not have to meet on a blind date, although they generally bring the object of their affection back home for their parents and family to consider, but the final idea is still basically taken by themselves. For those who have been set up by an introducer, the first meeting contains a certain degree of matchmaking. If the impression of the first meeting is good, there is a good start, otherwise it is difficult to talk about.

In rural areas, the custom of matchmaking is still popular, but its form and content has changed greatly. The matchmaking is not all about visiting each other's homes, some by the matchmaker or introducer to choose another place to meet; to go to the matchmaking is not only accompanied by parents, relatives, matchmakers, and so on, but also only invited friends and acquaintances as a companion, or even go alone; matchmaking process, the parties involved in the process of contact with their own longer, each other to observe will be relatively detailed, and through the conversation, and also to further understand each other's qualities, cultivation. Of course, with the improvement of living standards, the cost of matchmaking has also increased. However, in a few areas, dating when you come and go, a mixture of old and new, more complicated etiquette, more costly. In Liancheng, in the past, the "meeting gift" from the man to the woman was generally two silver dollars. Now, young men go to the woman's home "to see the new man", if you agree, you have to give the girl a red envelope, about 120 yuan. This is only a "small look". There is also the "big look," which is mainly done by the parents and elders. As the "big look", the red packet is naturally heavier and more famous. In addition to give the woman herself a 240 yuan or so of large red packets, female family members, young and old, relatives also have to take into account. To the female parents of the red packet of 42 yuan each, uncles, aunts and so on 12 yuan each, brother * siblings also 12 yuan each, their children 2.2 yuan each. At this time, the woman's family will entertain the man to eat snacks (eggs, wine, noodles). since the 80s, even the woman's family snacks expenses have to be paid by the man 120 yuan. After the man meets the woman, the next step is to "look at the family" and "look at the son-in-law", i.e., the woman's parents go to the man's home to look around. The man himself to wait at the gate, the woman's family arrived, put a cannonball to meet, and have to take the umbrella in the hands of the woman's mother, the woman then sent back to the future son-in-law a red envelope, commonly known as "umbrella gift". "Look at the family", the male party to host a banquet.