What's the boy with a mouthful of "shit, fart and dirty words", the little man in his head, thinking?

When Cai Tou was born, her friend Yu Yu took her four-year-old child to visit her. When the child first enters the door, he says hello politely and greets his little brother lying in bed.

Then he suddenly said, "Mom, he stinks ..." This sentence was repeatedly emphasized three or four times. Yu Yu was embarrassed to explain that he recently said "smelly" among the children in kindergarten, and the children learned it.

In fact, this is still good, at least it doesn't make adults more embarrassed.

Children swear, not only in ordinary families, but also in celebrity parents.

Alyssa Chia, the star mother, has always been regarded as a model of parents, but there is one thing that makes people question her parenting style.

In 20 19, 13, Wu Tongmei, who just entered adolescence, publicly spoke out about school pressure on social software, and used the word "fuck", which caused quite a stir at that time.

Adolescent children are rebellious at heart. When they are stressed and in a bad mood, they will talk angrily. It is not uncommon to "spit incense" occasionally, but they are just expressing temporary emotions.

As long as you are properly disciplined as a child, you will not teach a "dirty" baby.

Children are "popular", what should parents do?

No matter what problems children have, parents should think first, not start first.

When we first hear a child say something unpleasant, we should immediately reflect: Have I ever said this to my child so that they can learn? Who did the child learn from? What does he want to express?

Only by finding the root of the problem can we find the corresponding solution.

If we start without thinking, things may develop in a more severe direction.

Just like Aunt Zhang's grandson mentioned above, the frequency of swearing has not decreased, and the situation is more serious. Recently, I heard him scold his parents. ...

Before discussing the solution, let's talk about it: Why do children start swearing?

1, just learning and imitating:

The child began to swear and didn't realize it was "bad behavior".

In a word, swearing by children is as pure as learning a foreign language. On the contrary, it was the overreaction of parents, which made the children realize that it was special and interesting, and then it was out of control.

2. Feel the power of language to get more attention:

Every child will go through a "curse sensitive period", which is a psychological growth process of children aged 3-6, characterized by frequent use of words such as "shit and fart, killing, dying, rolling, beating and stinking".

At this time, children find that language is powerful, and saying these words can arouse strong reactions from adults and manipulate others' emotions.

So they use it again and again, constantly test it, observe the reactions of people around them, and feel the sense of accomplishment brought by the power of language.

3. Affected by the environment:

When children swear, they must be influenced by the environment. This environment may be through TV, mobile phone animation, video, or the learning environment in kindergarten, or the surrounding social environment.

Children have a strong learning ability. Don't underestimate their ability to learn and imitate. If the elders at home have the habit of swearing or the children in kindergarten say something, they will follow suit.

When other children speak strange languages, children should learn to show that we are "together"!

Rome was not built in a day, nor did children learn dirty in a day or two. Parents should find out and intervene in time.

When the child is older, it may not be easy to correct it.

So how should children correct swearing?

1, "cold" processing first:

Maybe just after learning to speak, the baby will jump out with a dirty word or two, and at this time they are just imitating.

By the age of three or four, they will swear because of language sensitivity or because they find it interesting. They just want to attract others' attention, but they don't really understand the meaning of these dirty words.

In these cases, as long as the parties do not show surprise and strong reaction at that time, the children will get bored and gradually forget.

On the contrary, the stronger the parents' reaction and the more they stop it, the more energetic they will be and the more they like to talk.

As long as you have patience and proper guidance, the sensitive period of the curse will come uninvited and naturally pass.

2. Find the purpose of children swearing and pay attention to their inner needs:

If the child repeatedly tries to find trouble, parents can't let go.

Because children at this stage lack emotional control and poor expression skills, they often spit out dirty words when they are hurt inside.

At this time, adults should not only downplay their reactions, but also find appropriate words to guide their children to express their extreme dissatisfaction and grievances, pay attention to their inner needs, and see if they have not given him enough respect and attention, or ignored him.

After the child's emotions calm down and feel comforted, tell the child in short and serious language: You just said mom XX, and mom is very sad. This is not a good word. Don't tell mom or anyone in the future, okay?

Usually pay attention to cultivate children's emotional ability and expression ability, let him understand the harm of these words to others, and fundamentally solve the problem.

3, check the language environment of children:

In the variety show Shining Dad, Wilber Pan and 5-year-old Danzi formed a temporary father and son.

During the recording process, Dandan frequently used inappropriate words such as "What's wrong with you, bad guy, big head ghost", which made "Dad" Wilber Pan very headache.

After repeated persuasion was useless, "Dad" said sternly, "If you don't change, just stand outside and don't come into the house", and Egg cried and apologized.

When asked why he kept swearing, Danzi said the reason: "Because mom and dad always do this, I will learn from them."

Therefore, it still confirms a sentence: when children swear, they must be influenced by the environment! !

In this environment, it may be parents, grandparents, his big uncle, second aunt, third aunt and fourth uncle. ...

In this case, it is necessary to have a good talk with family members, maintain consistent family values, clarify family rules, and minimize children's exposure to such languages.

4, formulate family rules:

You can't keep zero tolerance for children's endless swearing. "Soft" is "hard".

For example, if a baby swears because someone accidentally touches his food and toys, or loses his temper for no reason, he can take measures such as confiscating toys (taking them back for a few minutes to show punishment), preventing him from eating and eating (pausing for a few minutes to show punishment), and telling the child the pros and cons.

The next time a similar situation occurs, the time for confiscating toys and stopping eating will be extended in turn.

After that, be sure to emphasize the reasons for punishing him again, such as telling the child in this way:

It seems that you already know that swearing is not good, so from now on, no one is allowed to continue saying such things in our family.

Whoever curses will be punished. If you say it next time, you will be punished more severely.

Let the children realize that swearing will have bad consequences, and the whole family will unanimously let the children bear the corresponding consequences and implement them gently and firmly for a period of time. I'm sure the children will soon correct themselves.

I believe that the stage of children swearing is only an episode in their growth journey and will soon pass; But if parents don't talk well, children will eventually know what their parents are like.

Talking well is not only to create a pure environment for children, but also the basis for parents to promote emotional warming, and it is also the gospel of harmony and happiness for the whole family.