Classic ancient folk joke stories

Classic ancient folk joke stories (26 selected stories)

Story: On the basis of realistic cognitive view, it is described as an abnormal phenomenon. It is a literary genre, focusing on the description of the development process of events. It emphasizes the vividness and coherence of the plot and is more suitable for oral narration. What happened. Or imagine a story. The following are the classic ancient folk joke stories (26 selected stories) I brought to you. I hope you like it!

Classic ancient folk joke story 1 A man boasted that he could be admitted to the imperial examination in high school, saying, "I dreamed at night, and someone blew drum music to give me a plaque." His friend said, "I also dreamed that someone gave you a plaque with four words written on it: outrageous."

Some people grew up in a rich family and spent money to buy a five-product official, but they didn't know the sufferings of the people. One winter, he went out to inspect. I saw a beggar standing shivering in the cold wind. He felt very strange and asked his entourage, "Why is this person always moving?" The waiter said, "It's cold and my clothes are thin. I'm shivering." The man was even more surprised and said, "Isn't it cold to shake?"

A rich man bought a barrel of wine and put a seal on the lid. His servant drilled a hole in the bottom of the barrel and stole wine every day. The rich man was surprised to find that the seal was intact, but the amount of wine was decreasing day by day. It is suggested that he check the bottom of the bucket to see if there are any defects. The rich man replied, "You are really a fool, but there is less wine above and there is no less wine below."

People should be invited to dinner. When the host pours wine, he only pours half a cup at a time. The man said to his master, "You have a saw at home. Please lend it to me. " The host asked, "What's the use of borrowing?" The guest pointed to the cup and said, "Since the top half of this cup can't hold wine, it should be sawed off. What's the use of keeping it? "

Two friends are going to make wine jointly. A said to B, "You leave the rice and I'll leave the water." B said, "I can pay for the meal. After drinking it, how can I divide the profits?" A said, "I will never let you suffer." After drinking, I just want water, and the rest is yours. "

Classic ancient folk joke story 2 Qi loves to study hard, and over time, he becomes eccentric and stupid. One day, he got up early and asked his maid, did you dream of me last night? The maid said she didn't dream. Qi shouted at him: I saw you clearly in my dream, and you dare to deny it?

He also went to his mother to complain that the deranged handmaid should be beaten. I met her in my dream last night, but she refused to admit that she dreamed of me. What a shame!

Once upon a time, there was a king named bachelor. He is afraid of women, and he will choose a minister who is not afraid of women to help him! One day, he said to the minister, those who are afraid of women stand on the left and those who are not afraid stand on the right! In a blink of an eye, the station on the left is full and there is only one on the right.

The bachelor asks why you are standing on the right. Aren't you scared? He replied, my wife told me not to run to crowded places!

A southerner and a northerner are good liars and appreciate each other, hoping to meet and communicate. So, the two just went to visit each other all the way, right in the middle, and talked about the hot and cold weather first. Southerners said to northerners: I heard that it is particularly cold in your place, and I don't know how cold it is. Northerners boast: it's cold in the north, and even you have to take a stick to pee. If you spill it, it will freeze and you must knock on the door with it. Otherwise, people and walls will freeze together, and you can't even move if you want to. Taking a bath in the bathhouse in winter will freeze people in the basin. Southerners don't believe it, so they ask: Since it's so cold, what about the owner of the bathhouse?

Northerners said elegantly: I have never heard of the owner of the bathhouse, but I have seen the iceman in the basin. The northerner turned to the southerner and asked, I heard that it is very hot in your place. I wonder how hot it is. Southerners talk endlessly: as soon as it gets hot in the south, they stick the bread on the wall and it will be cooked immediately. If someone drives a pig in the street in summer and doesn't go far, the pig becomes a mature pig. Northerners said in surprise: pigs are already like this, why can people be inferior? Renye Fang replied with a poetic lie: The pig is still barbecuing, and its people have turned to dust.

Classic ancient folk joke story 5. A man wore boots by mistake when he went out, with a thick bottom and a thin bottom. It is not proper to walk with one foot high and one foot low. The man was surprised and said to himself, Why are my legs getting shorter and shorter today? Maybe the road is rough. Someone told him that you probably put on your boots by mistake.

This man just looked at it carefully and it happened. So, I quickly sent my family home to visit for a long time before coming back, but my hands were empty and my boots were not brought. The master asked him why he didn't bring it, and he reluctantly said to the master: No need to change it. The two at home are also one thick and one thin!

Classic ancient folk joke story 6 Ye Heng returned to his hometown after being dismissed from office. One day, he was ill and many people came to visit him. He asked everyone, I'm dying, and I don't know if it's good after death. A scholar replied: it's easy! It's simple! Ye Heng was surprised and asked, How do you know? If you can't get through, all the dead people will flee back.

So far, I haven't seen a dead man escape, so it's easy to be killed! The guests in the room couldn't help laughing.

Classic ancient folk joke story 7 An ordinary citizen was rewarded by the government and received by the county magistrate. When the magistrate saw that he was old, he called him an old fairy. The man was very unhappy after he came back from the government. When my son saw this, he asked what was going on. The man said that the county magistrate bullied me too much. He should have called me an old gentleman, but he ironically called me an old gentleman first. Obviously, he is frivolous! Fortunately, I didn't take advantage of him when I called him back.

My son asked him his name. The man said, I should have called him old parents, but I deliberately missed the last word and just called him old father.

Classic Ancient Folk Joke Story 8 Original: A man went to watch a martial arts field, and an arrow shot him wrong. In the face of surgical treatment, the doctor said, "It's very simple." Then saw off his outer pole with a small saw, which is to ask for a resignation. Q: "How about internal cutting?" Answer: "This is a matter of internal medicine."

A man went to the martial arts field to watch the game and was shot by an arrow by mistake. Looking for a surgeon to treat him, the doctor said, "It's a piece of cake." So I sawed off the arrow shaft outside my body with a saw. I asked for the fee and planned to leave. Someone asked, "Where is the arrow left in the body?" The doctor replied, "This is a matter for physicians."

Classic ancient folk joke story 9 original: a ghost holds life, and hades will be rich. The ghost said, "I don't want to be rich, but I want to have food and clothing all my life." Burning fragrant tea is enough. " Hades said, "If you want money, I will give you tens of thousands more to make you live a stable and happy life, but you are not allowed to enjoy it."

There was a ghost who wanted to be entrusted with his life, and the keeper sentenced him to be a rich man. The ghost said, "I don't want wealth, but I want to have food and clothing all my life, no right and wrong, burn fragrant tea and enjoy a peaceful life." Hades said, "If you want money, I will give you tens of thousands of taels of silver to make you live a stable and happy life, and you are not allowed to enjoy it."

Classic ancient folk joke story 10 Original: Confucius from ruin cried. The disciples' consolation was that they pooled their money to hang a cow's body and told him, "Lin is still alive." Confucius said, "This is obviously a village cow, but it has a few extra dollars."

Confucius cried when he saw the dead unicorn. In order to comfort Confucius, his students strung copper coins and hung them all over the cow, telling Confucius, "Kirin has come back to life." When Confucius saw the fake unicorn, he said, "This is obviously a stupid cow, just a few more money."

Classic ancient folk joke story 1 1 original: Raise your hand when you shave your head, it will hurt you. But he stopped the knife and said to his master, "this head is still tender, so I can't cut it." And I will shave after a while when I am old. "

A barber shaved someone's head, only a few times, and he hurt several scalps. So he put down his knife and stopped shaving. He said to his master, "Your head is too tender to cut. After a while, let it grow up and shave it for you. "

Classic ancient folk story 12 Original: A student plays the piano very well, but after a taste, he says there is no confidant in the world. One day, I had nothing to do, playing the piano for fun, and suddenly I heard a sigh from my neighbor. I am ecstatic. I thought my bosom friend was there, so I knocked on the door. The neighbor said, "Without him, my dead son lives in the daytime, and I play catkins for a living. It sounds great today. I don't feel sad. "

A gentleman likes playing the piano at ordinary times. He once said that he is always unhappy without a bosom friend. I have nothing to do all day. He played the piano for fun, when suddenly he heard a sigh coming from next door. Thought I met a bosom friend, so I knocked at the door and asked what was going on. The old lady next door said, "Nothing. My dead son made a living by playing cotton. Today, you play the piano like he plays cotton. I didn't feel sad after listening to it. "

Classic ancient folk joke story 13 In the late Ming and early Qing dynasties, there was a wise man named Abby in Bifeng, Lanxi, Zhejiang Province, who often opposed the rich man.

One day, monopoly Zhou Daosheng spoke ill of Abby in a teahouse. Abby happened to pass by and walked in and said, "I had a strange thing today."

Zhou Daosheng quickly asked, "Brother Bi, what's so strange?"

Abby said, "My neighbor's dog has been stealing paintings and calligraphy recently. Today, my neighbor took out all the paintings and calligraphy collected at home to dry, and the dog ate them. The owner killed the dog and cut open its belly. Guess what's inside? Ha, a bad stomach. "

The tea drinker realized that Bi was laughing at Zhou Daosheng and burst out laughing.

One day, Sun Caizhu prepared to hold a banquet to entertain the guests. Long-term worker Abby went shopping with him and bought a whole basket of fish.

On the way back, Abby saw a yellow dog not far away, so he deliberately put down the basket and carried it. The yellow dog rushed over and took a bite of the meat. Sun Caizhu ordered Bi Nan to chase after him. Abby chased him for a while and came back empty-handed and said, "Oh, what a blessing for a sick dog!" "

Sun Man, a rich man, asked inexplicably, "What did you say?" Abby said, "well, as long-term workers, we work hard all year round and never eat a meal." Now, as your boss said,' destiny takes a hand' is not a blessing. "

The rich man nodded and said, "Yes! Eating meat has the blessing of eating meat. Why do I always drink and eat? This is' fate'! "

Abby smiled and said, "Boss, that dead plague dog took the meat away. Just like you, hey hey, there are also meat eaters. What a blessing. " The rich man froze.

Classic ancient folk joke story 15 Zheng Banqiao, a painter and calligrapher in Qing dynasty, was poor at home when he was young. Because there is no name and no power, although calligraphy and painting are good, they can't sell well.

There is nothing of value at home.

One day, when Zheng Banqiao was lying in bed, he suddenly saw a furtive figure on the enough paper. Zheng Banqiao thought, this must be a thief. What's worth taking from my house? He began to recite poems loudly: the wind is blowing, the moon is faint, and the hard-working gentleman is cold! There are ten thousand volumes hidden in the belly of poetry and books, and there are no half of the money strings at the bedside.

Hearing this, the thief turned and ran. Zheng Banqiao read two more poems to see him off: Don't scare the yellow-tailed dog when going out, and don't interfere with the green flowerpot when crossing the wall.

The thief hurried over the wall and escaped. He accidentally knocked over some wall bricks. Zheng Banqiao's yellow dog barked at the thief and bit him. Zheng Banqiao put on clothes to go out, drank the yellow dog, picked up the fallen thief, sent him to the road, bowed and sent two poems:

I will put on my clothes at night, pack up my ambitions and start over.

Classic Ancient Folk Joke Story 16 When Zheng Banqiao was appointed as the magistrate of Wei County, one day, officials reported that the magistrate passed by Wei County, but Zheng Banqiao did not go out to meet him. Originally, the county magistrate was born from class donation, and he bought enough money to carry a sedan chair, but he didn't have any real talent in his stomach, so Zheng Banqiao looked down on him.

Magistrate adults came to the county government kitchens, Zheng Banqiao didn't go out of the city to meet, in the heart very unhappy. At the banquet, the judge became more and more angry. Just then, the official served a plate of river crabs, and the magistrate thought, "Why don't I let him improvise some poems about crabs?" If I can't do it, I'll humiliate him again in public and sulk! " So he pointed at the crab with chopsticks and said, "This thing is rampant in rivers. It is very arrogant. I have long heard that Zheng is talented. Why not sing a poem on this thing to cheer up the wine? " Zheng Banqiao know its meaning, just a thought, sing a way:

Eight claws ran around, two claws danced with dignity, their bellies were empty, and ginger vinegar was stained with wine.

The county magistrate was embarrassed.

Classic Ancient Folk Joke Story 17 One day, Ji Xiaolan (a great scholar in Qing Dynasty) accompanied Gan Long to visit the Big Buddha Temple. The monarch and ministers came to the king's hall, but they saw a potbellied Maitreya in the middle of the hall, his chest was bare, and he was watching them laugh. Qianlong asked, "Why does this Buddha laugh at me?"

Ji Xiaolan calmly replied: "This Put Lolerk smiled at the Buddha."

Gan Long asked, "How do you say this?" Ji Xiaolan said: "The Holy One is the reincarnation of Manjusri Bodhisattva, the living Buddha today. Now he comes to the Buddhist temple to worship Buddha, so it is said that Buddha smiles when he sees Buddha."

Qianlong secretly approved it and turned to leave. Suddenly, he saw Maitreya, a big-bellied Buddha, smiling at Ji Xiaolan. He turned and asked, "Why does the Buddha see the smile clearly?" Ji Xiaolan said, "Your Majesty, a Buddha smiles at a minister, but a smiling minister cannot become a Buddha."

Gan Long praised Ji Xiaolan's eloquence.

Classic ancient folk joke story 18 Luo worked as a long-term worker in the miser valley. In order to make the long-term workers eat less vegetables, Gu Dadu chats with the long-term workers every time he eats. At dinner this day, Gu Dadu "narrated" the two emperors Guangxu and Daoguang.

Luo Zhu Lin said quickly, "Guangxu's grandfather is Daoguang. In my opinion, narration (speaking) is not good, but it is better! " Say that finish, pour all the dishes on the table into the rice bowls of several long-term workers.

Classic ancient folk joke story 19 Prime Minister's eightieth birthday. In order to make a fortune, he sent invitations everywhere, regardless of relatives or friends. Ji Xiaolan is very dissatisfied with this. The day before his birthday, he sent someone to send him a big red one with four big characters: "What an old turtle".

The Prime Minister was very angry when he saw it. The next day, he asked Ji Xiaolan to explain it face to face.

Ji Xiaolan said quietly, "You are an old minister of the previous dynasty. You are 80 years old and you are old." Generation after generation black veil covers the top, which is' Wu'; Since ancient times, turtles are as famous as cranes, both of which are symbols of longevity. What kind of person is Wei Wudi? He even praised the tortoise as a tortoise, celebrating the birthday of old Guo Xiang, and taking it as a blessing, which is true; "Real" people are real and well-deserved. "After listening to his explanation, everyone is in distress situation. The old prime minister finally said something, but he couldn't think of a suitable countermeasure at the moment, so he had to turn his face and thank each other.

During the Qianlong period of the 20th century, there was a rich man in the village of Pang Zhenkun, Dengzhou, Henan. When his wife gave birth to the eighth child, she asked Tintin to inform the tenants that she would treat them in 12 days. The heavier the gift, the better. Be careful not to hit him. According to local rules, it is not the first child who is not interested in entertaining guests. The tenants were angry and anxious, so they asked Pang Zhenkun to find a way.

After 12 days, Pang Zhenkun led the tenant with a stone on his back to the rich man's house. Seeing this scene, the rich man was furious. Pang Zhenkun smiled: "Didn't you say that the heavier the gift, the better?" After that, I went to a banquet with my tenants.

Classic ancient folk joke story 2 1 There was a county magistrate who was greedy for sex and wanted to get a satisfied little wife. He sent people to choose from the east and the west, which was disturbing. One day, Pang Zhenkun introduced himself as the matchmaker of the county magistrate and asked him what he wanted to marry. The magistrate said, "What I want is a cherry with a small mouth, almond eyes, crescent eyebrows and a fairy face. I have nothing to eat, drink and gossip."

Pang Zhenkun smiled and said, "What a coincidence, there are such women in my village." At present, the merchants have set a wedding date. On the wedding day, firecrackers, gongs and drums and horns were very lively. As soon as the sedan chair arrived, the county magistrate came forward to uncover the bride's flower cover. He flew into a rage: it turned out to be a clay-embryo bodhisattva in flowered clothes.

Pang Zhenkun said with a smile, "Look, isn't she' cherry with small mouth, almond eyes, crescent eyebrows and fairy face? She doesn't talk about eating and drinking, and she doesn't talk about it? "

One day, the magistrate of a county wanted to test Shen's knowledge, so he invited him to drink. After three rounds of drinking, the magistrate pointed to the mirror in his heart and asked Shen who he was.

Shen smiled and said, "What a big pillow."

After seeing Shen off, the county magistrate told his little wife, "People say Shen is very knowledgeable, but in fact he doesn't even know the mirror in the museum. He also said it was a pillow top!" The little wife thought for a moment and asked, "Sir, do you know what's in the pillow?"

"Straw!" The little wife said, "That's right! He compared you to an embroidered pillow, full of grass and a big straw bag! "

Classic Ancient Folk Joke Story 23 On this day, Boss Han collected the account and bought a bowl of boiled tofu to eat. There is an old rich man across the dining table. While eating cucumber mixed with shredded pork and drinking wine, he proudly said to himself: "The poor are poor, the rich are rich, the rich eat cucumber, and the poor eat tofu."

Hearing this, Boss Han knew that the old rich man was making fun of himself, so he was not anxious or angry. He said to the waiter, "I want 150 plate of shredded cucumber!" "

The waiter said, "There are not so many cucumbers. Besides, why do you want so much? " Boss Han said, "I bought a wild boar in the collection." The original owner said that this big wild boar loves to eat mixed cucumbers. This is called:

The poor are poor, the rich are rich, and boars love cucumbers. Pig drivers can only eat tofu. "

Everyone who ate in the restaurant burst into laughter. The old rich man blushed, picked up the hip flask, drank it in one breath, and ran out of the restaurant despondently.

Classic ancient folk joke story 24 Luo went to Gu Dadu's parents' work. On the first day of work, Gu Dadu got up early and told him to work in the fields before dawn, but after waiting for a long time, Luo didn't come out, so he shouted impatiently.

Luo said, "I got up early and was busy catching lice." Gu Dadu said, "Nonsense, it's not dawn yet. Can you catch it in the dark? " Luo asked, "since I can't catch lice, can I see it when I work in the fields early?"

Gu was mostly asked dumb.

There was a young monk who ran into the yard in the middle of the night with a long bamboo pole and flapped at the night sky, making a scene. Finally, the old monk was disturbed. The old monk asked, "What on earth are you doing without sleeping in the middle of the night?" The young monk summoned up his courage nervously and replied, "Master, I want the stars in the sky, but I can't beat them with my wave ..." The old monk immediately flew into a rage and swore, "You idiot, you don't know such a simple question. It's really stupid and unforgivable. How can you fight in a place like that ... you won't climb to the roof. 」

A scholar went to a tea shed to drink tea. A nun in the shed didn't know a word in the scripture, so she asked the scholar, "Excuse me, Guo Jianzi, how do you pronounce this word?" 」

As soon as the scholar heard someone call him a Guo-zi-jian diploma, he deliberately showed off his knowledge. He said, "This monk should know sorrow and decline. Guo-zi-jian diploma and scholar are the same, but their stomachs are different. 」

A nun heard that he called himself a monk and said disapprovingly, "You should know that Qi and Zhai, nuns and monks are the same as cassock, but their crotch is different. 」

A little girl serving tea in a tea shed couldn't help laughing. Both of them turned back and said, "Sister-in-law, what are you laughing at? 」

An unmarried little girl heard them call her eldest sister-in-law. She was very angry and said, "You should know how to make up. A girl and sister-in-law have the same figure but different circles. 」

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