Kong Rong let pear mean.

Kong Rong is a well-known traditional virtue story. Many parents use this story to teach their young children to be modest.

According to legend, Kong Rong has five brothers and one younger brother. When he was four years old, one day, he ate pears at home. A plate of pears was placed in front of everyone, and my brother asked my brother to take it first.

Kong Rong looked at the pears on his plate and found that they were large and small. He doesn't choose the good ones or the big ones, but only eats the smallest pears with relish. Father was very happy to see Kong Rong's behavior. He thought: although the child is only four years old, he knows how to leave good things to others. So he deliberately asked Kong Rong, "There are so many pears on the plate, you should take them first. Why not take the big one and only the smallest one? "

Kong Rong replied: "I am young, so I should leave the youngest and the oldest to my brother."

Dad then asked, "isn't your brother younger than you?" According to you, he should take the smallest one? "

Kong Rong said, "I am older than my brother. I'm my brother. I should leave the big one to my younger brother. "

Dad smiled. "Good boy, good boy, you are really a good boy, and you will be very promising in the future."

From the story, we realize that we should learn from Kong Rong from childhood and form the habit of respecting the old and loving the young.

At the same time, I also found a loophole in this story:

Hypocrisy against children's nature

A four-year-old child should be naive. When making choices, they are more instinctive and honest.

In front of many brothers, he was the first to make a choice. According to children's nature, if pears are delicious and Kong Rong can eat the big ones, he should not hesitate to choose the biggest ones. If someone is small and eats like a bird, he can choose a small one.

But in order to please his parents, he had to make up a set of reasons to leave the big one to his brother and his younger brother, which made his father happy. What he did was obviously utilitarian, just to win the favor of his parents. Why? Because Kong Rong is neither the eldest nor the third in the family, he is in a position easily ignored by his parents. In order to make his parents pay attention to him, he learned to read and listen to his feelings from an early age.

So Kong Rong told the truth of pear: in the process of competing with several brothers, a false choice against nature.

When my son was four years old, I tested him, took out a plate of pears and asked him if he wanted a big one or a small one. He said he wanted a small one because he could only eat small ones. This answer is more honest and more in line with the child's nature.

Second, there are no principles and no rules.

Everything has certain rules, without which Fiona Fang cannot be realized.

Kong Rong's reasons for letting pears seem reasonable, but in fact, the standards are chaotic, based entirely on personal subjective wishes. There is no reason at all.

For example, his first reason: "I am young, I should take the youngest, and the older one should be left to my brother." If this truth holds, the young should give way to the old, then he should always adhere to this principle. However, his father asked him, "isn't your brother younger than you?" According to you, he should take the smallest one. Kong Rong immediately overthrew the previous reasons and argued, "I am older than my brother. I'm my brother. I should leave the big one to my younger brother. "

Think about it carefully: I am young, and the older one should be given to my younger brother; My eldest son should be left to my younger brother. These two standards are inherently antagonistic, so you can only choose one, but you can't have both. In order to please our parents, Kong Rong turned black and white at will and said whatever he wanted.

He tampered with the rules at will, which made his father like it very much, but embarrassed his brothers. Which standard should he adhere to?

Civilized society is first of all regulated by laws and systems, not inconsistent and capricious in order to highlight some people and things.

3. Don't respect others' arbitrariness

Kong Rong has the first choice. Instead of asking his brother's advice, he took the initiative to pick up the smallest pear and ate it with relish. It also proves the rationality of this choice on the grounds of age.

He didn't think about whether his brothers really want to eat big, and whether his younger brother can really eat big. He didn't even think about six children. He is neither the eldest nor the youngest. Why did he eat first?

As a result, the standard was tampered with by him, and the good man was regarded as him, which became an instant hit. However, his brothers had to make awkward and contradictory choices because of his example and his double chaotic standards.

Here, we found Kong Rong's extreme self. He only cares about what he thinks and what he should do, and doesn't care about other people's ideas, but imposes his own ideas on others.

Kong Rong has a strong desire for expression, hypocrisy and tactfulness, which is out of proportion to his age. Not only did his father fail to see through it, but he preached everywhere that his practice was a virtue. As a result, Kong Rong developed a domineering character. When he grew up, his boss Dong Zhuo disliked him, and Cao Cao hated him because of his personality defects. In the end, Cao Cao was punished for "violating if you want" and "hitting a person when he's down", which is a typical case of cleverness being mistaken by cleverness.

Kong Rong's tragic life is closely related to his father's wrong educational concept.

If the father corrects Kong Rong's self-righteousness in eating pears, lets several children get the pears they want according to certain rules or strength, and encourages the children to be honest and upright, maybe his life will end differently.

Every parent should strive to educate their children to be honest, to compete by strength and to abide by rules and regulations. But Kong Rong asked Pear to teach children the story of hypocrisy, wit and selfishness.