Dialect homophonic joke

Complete works of dialect homophonic jokes

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Most of them reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. The following are my carefully arranged dialect homophonic jokes, hoping to help you!

Dialect homophonic joke 1 1, the old people in the nursing home held a party on the night of Mid-Autumn Festival, and the host, Mrs. Wang, said, "Ladies and gentlemen, the performance is damn (it's started). Please be quiet. "

A northerner inquired where the "cable car" was in a park in Guangzhou. He searched according to the answer and found the "men's room".

On the first morning after a couple got married, the family got up and washed their faces. The bride respectfully said to her mother-in-law, "Mother-in-law, you should die first." After that, the bride said to the groom, "My mother-in-law is dead, will you die?" After a pause, he said, "My mother-in-law and you are dead, and finally I am dead." Hearing this, the mother-in-law was livid and couldn't say a word. The bride said, "Mother-in-law, why are you still alive?"

4. An old lady in Putian sells sugar cane by the roadside. A bus stopped and a foreigner came to the old lady's booth to buy sugar cane. She just weighed the sugar cane and didn't pay. The car started. The old lady urged, "Come on, give me the money and I'll marry you." Outsiders were so scared that they didn't even take sugar cane, so they quickly got on the bus.

A country girl came to the supermarket, and the waiter greeted her warmly: "What do you want, miss?" The girl said, "I want your life (noodles), pig grandson (bamboo shoots)."

Dialect homophonic joke 2 1, Chunhua met a friend who was shopping with her son, and quickly went forward to say hello and boasted, "This little wolf (boy) is really cute."

Two country girls came back from the city. It's getting late. When they saw a truck coming, they waved to it. The driver stuck his head out. A girl said, "Comrade, can we be your wife (car)?" The driver said angrily, "Who wants you to be my wife?" Another girl quickly said, "It doesn't matter, we are very close." The driver was so angry that he drove away and thought, "Who will go with you?"

The village head said at the villagers' meeting, "Rabbits, shrimps and pickles are too expensive, not pickles, but pig's feet." Translate his dialect into Mandarin: Comrades and villagers, let's have a meeting now. Don't talk, but pay attention.

4. Niu Laobo is shouting loudly: "The moon cakes are sold, for four dollars and ten." Many people gathered around to buy this "cheap" moon cake, and only when they paid did they know that the moon cake for the elderly was four yuan for ten yuan.

Dialect homophonic joke 3 1, the fish seller shouted at the top of his lungs: "fish, fish." Not to be outdone, a jujube seller nearby immediately shouted, "Shit (jujube), shit (jujube)." "Fish." "Oh,no." "Fish." "Shit." The more fish sellers listen, the more wrong they are. He felt that the jujube seller was deliberately targeting him, so they quarreled.

The director of a township enterprise will visit Kobe, Japan. He doesn't even speak Mandarin, but only speaks dialects at ordinary times. So he sent his subordinates to find translators, and when he came back, he reported that "none of the Japanese translators could understand the factory director's dialect". The factory director said, "This is easy to handle. We will bring another teacher from our town and let him translate our local dialect into Mandarin first. " The subordinate said, "Not yet. When I arrive in Japan, I have to ask someone to translate Japanese Mandarin into Kobe dialect. "

A foreigner with a strong dialect got lost in this city. When he saw a gentle young lady coming, he greeted him and asked, "Rabbit (comrade), give me a kiss (sorry) ..." Before the words were finished, the young lady blushed with anger.

4. A southerner came to a snack bar in Beijing and said to the waitress, "How much is it to sleep for one night (a bowl of jiaozi)?" Hearing this, the waiter changed his face and screamed, "Rogue!" Hearing this, the southerner said, "It's only sixty cents, which is cheap. Come for one night (bowl). "

5. A brother and sister farmer used a scooter to pull wheat to the market to sell. A southerner came to their brother and sister and asked, "Brother, how much is your little sister?" Big brother was so angry that the veins stood out on his forehead.

Dialect homophonic joke 4 What happened to that beautiful woman?

Chatting with my classmates in the corridor, a beautiful female chemistry teacher passed by,

I pointed to the teacher and said to my friend, "That beautiful woman ..."

The chemistry teacher heard it. He turned around, smiled and asked, "What happened to that beautiful woman?"

I paused and answered, "Na, Mg, Al, Si, P, S, Cl, Ar, K and Ca"

Can you give me a spoon?

There used to be a monk who passed by our village looking for water and went to Aunt Wang's house.

Monk: "patroness, I'm here to beg for water."

Aunt Wang kindly took the monk to the yard: "Master, wait for me to fetch water."

The monk nodded kindly: "The benefactor is really kind. Can you give me a scoop? "

Then there was a lame monk in our town.

Is it cool?

A colleague came to work today and saw that his hair was short.

Me: How to cut your hair? Is it cool?

He sincerely said to me: Not 2 yuan, but 28 yuan!

Zhu Shanghai

There is a classmate in the class named Zhu Shanghai, and Tepi doesn't like studying.

Once in class, he played by himself, which influenced others.

The teacher criticized him viciously:

"You are so unlearned and want to live in Shanghai? I can't open the door when I live in the toilet. "

To find you (roommate)!

"Teacher, you wanted to see me?"

"I heard that you often have an accident recently. Did you skip class yesterday? "

"well. I did go to cut class. "

"Is it fast to use in the dormitory?"

"I am useful."

"Is there a hair dryer in the dormitory?"

"well. I am useful. "

"Oh, the teacher is wrong about you, go and call you (roommate)!"

Since I am kneeling like this, I won't buy it.

Go shopping for clothes with my girlfriend, who likes a coat.

It costs 6888 yuan to open the label.

My girlfriend is also very sensible, knowing that it is not easy for me to make money.

He turned to me and said, "Since I am kneeling like this, I won't buy it."

I am a lost child.

The child got lost in the forest and met a big stupid bear.

The child said, I am a lost child. Can you take me to see my mother?

The big stupid bear nodded and took the child to the elk's house. ......

It's not good to die.

Liu Bei: "Zhao Yun. We three brothers used to be best friends. You are a good man today, count you in. "

Zhao Yun: "You'd better not."

Zhang Fei: "How can you look down on our brothers?"

Zhao Yun: "No, Brother Fei, I just don't think it's nice to call Zhao Si."

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